posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Alters of people with disassociative identity disorder who are of a different race than the host/main person: how would that even work?Both my social circles and my general media channels involve people with DID who talk about their lives and their alters, and one thing I've noticed often are alters who are of a different race than the "host" (for instance, I'm watching a Meet The Alters video by a white person with one alter identifying as mixed-race Native American and saying they have memories of that life). I'm confused as to how that would even work in a way that doesn't get into racist assumptions or not be appropriative. As a person of colour I've been part of many conversations about race being on some level inherited, not just one that can be put on whenever. On some level it feels very much like Rachel Dolezal, or actual people I've seen who are all "I can't be racist I was Black in a past life". Where are their notions of being XYZ race coming from? What is it based on? At the same time, I don't want to dismiss alters's existence off hand. I'm aware that what I'm asking is on some level ableist. Alters are also often of a different gender or age or physical appearance, but the different race thing is throwing me off more, especially when they talk about having memories of their experiences with that ethnicity, which - how? I asked a close friend who has DID about it, but he's White and did say they can't really speak about that. I don't really know of any people of colour with DID to ask. Have any POC with DID talked about this before? Are there any that may be open to being asked?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
My Gmail account receives email from two email addresses. Unfortunately I get a lot of mail sent to the Gmail one even though I never give it out. Since I can't disable the address, should I move email sent to the Gmail address (and only the Gmail address) to the bin or spam?I have my own domain and email alias which redirects to a Gmail inbox and Gmail is configured so that my Gmail address is never seen or used by me. I have never given out the Gmail address. However that doesn't stop other people from handing out my email address out as their own. As a result I get a lot of personal mail, mailing list content and bills. After a year of being polite and chasing the people down, I'm fed up of idiots giving out my email address so I've automatically redirected anything addressed to the Gmail address to the bin. This works great. However I'm wondering if I should redirect to spam instead? Would that be better or worse?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I've been on Abilify since January, when I was about 150. It worked immediately, which was awesome. Now its efficacy has sort of plateaued... But I weigh 170 and counting. I feel a little like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause during his transformation into Santa. Psych says, eh, not a typical side effect. I say, mmm, sure Jan. Did you gain weight on Abilify, and if so, was it the kind that goes away, or the pernicious kind that sticks around?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Recently, I've been getting very little work done, despite an abundance of it to be done, and flexible, reasonable working conditions. How do I escape this rut?I work remotely as a software developer, often in a (very) different timezone from my coworkers. We don't make much contact beyond text updates in our project management app—which I like, being a pretty reserved introvert. The work is moderately challenging, but not enough to have made me feel overwhelmed in the past couple years of this job. I know intellectually that I should work. I've reasoned with myself countless times, threatening myself with what will happen if I don't get enough done. But... Many of the times I sit down and start looking at a ticket or think about some code, I feel this dread in my throat or my stomach. Then I do anything to avoid working, even averting my gaze from my work laptop. "I'm going to rest and start working once I'm less tired." (I slept in, and didn't.) "I'll watch this YouTube video and start working at [the next half hour mark]." (I did, but then started another one.) Even if I am working, I get frustrated and distracted more easily than before when doing something proves to be tricky. Breaking down the project and enumerating in more detail what I have to do only helped a bit, before I started looking at the list and feeling down about how little I'd accomplished after X amount of time. As you can imagine, this causes problems for everyone involved. You'd think that would push me into working, but I just feel more dread. Verbalizing that feeling is hard, but maybe it's something like: "I failed them. How can I possibly make up for it, even if I deliver what I was supposed to?" I feel trapped by my own inadequacies, and I'm not sure how to free myself of this malaise.