posted 3 days ago on metafilter
It's my girlfriend's birthday, and since I can't be there in person, I'd like to get some flower delivered to her house in Petworth. Any MeFite-approved recommendations that can do delivery?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I recall having seen something on TV maybe a decade or two ago in which a female character (or a male with a very high-pitched voice) was reciting the line, "O to be in England now that April's there[...]" several times with a very exaggerated/attempted British accent ("Eauuuugh to be in EEEEEEEEEEngland..."). I don't remember much more, and all my Google searches turn up is the actual poem that the line is from. I'd like to find this again; does it ring a bell to anyone?I thought it might possibly have been from Monty Python, but I did a pretty thorough search of their canon and couldn't find it. Any leads will be much appreciated.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm starting a group that will be pursuing Freedom of Information requests (mostly under state laws, not federal FOIA) to have genealogically and archivally relevant materials released from local and state archives and governments and put online for free access. But we need a name for this new group!The group will primarily be Internet-based, with a free website and e-mail list to document the progress of our various requests under different state FOI laws. We will be providing how-to guides for other genealogists and archivists to pursue similar cases on their own initiative, and report back their results. For example, out first FOIL target is the 1908-1929 City Clerk's office marriage license and affidavits index, currently held at the NYC Municipal Archives in Manhattan. It's not available anywhere else, not even on microfilm. We want to change that. Future FOIL targets may include probate index databases that are currently only available onsite at local archives, or the New York State pre-1950 death index, which is only available on microfilms at select New York State libraries. (We'll be working on obtaining and releasing data from other states too, but New York has a particularly robust FOIL and is one of my personal interests.) Basically, for any relevant information that is not restricted by privacy laws, we want to work to have it released and made freely available, rather than requiring archivists and genealogists to trek down to a specific far-away library or archive to access the data -- or worse, having that data become permanently paywalled in a for-profit database, i.e. Ancestry.com. So...name suggestions? We could go with something like "Open Records Alliance", but that doesn't quite capture that this group will be specifically going after genealogically and archivally relevant materials, as opposed to say budget or police records. Or we could go with something a little more kitschy and fun, Justice League style. Something about "open data"? The last time I asked AskMetafilter for help naming a project of mine I got some great suggestions, so I'm hoping that happens again... Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for a wonderful woman who altered my clothes about 10 years ago. I believe she was known for fitting plus sized women well. She made some major changes to some clothes as I lost weight, and did a fantastic job. I'm back in he area but can't seem to find the shop. Does anyone remember this shop? Is it still there or somewhere else?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Tasked with choosing a digital signature software at an investment firm. Which should I go with? What should I know before I start?I work at a private investment company and have been tasked with getting our company to start using digital signature software to sign contracts and documents. Currently, everything is hand-signed and this obviously is not an efficient way to get things done. It looks like Adobe has a product (formerly Echosign) that does this, as well as Docusign. Does anyone have experience launching this in their workplace? I plan to speak with our legal person soon - what kinds of things should I go over with her? Any specific questions I should ask? Our company has about 100 employees total, spread out over several states. Digital signature software is definitely the way to go for the future. Everyone is familiar with Adobe Acrobat X and with pdfs and technology in general. We have an IT department. Any help would be appreciated!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
President Obama, blogging at the Huffington Post, announces new overtime regulations. The rule change proposed by the Department of Labor would raise the salary threshold of workers covered by overtime to $50,400, from $23,660. "The beneficiaries would be people like Brittany Swa, 30, a former manager of a Chipotle restaurant in Denver....She had a key to the shop and could make bank deposits, but otherwise spent nearly all her time preparing orders and working the cash register. She frequently worked 60 hours a week but didn't get overtime because she earned $36,000." [Washington Post] "The National Retail Federation has already voiced its opposition to expanding overtime regulations to store managers and assistant managers... "The retail industry is concerned because the expected change in wage levels could bring many store managers or assistant managers under overtime rules, taking away their ability to use their own discretion in deciding whether to put in the extra hours sometimes needed to do their jobs," the federation has said." [Buzzfeed] The rule change does not require any action by Congress. Republicans will hate Obama's new overtime rule, but they can't do anything about it. [Paul Waldman, Washington Post] Previously

