posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I made a big batch of refrigerator pickles last night, and forgot to bring the brine back to a boil before pouring into the filled jars. The brine was warm-hot, but definitely not boiling. Today I have a bunch of cold vegetables that do not taste very pickle-y. Can I strain out the brine, re-boil it and try again in the same jars? Or have I ruined it?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I've been working on this little project called CheckIn, which is supposed to be a quick and easy to use Foursquare app that let's you check in quickly and adds interesting features like check in reminders (and instant checkins in iOS 8 - currently working on notification actions in my working build).I've gotten suggestions to make it use Facebook instead of Foursquare, but I'm wondering how to make the transition over or if I should just rerelease it as a new app. Any ideas? I want to make this app something you would definitely use. Trying to make this a Foursquare app for busy people (fyi I don't like the Swarm app).

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Our daughter flaps her arms frantically whenever she's excited. We have a tentative diagnosis of non-autistic motor stereotypy, but haven't found a treatment that works. The flapping doesn't bother her, but she's starting to get strange looks, and we'd like to "fix" it. We're looking for resources and recommendations (especially in the Midwest) and any other personal accounts or advice.Our five-year-old daughter — let's call her Morsita — has, since she was perhaps 12-18 months old, tended to flap her arms excitedly when she's happy or excited about things. At first it was just this cute thing our wonderful daughter did when she was excited ... but over time it's become something that's clearly developmentally a bit, well, weird. It's also seemed to get worse, or more intense, over the past year or two, and has sometimes spread into her legs (shaking, hopping) and face (grimacing, moving her tongue from side to side). It's especially severe when she's tired; when she's in new, highly stimulating environments; or, sometimes, when she's particularly engrossed in a new book / TV show / etc. She is utterly un-self-conscious about it, and describes it (to us and to her friends) as "just something I do when I'm excited". Morsita is otherwise developmentally normal — there's no sign of any autism-spectrum disorders, and her social skills are fine. She's also hyper-articulate, and very gifted (fully bilingual, taught herself to read/write at age 3, tested into a highly selective kindergarten with scores placing her in the top 0.01% of her cohort, etc). We're familiar with the work of Dr Harvey Singer at Johns Hopkins, who appears to be the top researcher on these issues. He reviewed a video clip of Morsita's flapping, and said it definitely looked like non-autistic motor stereotypy — but we've been waiting a year for an appointment to see him in person, so far without success. (We've also now moved to Chicago, so getting to Baltimore for an appointment would be tricky.) In the meantime, we've been seeing an occupational therapist, who said Morsita had poor core muscle tone and sensory processing disorder, and that the flapping might be a result of that (as a form of "stimming" to cancel out or supplement sensory imbalances, I think). She's been seeing her OT worker on a weekly basis for almost a year, and while her muscle tone and coordination have dramatically improved, the flapping hasn't significantly changed or reduced. We're eager to find ways to reduce or regulate the flapping behavior, but we're also very reluctant to do anything that might make Morsita self-conscious, especially as she starts at her new kindergarten this fall. We're also concerned that this appears not to be something that people simply grow out of, so if we don't start to address it now, it might be harder or impossible to address later. So far, we've tended simply to ignore her flapping, or at most to ask her to calm down a little if it starts getting really out of control, but we're increasingly thinking that we need to sit down with her and try to explain that it can affect how people see her, and that she needs to actively try to rein it in. (That's tricky, though, because so much of the issue comes down to social perceptions rather than any more tangible problem that the flapping causes her.) Anyway, we'd be very interested in hearing any personal accounts of dealing with motor stereotypies, and any advice about how to discuss this sort of issue with a bright, articulate 5-year-old. We're also interested in specific recommendations for treatment paradigms we might not have considered, or for care providers in the Chicago or Midwest area who have experience dealing with motor stereotypies and/or very gifted children. Thank you!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
"Let me see if I can find a cutlass," says Tracey Williams, poking around some large rocks on Perran Sands with a stick. She doesn't manage that, but does spot a gleaming white, pristine daisy on the beach in Perranporth, Cornwall. The flower looks good for its age, seeing as it is 17 years old. Seventeen years after being swept overboard, one container full of Lego pieces still regularly spills its treasure on a Cornish beach. That sounds cute but it points at a hidden world of oceanic currents and the threat of plastic and its durability to the ocean's health.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm looking to purchase an extra-large hybrid bike with an internal hub. This would be for casual riding with my family, but ideally the bike is somewhat sporty for longer rides and something I can grow into. The bike will not be used for commuting. If the internal hub request makes this bike a unicorn, then recommend a good all-around hybrid.