posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Years ago, I couldn't resist purchasing a huge, multi-colored, very shaggy area rug, and I'd like to keep using it in our main room. We need to get a runner for our entryway, but it will sit very near this rug, and I cannot figure out what color and texture will work best. I spend a lot of time in this room, and will look at these rugs side-by-side all the time. I don't want them to look awful together. Can it be done?We prefer to spend under $200, but are willing to consider up to $300 for a perfect fit. The runner should probably be 10'-12' long. I prefer to shop online even if it means purchasing a few options and returning what doesn't work, but we live in large metro area and can access lots of stores in person, too. This is the area rug. The colors in that picture seem true-to-life to me, most notably that the light green is blended enough with the surrounding blues that it's not really quite as bright as it may otherwise appear online or in the images below. Our floors are light oak, and we've tried to style neutral shades and fabrics around this crazy rug. Here is an off-center picture of the entryway, where you can see the blue-purple part of the area rug. Here is a picture of the green-ish TV stand that sits on that side. Here is a picture of the blue-ish chairs and beige-ish couch on the lime-green side, opposite the entryway. I suspect we should pick up a solid runner in one of those teal, slate, or beige shades and select a pile height/weave that is as opposite of shag as possible. Like this? Or this? Or maybe we match the shag but avoid a real color like this? I am totally willing to be wrong about all of those things. Other factors: We have cats but no kids, and this will obviously be a highly trafficked area. I don't mind vacuuming, but I don't want the runner to fall apart from high-traffic use. We already own a high-quality pad for the runner.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I've found that my baby goes to sleep easier when listening to Enya. I can only listen to Orinoco Flow so many times before I kill myself. Can you help me find Enya-like music to add to the cue?If it helps he also seems to like 'Celtic Woman' (lord help me...)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I am mildly interested in learning to read the Thai alphabet, but I'm having a hard time getting an understanding of the relationship between Thai writing and spoken pronunciation.I'm not afraid of non-Latin or weird scripts in and of themselves. I read/write Chinese at a decently fluent level, can read Korean and have at various points in my life been able to read Cyrillic, Devanagari, Arabic, hiragana and katakana script. That said, I'm kind of interested in learning to read Thai* but I'm having a hard time figuring out if the relationship between writing and spoken pronunciation in Thai is more like: 1. Spanish, where the writing <> speech relationship is bidirectional, in that: - if you see a written word, you can predict with a high degree of accuracy how it is pronounced - if you heard a spoken word, you can predict with a high degree of accuracy how to spell it (AKA why I imagine spelling bees in Spanish are pretty boring) 2. French, where speech > writing is much more unpredictable but writing > speech is reasonably to highly predictable, so: - if you see a written word, you can predict with a reasonably high degree of accuracy how it is pronounced - but if you hear a spoken word, getting the correct spelling is much more unpredictable 3. English, where both speech > writing and writing > speech are relatively unpredictable, so: - if you see a written word, there are nontrivial odds you will mispronounce it (like how I thought that segue rhymed with "league" for so many years) - and if you hear a spoken word, getting the correct spelling is more unpredictable (hence why spelling bees are interesting in English) If Thai is more like 1 or 2 then I'd be happy to take a crack at learning it. If it's more like 3, however, then I'm not really invested enough in this project to make it worth it. Anyone who can shed light on the situation?</> *Not really germane to the question, but the reason is that I am embarking on learning to cook Thai food and I find it helpful for purposes of shopping in markets and understanding the names of dishes and ingredients to be able to read the script.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Explaining White Privilege to a Broke White Person... "This is not said to make white people feel guilty about their privilege. It's not your fault you were born with white skin and experience these privileges. BUT, whether you realize it or not, you DO benefit from it, and it IS your fault if you don't maintain awareness of that fact."

