posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for condoms that don't leave an unpleasant flavor (or smell) on penises or vaginas.Not having babies is great! However, giving and receiving oral sex is also great, and sometimes I'd like the option to enjoy those things after a bit of PIV sex – without the aftertaste of latex or lubricant. Can you recommend a condom brand that leaves little or no flavor behind? Both lubricated and unlubricated are fine. I don't think I'm interested in flavored condoms. I am the penis-haver in this equation. Thanks!

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have just been made part time in a role I actually quite enjoy (I work in non-profits, in a relaxed, junior position after years in senior roles, so I can focus on my writing while learning more about the non-profit sector), however I am conflicted on how I feel about the decision.Positively, it will give me more free time to pursue my writing career and/or allow me to find a complementary part time position that aligns, whatever that is. However, since searching I have struggled to find a part time role that excites me, I really do not want to have to go back to freelancing or journalism (I now write fiction and I do not have the burning desire to work in media gain) and everything is a bit scattered due to the pandemic. I am wondering whether it is worth the risk of searching for another full time role and leave this one even though there is a huge chance my hours will increase later subject to funding, and that I will lose working on a great team and projects. I cannot really afford to survive on my part time hours in spite of my decreased expenditure due to lockdown (I am in the UK), as a friend suggested I use this time to focus on my writing and worry about getting another job in a couple of months while things are more settled and opportunities open up. There is a deeper inner conflict at work here too - I have this eternal struggle with wholeheartedly pursuing the creative life versus settling down with a comfortable well paid career track and a serious relationship and possibly children. I am 'all-in' person and do not feel I can do both. Can anyone provide any insight on what to do next? Thanks in advance!

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
What books should I read to help with my avoidant behaviour?I made a vow to my partner to do some work at looking at my avoidant behaviour. Right now I think that means reading books, but if there are other online resources, I'm open to that too. What are your recommendations please.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
So someone in my family has set up my grandfather to print wirelessly from his iPhone to his new inkjet printer. (ARGH!) He only prints emails to this printer, and only from the native mail iPhone app. His problem is that the type size once printed is too large. I don't believe there is a way to scale when printing from the phone. Is there way I can set his printer to scale down everything it receives? Do you have any other ideas to reduce the printed type size? Thanks!

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have a cavity, maybe, and a choice between two dental clinics which are very different.I have TMD pain which causes all my teeth to ache in sequence. I think one of them actually has a cavity because there's slightly more persistent soreness when I bite down. How urgent is this? If I do go to the dentist, I can choose between two clinics and am not sure which to pick. I'd have the first Monday morning appointment at either, and both are closed on the weekend. Clinic one: Fancy clinic that serves downtown office workers, latest technology. They tell me staff have K95s, hopefully good ones. Drawback: Clinic is relatively open, with bays for patients and lots of air circulation. Clinic two: Much less fancy, serves students and faculty at university. Have not checked with them about PPE, but I won't go unless they use K or N95s. This clinic has individual rooms for seeing patients. Drawbacks: How is air circulated in clinc? Don't know! Likely to be more crowded and they don't seem to have as good a waiting room protocol. Which is safest? I know of two people who were, like me, isolating totally and who got coronavirus at the dentist. Dentists are careful but care isn't magic. My partner is very high risk and I have risk factors myself.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have a 11-yr old Toyota Corolla, a standard transmission with 300,000 KM on it. I just recently got my mom's car, also a 11-yr old Corolla, which is an automatic and has under 100,000 km - I just put $1000 into maintenance on it. Both cars are doing fine. I would like to sell one of these cars. Which one should I sell?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I have two computers. A work computer and a personal computer. At times throughout the day I'd like to switch between them ideally through some easily triggered means such as separate button or a key combination.The twist is I already have a dock (Dell D3100) with two monitors connected. When I need to switch now I swap the usb-c input cable from my dock to the other computer. A good KVM would be well-suited for this but supporting multiple monitors, usb-c and resolutions greater than 1080p push the price pretty high. Is there a device that accepts two usb-c inputs and can toggle between them with a hardware switch (and support all the non-started usb-c things I'd presumably need power)?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
'Doing any sort of comedy so soon after 9/11 was exceptionally complicated and the stakes were no less high for The Onion. Not only was this their first issue back, but again, it was their first "New York City Edition" as well, meaning it was the first time The Onion would be available on newsstands throughout the city'. An Oral History of The Onion's 9/11 Issue.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I recently put together a pretty budget-friendly outdoor theater set-up that consists of a projector, 92" portable screen, and a single 28" soundbar. My backyard is relatively small and located on a corner lot with one nextdoor neighbor, separated by a 6 foot wooden privacy fence. How can I limit the speaker noise that carries over into the neighbor's yard?My neighbors are friendly, reasonable people that I can discuss this with. Our movie-watching is limited to Friday and/or Saturday nights and begin when it gets dark around 9pm and ends by 11:30pm at the latest. My neighbors tend to eat late dinners in their backyard, starting around 9pm. We can hear general conversation noises from them, but I'm only concerned with limiting the noise our speaker produces for this one neighbor to the left of our house--not to soundproof our theater experience. We live in a semi-urban neighborhood with standard ambient sounds like traffic/fireworks/dogs barking. I currently have the speaker bar placed directly behind the projector, and the projector is aimed at a fence facing our back alley, perpendicular to the neighbor's yard. It doesn't need to be soundproof, but something like a 50% reduction in the volume heard next door would be great. All gear is brought into the garage when not used so weather-proofing isn't important. Would it work to move the soundbar closer to the fence we share and hang an acoustic blanket from the fence? Or hang acoustic panels from something like a portable clothing rack and place the soundbar directly in front of the acoustic panels, with the acoustic panels acting as a barrier between the neighbor's yard? The soundbar is pretty robust and I feel like even if it's placed at the side of the yard all theater-watchers could still hear properly. Any other solutions that would cost less than about $100 to set up?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Hugs to Look Forward to After the Pandemic is Over (Eleanor Davis for The California Sunday Magazine) Eleanor Davis previously