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'd like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend's birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis.We're both about-40 women. She's been married for nearly 15 years and has two young kids. I'm partnered with no children (my relatively new, not live-in, partner has two young kids who live with their mother). The short version is: I have a friend, H, who I was very close to for several years. She & I have been drifting apart for a while, mostly due to normal life divergence (she has small kids and I do not, etc). H did not approve of some of my choices during and after a significant series of major life upheavals last year, and she and I have not spoken for nearly a year. I made an effort to reconnect a few months ago, but H cancelled and had not been in touch since then. Recently, H and I were both at a big social event connected to a hobby/lifestyle group we're both part of. This is an annual event, and I assume she expected to see me there—this is something we've both attended for ten years—and I certainly knew I'd see her. At the event, I approached H in what I intended to be just a friendly way—I really was not looking for a confrontation or a dramatic scene, just a hello and a brief "hey I'm good!" friendly party-chat. This did not go as I expected. H said (this is not verbatim, but it's as close as I can recall) "Don't do this to me right now. I can't be the friend you want and need". I was sincerely astonished and really upset, said "okay" and left the room and ultimately the event. There were some tears on the way out of the event venue, and I probably could have done a better job of keeping my upset to myself, but I was genuinely shocked and hurt, and... well, it went how it went. H did not tell me specifically why she feels this way, but I suspect that it's largely because she did not/does not approve of my relationship with my partner. However, she hasn't gotten any information about my life (aside from Twitter and Facebook feeds) for nearly a year, so if that is the primary issue she's coming to this conclusion based almost entirely on her own assumptions. I don't plan to confront H or try to get more details out of her—she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to interact. That's her choice and I can respect that, even though I feel really sad that she feel this way. However, she and I will both be at a minimum of two more social events in September, to celebrate another friend's 40th birthday. The hosting friend is aware that I am bringing my partner, and has expressed excitement that we'll attend. I don't know if the hosting friend is aware that H apparently feels like H and I can't be friends right now. I think that H knows we will be at these events, but it's possible that she has missed that information. I have considered mailing H a note—a handwritten card or similar—basically saying "I'm sorry you feel this way, but I respect your choice. My partner and I will be at (birthday events), and I will leave it to you to indicate if you're comfortable with more than a hello. If your feelings change in the future, you're welcome to contact me. I have really valued your friendship, and I'm sorry to have that end". I'm hoping to reduce the likelihood of massive awkwardness, make sure she knows she'll see us, and let her know that I'm leaving it to her to initiate any further contact. Does this seem like a reasonable approach, or could this cause more drama? And bonus question: specific or general advice for dealing with a lost friendship. I've lost touch with people before, but I haven't really had a friend breakup like this previously, and I'm finding this one kind of distressing even though H & I haven't interacted super-often for a few years. I'm not sure if other details are relevant, but I can add them if folks think it would be helpful.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I need to write a short blurb describing the services our group provides, which is basically defined in three dimensions, eg. "We provide services (A + B) for data types (C + D) in domains (E + F)." I imagine this is something faced by technical writers, is there some best practice for writing this sort of thing so that it is readable in plain English?Our two candidates right now (names changed to protect the guilty): 1. Org provides ServiceA, and ServiceB, for DataTypeA and DataTypeB. This includes DomainA, DomainB, DomainC and DomainD. 2. Org ServicesA, and ServicesB, DataTypeA and DataTypeB, including DomainA, DomainB, DomainC, and DomainD. My concern with both of these is the many commas and conjunctions. The data types and domains are all relatively long technical terms (eg. "hydroacoustic"), so the overall structure of the sentences and grouping of terms doesn't scan very easily. This needs to be very short and readable, it is basically a subheading in a document. The PTB insist that it cover all these features, since this is basically advertising the group within our organization.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Film Muffler is a stop motion animation knitted into a scarf. [via]