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My lovely gf wants to switch careers to the medical field — and I want to help her —but we could use an overview of what positions there are. She's been a part of the aesthetics industry (hair color, waxing) for a few years but she doesn't always love the work, wants to do something that feels more important, and is becoming frustrated with the limited salaries. She's interested in working more in the Medical industry — thinking more along the lines of a office filing up to radiology technician, or possibly even nursing. There are so many positions hidden in those fields we'd love to know more. Is there some way to get a birds eye view of that industry and the jobs that are there, the training that's required, and the potential salaries?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
So, I started dating a strong, motivated, wonderful woman a 8 months ago. we went official and the nightmare begun. She has a wonderful daughter with her ex, they broke up 2,5 years ago roughly, and as it turns out, her first relationship afterwards tanked because of his calls that came in every other day where he's very verbally abusive, calling her names, pushing her wish for a core family etc. this behaviour has begun again. (disclaimer: this is not about me or my feelings.)so looking back the past six months since we became an official item, he's called her every other day, putting her down and being abusive. I've been very supportive of her through all of this but she's gone back to him three times due to feeling so fatigued that if she just gives him one more chance he'll change. i've read all the threads on abusive relationships and i feel i have an inkling of the mechanisms involved. Now the systematic abuse she was put through that led to the breakup in the first place is that he: * was very verbally abusive * slapped her around now during our time together and from what i've understood from her other relationship after the breakup is that he calls her and is very verbally abusive, and when her mother has tried to talk to her about this, she says that they have a "special bond" together that nobody understands. the ex is basically, behaviour wise, a carbon copy of her father. as long as she does what he wants, when he wants, she's free from it, but as soon as .. yes well. she has a few triggers that i've noticed these include the wish for a core family i.e the ex, herself and the daughter. that she thinks he's willing to change because he's being nice towards her. multiple times when it has been his week to have the kid he's called her during the day and yelled at her, she's put it on speakerphone and i've heard the daughter screaming and crying in the background. Things got really bad around new years eve when he called her drunk, telling her that if she didnt leave me he had lawyer friends who had told him that he could get full custody of the kid, and that he will, if she doesnt leave me. And that if I didnt leave that night, before morning, he would come and take the kid. well, she didnt want me to leave, so I stayed, he didn't come at the time he said so i went out to get some lunch for us, when i came back i saw his car driving away. he had amongst other things frightened her to her core by yelling obscenities and planted a foot through the door. she's been in contact with the domestic abuse hotline, with the police, with a secret swedish forum for victims of domestic abuse. then he started putting her down again a day later, telling her that he knows she's mentally ill and will do anything to keep the kid away from her. i've put my lawyers at her disposal so she knows that he's facing prisontime for his actions if she decides to press charges, and that he doesnt have a legal leg to stand on with his threats. she still hasnt pressed charges. she has also now gone back to him again, the motivation being "i cant make him understand what i'm saying, so i have to show him that we dont work in a relationship" he has already lied to her about going to anger management (he's not, i checked up on where he says he's going, and it's just a MRA holdout coffeeshop org) she tells me she loves me, she keeps texting me every day, i've made it clear to her that i love her daughter and her unconditionally and will be there for them no matter what. she also drops by from time to time (pre-announced) since she feels safe around/with me. we have an agreed upon keyword she can text me if things get threatening. I have also been told by her that she needs me, that she feels she's just hurting me and wants to let me go, etc etc. i'm not looking to win this for myself since at this point i'm not selfish enough to think of a relationship. i'm looking to get her daughter and her out of this cycle of abuse so that they can get a semblance of normalcy and I need concrete tips on how I can accomplish this for them.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Twice in the last 6 weeks, our car wouldn't start without a jump. Rest of time it's fine. Should I buy a new battery or is it something else?We have a 2013 Honda Civic that we bought as a certified pre-owned a little over a year ago. About 6 weeks ago my wife tried to start it and nothing happened. She didn't check lights or do any other battery tests. A friend with cables jumped the car and since then, the car has been fine. This morning she was in the car for about 15 minutes with the engine off but radio on and when she went to start it, nothing. Another jump and for rest of day car has been fine. I assume I need a new battery but curious why car was seemingly fine for 6 weeks. Could this be some strange intermittent drain on the battery that I need to track down or should I simply start with buying a new battery and see what happens?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Do wrist-based optical heart rate monitors work on dark skin?All the cool wearable fitness googads (such as, for example, the Apple Watch, Fitbit Charge HR and Fitbit Surge) seem to use an optical heart rate monitor that uses "LED lights [that] reflect onto the skin to detect blood volume changes." (source) Nifty! It's like we live in the future! But I can't seem to find any information on whether this technology actually works for black folks. I've seen a couple mentions of how the technology *might* have trouble with darker skin, but nothing about how dark, and no real discussion by actually black people about how well it works for them. I'm more a Michelle than a Barack and I'd really love to have accurate heart rate readings from a device on my wrist (as opposed to the chest based ones which work fine for me, but ugh). Can I?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
