posted 3 days ago on metafilter
When I was younger, I somehow got the message that having acne, thin hair, tendency to gain weight, being emotional-- constituted some sort of moral failing. I spent years feeling like I had to apologize for my ugly existence. Now I'm learning that those aspects of my appearance were symptoms, not reflections of the fact that I was an all-around inferior person who didn't take good care of herself. I thought I'd be glad to get a diagnosis, but instead I'm upset and not sure where to go from here.I'm on the cusp of being diagnosed with Cushing's or PCOS. I feel down about myself. As the differential narrows, instead of experiencing relief, I find myself frustrated with how this situation serves to highlight the years I've passed, totally uncomfortable in my own body (see previous). Now, I've had a very good life overall. But it's weird to look back and realize how much I must have limited myself in various ways because of this internalized self-loathing. In addition, I don't feel very optimistic about treatment. After this diagnosis is finalized, then what? Going on estrogen/OCPs is going to only make me gain more weight, right? I find the idea of low-carb or "paleo" emotionally exhausting (I am not a fan of the "healthier-than-thou" undertones). If I instead have Cushing's, I guess the treatment would be different, so we'll have to see about that. Even as I'm waiting on the diagnoses, I'm getting very down on myself. The image PCOS/Cushing's conjures up-- the infertile, hirsute, balding, pimply, anxious, dysphoric female with ample abdominal fat-- is the antithesis of sexy. (Not that I care about being sexy, of course, but the fact that I had to nervously add this disclaimer speaks to my sentiments on that topic, right?) I feel like PCOS is basically my body's way of telling me, "you're too fat to function," even though I am not overweight. Why do I feel this way? What is the missing step in my thought process that I need so that I can be more positive about my diagnosis and this whole situation? My take on this is that this combination of suddenly being aware that my symptoms are real and have made such an impact on me over the past few years, plus the idea that treatment might not be completely effective even after the uphill climb ... makes me feel terrified that I might be "stuck" in this position such that I might instead have to work on actually confronting the self-loathing as opposed to side-stepping it via modern medicine. I would love to hear your guidance on how to approach this in a more mature and positive way. Anecdotes would also be appreciated.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I am an idiot who cannot count to three or read a calendar. As a result, I completely missed the July window to buy international tickets for the Studio Ghibli Museum for a date in early October. I know I can buy through bridge.jpn, who will grab tickets for me from Lawson. However, they only sell October tickets starting from 1 September. Is this the earliest October tickets are available from Lawson?I ask because l-tike (click the yellow button) seems to indicate that tickets are available now (in July) for September, which makes me think October tickets will actually be on sale from 1 August. I'm a bit worried I'll try to order tickets on 1 September only to be told that locals snapped them all up the month before. If the tickets for October are available from Lawson sooner than 1 September, is there anywhere else I can buy them sooner?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"Mossariums are simple, low maintenance and fun. They're durable and will last a long time. You can get moss from your backyard, from your favorite trips, or delivered in the mail. Here's all you need..." From Mefi's own jessamyn. [via mefi projects]

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"I was very much into Freud and Jung when I was writing those books," he says. "The whole point of Elric's soul-eating sword, Stormbringer, was addiction: to sex, to violence, to big, black, phallic swords, to drugs, to escape. That's why it went down so well in the rock'n'roll world." - Michael Moorcock at 75 on his work, autobiographical fantasy, and why he thinks Tolkien was a crypto-fascist.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My 6 year old daughter asked me this today: "Mommy, [therapist] said the police are our friends. So if I get a ticket I wont go to jail right?"Some background My kids (3 girls - 3, 4 and 6) have been learning about occupations. Well, my 6 year old has been learning about occupations because it's part of her ABA therapy - she's on the autism spectrum. Her sisters naturally have been learning alongside her. Also - we're black in a neighborhood where we definitely stand out. Demographics are mostly upper middle class white/Indian/Asian (we live in a tech surburb). Anyways, that got me thinking. How do I explain this to them given the state of policing of blacks in the US? I definitely do not think of the police as my friends. I've never been in trouble with the law. However, given recent events, I'm really NOT ready to trust my life or the life of my kids to the police. How do I have "the talk" with them at a level they can comprehend? I do not want them to be afraid of the police but I do want to communicate that they cannot trust the police. This is extra hard given my daughter's diagnosis, since she is being taught to reach out to "safe adults" when in distress. Please help me before I up and repatriate our black behinds to Antartica! Oh - I told her and her sisters that i'd get back to them with an answer shortly.