posted 2 days ago on metafilter
There is a fear which is so awful I call it The Fear, and it is The Fear that someday, I will take my own life. Old suicidal ideations are resurfacing in the wake of Robin Williams' death in a pattern all-too-consistent with PTSD. Help me weather the pain of having been suicidal, and direct it somewhere better.I can barely dream of being free of suicidal thoughts. They started ten years ago, and never really left. But despite that, not too long ago I had my suicidal ideations firmly under control. It would happen about once a month, as part of my menstrual cycle, usually limited to one, black day filled with feelings of isolation, distrust, and death staring me in the face. Inviting me. Enticing me. Taunting me. I'd fight it back within the day, my anger my best ally against this sickness. I was winning, and overall my zest for life was growing, growing, growing. My suicidal thoughts felt like a relic of a different person, not a pressing reality, the barest niggling. I did not feel The Fear: I knew I had won. Things have gotten harder. My victory is compromised. The Fear has come back. This label of "The Fear" is in the wake of Robin Williams' death. I was deeply affected, and it is the catalyst for a relapse consistent with PTSD. More and more since August 11th, I feel like I am five seconds away from breaking down sobbing or flat-out panic, I feel jacked up and energetic inside, like I want to bolt, punch something, find physical pain to match internal pain, I have anxiety attacks that wrack body and mind. I am scared of forming connections with people, I fear myself, I fear the person I was when I was five years ago -- a deeply troubled person obsessed with death and far, far too knowledgeable about how to bring about one's own. For some background: four to five years ago those thoughts came to a head. Some genuinely awful events in my life made me sink into symptoms consistent with bipolarity or PTSD. For some months I thought about suicide for hours a day every day, and during that period I brainstormed deaths, looked up suicide methods in grisly detail, looked at parasuicide, completed suicide, psychology of suicide, impact, you name it. Things got better. I changed my life, got myself a social safety net, took proactive measures to give myself more control over my life and destiny, and found the right dose of some excellent medication. The suicidal ideations persisted but lost their urgency. For a long time, I looked at that period with shock that I survived. I came very close to a suicide attempt once -- it might have manifested as parrasuicide, but it was designed like a coin flip: I wanted the chance of death. I wanted it to be violent. My "solution" and conviction was met with an absolute euphoria. The memory of that violent self-hatred can still fill me with horror and disbelief at the person I was. It can make me feel physically sick, gnawing at my stomach to the extent that I don't know where emotional pain ends and physical pain begins. I do not like remembering that person. I find it difficult to forgive them. Today, I do not want to die. But since Robin Williams took his life, the old feelings of wanting to be dead are resurfacing -- flashbacks to the mindset, mood, and memories of that period. I cannot see how I can unlearn what I learned about the methods of dying, and it's all flooding back. That person wanted present-me dead. I thought I was winning that fight, and for awhile, I stopped imagining that I'd ever lose even as I thought I'd never be truly free of the fight... but now I am terrified that someday, no matter how much I have going for me, or who loves me, or how many people I could reach out to, I will take my life. Maybe not in my 20s, or 30s, or 40s, or even 50s... but someday. My mental health may improve, a presently rocky period will like-as-not end with recovery, I have a tendency toward exuberance, cheer, and ambition that has great potential to take me far in life. I find great joy in many things. But this resurfacing fills me with isolation that only deepens my sinking into The Fear. I have many questions. Is it possible to become completely free of suicidal ideations after having lived with them for ten years, with periods within those years where it was a day-to-day obsession that nearly climaxed with an actual attempt? Is personifying the dark, suicidal version of yourself as a total jerk deserving of your rage an effective means to combat suicidal feeling? What about something which is dumb? (It is dumb.) How to come to terms with one's mortality in a healthy way? Is confronting death by one's own hand as something within everyone's reach a common part of development? Are there people who never have to deal with this? What is a responsible way to handle outreach -- who to tell, who to not tell, what sort of information to share, how to avoid causing panic in friends and family family when I am not in distress, whether I should avoid causing panic in friends and family, etc.? Do I simply say "I am