posted 2 days ago on the register
Buy for old-skool servers, transfer to hipstercoverged boxen, irritate Nutanix et al VMware has announced what it's calling a “vSphere Loyalty Program” that allows vSphere usetrs to “apply their licenses to the purchase of VMware EVO:RAIL appliances from our nine Qualified EVO:RAIL Partners.”…

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posted 2 days ago on the register
Only one stiff allowed per service The Chinese Ministry of Culture has announced that the government will begin working with the police to clamp down on families hiring strippers for funerals in order to increase in size (dare we say 'arouse') mourner attendance figures.…

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posted 2 days ago on the register
ThinkPads burn two, turn punter's skin scarlet and burned their clothes Lenovo has extended the recall for bodgy batteries it shipped with ThinkPad computers between 2010 and 2012.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Even with reduced on-board storage, 'the cloud ate my homework' isn't going to cut it Microsoft has quietly let it be known it's developed a cheap cut of the Surface 3 for schools.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
IP Infusion joins Round Rock's not-quite-white-box switching plan Dell has celebrated the first birthday of its open networking program by launching more products.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Object storage stack Seagate will hand over some of its Kinetic Storage platform to the world at the coming OpenStack summit in Vancouver, Canada.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Promises real-time least-cost routing in the back of cloudy Beetle Citrix has sold WAN optimisation kit for ages, but hasn't pushed its HDX technology far beyond its base of application and desktop virtualisation users. Until today, when it shoved the newly-badged “CloudBridgeVirtual WAN” into the sunlight.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Danger lurks in shadow IT The mention of shadow IT can produce beads of sweat on the brow of any knowledgeable IT staff member. For those who do not know, the term covers any company systems and services that are not procured by the IT department.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Slap on the wrist for his Thunder-balls-up General David Petraeus – the former head of US forces in Iraq and Afghanistan and briefly the head of the CIA – has been sentenced to two years' probation and fined $100,000 after admitting leaking America's secrets to his lover.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Plummeting BTC only good for laundering cash, not spending RSA 2015  The falling price of Bitcoin is forcing ransomware masterminds to convert the crypto-currency as soon as they can. Rather than holding on to their ill-gotten BTC, the crims are simply laundering the ransom money as soon as possible.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
* About 10 per cent missing from this time last year Microsoft weathered a difficult third quarter of its fiscal 2015, and despite some encouraging signs of growth in the cloud, its sales were dragged down by dwindling demand in the consumer sector.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Missed analysts' expectations again. How healthy is Mountain View's cloud biz? Google missed analysts' earnings estimates for the sixth quarter in a row on Thursday, despite the fact that its actual performance for the three months ending on March 31 was more than respectable.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
But dragging retail meant it lost money for the quarter anyway Amazon lifted the veil from the financials of its Amazon Web Services (AWS) cloud computing business for the first time on Thursday, and it looks to be off to a fine start for the first quarter of the company's fiscal 2015.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Upstart conference starts up with a splash near the lake Analysis  "Last year, people were surprised that Vator Splash came to Oakland, this year they're thinking 'yeah, that's about right'."…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Cable giant sees writing on the wall, cuts bait in biz gobble battle, says insider Comcast is walking away from its proposed $45bn merger with Time Warner Cable (TWC), insiders claim.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
You wait ages for a computer security bill, then two come along at once The US House of Representatives has passed not one but two computer security bills that allow companies and Uncle Sam to share information about citizens, cyber-attacks and software vulnerabilities – and removes any legal liabilities for firms doing so.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
IaaS indeed, it's one helluva PaaS-ing contest Analysis  It's probably not entirely a coincidence that Amazon, Google, and Microsoft will all file their quarterly earnings reports on Thursday. But while these tech titans wage a tug-of-war for your public compute workloads, each is relying on other sources of revenue to bankroll its cloud land grab – and the three companies have very different core businesses.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
You can change a password. You can change a PIN. Good luck changing your skin RSA 2015  Security shortcomings in the Samsung Galaxy S5 allow hackers to snaffle fingerprint data from the smartphone, researchers claim.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Political problems may yet deflate penguin-centric net coverage plan Google has posted a new video explaining the progress it’s made with Project Loon, the plan to float thousands of balloons into the upper atmosphere to provide internet connectivity for penguins.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Ferrous Hillock offers cloud backup, replication and DR Backup, replication and DR services are being offered to EMC customers by backup bods Iron Mountain, thanks to it hosting Data Domain and Avamar replication targets in its data centres.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Redundancies and FX volatility cut down profits by 48% Citrix dropped the ball in Q1 by underestimating the short-term effects of chopping hundreds of staffers as part of a company-wide restructure, and the challenge posed by the swollen dollar.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
From homemade nitroglycerine to Intel: Meet Gordon Moore Critics have had half a century to pick apart and predict the end of Moore’s Law, which marked its Big Five Zero birthday this week.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Microsoft and open-source rivals lose it in the labs The hypervisor is a commodity. VMware's ESXi, Microsoft's Hyper-V and the open-source community's Xen and KVM are all right and proper tools for virtualising workloads. Does that mean we should all stampede away from expensive proprietary hypervisors and dine on the open-source freebies? This being IT, the answer is "it depends".…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Sneaky state-sponsored snoopery can be picked up by counting HTTP packets Security researchers have developed a method for detecting NSA Quantum Insert-style hacks.…

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posted 3 days ago on the register
Fall-out from massive February data theft continues A fresh wave of scammers appear to be targeting TalkTalk customers, following a massive data theft earlier this year, The Register has learned.…

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