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Sometimes you don't get paid at the beginning, is that okay?I have freelance opportunities to get experience in research and writing for documentary film. These things are a labour of love, and the producers themselves probably just break even on them. I feel just as passionate about documentary film, and accept the fact that you do it for love of the medium rather than to make a living. (I'm not doing it for money and expect to be working a day job obviously) When it comes to starting out, though, and working on other people's projects, I am just wondering if it is appropriate, or common, to work for free. I'm willing to do it, but I don't to be taken advantage of , if that is not the norm. In return for my work, I should get a credit in the film, right? Is this a normal compensation? Am I being a dummy if I work for free? Also, if anyone knows of film industry forums where I would be better to post this, please share.Thank you

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
How can so manylearned justices be rightwhile four be so wrong?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I've traditionally bought packs of the cheapest tube socks available. Walking a lot over the last several years has worn them out very quickly. So, I think I want better socks, but I do not want super high-quality artisanal tactical sox or what have you. I do not want to improve the quality of my life via sock purchasing. I just want to bump up to a level at which miles of use per dollar are maximized. If that means buying five $50 pairs of socks that will last 60 years, I'll do it. But I'm guessing the optimal point is somewhere cheaper.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
... the hospital. On the 16th I left my house to go to work and got a surprise phone call from my doctor to go to the ER based on some test results. Now that I've been trapped in a tiny room, sleep deprived, monitored, scrutinized and terrified for 2 weeks, how can I adjust to Normal life again?Details if anyone is interested: I have a very odd kind of Ventricular Tachycardia, in that I can have runs of 250bpm but not lose consciousness. Everyone at the hospital was Very Concerned and interested in me because I'm apparently an anomaly in that I wasn't going into cardiac arrest. But I could. I could at Any Time, was the message I got over and over (and over). They tried to control it with medication, which didn't work, so they scheduled an ablation, which was aborted when they punctured my left ventricle during mapping, and then an ICU stay, and then a different kind of medication (which is working) and they want to try another ablation in a few months, but it's in a hard spot and may not be successful. This whole experience has been traumatizing. I didn't feel bad before any of this - I got the holter monitor initially because of dizzy spells, which I tolerated well, they were just disconcerting. Now I'm constantly terrified of my heart stopping, even though the arrhythmia seems to be fairly well controlled with medication. I can still feel small short runs of slower VT (~120 bpm) which everyone feels is manageable but still scares the shit out of me. I also have pericardial inflammation from the drain so my whole chest feels heavy. I'm basically hyperaware of the fact that my heart is beating all the time, which makes me anxious, which makes me even more aware, which is not a thing that people should experience. The medication I'm on has horrible potential side effects. I'm scared of the next procedure - what if something goes wrong again? The other part is that I came home yesterday to the remnants of a life that I carelessly walked out of two weeks ago and can't even imagine being the person who casually made that loaf of (now moldy) banana bread or left her dress draped over a chair. I can't not mourn for the time that was lost and will be lost until the next procedure. I have to wear a monitor 24/7. They want me to wear a defibrillator vest. This is shallow and stupid but: I just had started dating someone I really like and now I feel broken and monstrous. I'm angry and sad; this isn't fair. I'm young and healthy and this shouldn't have happened to me. There was no reason why any of this should have happened. And then I feel guilty or like a huge whining baby because I know that people have much bigger problems. I hated being in the hospital, but when I was in the hospital I could be confident that someone was Taking Care of Things. Now I'm alone (not actually alone, I have family with me, but they can't stay forever) with all this fear and emotional trauma and I know I just need to re-acclimate but god I don't know how to do it or how long it will take. How can I feel normal again?