struggling" or do I go so far as to mention "I was suicidal once and fear I may be so again." I am afraid of saying "the suicidal ideations never left, and probably never will" with anyone except fellow sufferers, but fear I must. What to do when suicidal ideations seem to transcend individual states of mind and mood and infringe on everyday moments and everyday activities -- good times and bad? In the throes of The Fear they do have this nasty habit of turning the sweet into something very sour, moments of great connection into feelings of extreme isolation... but in milder forms they're just kinda there. Niggling. How can I handle the guilt from having been suicidal, the shakiness in self-trust inspired by other people's suicides? How can I approach therapy in a way that increases resiliency and strength, gathering up details about my mental history (which is most consistent with PTSD, with a bit of ADHD and bipolarity thrown in for good measure, a history of both emotionally sound as well as emotionally fucked-up and straight-up abusive relationships romantic and otherwise, and family history of abuse, suicide, etc.), addressing the suicidal ideations in their nastiness without creating some awful loop wherein I become even more preoccupied with suicide? When is the appropriate time to inform up-and-coming friends that I have my dark days where I struggle without alienating a potential support network? I am dealing with a mishmash of cultures -- my acquaintances are very international (primarily American and West European, but a grand mix of everything else). We are activity partners, we do fun things together, we are inventive in our past-times, they seem like good, open people... butI keep them at arm's length. I'd love to change that, but recently got burned hard when I shared details about my past mental health issues while I was rather "clean". I fell into the old feelings of isolation and loneliness, it was a terrible prelude to Robin Williams' death which like-as-not paved the way for this relapse. The thought of getting close to someone new within a group setting fills me with panic and dread, and is one more fear fueling my recent slew of anxiety attacks. Can you withhold information about the extent of your darkness without the pain of secrecy? How can I channel my suicidal preoccupations into something good and productive instead of something destructive? I am completely convinced that suicide is a separate entity from any given mental illness, however comorbid. I feel like this is terribly absent from the overarching discussion about suicide, especially in the wake of Robin Williams' death. I want to fix that, want to help make talking about suicide and suicidal feeling a more open, less closeted thing. I feel very strongly about activism on this front. I want to care for people who struggle, to help with suicide prevention. I have acted as a gatekeeper before. I have asked that essential question of "are you suicidal?" I have stayed up half the night talking people down from their ledges. But those were all people I was already friendly with and rather close to. I would love to become a beacon of breaking silence without it becoming all about me and my struggle. I recognize the power of sharing one's own struggles with demons, but am not sure how to balance it. I aim to delve into these things with poetry and prose and visuals and graphs as well as assembling resources (maybe I should probably start a blog). I want to do so responsibly, carefully, mindfully, without endangering my own psyche or surpassing my limits or causing others harm. How can I become preoccupied with something else? (Say, Neil Gaiman, or the perfect taco.) And I wonder, wonder, wonder: Can you forgive yourself for wanting to die? Can you remember that person without feeling sick? I emphasize: I am not in immediate danger, and this is not a desperate cry for help, I have multiple resources at my disposal if I am in crisis and trust that I am not nearly so far gone that I will askew those resources. But I do need support, more support than therapy, and want help in building or finding a support network once more. I have people I can call at any time if I fear for my life -- but I have very few people in my physical circle who I feel comfortable speaking with about the pain. Thank you, Metafilter. I've meant to write to you all month... and hope this is not all word salad. With love, Forensic_taco p.s. I'd like to thank metafilter's There Is Help site, through which I found this post on PTSD resulting from being suicidal. I'd also like to mention that I was talked down from my ledge those five years ago from members of an online community. There is power here.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Fans of nonsense will be sad to learn that there are only three episodes in the web series Drunk Judge Judy. But what episodes they are! 1, 2 and 3.