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have a three mile commute to work. On public transportation it takes 45-60 minutes. On a bike it's under 20, but I don't ride every day because biking hurts. Please help me get pointed in the right direction for cycling comfort!I am 31, male, fit, 5'6"/165 lbs, and a confident urban cyclist, but I can't seem to escape from saddle discomfort on any kind of bicycle. I have tried bikes from road to fully upright Dutch-style (and Hubway bike-share bikes), and I after some time (from 2-20 minutes, depending on the bike, the saddle, and what I'm wearing) I end up with painful stinging, sometimes followed by numbness, in my most sensitive area. More upright bikes seem better but it's highly dependent on the fit and saddle. Sometimes the stinging doesn't come until after riding, and it can last for a day or even several days if I really overdo it. The worst pain seems to come when I quickly spin my legs to get up hills. I try to stand up as much as possible and distribute my weight across the bike when I ride, which definitely helps, but can put stress on my wrists. A urologist I saw basically told me, "bikes are bad for men", which was not helpful. I have tried so many saddles I can't even keep track, including two weird noseless ones (ISM Sport and "Ergo, the Seat"). The noseless ones were some of the worst I've tried, and they also transferred so much weight to my wrists that I had pain there. Padded bike shorts don't seem to help much. I've also spent quite a lot of time tweaking saddle height and angle, but unscientifically. I currently own a Specialized Sirrus, "Small" size frame, but I'm willing to get a new bike. Every other aspect of the bike is secondary to not having pain. So, my questions are: 1. In a situation like this, is comfort actually achievable on a standard (non-recumbent) bike through fitting and saddle choice? 2. Where around Boston should I go to get a commuter-oriented fitting? The bike shops I've been in have all basically said "get a fitting." One tried to sell me a more expensive one-size-up version of the bike I already have and then get fitted on that. Most of the shops around here seem focused on racing/performance, so I'm not sure how well they would do with me. 3. If a regular bike isn't going to work for me, can a recumbent actually work for urban riding? What sort of recumbent might work? Where in the area can I try it? If you've gotten this far, I thank you, and I'm looking forward to your advice!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I am currently searching for housing on Craigslist and have found some really good places and gotten good responses from them. The one thing that determined whether people responded was if I reached them on their cell phone or could text them. Those who permitted you to contact them via the craigslist-coded email almost never respondedIs there a way to search for housing, in say Boston or NYC, for rooms shared in such a way that it will seek out those listings where the preferred method of contacting the individual includes a phone number or is hidden behind a "Show Contact Info" link.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'll having a spell of PTSD triggers stress induced nausea and a lack of even being able to stand the sight of food without feeling sick. I'm also maybe getting a double whammy from restarting Paxil. What GF foods can you think of that I can use to put some calories into my body until such situation gets resolved?I have Celiac's so can't go for my comfort bland crackers. Right now only the smell of blueberries is tolerable. I've managed to get smoothies down that I got from the store and a few tablespoons of broth. But I'm worried about the 10lbs of weight I lost this week. I need to find ways to get calories into my system. Especially in public where the anxiety is triggering major dry heaving. What cheap GF snacks can I carry that would help? Normally I'd be saltines and toast and tiny bites of cheese but GF bread is still disgusting to me and I'm having a hard time with dairy. How do I make myself eat when I can't even think of any food that tastes good. I am setting an alarm to at least try to eat. Forcing myself to drink water even tho it makes me nauseated too. I have a doc appointment in two weeks to follow up the reason for going on Paxil again and can get an anti nausea med that works for me then. I have and am working through this in therapy and the PTSD incident that is causing this. The mental health stuff is covered. It's just PTSD and starting a new medication combined nausea from hell. Thanks again.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
At Home at the End of the World: The Long Defeat of Mike Mignola's Hellboy

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Help! Two of my dearest friends have movers coming in the morning, but they're both incredibly sick with the flu. Can anyone recommend a great housecleaning service that will help them out on short notice? They're in Harlem below 125th St., and the recommendations we've found so far don't cover their neighborhood. (Any other moving-while-terribly-ill advice appreciated, too—I'm half a country away or I'd be there doing it myself!)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
7 months ago I bought a Sony A7II DLSR camera. Though I knew there was a steep learning curve going in, I still haven't mastered the thing. I need some resources (hopefully a class) that will allow me to learn how to take non-grainy pics with this camera.To date I have purchased a guide book on Amazon and bought Gary Fong's visual guide to the camera features. They have been only slightly helpful. I am having problems getting the autofocus to work correctly every time and getting the auto ISO to produce non-grainy low light pictures. I could run the whole camera in automatic mode but I didn't buy this camera to do point and shoot. Nikon offers classes, if Sony does I can't find them. Please help.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
'I'm No Longer Afraid': 35 Women Tell Their Stories About Being Assaulted by Bill Cosby, and the Culture That Wouldn't Listen (trigger warning: sexual assault) SL longform New York Magazine