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My psychiatrist lost his temper with me on the phone yesterday and said a lot of hurtful things. I must have deserved them, but I feel terrible. I have an appointment with him tomorrow (7/2) at 8am EST I need help figuring out how to keep my cool and understand how to be both a better patient and a better person. I apologize in advance for how incredibly long this is, and thanks in advance for those of you who read it.I have a long-standing (~4 year) relationship with my psychiatrist, to whom I am forever grateful for pulling me out of a deep, prolonged suicidal depression in 2012. He took care of me and for a long time and was very understanding, patient, and seemed genuinely pleased to have me as a patient. I have also consistently been in talk therapy during this time, also within his practice (but not with him, rather with various therapists that report to him.) I have a very long history of MDD and GAD, since I was about 14 years old. This psychiatrist also diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder in the last year, though he said I only exhibit certain traits of it (mood lability, abandonment issues) and not others (impulsivity, splitting, manipulation). This is just for your background understanding of who I am. I see a separate therapist entirely at a different practice for DBT skills treatment for the BPD. In the past couple of years, I have realized through trial and error, trauma, and extensive research (without his help, but with his understanding and support) that I have serious hormonal issues that make me sensitive to many types of birth control that have a very specific kind of progestin, and this has exacerbated my mental health issues severely. I will not go too far down that rabbit hole here, but the short(ish) of it is that in the past 3 years of being on countless birth control methods (and sometimes none at all), I've realized that certain types make me profoundly suicidal. One of these is Nexplanon, which I had to have removed recently after another 3 month ordeal with deep suicidal depression. I will be getting a tubal ligation soon, but had to go back on birth control pills in the meantime (one of the traumas I experienced recently is pregnancy and abortion, so I want to be as cautious as possible). I want to interject here and explain that during this last 3-month bout of suicidal depression, the one that ended with the Nexplanon removal, my pharmacy mistakenly gave me half of my prescription of Klonopin. I didn't notice until it was too late unfortunately, and since it's the type of drug that people abuse, I had to contact my psych for assistance. While he did call a new script in, he assumed that I had been taking more (I wasn't -- I keep strict tabs on my medication intake), and cut me off any time I tried to explain otherwise, saying that it was irrelevant and he didn't have time or energy to listen to me. I didn't feel comfortable seeing him after that. I haven't gone in since, but have continued my talk therapy. Back to the story. My gynecologist noticed that I was taking a mood stabilizer that interferes with the efficacy of my new birth control and told me to stop taking it immediately, and to contact my psychiatrist right away so I could get on a different mood stabilizer. I called the office to make an appointment with my psych, but he didn't have one available for over a week. Knowing that it would not be healthy for me to discontinue mood stabilizers for so long, I left him a voicemail explaining the situation and asking if he could call in my old mood stabilizers (that don't interact with my birth control) while I wait to see him in person. He didn't return my call. I left 2 more voicemails over the course of the next 3 days, and at this point my mood was plummeting as I felt the results of discontinuing a needed medication. I finally called my therapist and asked if she could speak to him, since I wasn't sure why he wasn't getting back to me. He finally called me back. He seemed very angry. I admit that I was crying throughout the call (quietly, but still, really horrible form on my part, but I can't control my tears). He told me he'd heard my voicemails, but had no intention of returning my calls because he saw I had an appointment with him scheduled and he didn't see any reason why my request was urgent or important. "I don't remember ever telling you to discontinue your mood stabilizer." I explained again that my gynecologist told me to discontinue immediately. He sighed and looked up my new birth control, declared that my gynecologist was wrong, and told me to continue taking the medication. He admonished me for making phone calls instead of coming in (again, I took the first available appointment, which isn't until tomorrow). He then asked me why I hadn't been coming. I explained that I was uncomfortable and scared to come in to see him. I told him that he was clearly very angry with me. He said he was definitely frustrated with me (he didn't explain why), but certainly not angry. I also said that I was scared to come in after the way he'd handled the Klonopin issue. He told me that I was projecting, and that it hadn't registered for him as an issue. "We will never know how that medication got lost," he said. And then I made a really horrible mistake. I said (and admittedly I said it very calmly, but still, it was just so horrible of me to say): "Doctor, the medication wasn't lost." And then he began to yell at me. "You know what, timory? I told you I wasn't angry and you don't believe