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My family just moved to Tippecanoe County in Indiana, and we're baffled by the seemingly arbitrary rules that dictate when babies are and are not allowed in bars and restaurants.Many establishments are 21 and over, with no exception made even for infants. Some restaurants, though, do allow babies, even though they serve alcohol. A couple of restaurants have had certain doors you have to enter through if you're under 21, or restrictions on where you can sit if you're under 21, and one restaurant recently said that we couldn't walk past the bar area to get to the patio. Are bars and restaurants just making up their own rules, or are there some relevant laws that will make sense of all of this? We went to the Alcohol and Tobacco Commission website and the full laws are 321 pages long. We haven't had this trouble in other states! Note that mostly we're just curious about the patterns we've seen -- we're not looking for practical solutions like "Try calling in advance". Thanks a lot!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Please suggest very healthy, shelf-stable snacks I can donate to my son's 3rd grade classroom.My son's teacher is soliciting donations for shelf-stable snacks for my son's classroom. (They also get fresh fruit donated through a local program.) Can you suggest some snacks? My preferences: - Very, very healthy (high poverty area, I'd like a good balance between calories and nutrition) - Must be completely shelf stable - no peanuts (other nuts ok, yes I checked) - not a chip - good value for money, in terms of number of servings. I'd likely be able to spend up to $50 but I would like that to stretch into at least 24 or more servings, if possible (and it may not be). - I would like it to ship directly from Amazon. (We don't have a Costco and I'm not a BJs/Sams member, but I am looking for bulk pricing and this seems to be the way to go.) - Kids from all backgrounds should be excited to eat it. I don't like wasting food, and I don't want the kids to have the stigma of the "cheapo donated snacks".

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
When the champion of adult culture is portrayed, even by himself, as an old curmudgeon yelling at the kids to get off his lawn, it suggests that this adult culture is one of the unfortunate but necessary costs of coming into adulthood. We give up the pleasures of entertainment for the seriousness of art. I just don't think that this is true. Christopher Beha on Henry James and the Great Young Adult Debate.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Amateur runner here. I have a friend that I ran a 5k with recently. Even though I train waaaaay more than he does, he whooped me by quite a bit. He's definitely more athletically gifted than me, but I would like to show him up in at least one race for various reasons. Mefite Runners/competitive racers: What can I do in the meantime before the next race regarding training/mindset/etc. so I can put him in his place at least once? Details inside.During the race, he started out at a faster pace that I thought would eventually tire him out. It didn't. He stayed at around that pace until the end of the race, while I just kept falling steadily behind. I slowed down majorly at the end, but even if I had kept up my original pace I would have finished way after him. I finished over a minute behind him. I've only been in a few races, but in this race in particular I feel that my negative mindset really hurt my performance. I started with the self-defeating thoughts early on: "It's still mile 2? I already feel out of steam. The song I'm playing was supposed to motivate me but I'm just getting sick of it... wait, my friend's THAT far ahead?! God, I'm so tired... let's just slow down a bit." I have a hard time quelling these thoughts. I finished with maybe 5% left in the tank. I was upset with myself that I wasn't able to give it my all. My friend was far enough ahead so that even if I did run a perfect race I think he would be ahead at this point. My friend is not only intensely competitive... it's also pretty obvious to me that he has better "genes" when it comes to sports in general; he's more coordinated than I am, can push through pain, and has incredible stamina even without training (Well, he does work a physically demanding job, which definitely helps with his endurance. But I'm pretty sure he does not do specific training for runs). I would normally be able to accept this and admit defeat, but he has quite the ego. He's a "Well, of course I finished before you without training. I'm ME" trash-talking type of fellow. Needless to say, I'd like to beat him and put him in his place at least once. Mefite runners: I'd like some tips on what kind of training regimen I could pursue in order to beat my friend the next time we run, which is probably in a month or so. Right now I just do trail runs from 3 miles to 5 miles in length, and don't worry too much about pace; I usually just decide to run slow/medium/fast for a certain amount of time. In 5k's, 7:21/mile is my personal best, and his is around 7:00/mile... so I have at least a minute of