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have come into a significant amount of money, and am thinking about quitting my job. What are some of the things I should be thinking through before making the decision?I am currently working in a profession that I chose because of earning potential and a misguided notion of what the profession would actually entail. I am only a handful of years into my career, and as I suspected from very early on in grad school, this job is not the right fit for me. I find myself unnecessarily stressed a lot of the time, exhausted after work, and find the content of the work itself dissatisfying. Now, the money. A few months ago I came into over a million dollars. I haven't done anything with the money since it's come into my hands, but I am seriously thinking about quitting my job. I would like to take time to figure out what I would like to do. This might involve a few years of volunteering with different community organizations, and potentially, if it seems right, another stint at grad school. Ultimately, I would plan on returning to the work force, hopefully with a job that feels like the right fit for me and that adds rather than takes away from my quality of life. Is there anything I'm not thinking about here? Or other things I should be thinking about before I make this decision? Extra question: how do I explain to people why I'm quitting?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
In astrophotography, the longer your camera's shutter is open, the more light you get. Five amateur astrophotographers challenged themselves to capture a world-record exposure. Result: The 1060-hour Large Magellanic Cloud Be sure to click through to the "full version" (Image 1, Image 2) and then wait for the image to fully load. The image is a mosaic made of 16 smaller fields of view, which stitched together form a 14400X14200 image. That's 204 million pixels or an array of Retina Display MacBook Pro screens, at full resolution, 5 wide and 8 high. That's going to take a while to download and display. It's worth the wait. For the curious: The Large Magellanic Cloud is a satellite galaxy of the Milky Way--the second or third closest galaxy to the Milky Way at around 163,000 light years. In southern latitudes (and good, dark skies) it is visible as a faint cloud about 20 times longer than the moon's diameter. The image was made by Ciel Austral (English translation), a team of five amateur astronomers (English translation) from France. Ciel Austral owns a remotely-controlled observatory in Chile. The raw images of the Large Magellanic Cloud totaled 620 GB and required a few hundred hours of image processing to assemble the final images. Many more images at the Ciel Austral astrophoto gallery.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
We're traveling in Portugal and want to say thank you. I identify as male, partner as female, both native English speakers and we're getting conflicting information as to the use of "obrigado" & "obrigada."My understanding is that I should say "obrigadO" no matter whom I am addressing, male or female, because I identify as male. We have asked various native speakers and have gotten conflicting information. Some say I should use the gender of the person I'm addressing, ie "obrigada" for a woman, "obrigado" when addressing a man, others tell us my understanding is correct. Help! Obrigad... in advance.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
My little monsters - always innovating in the art of destroying our precious few pieces of furniture - have recently dug a hole through the bottom of the couch and enjoy climbing inside the guts to make a private crazytime leisure fort. I've temporarily covered the hole(s) with aluminum foil, but ... what fabric can I replace it with that will be tougher and more resistant to their future couch-fort spelunking?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Which software is best for backing up iPod and iPhone? (iTunes does not work right on my computer). I would love to preserve iPhone notes and photos and most importantly, my iPod's playlists. And how do I add music to my iPod if iTunes won't recognize it? Is there an alternative program I could use for that?I am trying to backup my iPod and my phone, and wanted to ask which software is best for that. I have been recommended iMazing, but wanted to ask what y'all recommend. I would love to preserve iPhone notes and photos and most importantly, my iPod's playlists. My iPhone is an 64 GB iPhone 8 model A1863. My iPod is 160GB Classic, and I've had it for at least 8 years. It's one of my most treasured possessions. iTunes does not work to backup my phone or iPod, and I can't put new music on the iPod bc iTunes won't recognize it, despite trying all the tricks of restarting...everything short of resetting to factory settings. I want to back up the iPod very much because I'm afraid it will die soon. I adore the playlists and would love to preserve them. I also would like to know how to put music onto my iPod without iTunes recognizing it. I use a Macbook Pro 2015.