The "world's largest ship" is named after a Nazi war criminal. Unsurprisingly a few people have a problem with that.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I was going to buy an IKEA bookcase, but I looked at the instruction manuals for all the ones I'd like to get and they all have a thin, fake-wood back instead of a real wood back. I think this looks a bit corny, and I've seen thin backs get absolutely destroyed. Target's bookcases aren't any better. I'll buy a bookcase like this if I have to, but - are there any places that sell relatively inexpensive bookcases with actual wooden backs?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"I played a soldier confronting President Lincoln in the film Lincoln, and I say to him, in the winter of 1865, 'When are we going to get the vote?' and then there I am, 100 years later, depicting Dr. King, alongside the very same actor, Colman Domingo — we confronted President Lincoln together — we are now in a jail cell, asking for the vote again, in 1965," Oyelowo said in an interview with BuzzFeed News. "I've played a preacher in The Help, I played a fighter pilot in Red Tails, I played someone who was in a sit in, was a Freedom Rider, was a Black Panther, then goes on to be a senator in The Butler. They're all characters that took me on this journey through what it has been to be a black person for the last 150 years." Oyelowo stopped, paused, and corrected himself slightly here. In nearly every role he's taken on since he arrived in the United States, he's portrayed the sojourn for what it's like to be a black American for the last 150 years. Does the cultural disconnect help actors like Oyelowo portray black American heroes without deifying them? Oyelowo to the BBC: "The actor believes it may have actually served the production to have non-American actors because they weren't that familiar with King and didn't bring any baggage with them." Carmen Ejogo to Reuters: "I think being British has been very helpful to me because I didn't go to school learning about Coretta as being the most important female in black history ... I was able to embrace the full scope of the woman, the frailty, the good and the bad, and recognize ultimately that I wouldn't be doing her a disservice by presenting those things, but I would be doing her a favor." And the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Or does it help for actors to still feel connected by a common history? Chiwetel Ejiofor on 12 Years a Slave: "My heritage is that I'm Nigerian, and hundreds of thousands of Igbo from the east were taken out of Nigeria and brought around the globe, but specifically to Louisiana and the south of America, so I feel connected the experience," he said. "I feel connected to the history, to the reality of it. I feel that once we – if we're constantly trying to separate each other then we're missing the point." How much does the lack of UK roles contribute to talented black actors moving to America?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Maybe ten years ago I read about a trilingual narratives project. The person who created the project had people who spoke at least three languages write a short personal narrative in each language and then go through each one and choose the "best" word for each idea, creating a custom language unique to their experience. I have searched high and low for any reference to this project and keep coming up dry, so I turn to you, MeFi. Has anyone heard of this project? In the event that I dreamed it, I call dibs. (I'm pretty sure I'm not smart enough to have made this up, so it's got to be out there.)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"Sponsored" by my husband: Why it's a problem that writers never talk about where their money comes from.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
What is your recommendation for a wireless printer? We want to be able to send jobs to the printer directly from our Ipads.I have a first generation Ipad, in case that makes a difference; Mrs. W has an Ipad air. We don't really have a price range in mind, but obviously we would like to get as good a deal as possible. We would just be printing Microsoft Word documents, PDFs, photos, and coupons. Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Wife and I are planning a Scandinavia trip, mostly wanting to see Sweden & Norway, but wouldn't mind working in Denmark and Finland, time permitting (12 days). We want to see some of the cities (Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen) but also really want to see some of the way-out stuff up north, the hidden gems. Any recs on companies to work with, places we simply cannot miss, any kind of cool day cruises (boats!) and maybe most importantly, some real out of the way stuff that shines?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
We're trying to plan a honeymoon and are broadly looking for something that may take us from Madrid to Casablanca. Any travel advice, pointers, or warnings?We'll have about two weeks and we're interested in Malaga, Seville, Gibraltar, Casablanca, Fes, Marrakesh, etc. Where would you go and what would you do? I have a gazillion Hilton points but they don't seem to have much in the area. Also, is August a terrible time to go there? Trains preferred to planes. I'd rather spend 4 hours on a train than 1 on a plane for scale.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