ground to catch up on. I'd also appreciate advice on maintaining a positive mindset; I think keeping negative thoughts out of my mind while running would play a huge factor in my performance. Any other advice is welcome as well. With improved training plans/a better mindset, maybe I can put something together. I know winning may be unrealistic given the short amount of time I have before the next race, but even giving the guy a run for his money would be okay with me. Thanks. PS: My friend has good points too, it's just his ego that makes me want to show him up. So no need to give responses like "he sounds like a bad friend" or whatever. Please stick to answering what I am asking, and help me win! :)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"It was always assumed that V-formation flight was learned from the adult birds. But these guys are all the same age and they learned to fly from a human in a microlight. They learned V-formation flying from each other. National Geographic reports on some of the fascinating intricacies of the V formation observed in migrating birds.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My father in law blew up at me in an extreme way a few weeks ago. My husband wishes for his father and I to eventually reconcile, but I would like an apology first.Husband and I have been together for 10 years, married 4. His parents had been helping us renovate our new place, and unfortunately witnessed us having a fight. On the evening this happened, nobody acknowledged it and we went for dinner together afterwards where everyone acted tired but normal. The following day FIL was very rude and snippy with me. He had an abscess on his tooth and was taking painkillers for this the day before and day-of. I approached him about an hour after he arrived to ask if he could perhaps do the decorating he was taking care of in a different way. He responded by shouting at me that if that was what I wanted, he would just change into his normal clothes and go home. I was so taken aback that I quietly went to get my husband and asked him to work out with his father which option was best for this project. Later I tried to explain to my husband that FIL had shouted at me and that I would like him to tell him this was not ok, and ask for an apology. Husband refused and I got very frustrated. At the end of that day the decorating FIL was working on turned out badly, and I was frustrated and asked if we'd have to start over again as per my original request. He replied angrily that this was indeed the case, and I swore about it annoyed that we had wasted a day, being that we were very short on time to get the work finished. FIL then flew into a rage, his face a shade of purple while he yelled at me about how much of a terrible time that he and everyone else was having because of me. He then changed his story to be that he was angry because I had called his son a 'f*cking idiot' the day before. I did not remember this but realised quickly that he had been quietly seething since seeing us have a fight. He dragged my husband into things, and when I asked my husband to stand up for me he would not. I eventually became so upset that I shouted at FIL to leave and not to come back when I was there. When I said 'how dare you speak to me like this in my home', he replied 'well I just did, didn't I?!' I left the house and did not return for an hour. By the time I came back FIL was leaving, and I was very upset that my husband had not come to find me or stood up for me to his father. He told me that after I left, his father gave him a hug and apologised 'if this jeopardised his [my husband's] relationship with [veids].' The backstory to the original fight between myself and my husband was that we had been working flat out at our place for weeks to get it ready. A new appliance had arrived and I was keeping it boxed so it would not be damaged. Husband kept picking it up and taking it out of the box, and eventually on the third try asked if he should stop doing it because I was getting fidgety about him touchign it. He agreed to leave it alone. When his parents were around, he then started screaming that the appliance was smashed. I went to look and shouted that it was not broken, but he kept screaming and protesting. Eventually I pointed out that the thing he was upset about was a part of the design, and evidently I did call him a f*cking idiot because it was an entirely avoidable situation, but he had been pestering all day about it. MIL has sided with FIL despite not being there to witness what happened. This is the second time in 4 years of marriage that his father has stepped in and nearly broken up our relationship. The first occasion was after my husband went to be assessed for a behavioural disorder which they did not believe that he had. Since then they have both been hostile towards me in both overt and passive-aggressive ways. I kept in contact with them during this time for the sake of my husband. Husband is still talking to his parents, but stated retrospectively that he would take my side and that they did not have a right to try to take over. Do I try to salvage anything here or accept that the relationship with my mother and father in law is not something I can fix now? FIL has stated that he regrets the way he said it but fully stands by everything he said to me that day.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