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Viet Thanh Nguyen, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Sympathizer, reviews Spike Lee's new movie about the Vietnam War, "Da 5 Bloods", from a perspective rarely heard in America: a Vietnamese one. Synopsis: "Da 5 Bloods" remains a "Vietnam War" movie about fighting an American dirty war again, except that it puts Black men in the spotlight and it eliminates the worst of the anti-Asian, Yellow Peril racism that characterizes the genre. What remains, however, is evidence that while Lee means well, he also does not know what to do with the Vietnamese except resort to guilty liberal feelings about them. On whose stories get to be told: Being a victim, over and over again, besides being traumatic in real life, is really boring onscreen, and Lee understands that basing a Black story on such an experience is a losing proposition. His strategy in "Da 5 Bloods" echoes Francis Ford Coppola's in "Apocalypse Now," which he references often — reserve the starring role for American men who struggle with their own heart of darkness. In a brilliant performance, Lindo becomes a kind of Black Ahab, driven by demons until he meets his fate. "Da 5 Bloods" shows Black men as agents of their own destiny, capable of both heroism and horror, as we all are as human beings whose inhumanity is an inextricable part of ourselves. This complex subjectivity is what white Hollywood has mostly denied Black people, and it is what they deserve. But so do the Vietnamese, Laotians, Cambodians and Hmong. On this message not being a new one: But don't listen to me. Listen to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whose important speech "Beyond Vietnam" is quoted at the film's end. The fact that most Americans know "I Have a Dream" but not "Beyond Vietnam" is testimony to the depth of American propaganda, the willingness of Americans to want to feel good about the American Dream and their reluctance to confront the American Nightmare. In the American Nightmare, the severity of anti-Black racism is inseparable from the endurance of American imperialism. As King said, Black Americans were sent to "guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia which they had not found in southwest Georgia and East Harlem." He condemned not just racism, but also capitalism, militarism, American imperialism, and the American war machine, "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today." In another speech, he demanded that we question our "whole society," which means "ultimately coming to see that the problem of racism, the problem of economic exploitation, and the problem of war are all tied together." On the importance of expanding American thinking and history beyond diversifying imperialist apologia: But the true urgency here is not only for self-representation and the need to recognize ourselves so that others will recognize us, too. What is also crucial is the need to tell stories differently. "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house," Audre Lorde once wrote, and indeed, a war story that repeats a purely American point of view will just help ensure that American wars continue, only with more diverse American soldiers and ever-newer targets to be killed or saved. What kind of war story sees through the other's point of view, hears her questions, takes seriously her assessment of ourselves? Would it even be a war story? And isn't that the story we should tell? [Viet Thanh Nguyen previously]