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Ten years after the debut of Homestuck, and 3 years after the end of Homestuck, The Homestuck Epilogues begin - following the core team as jaded young adults making sense of canon, relevance, and the aftermath of their mission. Bonus: a megathread on Reddit of the various official and fan releases in honour of Homestuck's 10 year anniversary.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I've spent my entire career (admittedly a 4 1/2 year career) working in open plan offices and it's never really been an issue until now, but we've just moved to a new area and we get the coffee machine gossip, the personal phone calls, the "let's sit somewhere an collaborate" talking, on and on and on. I would like suggestions for noise-blocking devices that are comfortable over the course of a the workday. Or other suggestions to make my desk location less annoying.I understand that noise-cancelling headphones are not particularly effective against people talking and that most of the benefit against voices is coming from the isolation, rather than the noise-cancelling. I have this fashionable set of hearing protection, which is reasonably effective, but kind of squeezes my head to an uncomfortable degree. I know there are earplug headphones which are quite likely what I'm looking for, but I'm reluctant to spend the money on something without a replaceable cable.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
The microphone on my earbuds is coming across to listeners as scratchy and quiet. How can I fix this? Or what would make an identical replacement to them (Urbanears Medis)?The short description pretty much says it: Is there a way to fix the microphone on my earbuds? If not, what's a good replacement? The audio quality for my ears is fine. When I speak, however, listeners have described my voice as distant, scratchy, and inconsistent. This happens across devices (computer, smartphones). The jack looks clean, and I've taken good care of them. This is an in-line speaker built into the Urbanears Medis model of headphone. Urbanears no longer makes these (replaced by the Reimers model, which gets sorry reviews). If there's no way to clean or repair the speaker, I'd like to get a new set that works the same way the Medis does -- where the buds sit on my ear, not in them. I'll need these for running and daily use at a computer. A microphone is essential. Traditional canalbuds are uncomfortable. Earbuds are uncomfortable don't stay in my ears without the sort of clip you can see here that holds it in my ear. If you can recommend a direct replacement, I'd be grateful. Thank you for the help.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I'm building a SquareSpace site for a family member's business. I'm good enough with the site builder for my own purposes, but am wondering what the easiest way to create a site on behalf of someone else, and then replace the existing site, is.Basically, my wife has an existing SquareSpace site. I'm working on creating a new one for her, also in SquareSpace, but I am not sure how to handle the "cut over" so that she doesn't lose any blog posts, domain information, and potentially analytics information, as well as avoid any kind of service interruption. Is there a way for me to create the site using my account and then transfer it to hers? The site will be substantially different, but we want to keep the blog posts, mainly. Once I have created the new site, is there some easy way to automatically port it over to the existing site experience without losing anything?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I wanna see how his bald head shines How the light reflects on his moustache Did you ever see Mr Holland's Opus? God Richard Dreyfuss, he fucking crushed that 1. Invocation Of Richard Dreyfuss 2. I Wanna Meet Richard Dreyfuss 3. I Need To Meet Richard Dreyfuss 4. I'm Moving On, Richard Dreyfuss 5. I'm Moving On, Richard Dreyfuss Pt. 2 6. Saddles 7. I'm Sorry, Richard Dreyfuss 8. Meeting Richard Dreyfuss 9. Goodbye, Richard Dreyfuss 10. Disco Dreyfuss Spotify Gabriel Gundacker previously

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Had numerous bites that I thought were mosquitos but they all healed and then have come back even more?? Pictures inside.Have dozens of small pink bites on ankles/elbows. They all healed but about about a week later a fresh crop of bites in exactly the same places came up. I first thought it was a rebound reaction but the bites seem new. I had a bed bug catcher at the feet of my bed (out of caution, never had actual bugs) and have caught these 2 bugs. Are they bed bugs?! I've also taken a look and do see some black specks on the bed base but could be anything. Here's pictures of the 2 guys and also one of the bed slats looking for "specs". I'm freaking out a little appreciate some clear help: -Are these bed bugs? If so what's the responsibility in NYC for renter/tenant? What do I do tonight?!