MALKOVICH, MALKOVICH, MALKOVICH: HOMAGE TO PHOTOGRAPHIC MASTERS by Sandro

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I have just arrived in Syracuse, NY, in anticipation of an interview tomorrow morning, to find a literal black cloud over the city and to be greeted by the receptionist at my hotel telling me, "Don't move to Syracuse. It's the worst." I want to turn my first impression of this place around. Can you recommend a great, happy-making restaurant for me to go to this evening?My interview is at Upstate Medical University, and since I'm about to go drive there to check it out, suggestions that are easily reachable from there are particularly appreciated. I don't particularly care about the style of restaurant; just tell me what you like!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Texting can be a real pain in the neck (and what to do about it)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
What is the current day etiquette around maintaining and removing connections on LinkedIn?I regularly clean up my LinkedIn connections. Someone I removed a while back just wrote me asking why since they'd done a small project for me 5 years ago and I'd left a recommendation. Since its impersonally done (for a bunch of reasons including the fact that I don't want to cross 500), I sent back a non committal "Oh it must be LinkedIn because it happened to me too" which it had. A recommender had removed me from their connections recently thus I "lost" their recommendation. It stung for a moment, then I shrugged and carried on. I would certainly never dream of asking them why. But now this person wrote back saying (whining) that they need it for a project, the money hadn't been that good so they want the recommendation back (!!) they saw I removed them etc etc which I did not reply. Now they've sent another request to link. I'm embarrassed for them because I would never follow up to ask why someone removed me from their connections or work history from years ago. And honestly, I would not work with this person again. I gave them a recommendation to help them on their way but now its been 5 years and I'd prefer they carried on with their professional life on their own. But at the same time I don't want to be an asshole so am putting this Ask out on what is teh best way to manage this kind of awkward.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Now that I've finally figured out that "tenure-track professor in the humanities" isn't actually a real job that exists in 2014, I'd appreciate help figuring out what job possibilities might be a good match for my strengths, weaknesses, and priorities.I am a woman in my late 20s, and I am beginning what I hope will be my last year of my PhD in the humanities. The process has clarified for me that I almost certainly don't want to go into academia (or, it has clarified for me that my advisor was the last generation for which a tenure-track humanities academic job actually existed - one or the other...). I have spent much of the past year coming to grips with leaving academia, and in recent months I have been trying to brainstorm specific alternate career paths. There is one that I am very much leaning towards, but before making the jump, I wanted to crowdsource other possibilities that I might not have thought of. I thought I would lay out my personal strengths and weaknesses, as I see them and in no particular order (and likely I have forgotten to add significant things), and then I thought I would list, also in no particular order, my priorities for a job/career. STRENGTHS: 1. I read extremely quickly, am able quickly to grasp the strengths and weaknesses of an argument that I am reading, and I write quickly and well. 2. I am generally good at insightful analysis, and I love grappling with the various factors of a situation and the challenge of drawing a best-fit line and an argument/recommendation that justifies it. 2. I am an extrovert, and I enjoy working with people and I am good at it. I have heard from several people independently that people intuitively like and trust me very quickly upon meeting me. I have done some teaching, and have received positive feedback from my students, especially in terms of my role in facilitating seminar discussion. I am used to working on my own (being a PhD student in the humanities), but I believe I could work well as part of a team, especially if everyone on the team had clearly defined complementary areas of work. 3. I am generally confident (not cocky, but confident), and I feel comfortable navigating new situations. I have spent time living abroad, and I enjoy interacting with people who are culturally etc. unlike me, and I do not find this threatening. 