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Lufthansa changed my direct flight into a connecting flight. Do I have any recourse?I booked direct flight tickets for my elderly parents from Vancouver to Munich. At the time of booking there were a number if cheaper options with connections but I opted to pay more so they could avoid the hassles of changing planes. Fast forward to today when I receive an email informing me that the return leg has now been changed to a connecting flight with a one hour stop in Frankfurt. Having flown out of there before I'm worried this will be a tight and stressful connection for two elderly people with some mobility issues. I understand they can probably do this due to some small fine print but I feel like I got bait and switched here. I will call them this afternoon but I'm just wondering if I have any recourse here at all. I'm sure they'll let me cancel the flight for a refund but at this point tickets would be much more expensive. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks everybody!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have a fracture in my 5th metatarsal - no surgery, no cast, no splint, but strict orders to stay entirely off it (no toe-touch for balance, no resting weight on my heel even though it's fairly painless). I'm on standard crutches. Getting around is annoying, doing my job also awkward. What other mobility assistance might be useful - knee scooter? hands-free crutch?Today is my first day back at work since I broke my left foot about a week ago. The first doctor I saw was super-hasty and I felt I kind of got a brush-off, he prescribed staying off it, didn't specify when I should start driving or go back to work, just "let the pain be your guide to your activity level". Of course, if I did that, I'd be using my heel for balance, but he strictly forbade any such thing, the left foot is not to touch the ground for 4 weeks, I go back for more x-rays, and probably another 4 weeks on crutches still. The only really useful thing he did for me was give me a referral to a foot specialist, but that's not till Friday. My house has steep narrow stairs that I have to take a couple of times a day (bathroom) and I've started using an ace bandage for support of my good knee, as that's pretty tiring even when I hang on the bannister. My job involves a few hour/day of sitting at a computer (yay!) but also several hours of standing around a lab table, maneuvering through fairly tight spots around the lab; fortunately I can get help with the bending and lifting, but still the space is set up poorly for somebody who can't stand/walk. I was considering buying either a knee scooter or a knee crutch. Maybe someone who's used one can comment on what's best for mobility, standing for long periods, maneuverability, etc? A reason I should prefer one over the other? The scooter might be easier to find brick-and-mortar, and would be helpful for lab, except maybe for not fitting; the knee crutch looks ridiculous and unstable, but might actually be useful on stairs.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Looking for quality, regularly-updated web content as an alternative to the potpourri discussion-based sites that usually make up my day online.You know how there's quality TV versus regular TV? Let's just say I'm tired of the Two and a Half Men internet and don't know how to change the channel. I'm not looking for thinkpieces on internet topics du jour, clickbait content, stuff I might see on the news, outragefilter, art by artists doing art about themselves, or anyone's social media profile. No Reddits, no Gawkers, and yes, my Metafilter quota is already filled ;) The fewer spaces for discussion, the better. Perhaps I'm looking for short fiction or maybe someone posting bits of classical writing on a blog. Maybe it's someone who curates a list of the most obscure and interesting Wikipedia articles. Maybe it's a historical photos collection that gets updated on the regular. I'd gladly pay for access to the right quality content. Any suggestions? Do you read a site that somehow stands apart from the rest of the internet?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm visiting Iceland with my husband, his parents, my sister in law, and her husband. We're excited but my husband and I are wondering what we can actually expect and what we should do while we're there.Our travel group includes my husband and I (early 30s), his sister and her husband (late 20s), and their parents (early 60s). All of us are relatively healthy for our age but, to repeat, his parents are in their early 60s. We have traveled together before and are psyched but I'm trying to get a sense for what we should actually do while we're there. We are very interested in doing a glacier walk like this. I'm inclined to plan on renting boots so that's one less thing I have to pack - is that a mistake? Also, it sounds like they discourage wearing jeans for that hike because you can get wet. Should I buy water-repellent pants? I thought I could maybe get some nylon pants and wear leggings under them. Also, some of the TripAdvisor reviews suggest that the hike is not as easy as the website describes - is it okay to do with two 60+ year old folks who are not athletic? We are also planning to do a volcano tour and visit the Blue Lagoon. My sister in law, for some reason, is really excited about the idea of going horseback riding in Reykjavik. Is that something to be excited about? My husband and I aren't into horseback riding. Otherwise, what should we see and do? We will be staying in Reykjavik so ideas in the city would also be helpful. Finally, I'm interested in running the 10K in Reykjavik on Saturday, August 21. I am a little concerned that I might not be able to get back to the hotel and shower before we have to check out. Are there other ideas for where I could get a shower before hopping on a plane? I'll survive without one but I don't know about my fellow passengers.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