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Seminal post-modern choreographer Sally Gross has died at 81: "Because that's what we exist on, is the breath. It's the inhale and the exhale that guarantees us that we're living. And it's only because we're alive that we can even take on the idea of performing." In the early 1960s, while she was dancing with the Judson group, she began teaching a class in movement, largely for women, that met in her apartment. It continued for more than 40 years with some of the same participants. "I had done lots of things that I thought were really appropriate for people who were nondancers but wanted to dance," Ms. Gross recalled in 2001 about the genesis of the class. "Wanted to move, more than dancing. I think about myself the same way, as moving. Sitting, standing and lying down. Everybody at that point was probably in their 30s and they could do a great deal. I was there to push them. Many of them had had children and just needed to feel as good as their kids felt." A lifelong New Yorker, Gross was featured in not one or two but three documentaries in her later years. You can also see her in Kerouac's 1959 Pull My Daisy or here, sitting on a pile of mattresses with some of her friends. Paulson: That's life, those four things? Gross: Those four things. So, walking then becomes running if you do it a little faster. It becomes leaping if you take it off the floor. So that's the way I begin when I start working with people, whether it's a mixture of performers or not. And I do this with the dancers all the time who I work with. I do it with myself. Just yesterday, a woman who is a writer who knows a lot about movement said "I've been spending too much time in a chair, I need something to get me moving. What should I do?" And I said "Work with the Four Dignities." Because every change you make is a change, even the most subtle. So if you're sitting and you simply turn yourself to the left or the right, or you move an arm, you've made a change and you've moved a part of the body. So how do you go from lying down to sitting up? You don't have to do it quickly, you don't have to do it slowly. But then you could decide that you want to do it quicker and slower. You get the body flowing and the movement flowing, and then you can take it up on your feet. Then you can do the same activities lying, standing, sitting, and walking on your feet. So, if you say to somebody "Lie down" and they're standing up, they'll probably tip over. Well that's fine, that's lying down. That's where I begin everything.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
You were once a novice hiker and camper. You loved easy 2-3 mile day hikes, but you wanted to up your game. How did you do that? What made you an avid and great hiker/camper. What training, locations, products etc? Local context is Missouri State Parks.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My friend and I are headed to Montreal for 4 days in August and would like some tips on what to see and do. We've got the usual stuff down but are looking to add some more (less touristy) things to add to the list.So far we have the following things planned: 1. Notre Dame Basilica 2. Botanical gardens 3. Mont Royal 4. Old Montreal 5. Maison du Jazz We'd like to add some restaurants/bars into the mix but really have no idea where is worthwhile. Also, are there any other interesting and unusual things to do that most tourists overlook? Thank you!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law by George H.W. Bush on July 26, 1990. NPR has produced a 25th-anniversary series on the ADA, The Americans with Disabilities Act at 25, which includes the following segments: From Canes To Closures, Designing With Style For People With Disabilities How A Law To Protect Disabled Americans Became Imitated Around The World In Helping Those With Disabilities, ADA Improves Access For All Why Disability And Poverty Still Go Hand In Hand 25 Years After Landmark Law Ben Mattlin, author of Miracle Boy Grows Up: How the Disability Rights Revolution Saved My Sanity penned an op-ed in today's New York Times in which he says "Back then, I was only marginally aware that I could be — or even had been — discriminated against." The late Marta Russell argued: "Those in charge settled for less than what we needed to get the results that we hoped for. George Bush used the Republican leadership of the disability movement to quiet down the grassroots, who were really hurting at the bottom. He insisted on a weak law, and he got it! Bush only extended as many rights as necessary to extinguish the fire. Many compromises were made that should have been rejected [...] The Republicans insisted that no health care reform provisions be included in the ADA." Other ADA links: Why I wrote the Americans with Disabilities Act ADA 25 Chicago NYT - The Americans With Disabilities Act, 25 Years Later US Department of Labor - Employers and the ADA: Myths and Facts The ADA previously on Metafilter: 20 Years of the ADA The Wheels of (the Department of) Justice Turn Slowly NFB v. Target: Web Accessibility and business

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
In conjunction with tonight's season 2 premier, the creators of Rick and Morty have launched what's being called the world's first Instagram game, the Rickstaverse. The game is a click-through Easter Egg hunt through dozens of Instagram accounts full of comic strips, videos, and jokes. Here's a video of Rick walking you through how the game works and promising superfans and pedants that nothing is canon. Personal favorites from the game, include the Jerrygotchi (where you can have your Jerry digipet do things like make breakfast and take a nap), the Jack Chick tract parodies Mortytracts, and video where you see how Gazorpians interact with other Plutonians and other creatures from the show. Because of the Instagram format I thought it was easier to navigate on a computer, than on the actual Instagram phone app, but otherwise it's a pretty great use of the platform, and I'd love to see some more of it from people who are using it to create their own stories, rather than as a supplement to their entertainment product. Previously on MetaFilter Rick and Morty on Fanfare Rick and Morty on Adult Swim

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