4. I am generally able to avoid taking criticism personally. 5. I have a good memory. 5. I generally am able to remain calm in emergencies and other high-pressure situations. 6. I think I generally am able to see both big-picture and detail in a given situation (maybe through all of my historian training). 7. I have been in a couple mostly-male boys'-club environments, and I handled it well. I wouldn't mind going into a career that were either dominated by men or had a testosterone-driven feel to it. 8. My dissertation is in modern history, and is a topic that intersects with policy, law, religion, etc. I'm not sure whether this has any relevance outside the academic world. 9. I have multiple degrees (undergraduate and graduate) from what are generally considered to be among the most famous/prestigious universities in the world. I have gotten excellent grades in all of my degrees. I have won a variety of scholarships, fellowships, academic prizes, grants, etc. 10. I am an American citizen, so I have the right to work in the US, and English is my native language. LIMITATIONS: 1. I want a job that involves working with people, ideally in a way that makes me feel like I am impacting those people's lives for the good. One of the most difficult parts of my PhD has been the loneliness and isolation, which has really depressed me. Although I loved undergrad and master's, I realized during my PhD that I definitely don't enjoy sitting in a library reading for 8 hours a day and then going home to write by myself for another 5. 2. I have a general intolerance of piles of paperwork and bureaucracy (although I can deal with it if need be). 3. Along with that, I have a low tolerance for boredom (although I can deal with it if need be). 4. I have been so focused on academia that I have not held any internships, and I don't have any other connections to the "real world". My degrees are all in the humanities. 5. I like having some degree of autonomy and agency in my work, and I don't simply want to be a company's yesman/propaganda artist. 6. I do not know any modern foreign languages to the degree of verbal fluency that one would need to know them in order to work in them. I also do not hold citizenship or work permits in any other country besides the US. 7. I do not yet have any publications, although it is not impossible I will have one or two in a year's time. PRIORITIES: 1. Having been burned in academia, I have zero interest entering a field where the jobs are scarce and unstable, especially if this involves taking on debt and/or more schooling to do so. I want a job that is grown-up, stable, and can provide a home for me for a long while. 2. As I mentioned above, I am looking for a job ideally where I get to work with people (ideally in a way that leaves me with confidence that I am impacting those people's lives for the good, and/or maybe involving collegial teamwork). 3. Really important to me is a job that I find interesting. It doesn't necessarily have to be interesting in an academic/intellectual way, but it needs to have new problems, and space for my analysis. I would prefer something too with a fair amount of interesting new things, and as little mundane and bureaucratic as possible. 4. I also want a job where I can exercise judgement and agency. 5. Also important to me is that the job is well-paying. This was not at all important to me five years ago, but it has really grown in importance as I have remained broke and have watched friends be able to afford to get married, buy apartments, start a family, etc. I will be starting all of this eight or so years behind everyone, and I would really like to be able to afford to do all of these things in the next few years. Also, I have been having an extremely allergic reaction to the DWYL ideology, and I have reached the point where I believe I should be decently compensated for my labor - in actual money, rather than in prestige, degrees, free pizza, warm fluffy feels of altruism, or any other denominations of counterfeit currency grad students are paid in. I'm sure I have missed some key things above, and I am happy to clarify anything in the comments. I'd love anyone to weigh in on what careers they think might be a good fit. I'd also love to hear from anyone who has ideas about what careers *wouldn't* be a good fit, as narrowing things down would be helpful too. Are there any jobs where a humanities PhD would be an asset? I would be willing to go back to school if need be, but wouldn't want to do it unless I were virtually certain that there would be a good job waiting at the end of it. And just to clarify, I have less than zero interest in adjuncting, and I am also very disinclined at this point to sink 3-5 years more in postdocs and VAPs and the like, all for a shot at rolling the dice at a tenure-track job half a decade down the line. My preferred plan would be to exit academia immediately post-PhD, and start investing in something more stable (or at least, more well-paying).