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Victims of Chris Avellone (Planescape: Torment, Fallout: New Vegas), Insomniac Games (Spiderman PS4), Ubisoft (Far Cry, Assassin's Creed) and multiple twitch personalities have spoken out about the sexual harassment, abuse and assaults they have suffered. "The game industry is rotten from within and without. Nakedly, openly abusive of its staff as a matter of course, the stuff it actively hides and covers for consists of more personal, and more horrifying abuse."

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Every year Mobile, Alabama chooses fifty high school girls, on merit, to join the nearly 100-year-old court of Azalea Trail Maids as town ambassadors. Adair Freeman Rutledge explores the contradictions of her hometown's tradition by photographing these racially diverse 21st century teenagers wearing antebellum dresses in order to "embody the ideals of Southern Hospitality" and as a proud family tradition. All links go to the photographer's site.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
If you were a fresh college (white) grad from the midwest working as an accountant at a magazine, or a kid from Yale working as an i-banker at JP Morgan, or working in a non profit as a program manager, what was life like? Where did you live and socialize? Anecdotes, movies, articles are great. The 'normal' yuppie version of Magazine piece of this would be great.Did your friends and family think that you would be mugged and killed anytime you talked to them when you went home? How did you travel home? What was considered "no-go" areas? Did you take a car service to work? What time of night did you stop taking the subway? What neighborhoods did you go out drinking and eating? Did you bring cars to the city? Did you know anyone that lived in the outer boroughs, or even visited Brooklyn? I have this conception from movies that the perception from a specific type of New Yorker (the white educated transplant) was that the Upper East Side was kind of the green zone and alot more people met their friends at diners o dive bars, rather than semi upscale spots. From anecdotes it also seemed like driving and finding parking in areas (now gentrified) was easy. I don't know if this is true, but my perception. I understand perceptions of NYC differ greatly on who you are, what social-economic status you are, when you moved to NYC, etc. Someone who grew up in Bronx has a different idea of someone who grew up in Virginia, went to Cornell and works in private equity-- then and now. I also recognize that these perceptions are often times blatantly or subtly racist.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Ten years ago, the "Big Four of Thrash"--Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax--stopped bickering long enough to go on tour together. Watch some concerts from the tour: Slayer, Megadeth, Anthrax, Metallica.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
An overview of evolution and atmospheric changes. Why birds have great lungs and mammals don't.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I live in the US, in a state where infection rates are increasing. My school district has made it clear that we are expected to teach in-person this fall, and they are taking a few inexpensive safety precautions. My friend thinks I'm a jerk for quitting. Am I?If the COVID-19 situation stays like it is, or gets worse, I will quit my job before I go back to in-person teaching. I love my students and my work, but not enough to risk getting this disease (or worse, spreading it to family/people in higher risk groups). I have been extremely cautious about exposure in my personal life. I have savings (and few expenses), so being out of work for a while won't be a huge problem for me. When I talked to a friend about this, she was shocked that I would consider quitting. Her objections: 1. I have an obligation to the students I teach, and to their families, for whom virtual learning is a hardship 2. If I quit, the district may hire someone who is older/more at-risk/more desperate for money than me to take my spot, and that would be my fault 3. Essential workers have been endangering themselves the whole time, now it's my turn (this one frustrated me: friend is an office worker, guaranteed to be fully remote at least through the end of the calendar year, so easy for them to say) None of these objections had occurred to me. I'm a worker, and I don't think I should have to accept dangerous working conditions "for the greater good" (but then...what if nurses all said that? What if grocery store workers all said that?) Am I being a privileged jerk who feels entitled to physical safety because of my financial safety net? Am I morally obligated to go back to school in the fall?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for options for remote work for a BSN.My wife will be unable to work away from home for the next year or two. She's a BSN, from one of the top nursing institutions in the country, and has worked on a hospital floor for 6 years. We will hopefully be having a baby during this time period. She would like to have the option to work remotely, for a very few hours a week to earn some extra income. We're thinking like 5-10 hours a week. She's too overwhelmed to handle this right now and I'm just trying to figure out what her options are---this is far from my field. Thanks so much. We are in the US.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
The origin story of Mr. T's name is the best. "I think about my father being called 'boy', my uncle being called 'boy', my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called 'boy'. So I questioned myself: "What does a black man have to do before he's given the respect as a man?" So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T so the first word out of everybody's mouth is 'Mr.' That's a sign of respect that my father didn't get, that my brother didn't get, that my mother didn't get."