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Pepsi Plans to Project a Giant Ad in the Night Sky Using Cubesats

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have, after years of consideration, decided to quit my desk job in Seattle and find a farming job next spring. What do I need to know??I would prefer to work on an organic produce farm within a 1-3 hour drive of Seattle. I have woofed before but have no official previous experience. My qualifications are a mechanical engineering degree and 4 years work experience as a mechanical engineer (not exactly relevant :/). Looking for suggestions on where to start looking for farm jobs, red flags to watch out for, where to live while working, what to do in the off-season, etc. Would love to hear personal stories/experiences. I am 95% sure that this is the right choice, but am still open to well-reasoned arguments if anyone out there has made this switch and thinks it's the worst idea ever. I've wanted to do this for years, I haven't made the switch yet because I have been worried about money, lack of health insurance, fear of feeling isolated out on a farm, etc. but I feel that it's probably time to try now that I have some savings to fall back on if something goes wrong. I am leaning towards living in a camper van during the work week and driving into Seattle to stay with friends on any weekends/days off. Would love suggestions on how to find a farm with a good community feel so it doesn't get too lonely (I am a woman in my mid-twenties, and while I am definitely introverted I still value having people to talk to on the day-to-day).

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
What are the best radical queer political groups? e.g. Queer Liberation Front, No Justice No Pride, Free Pride (Glasgow). Any queers in the world that are some combination of anti-capitalist, anti-war, anti-fascist, anti-corporate or pro-queer liberation.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
The company with whom I had my HSA apparently cashed it out and gave it to my ex-employer. Was this even legit? What do I do now?I quit a hideously awful terrible no-good job recently. It was my understanding that I would still have the HSA account from that job. Looking on the WageWorks site (with whom I had the HSA) I see this: "What happens to my HSA if I leave my job? This is one of the best things about an HSA: it's yours! Your HSA is yours and yours alone. It is yours to keep, even if you resign, are terminated, retire from, or change your job. You keep your HSA and all the money in it, but keep in mind that there may be nominal bank fees if you are no longer enrolled in your HSA through your employer." Today I tried to log into my HSA account and found that my credentials no longer worked. I called WageWorks, and they said that the money in the HSA was cashed out and given to my employer March 16th (the day after my last day of work). They would give me no other details and told me to address my questions to my benefits department. I was never given the money in the HSA (which was north of $700) nor notified by my employer that this had been done. I've emailed HR but I'd like to hear some feedback from a neutral party since I do not trust my ex-company or what HR might say about this. My questions are: 1. Was it legit/legal for them to have done this? 2. What do I do if I don't get the money back from my former employer? 3. If I do get it back, what do I do with it then? Set up some independent HSA account? 4. How can I see the details of the contributions I made to the HSA in the 2018 tax year? I have a tax form that lists the deductions from the account, but no longer any way of confirming how much I contributed during 2018 (as separate from what my empoyer contributed, which I see on my W2). I did not receive paper statements and don't have access to online records anymore. Thanks.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have a Roku TV with several streaming channels set up, along with cable. Suddenly I can't access Amazon Prime TV. I click on either the Amazon Prime button on the remote or the icon on the home TV screen. It shows the Prime logo for a sec, then just goes back to the home screen without ever opening Prime. This is a new problem since yesterday; I've never had issues accessing Prime before. All the other streaming channels work as usual. I thought maybe my Prime account membership had lapsed, but I checked and that's still set up. Anyone else had this issue? I have tried turning the TV off and on (as well as cable, just to cover my bases), but it doesn't work. Any suggestions?I click on either the Amazon Prime button on the remove or the icon on the home TV screen. It shows the Prime logo for a sec, then just goes back to the home screen without ever opening Prime. This is new since yesterday. All the other streaming channels work as usual. I thought maybe my Prime account membership had lapsed, but I checked and that's still set up. Anyone else had this issue? I have tried turning the TV off and on (as well as cable, just to cover my bases), but it doesn't work. Any suggestions?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Today is Tax Day in America. The IRS is intentionally starved for resources, forced to make filing taxes as complicated as possible so a predatory industry can make even higher profits, focuses its audits on poor and black people, and can't recover the billions owed by the very wealthy people who push for its gutting. But if there could be a worst of all in this dismal maelstrom, it is this: American workers effectively pay some of the highest taxes in the world but don't get much in return. By looking at "non-tax compulsory payments" (NTCPs) like employer health insurance premiums, Matt Bruenig has found that American workers pay far more in taxes compared to European countries often derided by Americans for having prohibitively high taxes. But unlike those European countries, America does not offer universal welfare programs like free healthcare, advanced education, or family leave: The comprehensive measure shows that a married couple with two kids that makes the average wage pays over 43 percent of their income in compulsory payments of one sort or another. Health premiums are 26.4 of the 43.2 points. Finally, we can go back to the OECD NTCP data and compare the US to other developed countries. When we do that, we find that only the Netherlands — with its compulsory private health insurance and compulsory private pension — has a higher labor tax burden by this measure.