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Back in possibly the mid-to late 80's, or early 90's at the latest, I caught a bit of a program on television about a choral piece of classical music, which at the time was being billed as sung by (faulty memory may apply here) the largest choral ensemble ever assembled. It's also possible that it was the combination of symphonic musicians + chorus equalled the largest group assembled for a piece of choral music.The piece of music was by a (then) contemporary composer, who I believe was conducting his own composition he'd written for this massive gathering of voices. I seem to recall him being interviewed on the TV special that was broadcasting the show. Probably PBS? Seems like a PBS sort of thing. My memory is also that it was pretty powerful and awesome. Help me track it down?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
R.I.P., the Vincent Price of podcasts Lawrence Santoro (old but useful site), writer, director, and actor, passed this July. But he might be best known for his work as a podcaster, most notably through his Tales to Terrify. Other writers and podcasters mourned, while the District of Wonders (previously) observed a week of radio silence. To get a sense of the richness and scope of Santoro's audio work, check out the more than 130 Tales to Terrify shows in their archives. Or combine his writing and audio performance by listening to the heartbreaking, NSFW, and powerful "Little Girl Down the Way".

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Alex Ross on The Classical Cloud. Here is a link to the Ionarts website mentioned in the article. (There are a lot of previously's for Alex Ross - you're on your own.)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Prof is really young and he blushed when I said something a bit extreme.I am in a grad program where all my courses are seminars with 11 people. One of my profs is really young (and obviously new to teaching) and the class has a really safe, welcoming and laid back vibe which I really appreciate. Last class we were discussing a subject which I have some (stupid) opinions on. No one else in the class was saying anything, so I just voiced my (stupid and judgmental) opinion on the text we were talking about ( I probably don't understand it correctly, but at the time there seemed to be hypocrisies in the text which I chose to point out), and this caused the prof to intensely blush. I am a formerly extremely shy person who in the past few years has stopped being shy but does not know how to be a proper extrovert yet. The prof's laid back vibe also contributes to breezy talk. But I feel bad for saying something so stupid and also for making the prof embarrassed. I have to email him today anyways for a question about the readings. Would it be appropriate to apologize or say that I take back what I said or is this a situation where he's already forgotten what was said and drawing attention to it is being self absorbed and petty? should I just try to be better going forward or would an acknowledgement be appreciated. Normally, in a large class I wouldn't be worrying about this. But since it's a seminar class I have to be more mindful.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I need the projectiles to be heavy enough to be easily thrown 10 yards. I'm planning building broadcloth pouches, but I don't know what to fill them with. I need something cheap and heavy, but not rocks. Any ideas?This is for a show, the audience is throwing the projectiles. I don't want people to get hurt from ricochet. Also, no glitter. They have to weigh enough to pierce cheap paper from 10 yards away. I was thinking beads, but they might be too light. Running out of ideas. Help!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Sentenced in a Swedish court, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg gets extradited to Denmark to stand trial for another case of system intrusion. Mefi's Own, Jacob Applebaum has some choice words after his testimony in the Danish court. the Swedish security services conducted the initial technical forensics(pdf), focusing on whether or nor the Windows Firewall was present (as opposed to enabled), yet when the Danish Police conducted their own forensic analysis, they found over 500 trojans installed, a fact to which the presiding judge replied "I don't know about Trojans" aside from the Swedish security services inability to perform a trivial virus-scan & a post-swartholm-extradition financial aid from Sweden to Cambodia of $33 553 944 (2011 - $25 445 074). but there's also an observation of skewed data after the swedish trial. although Gottfrid, has gone on the record as to who did what and when on said lab-device, the Danish police has yet to investigate. The company Gottfrid stands accused of hacking also has an interesting background pertaining to a certain country's clandestine services. This trial has everything, even alleged coercion of witnesses! obligatory wikileaks link of documents relating to the alleged cambodian extradition corruption charge levelled by the defense.