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
After a few days of wonky Internet I decided to do a periodic reset, and unplugged the modem and router across the house. The wifi network is still appearing, though, and phones and desktops are connecting to it (without internet), even after "forget this network", it's findable and connects. I can't ping or connect to other devices in the house, though. What's up with the "ghost" network?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
I really, really miss live journal. Is there anywhere online with that kind of feeling/community, but also, not dead?Once upon a time before the strikethroughs and the Russian acquisition and all that, I joined livejournal as a total newbie. Within days I'd joined communities related to my interests, found discussions to participate in, had other people interacting with me in a friendly way in a way that encouraged more interactions with the same person in the future, not ephemeral drive-by interactions. I was rapidly fully immersed and connected. This used to exist in a lot of places, I feel, (like deviantart used to have a thriving community, I made lots of friend on neopets of all places, there were fan forums for games I liked where I made friends...) It seems to me like all this is gone now, or, I just don't know where to find it. Communities I've joined, like tumblr, twitter, reddit, are faster paced, shallower interactions, and just unfriendly feeling. I can join for several months and still not really feel like I'm a part of the place, that anyone would notice if I was gone. Places like Instagram or twitter seem to require lengthy strategies to get the hang of and lots of marketing yourself. Places like discord are super fast paced chat that's hard to catch up on. All the places I used to like that I've checked on seem pretty dead. So where is the "old" Internet nowadays? Has it just gone extinct? Or are there corners it's still hiding in, and if so where can I join and what do I need to know to make it work?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Single link tweet.

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Do you have a multipoint bluetooth headset that you are happy with? Cannot find one that will play nice with my laptop and phone at the same time.I have already tried three or four different ones from different manufacturers, but can't get one that will work well with both my android phone and my arch linux laptop and switch seamlessly between the two. Every one of them will exhibit some level of disfunction - either it will refuse to connect /disconnect correctly when both devices are in range, or it will connect but will play no sound or capture no input. Very annoyingly, all of them will happily interrupt an ongoing call on the phone to play a half second bleep from the laptop and then stay connected to the laptop without a good way to quickly switch back - but I suspect this is an inherent multipoint problem and may not have a good solution. Do you have a headset that you are already using with a similar setup and like?

Read More...
posted 5 days ago on metafilter
Talk me through applying Raid Flea Killer like I'm 5.For some reason, although I have no pets and move each year, I always get a flea problem in my room when their season hits. Historically, I've just called exterminators, but my current roommates are uncomfortable with that, and I'd like to save some money, so I'm trying traps and commercial flea spray as an intermediary step. The instructions for Raid Flea Killer are weirdly vague; you're supposed to do all surfaces of all upholstered furniture, but nothing that people touch? Am I supposed to spray it on my bed? What about pillows? Are you supposed to do hard floors (our floor is wood veneer?). The instructions say to leave after I spray, but for how long? This would just be in one bedroom/home office with a bed and couch in it. Talk me through what you've done. (Caveats: I already know to wash my bedding and to vacuum as often as possible. I'm totally sure that they're fleas; I see them in my glue trap, I know what the bites look like, and I'd know if they were bedbugs because I'm allergic to bedbugs.)

Read More...
posted 6 days ago on metafilter
Pretty much what it says on the tin. Is there a cheap app I can use? If I can do this on garage band (which I feel like I have on my ipad) what's the basic how-to. The plus: I don't care if the sound is good. I just want to be able to sing a vocal track, then lay another over it and possibly one more. The minus: I don't think I'm super at navigating tech stuff though I'm on screens all the damn time. Like I find Audacity fairly confusing. I need a little walking-through. Thanks!

Read More...