me. I don't have the time or desire to deal with you or your problems. I'm not going to sit here and give you therapy and listen to your problems when all of your pathologies about abandonment and fear of criticism are coming out right here on the phone. You are being completely ridiculous!" Then I made my second huge mistake and (still crying, I seriously have a problem controlling my tears, and I know that is a MAJOR failing of mine) told him, also quietly but I was making an idiotic attempt to stand up for myself, that I felt even more uncomfortable seeing him after hearing him say that. He said, "are you seriously telling me that you want to end our therapy relationship right now?" I stammered and said no, no, I don't know what I want. "I'm just really not well," I said. "No, you're not!" he screamed. "And you called me ridiculous, so..." but he interrupted me and said "Yeah, you ARE being ridiculous!" I was at a total loss. I apologized profusely, and he said "apology accepted" very curtly. I told him I'd be in for my appointment. He repeated that he really thought I was "better than this" and that discussions like this need to happen in person, which is absolutely true. This man is a professional and I trust him, and I want to please him. Making sure that he is happy with me is more important to me than my well-being. I am trying to understand sincerely what I have done wrong, and to tamp down the parts of me that are saying "it's not okay for him to treat mw like this." Things to consider: I'm an unreliable narrator. Since having the Nexplanon removed, the suicidality lifted almost immediately. However, my life circumstances right now are not particularly good, and I am not in a great place in general. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night for about two weeks (I'm one of those weenies who needs 8-9 hours/night to be functional). I am prone to exaggeration and hyperbole. I had been crying throughout the phone call, so perhaps he believed that I was manipulating him. Perhaps my account here is completely inaccurate, as well? I have tried to present this objectively, but I know that my pathologies prevent that from being possible. Here is how I'm trying to handle things, but I need more help: He is only human, and I must have behaved ridiculously. I should have realized that it was totally ridiculous to have such a fear of pregnancy that I'm uncomfortable having sex with both birth control and a condom if the BC's efficacy is lowered by a mood stabilizer. I should never have stopped taking the mood stabilizer just because my gyno told me to. I should just have abstained from sex altogether until my psych was able to see me in person and never have left him any voicemails at all. Then all of this could have been avoided. It was in no way an emergency and calling him AND my therapist was outrageous, and he was more than justified in his frustration and outburst. His methods of ignoring telephone calls may simply be a form of training me to realize that my behavior is unacceptable. Yelling at me might be a form of tough love. He knows that I have extremely deep-seated self-hatred and that I put other people's needs before mine, so while every fiber of my being is screaming "everything he said makes me hate myself more!", I know he either did it out of tough love or just because I had really tested his patience so much with my abhorrent behavior that he just couldn't take it anymore. Any advice is extremely appreciated. I see him tomorrow at 8am, and I am panicking so much that I can focus on nothing else. I am trying to meditate and use the skills I've learned in DBT, but I'm really struggling.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Foreign correspondents posted to America talk about the future, and the past.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Hello from the Magic Tavern! A few months ago, Arnie Niekamp fell through a magical dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago and found himself in a strange magical land called "Foon." He's still somehow getting a weak wi-fi signal from the Burger King and so, as you do, hosts a weekly podcast from the tavern the Vermilion Minotaur, interviewing monsters, wizards, and adventurers.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for an online quizzing tool/website/etc. that is: 1) free 2) gives the test-taker detailed results & feedback on questions missed - possibly a graphical depiction 3) would be easy to use in a 7th grade classroom where all the students have access to a chromebook. Thanks for any and all suggestions! (My overall goal is to have students screencap their results to store in a digital portfolio as a pre-assessment and artifact of their initial knowledge of a topic.)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