My wife has shared a bed with our toddler since she was born. I was never comfortable with it, and so I have spent a long 2 years on the couch. There is no end in sight and it's messing up our marriage. More below.When our daughter was born she was so small and fragile and I was afraid to sleep with them, for fear I would crush her. I support my wife in thinking that co-sleeping had benefits, but I just couldn't do it. Then later I didn't sleep with them because basically I got a lot less sleep, and I became less supportive of co-sleeping. Now I don't sleep with them because I am really uncomfortable about sleeping with a child in the bed, something about it just doesn't sit right with me. It's caused a lot of distance in our relationship, not to mention there is no intimacy occurring. It seems to be a pretty non-negotiable thing, and I am not making any headway in getting this to change. I feel less and less happy in my relationship because of it. I am tired of the couch. Of course there is more to it than that, there always is, but. . . .do I push harder to change this, or do I just live on the couch until something external comes a long, like maybe my daughter goes off to college, and changes things.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
My 87 year old mom is currently at the Psych ward in Fall River, RI. Her mental health has been deteriorating recently and we are looking into places that she might be comfortable at if and when she is no longer able to be at home in Wellfleet, Cape Cod with 24 hour care.Her Dementia and paranoia seem to be the issues that keep home health care at bay, she can become violently uncontrollable at times, sometime after long lapses of nearly complete normal (for her) behavior. She is fiercely independent, living alone on a sand cul de sac on a marshy area of Wellfleet for the last 40 years. Any thoughts, guidance and pointers on long term care places that cater to patients with dementia and psychiatric disorders, and where she could have a view of some sort, and maybe even where they would allow pets. near me Los Angeles? near my sister NYC? near where she currently lives: Cape Cod, MA? Thanks everyone

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
The nightclub insurer promised to fight for its clients — its promotional material shows a man socked in the face with a boxing glove. But founder Jeffrey B. Cohen fights everything. He went after competitors, clients, former employees and even neighbors, filing dozens of lawsuits around the country. The Reisterstown man once sought a restraining order to keep a rival company from attending an adult industry convention.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I recently received my renewal notice in the mail for my auto insurance policy. The premium (for the entire year) increased by almost $100. I called my insurance company to find out why, and my BS detector is going off.The policy is for two cars, with myself and my wife listed as drivers on both cars. The rate increase was not explained by any factors I could think of: - We have not changed coverage. - We have the same two cars. - Neither of us has been in an accident over the past year. - Neither of us have gotten a ticket in the past year. - We have not made any claims over the past year. The rate increased by almost $100 for the year. I called my insurance company and asked why. After being placed on hold for about 2 minutes, I was told it was a (Maryland) state government mandated increase on all drivers across all insurance companies. This seems like a BS answer just to get me off the phone. I'm sure something like that would have been mentioned on local news media, quoting all sorts of public outrage, and yet I've heard nothing and read nothing about it. Further, none of my co-workers, and no one I know locally, has mentioned such an increase, nor expressed disbelief at any increase in their auto insurance premium. Finally, I can find no mention of a Maryland auto insurance rate increase by using Google. I've had this same insurance company for both auto and renter's or homeowner's insurance (as appropriate) for six years now. I've been very happy with them compared with other insurance companies I've had in the past, though in those six years I have never made a claim, so I can't speak to their claims service. However, I'm not sure I'm happy staying with an insurance company if I don't feel that they are being honest with me. Was this a BS answer? Should I go shopping for another insurance company?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
A few friends of mine live in Somerville, MA, which is right outside of Boston. For the past few weeks, a bird has been repeatedly showing up on their porch and, apparently, making friends with them.Pictures at the following links. Apologies for how tiny the pictures are. Pic 1 Pic 2 Pic 3 My friend Ed described his most recent experience as such: "I'm on the porch reading. It flies (with a group of other birds) to the sidewalk. Notices the porch. Flies to the chair I have my feet on, decides that's a good spot to nap. I ignore it, thinking as soon as I move it'll fly away. After a few more minutes though I turn a page and it startles awake, thinks 'hey, i'm a bird,' and starts creeping down the chair towards me. Gets to my feet and starts chirping incessantly until I offer my hand to it, so it gladly jumps on my hand, pecks a couple times, and after having a bit of a seizure, relaxes to take another nap. I continue to read. Then I think, I have a fucking bird on my hand sleeping, so I try to take my phone out to get some snappies and pics, got a snap chat or two off but my phone dies instantly. But each time I try to go back inside to charge my phone for a couple minutes to try to get a video of the damn thing, it follows me inside. I put it on the couch to chill for a minute and I can hear it freaking out and flying after me. Every time I turn around in my room, it's on the floor in our hallway staring at me, even flies onto my shoulder the last time I went into my room so I literally walk back outside with a bird on my shoulder that won't go away. This ends with the bird seeing a flock of birds after a few more minutes and thinking 'oh right, i'm a god damn bird'" The bird has now been named Franz Birdinand, and I'm sure he'll be showing up more in the future. I'm curious if anyone can identify the bird's species though - based on his claws he looks to me to be a bird of prey of some kind, but its beak kind of works against that theory. I have no idea.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