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I cancelled Verizon internet on the 28th of February and Verizon actually got around to disconnecting service on the 04th of March (with email confirmation on the 28th of both these things). They're now trying to charge my for the entire month of March as a "closing statement", which I'm a bit mad about. Mainly as it looks like I'm paying up for their inability to act on canceled service in a timely fashion?My guess is that my billing cycle for March began on the 1st as there's a "Balance doesn't include payments received after MMM 01, YYYY" on each previous bill. I punted the bill I received on the 14th back to them via my credit card company and it appears that Verizon isn't bothering to contest that with the CC as I've just gotten a nasty gram threatening to send things to collections. Am I really on the hook for their slow response pushing things over into a new billing period?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
What is this superbranding trend in athletic gear and clothes? It is not just Nike. Huge, huge logos on clothes, athletic shoes, jogging sets, hoodies, and some of the products have multiple logos right next to each other. It was suggested that it started because of the brand Supreme, but looking through their products the clothing they offer doesn't really have big logos like that, even if the bags and hats have their signature logo. And I am looking for a more nuanced or even academic explanation and history, possibly like the interesting one in "The Devil Wears Prada." Has anyone seen any detailed articles, even in academic journals, or in books or other publications that examine it in detail? "Overbranding", which is what sneakernews referenced as part of Nike's name for that pair of shoes, seems to firmly mean negatively overdoing it with your brand, so I just called it "Superbranding" until I learn what the actual used term is. What's the story here?

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Notre-Dame de Paris, the French Gothic cathedral on the Île de la Cité in Paris, dedicated to the Virgin Mary, has burned in a conflagration unrivalled since at least WWII, started accidentally, perhaps in the renovation work. But "spira, spera" -- breathe, and hope -- there has been no loss of life, only one reported injury, and the shell of the building appears (at this hour) to have been saved. "Cette cathédrale, nous la rebâtirons," declares Emmanuel Macron. ("The Cathedral, we will rebuild it.") Coverage at CNN -- The entire wooden structure holding up the roof is destroyed Pictures at Le Monde A stunning police drone photo of the flames from above First public footage of firefighters entering the cathedral Brief discussion from a firefighter about fighting this type of fire Preliminary reports suggest that all of the stained glass is destroyed (which is typical once the roof collapses -- if they crashing of the roof doesn't get them, the intense heat causes them to explode), including the three rose windows dating from the 1200s, which survived centuries of wars and upheavals. The historic 18th-century organ is also almost certainly a total loss. But many metal statues were off-site for the renovation and have survived, and early reports from the cathedral treasury, including several important relics such as the alleged Crown of Thorns, are encouraging and suggest most were saved. The cathedral's website, including history, art, etc. -- the cathedral's twitter

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posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I've never made an inter-state (let alone cross-country) move as an adult. What are some things we should not pack?I know not to pack candles, whatever may be on our eventual moving company's no-no list, random convention swag, and things I'd be better off just scanning (if there's time to scan). What else should go on the toss/donate list? Note, if it matters: I don't know how much packing we'll be doing ourselves vs. how much a moving company will be doing. (Because I'm a wee bit overwhelmed at the moment, I would especially appreciate specific examples and categories--beyond general guidelines like "things you can easily replace." Thank you!)

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