What are your favorite rewards programs? Online and off.Having recently signed-up for ebates and Bing Rewards recently, what other reward programs do you recommend? Locally we use CVS/pharmacy a lot so we love the extracare card rewards. We also earn cashback with our credit cards. What else should we sign up for?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My nearly 5-year-old daughter has shoulder-length hair that is thin and prone to tangling. It's beautiful but she screams bloody murder and/or gripes the entire time it's being combed. Every time. I would like to have it cut shorter and/or make significant changes to the combing routine, but it's a sensitive topic, and I think my wife is a little too attached to her having longer hair than she needs to.This is typically done after a bath, with conditioner, sometimes with spray-in detangler, but ultimately I think she's in genuine pain and we need to cut her hair shorter to make the process easier, braid it every night, etc -- we need to change up the routine. My wife acts more like the daughter is exaggerating and doesn't appreciate any interest I have in mitigating the problem, like it's not my "territory." I think it's ultimately a bad thing for their relationship for this to continue. I'm getting a little fixated on my own childhood and growing increasingly aware of memories of my own parents being indifferent or selfish to my needs, and it's a painful process. It gets unbearable enough for me that I have to go to my office and close the door, put on headphones, etc, and I feel genuinely guilty about it. The thing is, my daughter *mostly* doesn't mind when I comb her hair because I spend much longer "hand-combing," gently pulling all of her tangles apart with my fingers until the comb pretty much flows through with just a few snags. But like I said, this is not "my territory" and I've had some arguments about whether my technique is genuinely less painful or I'm just taking too long and our daughter needs to get used to it. My wife clearly makes an effort not to pull her hair but it's super-fine and hard to avoid when any tangles hit the comb, but I think her indifference to the crying is unhealthy and am curious if there's a consensus of any kind on that and how best to move forward.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Witnessed a violent street crime, called 911, and described the agressor. What next?A couple months ago, I was out for a walk near my neighbourhood (in Toronto) and randomly witnessed a street fight escalate- someone was slashed. The two people clearly knew each other, and it wouldn't be a stretch to guess that both were frequent drug users (other witnesses who had a passing familiarity with the two people said the same). I called 911 on my mobile phone, gave the location and accurately described the aggressor and the victim. The dispatcher asked for my first name, which I gave. I think another passerby called the police as well. I was still nearby when the emergency response providers arrived. While I did not see the arrest, I'm fairly confident the aggressor was arrested- there wasn't time for them to get very far, and they were distinctive-looking. I am also pretty confident the victim was ultimately ok- the injuries looked unpleasant but non-life-threatening, thankfully. For me, the most unsettling detail is that the incident was witnessed by about 15 people, yet I believe only 2 of us called the police. It scares me that the neighbours- who know the aggressor- saw the attack and chose not to call in; I interpret this to mean they are afraid of repercussions for snitching. What will happen now? Is my part in this over, or will the police call me again for more info? My main concern is that I do not want to go to court and testify in the presence of the aggressor- the incident happened close to my home, and the aggressor looked absolutely batshit violent, out of control, and frankly terrifying. I already described everything I saw- there's nothing more for me to add. I believe my phone description helped the police arrest the right person; great. Beyond that, what are my legal and moral obligations? Any advice would be appreciated; thank you.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My siblings and I know that we need to talk with our retirement-age/elderly parents about their finances, end-of-life-directives, wishes, and plans for the future before they get sick or too old. So far, both parents are healthy, but we want to start the ball rolling before any crises emerge. However, the dysfunction in our family is getting in our way.Unfortunately, the state of their marriage severely impedes our ability to deal with things as a family. a) Both parents are extremely reluctant to talk to each other about major plans. Their marriage has existed in an unhealthy stasis for years, partially held together by mutual agreement not to confront anything. They basically live like separated people, except in the same house. b) Mom has not ruled out eventually leaving Dad, although Dad seems unaware of this. We've told we her we support any decision, but urged her to consider doing it before Dad gets too old. c) Mom is younger than Dad, making it likely that she will become one of his primary caretakers when he declines. She is already caretaking another relative, so my siblings and I don't want her to become a constant caretaker for him too. As it stands, it seems Dad just assumes she will take care of him. d) My siblings and I all live in different states and one is overseas. e) Mom is not emotionally ready to talk about her own retirement/aging. She insists that she's never had a chance to really live, so asking about eventual-end-of-life is going to be dicey. f) We have no idea the state of their finances. They appear to be fine, but we don't know whether there's enough money for a long term care facility, or for Mom's eventual old-age (she never worked). g) Should