19 year old is moving out to a rented room this week. We live in a city where young adults typically live with family until marriage or 30s, and her four siblings (one older, three younger) live with us. The decision to ask her to move out if she escalated in breaking household rules (no drugs, porn, sex-work, hold down a job or school, don't abuse other family members) has been run past her psychiatrist and long-planned. She's excited to live on her own with no restrictions, we are terrified due to her long history of risky behavior and struggles with borderline personality disorder and PTSD from abuse.She has narrowly avoided a police record so far, as well as HIV, but barely with a long casefile and multiple STDs. Her four siblings (psychologically healthy and generally resilient and happy people) are mostly guilty/relieved she is leaving. About six months ago, she moved out briefly then returned due to cash flow. She has a fulltime job at a restaurant that should cover her bills, although she is likely getting cash from different men as well. Specific questions: 1. Do we change the locks? We want her to feel like our home is still hers, but we are worried with past theft and damage, etc. 2. Should we pay part of the rent with the condition that she has to see her psychiatrist every two months and/or get STD tested? She quit regular therapy when she turned 18. Same for her co-paid meds. 3. Do we keep her room as-is or clean it out and let the other siblings use the space? 4. On the day that she moves out, should we let it go quietly or treat it as a rite-of-passage celebration with a positive spin? What else could we do that would be helpful both to her and for our family? Throwaway email is: knittingsockmonkeysforeveryone@gmail.com To clarify ahead: she cannot stay in the house without agreeing to start therapy again and follow rules, we sleep with locked doors because she has tried to poison me, hit other siblings and threatened worse, and her diagnosis has been a decade of therapy and teams of specialists and is very much confirmed. She is not anti-social personality disorder or a sociopath however.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Hyperkin's Retron 5 hardware plays real cartridges using original controllers from a variety of 8-bit and 16-bit consoles (including the NES, SNES, Sega Master System, Sega Genesis, and Game Boy Advance), converts the output to HDMI for moderns TVs, and includes all the advanced options you usually only find in software emulators. It's winning over even the most skeptical retro gamers.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Please suggest some interesting answers for this question (for a fictional book).I was selling my books and a lot of people asked me where I got the original idea from. The truth is I don't remember where I got the idea, it was more than ten years ago... So far I've been going with, "It just popped into my head" but they seem to want something more impressive. What are some excellent answers you've seen to this question? Thank you!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I just inherited literally a large garbage bag of wartime government documents, newspaper cutouts, photos and other memorabilia from Russia and Ukraine ca. 1910-1970. What do I do with the stuff I don't want, and also how do I fumigate it?My grandmother died so now I have a treasure trove of family documents, photos, etc. Unfortunately, a bunch of this stuff and features people I have never met and who may as well be perfect strangers (i.e. my grandmother's second husband). It's interesting, but not so interesting I want to keep it, especially the stuff post-WW2. Also, there are insects among the books. My grandmother was very old when she died, her apartment (in the projects) wasn't in the best of shape so this is to be expected. When my wife discovered the bugs, we quickly wrapped everything in a garbage bag, put another garbage bag on top of it and they're now sitting i na corner as we figure out what to do. I have no idea how to take care of the bug issue: the variety of material is pretty large: old newspapers, leather-bound photo albums, etc. I assume I can't just spray everything down with Raid. I also don't want to spend a lot of money on this. The stuff isn't in the best of shape now and mostly I want to be rid of it in a conscientious way considering the historical value. My ideal thing to do would be to de-bug everything, sort out the stuff that actually includes people I recognize as family, and donate the rest to ... an archive I guess? I have no idea who would want or take this stuff, but there's a lot of it here and we don't want most of it. If it helps, we live in NYC, and most of the people in the documents and photos are Russian and Ukranian Jews. There's really no other family I can give this stuff to, unfortunately. There's only one other living relative left in America and the stuff that would have any personal value to her is also stuff I would want to keep (and she would want me to keep.) I'm not even about to start trying to track down any family members in Russia.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'll be traveling with my (American) family for around 20 days in Germany. We would like to have two phones for short term use to handle brief day to day communication. Best options?These should be cheap basic phones - we don't need data, just voice and text. Ideally, it would be easy for other Germans to call us. We do not need them to make any calls back to the US. At the end of the trip, we have no problem leaving the phones behind with our German friends (assuming the handsets are fairly inexpensive). Has anyone found something similar? Where should we go once we arrive in Munich to look at our options? Is there somewhere online where I can research these beforehand? Thanks!