How can I better track specific parts of my life with an app or spreadsheet?I've been tracking a few things (biking, exercise, and period) in the front calendar section of my Moleskine planner for years with color coding circles on the dates. I often don't have it with me, or the right color pens and was wondering if there was a better way to do it electronically. The most convenient way would be with my phone. Some things I will always track (period) but others are for medical reasons (does stress or coffee play into my heartburn?), and some of it is for fun (how many days did I bike this year)? I have looked at different apps/services on iOS recently but haven't found the total package yet. Being a visual person, I like to see some sort of calendar view of this data. It would be awesome if I could also depict the data on a graph (perhaps my moods in relation to my period, for example) to see correlation to help get me to change my life. There are tons of period trackers but they don't track much else (and so much pink!) and there are well designed personal data trackers like Reporter but it doesn't seem to show the kind of visual calendar I'm looking for and seems a bit limiting although I haven't tested it yet. 1. Is there an iPhone app that does this or I can hack to do this? 2. Is there a better way I can log the data in a spreadsheet (Numbers, Excel, Google Docs) to show this data multiple ways? Here is a screenshot of the very basic spreadsheet I've worked up which I like because it's simple, colorful, and shows the month as a calendar. However it is only colored boxes, not data, and can not be used in charts or even to tell me how many days I bike in the month or year. I'm a fairly basic Excel user so I'm not sure the best way to set this up. As a visual person I like the "prettiness" of Numbers over Excel but I'm flexible. What suggestions do you have to make this data work for me in the way I want?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Did Shostakovich really get credited as a woman for a film score he did, or does someone on Wikipedia just not understand Russian grammatical case?On the chronological list of Shostakovich's works on Wikipedia, someone claims that his score for the film The Girlfriends was "credited with [sic] a feminized Dmitriya Shostakovicha." That's amusing if true, but the only source is a screengrab in this link, and I think what that actually shows is his name in the genitive case, indicating authorship ("Music by Dmitri Shostakovich"). However, my Russian is close to nonexistent, and I want to confirm that I'm right before I change it. Can anyone help? (I realise this is a very basic question, and I apologise; however, no one else on Wikipedia seems to have picked up on it, so ....)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
L. Young & Da Youngstaz get funky! An amazing a cappella version of the already amazing funktastic anthem Uptown Funk. As one commenter noted: The harmonies are so fucking tight that molecules couldn't get through that shit, osmosis would be impossible. I'm so impressed I can't even metaphor straight anymore.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
During around 2002 or 2003, I heard an interview on NPR, and the woman embodied several women in one. I kinda also think a woman did this around her work in Katrina as well, she interviews multiple people and then acts out what they say in a play. What I am talking about is a women who invoked women of different backgrounds and nationalities, I think this took place, or the characters rather were based in New York city. It was very fascinating. It could have been on fresh air, not sure.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Emily Balcetis did a TEDx talk about exercise, and all I could think about was how awesome her dress was. I tried as many searches as I knew how, but couldn't find it. I'm looking for any info, maker/designer/brand, store, type, facimile, pretty much anything would be interesting to me. Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Anime Eyes with MAC- A how to.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
A massive gallery of Incredible Optical Illusion Art by Robert Gonsalves

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for the name or style of a particular shirt material.I've only seen it on ladies' clothes in the store. The material makes a regular shirt or tank top look like a child's sized t-shirt, but when you put it on it expands to normal size. The material, when not being worn, looks extremely wrinkled, but it's a very uniform wrinkle. From a distance it sort of looks like tiny flowers. I can't even find any example pictures because I don't know what to search for.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Hilary Mantel on St. Gemma Galgani, St. Therese of Lisieux, and "holy" and secular anorexia, stigmata, and hysteria. "We can see, as 'Catholic neurologists' of the time did, that Gemma's symptoms are a representational strategy. They are an art form and a highly successful one; they are also (possibly) the product of mental pain and distress turned into physical symptoms. . . . When we think of young adults in the West, driven by secular demons of unknown provenance to starve and purge themselves, and to pierce and slash their flesh, we wonder uneasily if she is our sister under the skin." (warning: gruesome) "'They don't want me living,' she said, 'but they'll have me when I'm dead.'" . . . "St Maria Maddalena de' Pazzi lay naked on thorns. Saint Catherine of Siena drank pus from a cancerous sore. One confessor ordered Veronica Giuliani to kneel while a novice of the order kicked her in the mouth. Another ordered her to clean the walls and floor of her cell with her tongue; when she swallowed the spiders and their webs, even he thought it was going too far. Scourges, chains and hair shirts were the must-have accessories in these women's lives. Eustochia of Messina stretched her arms on a DIY rack she had constructed. St Margaret of Cortona bought herself a razor and was narrowly dissuaded from slicing through her nostrils and upper lip. St Angela of Foligno drank water contaminated by the putrefying flesh of a leper. And what St Francesca Romana did, I find I am not able to write down. . . . We denigrate the female saints as masochists; noting that anorexic girls have contempt for their own flesh, we hospitalise them and force-feed them, taking away their liberties as if they were criminals or infants, treating them as if they have lost the right to self-determination. But we don't extend the same contempt to pub brawlers or career soldiers. Men own their bodies, but women's bodies are owned by the wider society; this observation is far from original, but perhaps bears restatement. . . . It ought to be possible to live and thrive, without conforming, complying, giving in, but also without imitating a man, even Christ: it should be possible to live without constant falsification. It should be possible for a woman to live – without feeling that she is starving on the doorstep of plenty – as light, remarkable, strong and free. As an evolved fish: in her element, and without scales." . . . "The world gets harder and harder. There's no pleasing it. No wonder some girls want out."

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