Mom be the first person to get sick, it's unlikely Dad will be a good caretaker for her. It's possible as one of them gets sick or old that we'd need to separate them. h) As you can tell from this anonymous post, we are somewhat scared to talk to them in general. Our upbringing was tumultuous and we were discouraged from asking questions about important issues or divulging any family secrets, even to each other. Obviously, we're adults now and still need to deal with this. i) We have no close family members or friends-of-family who can help us with them. j) As a result of said tumultuous upbringing, several of us are reluctant to move them into our own homes to caretake them there, but are ready to explore other options (move them to nearby apartments, hiring visiting caretakers, visiting ourselves). k) Previous attempts to bring this up have been rebuffed. So far, we plan to: a) do this in person. b) talk to each of them separately. c) emphasize that we're not interested in any bequest - we're worried about their future welfare. Is there a checklist for things we'll need to cover? Should we just focus on Dad now, and talk to Mom about her own plans later? Should we mention to Dad that we're concerned about Mom having to caretake him? This will probably be the first of many conversations, but we'd really appreciate any advice you might have. It's not anywhere near a crisis yet, but it's been weighing on us. Have any of you gone through something like this?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
As bread owes something to the wheat winnower, etc. So much happening in between. A letter from Ezra Pound to French critic/academic, Rene Taupin. This author's new translation, which follows this essay, illuminates the poet's views on modernism, the general concept of intellectual influence, and other curiosities from his early twentieth-century vie litteraire. Original letter in French.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have xampp installed on windows 7 but I've never been able to get apache working. When I press the netstat button it shows nothing running on port 80, the logs are completely empty and I don't see anything in the windows event viewer (although I can't seem to get it to show all events by date which it used to do by default, so I could be missing something)This is what the log shows when trying to start apache: 14:27:00 [Apache] Attempting to start Apache app... 14:27:00 [Apache] Status change detected: running 14:27:01 [Apache] Status change detected: stopped 14:27:01 [Apache] Error: Apache shutdown unexpectedly. 14:27:01 [Apache] This may be due to a blocked port, missing dependencies, 14:27:01 [Apache] improper privileges, a crash, or a shutdown by another method. 14:27:01 [Apache] Press the Logs button to view error logs and check 14:27:01 [Apache] the Windows Event Viewer for more clues 14:27:01 [Apache] If you need more help, copy and post this 14:27:01 [Apache] entire log window on the forums

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
13 prepared guitar videos. A prepared guitar is a guitar that has been modified with various objects (such as alligator clips or chopsticks) in order to change the sounds it produces. Here are videos from thirteen different musicians who use prepared guitars (including Keith Rowe and Fred Frith).

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have hired someone to work on social media campaigns for my business. How can I delegate access to our social accounts to the employee without giving the worker our master passwords and without using a paid service like HootSuite Pro?It seems access can be delegated internally with Facebook and via TweetDeck for Twitter, but what about other networks such as Instragram and Tumblr? Is there a free all-in-one solution that would help here?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
The insurance provided by my former employer ends on July 31 for my partner and me. COBRA is cost prohibitive ($1900 a month for both of us). So, now we are turning to the New York Healthcare Exchange. We need a navigator, but I'm not sure how to find a good one to help us with our snowflakes. Seeking recs and advise.While not in immediate health crisis, we are both have pretty hefty healthcare needs (he's diabetic, I'm a cancer survivor). It's important to find a plan that meets our needs and covers our doctors. Also, I've got lots of questions about how my unemployment and severance pay factor into this. I've talked to two friends who have used brokers, and neither thought their broker was great. So how do I find someone who is? I'm willing to pay for this service is that makes a difference.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Test Pilot Admits the F-35 Can't Dogfight

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"No shark repellent has ever been found to be absolutely reliable. Scientists have tried sound, bubbles, dyes, chlorine, fish poisons and copper acetate, none of which conclusively discourages a famished shark. One device that might someday be developed into an effective repellent is a mixture of lye crystals and aluminum shreds, which could give an attacking shark a fatal bellyache." --Shark! by Peter Benchley, the 1967 article in Holiday magazine that was developed into the novel Jaws.

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