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have been using my personal computer to do my job. How much should they "reimburse" me every month?I recently started a new job and have been using my personal computer for all of my work. This is a very small nonprofit organization and it would be a big cost for them to buy me a new computer and purchase the expensive software I currently have on my computer and need to do my job. It also works out nicely for me to use my personal computer because I don't have to keep track of two identical computers. We have discussed them buying me an identical computer, but it seems so wasteful both in terms of the cost and having a perfectly good computer that will sit around unused much of the time, so we are trying to make the reimbursement scheme work. Our accountant has suggested reimbursing me for the cost of the computer when I bought it + the cost of AppleCare depreciated over 5 years, which is less than $30 per month. Because I don't have receipts for much of the software its value can't be included in the reimbursement. I feel like this is a little too low and doesn't accurately reflect the value of the computer and software as the tool I use for all my work, the responsibility I retain for taking the computer to Apple if it needs repairs, and the savings to the organization. AppleCare is good for only 3 years, so dividing it over 5 doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I understand this is a formula that might make sense for tax purposes. My boss actually cares whether or not this is a fair arrangement so I do feel comfortable letting them know that I think the current amount is not enough. I wanted to get some idea of how these things might be calculated or what the going rate is so that I could come with a proposal, though. Does anyone have any experience with arrangements like these? Or does anyone know of any accounting best practices that would prevent them from deviating from the formula our accountant has laid out?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I am one of those adults who had to emotionally take care of myself throughout my life due to mediocre parenting. Mom and Dad weren't hugely abusive, but they didn't seem to give a fuck about my brother and I. I'm coming out of a month where I went off my meds and I think I had a hypomanic episode followed by a giant crash. While I am now back on my meds and working with my therapist and pdoc, I am craving someone in my life who would take care of me emotionally. Someone who would understand where I was coming from and why I feel the way I do. The thing is, I do live in reality and know that's not possible for the immediate foreseeable future, if ever. What can I do to self-soothe and give myself that pampered feeling? How do I find someone who gets me?I am a married woman in my mid-thirties. Besides the fuckup of the last month, I should also add that in the past 18 months, I nearly had to have major surgery due to a cancer scare, lost two jobs and experienced marriage stress from the unemployment. Oh, and I also did six weeks of an outpatient partial hospitalization program last fall. I didn't even tell my family (besides my husband) or friends about that hospitalization. My husband does the best he can in taking care of me, but I feel that he can only handle so much. He says he likes that I'm home, but he has major stress with his family of origin plus a demanding job. So I feel guilty asking for anything more. My best friend lives 300 miles away and if I'm lucky, I get to see her twice a year. We call each other infrequently. She also experiences mental health issues and has a demanding job, so I feel guilty in asking her for anything more than what she can provide. My other friends are scattered around the country, with the closest one being 100 miles away. Until recently, I was friendly with some women in a creative scene in my city, but they all paired up and became friends on their own and didn't really invite me along, you know? (Note: I was not as open about my issues with them as I am with you people.) I don't really have an official mental health diagnosis. A pdoc said I had bipolar II seven years ago, but the two psychiatrists I've seen since then have said my issues include a mood disorder, anxiety and attention issues. I did EMDR with my therapist a year ago and she said I may have some PTSD too. So what do I do to make myself feel like I am understood, that I have worth, that I matter? My past methods of self-soothing (shopping and eating and resting) all became crutches. Your input is welcome!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
If you like cheap groceries and live in Massachusetts, you may have noticed this weekend that the shelves were bare at Market Basket. Employees of the company staged a walkout on Friday to show their support for Arthur T. Demoulas, the company's recently ousted president. Many people have questioned the sudden change in management. Last night eight employees were terminated; despite this, a rally is planned for this morning in Tewksbury. Employees of Market Basket have set up their own website, with up to date information about the rallies, and much about the back story to this saga, including some links to copies of court documents. The Demoulas family's legal battles are the stuff of legend in Massachusetts. The family has been feuding in court for decades. Two lawyers were disbarred for their conduct in one Demoulas case. Last year, Arthur T. survived an attempt to remove him from the board. Amid the protests, some remain skeptical of Arthur T.'s cause.

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