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I would really like to be paperless. As soon as I receive them, I'd like non-junk mail and documents to be digitized, then shredded.Currently, what I do is open the envelopes, decide how important the document inside is, then take pictures of the pages, then shred the documents. Later, I sort the photos into a specific album, then off-load them from my phone into iPhoto, then from there to a folder. This is onerous enough that I can't do it under pressure, and mail piles up on our coffee table. Other flaws: - No OCR, so these photos have to be searched visually instead of by typing in text. - I rarely get around to labeling them, making that search even harder. Things I'd like to avoid: - I used to have a Fujitsu ScanSnap, but it was really finicky and, eventually, the feeder broke. If the suggested approach involves scanning, I'd prefer it to be iPhone-based. - I don't want my documents locked up in some proprietary storage service, especially those that are subscription-based. I see some older AskMes, but I'd like to know what's working for MeFites right now.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
SIMILO. "2065. The entire planet is hit by the effects of climate change. One of the few places that remain habitable is Antarctica, where corporations have built private cities. Hebe and Ciro get back together again. She is looking for love. He is searching for his own identity." [NSFW, Via]

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"This country, when it was ever known on the global stage under the union, was associated with tragedy, in terrible events like Lockerbie and Dunblane; it's now synonymous with real people power. Forget Bannockburn or the Scottish Enlightenment, the Scots have just reinvented and re-established the idea of true democracy. This—one more—glorious failure might also, paradoxically, be their finest hour." Novelist Irvine Welsh on Scottish independence (SLGuardian) Previously: For fifteen hours, we hold sovereignty in our hands

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"Okay, the old man in the tavern tells you, 'Many years ago the powerful sage known as Mefi's own Lore collected much wisdom about the sundry monsters of which the elders taught of us in the Monster Manual. Lore's annotations to the work came in the form of the comic series Speak With Monsters. They were once thought lost forever with the fall of Bad Gods and following the trail the mighty JHarris blazed previously four winters past will lead only to woe. But Lore has shared them again in the distant library of Google Plus for seekers after wisdom and gold.' He then falls over with a knife in his back. What do you do?" It is "The Incomplete Series" because while originally slated to run for 150 installments, it ended after roughly half that. For your easy reference: Carrion Crawler Blink Marmaduke Centaur Chimera Cockatrice Displacer Beast Doppleganger Djinni Efreeti Elemntal (Fire Elemental) Ettin Flightless Bird Leech, Giant Ghost Spider, Giant Spider Gnoll Dragon, Green Dragon (Draco Chlorinus Nauseous Respiratorus) Halfling Griffon Harpy Hell Hound Herd Animal Hobgoblin Ki-Rin Kobold Lamia Medusa Merman Mimic Ankheg Minotaur Mind Flayer Beholder Bulette Men, Berserker Dinosaur, Ceratosaurus Demogorgon Dryad Ear Seeker Ant, Giant Leprechaun Invisible Stalker Golem, Iron Manticore Rakshasa Peryton Umber Hulk Xorn Mummy Ogre Mage (Japanese Ogre) Orc Pixie Owlbear Pseudo-Dragon Quasit Roper Purple Worm Rot Grub Rust Monster Sahuagin Shambling Mound Skeleton Succubus Shrieker Troll Trapper Troglodyte Unicorn Vampire Will-O-(the)-Wisp

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
9 conversations from a pop-up photo studio in San Diego

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Do you use a casual drawing app or program that constrains your choices in a good way? Tell me about it.Two years of playing DrawSomething has rekindled some interest in artistic pursuits that I thought long-gone. I think part of the appeal is that unlike any other digital art program or app I've played with, DrawSomething gives me a very limited palette and set of tools to play with. I tend to overthink things even more when creating something than I do in everyday life, so I find this small menu of choices very freeing, in a way that really encourages goofing around creatively. But lately I've been wishing I had something similar I could just use for playing around on my Nexus 5 or iPad, no game required. I've tried Autodesk's SketchBookPro and there are just way, way too many options. Can you recommend something closer to what I'm looking for?

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