posted 7 days ago on the register
12 questions later, your life is a little shorter Something for the Weekend, Sir?  Gor blimey guv. I jus’ bin dahn the ol’ rub-a-dub for a pokey alright sparrah do us a lemon John.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
We'll give you a clue: it rhymes with shmevidence As a business owner, I want to believe that I have what it takes to lead. I'm charismatic enough that I can usually convince people to do what I want them to do. I am good enough with Google that I can find out many things and I have the ability to learn a great deal about complex topics quickly. Surely I will thusly make good decisions and be a great CEO!…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Who will hold these mandarins to account? More mandarins Taxpayers cash that government spends on consultants and temporary staff has soared 90 per cent over the last five years to £1.3bn, as Whitehall struggled to build technical skills in-house, an official report confirmed.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Bug bounty hunter stumbles across backdoor leaking FB staff usernames, passwords A bug bounty hunter compromises a Facebook staff server through a sloppy file-sharing webapp – and finds someone's already beaten him to it by backdooring the machine.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Anti-dolphin-munching mission DDoSed car-maker Nissan A pair of Akamai researchers are warning that entities using the name and iconography of hacker collective Anonymous will soon expand a six-year distributed denial of service (DDoS) attack campaign against Japan to other whale-and-dolphin-eating nations.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Shouty boss humiliated once smut filter upgrade order produced ON-CALL  Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday fun in which readers send in their stories of being asked to do odd things around the office.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Stolen card values on the way down ahead of chip card debut A hacker group has stolen some 10 million credit cards, putting itself in a position to score US$400 million (£279 million, A$516 million) by infecting 2000 payment terminals with the Trinity point of sales malware.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Leading leaker wants to visit Oslo trip to pick up freedom prize without being picked up Super-leaker Edward Snowden is suing the government of Norway.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Fibre-to-the-node backer replaces fibre-to-the-premises enthusiast Simon Hackett nbn, the entity building and operating Australia's national broadband network, has announced a new board member.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Owner couldn't bear to dump Power Mac G5 workhorse. What's your old kit propping up? The Register has been shooting some video of late, and on a recent visit to Key Studio came across a coffee table we think is worthy of some attention.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
You thought McAfee was a master of disguise? The Register has been shooting some video of late, and on a recent visit to Key Studio came across a coffee table we think is worthy of some attention.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
File system declared stable, but users warned upgrade is 'non-trivial' Software-defined object storage project Ceph has issued a new release its makers say is a “major release” that “will be the foundation for the next long-term stable release.”…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Oh, you weren't relying on that to lockdown your PCs, were you? If you're relying on Microsoft's AppLocker to lock down your office or school Windows PCs, then you should check this out. A security researcher say he's found a way to potentially bypass the operating system's software whitelist and launch arbitrary applications.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
'Daylight robbery' cannot be allowed says chief minister India's capital city, Delhi, has banned Uber's surge pricing.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Mini-Chipzilla licenses CPU tech to Chinese manufacturer – and the crowd goes wild About a year ago, we asked you to pray for AMD. It's working.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
For when 'uploading over the network is expensive or not feasible' - cough - NBN - cough Microsoft's flicked the switch on its Azure physical data import service for Australia and Japan.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Cupertino's calamitous conduct drops users down security hole Apple has finally informed its customers that it is no longer supporting QuickTime for Windows, and Adobe is having to do a rapid reworking of its code to avoid putting users at risk.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Telco keeps revenues up with strong hardware sales Verizon says that it will focus on "developing new markets," as the telco giant was just able to keep revenues on the uptick.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
In Soviet Redmond, phones rain on cloud Microsoft is putting a brave face on disappointing third-quarter earnings that saw profits fall 25 per cent year-on-year and cloud revenues failing to rise fast enough to offset losses in other areas.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Wall Street hammers Chocolate Factory for not hitting targets Google parent company Alphabet is feeling the heat after it failed to reach earnings targets this past quarter.…

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posted 7 days ago on the register
Billion-dollar Russian Trojan team in the tank for quarter of a century in the US A two-man team responsible for spreading the SpyEye malware that caused more than a billion dollars in financial hardship is now starting extended sentences in American prisons.…

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posted 8 days ago on the register
Common standards for set-top boxes? Ha ha ha The US National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) has threatened to sue the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) if it pushes ahead with plans to open up cable boxes.…

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posted 8 days ago on the register
This wouldn't have anything to do with a recent FCC decision, would it? Comcast appears to be suddenly in the mood for murdering set-top boxes.…

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posted 8 days ago on the register
Browser offers secure service, world + dog chokes up pipeline Opera has built a free virtual private network (VPN) service into the latest version of its browser for Windows and OS X.…

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posted 8 days ago on the register
Nice work, if you can get it Vid  FBI director James Comey today suggested the Feds paid security experts over a million dollars to crack a San Bernardino killer's iPhone.…

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