So my Mom's old came from who knows where printer has finally died, and she has requested a new one. Easy! We just got a great Epson that comes highly recommended from Wirecutter! No problem! But wait she has ....esthetic concerns.Mom's requirements - Must be white (I have bargained her down to silver, or white with some black) - Must not be too big - Must be a copier/scanner My requirements: - Must be incredibly easy to use/set up - Must work with a Mac. - Must be wireless capable. - Under $150 would be great - Mostly used for documents, doesn't have to be great at photos. I have searched amazon to no avail. Everything that looks ok I click on the reviews and they are a mess. Please metafilter, do you know the printer for my Mom?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
After spending a while researching Kindle vs. Kobo, I bought a Kindle Paperwhite. I've only had it for half a day and I'm starting to think I made the wrong choice. Help me figure out whether I should return the Paperwhite, whether I should buy the Kobo Glo, or whether I'm barking up the wrong tree entirely.I chose the Kindle because I liked the idea of being able to check out ebooks from my public library and have them magically appear on the Kindle using whispersync. But my library uses Overdrive, which means almost everything I'd like to check out is in ePub format (and this article seems to confirm that very little Overdrive content is available for the Kindle). As far as I can tell, this means I'll have to download checked out books to my computer, convert them to .mobi using Calibre, then sync (or sideload via USB?) them to the Kindle. Much as I know this'll only take me an extra couple minutes, I'd rather have a seamlessly syncing system. I already check out and read ebooks using Overdrive on my smartphone and have enjoyed how simple and straightforward the process is; am I ironically doomed to a more convoluted process using a dedicated ereader? If I'd bought a Kobo I'd still have to sideload the books (though I'd get to skip the conversion process), right? I also chose the Kindle because of the Send to Kindle feature, and the ability to sync saved articles using Pocket/Instapaper/Readability (I don't use any of them now, so have no preferences), features the Kobo doesn't seem to offer. I don't plan on buying many/any e-books new when I could own them in paper (and buy used), so I don't really care about availability of titles for purchase on Amazon or anywhere else. I'd sort of rather avoid the Amazon ecosystem entirely, but the ease of whispersync (supposing it worked seamlessly with my libraries, at least), Send to Kindle, and the ability to sync the Kindle with Readability/Pocket/Instapaper are alluring enough features to forgo my ethical qualms. I have an old Kindle DX that's not connected to an Amazon account, that I sometimes use for reading .pdfs but rarely for anything else. In terms of process, it doesn't seem like my new Kindle Paperwhite is actually any more seamless than the DX when it comes to reading library books, is it? What am I missing, amid all this? I suppose my TL;DR question is: what's the most seamless way to read ebooks from my public library? (BTW: I think one very valid answer is "get a tablet and install Overdrive," but I'd rather avoid that for now.)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have so many eggs at the moment that it's silly. Please tell me what to do.I'm house sitting for my parents this week. They have lots of chickens, that lay lots of eggs. I've just arrived and there's already a backlog of two or three dozen, and I can expect at least another six in the morning. The eggs are fresh and delicious, and I don't want to waste them. I'm also on holiday and would be happy to embark on some egg related culinary adventures over the next few days. There are two of us in the house at the moment, and a couple of friends will be here towards the end of the week. So, after the six egg omelette I'm planning on eating for breakfast, what should I do?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I take work calls from my computer, and want a solution to improve my sound that isn't a headset or Bluetooth. Any ideas?I work from home, and answer work calls through an app on my Mac desktop. (This setup is non-negotiable, and I won't be using anything other than the app + desktop for this scenario.) Right now, I don't use a headset or anything external. The call comes in, I click answer, then use the native Mac speakers and microphone to take the call. The speakers work just fine, but the inbound mic gives my voice a tinny mushy sound. I want a new solution, but I have some requirements. I don't know if my ideal setup exists. 1. I don't want a headset or Bluetooth or anything that covers my ears or touches my ears. This rules out the obvious solutions, but trust me - I don't want my ears covered or touched. (I can't stand that feeling of stuff on my face.) 2. I don't mind continuing to use the native speakers (the caller always sound great) - I just want my voice to sound better. A standalone mic is an idea, but I worry about feedback combining the native speakers + the external mic. Since many of my calls are long, however, a mic where I need to hold down a button to talk the entire time isn't feasible. I don't know anything about this type of technology, so I'm not sure if there's a total DUH! answer I'm missing or if what I want doesn't exist. Can you help? Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I am looking for some great looking rocket posters for a child's bedroom. Fictional, real, whatever. Lots of little rockets, one big rocket, whatever you think looks great.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Sometimes I wanna take you down, sometimes I wanna get you low. 'Cause you're a human supernova. I'm looking for answers from the great beyond. You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older. Oh, get off the air! I'm on the stereo, stereo. Now check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out: It's 90s Bands on TV. For a slew of prerecorded music videos from the same era/aesthetic, head over to the recently refurbished 120 Minutes Archive (previously, 2010) or the 120 Minutes Tumblr (previouslier, 2007).

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Received a Save the Date for a wedding for a couple we'd like to be less close with, but didn't receive a real invite. What to do?So, there's this super awkward couple that my gentleman and I (I'm female, not that it matters, but clarity!) are both acquainted with through a Meetup group I used to run. We used to be closer, but we've started distancing ourselves, because the closer we got, the more we saw that we didn't really care to be around. For example, the she-half of the couple (Greta?) is extraordinarily passive aggressive... Greta's catchphrase when addressing the he-half (Irving?) is, "IRVING!!! CAN YOU WASH THE DISHES *PLEEEEASE*????" Of course, in the snottiest tone she can muster. Irving, of course, is no prize himself... he's a secret asshole, presenting as super-chill and totally laid back but having a sneaky side to him that is hella lazy and dismissive of anyone who may hold a different opinion. So we moved them from Always Friends to Sometimes Friends, and made our excuses so that my gentleman could stop running a tabletop game that included them as participants (Greta had a bit of a habit of actively pouting (at age 30!) whenever things in the game didn't go the way she wanted for her character, and Irving would always make excuses about ending the game early whenever she'd get in a funk, which started happening with exponential frequency). Following the end of the game, Greta blew up at me directly when I announced my exit from the Meetup group, demanding ownership and making a huge production about why we didn't talk anymore. I snapped back at her that I didn't appreciate her making something that was painful for me (the possible dissolution of my Meetup group) into a referendum on our friendship, and if she wanted to talk to me about the fact that we weren't very close anymore, she could have chosen literally any other time. We haven't spoken much since then, and Greta hasn't brought up our last real conversation at all. We've seen one another at other events and while everyone's been polite, we haven't had much contact. They recently sent us a Save The Date for their wedding, but when it came time for the bridal shower invites, I was snubbed (I had another event that day anyway, and I actively dislike bridal showers in general, so that was no hair off my backside). Now our mutual friends have received their wedding invites, and my gentleman and I have not. On the one hand, my gentleman and I are not that into weddings. On the other hand, I think it's rude as hell to send out a Save The Date and not follow up with an invitation. Part of me wants to contact Greta and Irving and let them know that they're continuing to behave unacceptably, and if they miss us as much as they've made reference to towards our mutual friends, this is not the way to mend fences. Part of me is glad I don't have to buy them a Himalayan Pink Salt Block and Shaver for their wedding. Part of me, though, knows that the mail is not the most reliable vehicle for sending messages and maybe it got lost, and I don't want to be half of that Awful Couple that didn't even RSVP to a wedding invite (and thus lose the Moral High Ground). Also, there's that leeeetle part of me that wants to see if maybe we can be friends-ish again, maybe they'll both chill out after they've gotten married (which seemed to be a huge Point of Contention in their relationship previously), maybe this could be a way to get to the conversation I'd love to have about our fight? My question is thus... we've been plopped into an Awkward Spot by having to pick a discreet follow-up versus a discreet Total Fadeout. How to best mitigate it? Which to pick?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm using my iPod's built in voice memo tool. It's ok, but I'd like one that is entirely voice activated. That is, I don't want to have to control start, stop and other features by touching the screen. Is there one that will respond to simple voice commands? If not, how about for Android OS?

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