posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have been using my personal computer to do my job. How much should they "reimburse" me every month?I recently started a new job and have been using my personal computer for all of my work. This is a very small nonprofit organization and it would be a big cost for them to buy me a new computer and purchase the expensive software I currently have on my computer and need to do my job. It also works out nicely for me to use my personal computer because I don't have to keep track of two identical computers. We have discussed them buying me an identical computer, but it seems so wasteful both in terms of the cost and having a perfectly good computer that will sit around unused much of the time, so we are trying to make the reimbursement scheme work. Our accountant has suggested reimbursing me for the cost of the computer when I bought it + the cost of AppleCare depreciated over 5 years, which is less than $30 per month. Because I don't have receipts for much of the software its value can't be included in the reimbursement. I feel like this is a little too low and doesn't accurately reflect the value of the computer and software as the tool I use for all my work, the responsibility I retain for taking the computer to Apple if it needs repairs, and the savings to the organization. AppleCare is good for only 3 years, so dividing it over 5 doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I understand this is a formula that might make sense for tax purposes. My boss actually cares whether or not this is a fair arrangement so I do feel comfortable letting them know that I think the current amount is not enough. I wanted to get some idea of how these things might be calculated or what the going rate is so that I could come with a proposal, though. Does anyone have any experience with arrangements like these? Or does anyone know of any accounting best practices that would prevent them from deviating from the formula our accountant has laid out?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I am one of those adults who had to emotionally take care of myself throughout my life due to mediocre parenting. Mom and Dad weren't hugely abusive, but they didn't seem to give a fuck about my brother and I. I'm coming out of a month where I went off my meds and I think I had a hypomanic episode followed by a giant crash. While I am now back on my meds and working with my therapist and pdoc, I am craving someone in my life who would take care of me emotionally. Someone who would understand where I was coming from and why I feel the way I do. The thing is, I do live in reality and know that's not possible for the immediate foreseeable future, if ever. What can I do to self-soothe and give myself that pampered feeling? How do I find someone who gets me?I am a married woman in my mid-thirties. Besides the fuckup of the last month, I should also add that in the past 18 months, I nearly had to have major surgery due to a cancer scare, lost two jobs and experienced marriage stress from the unemployment. Oh, and I also did six weeks of an outpatient partial hospitalization program last fall. I didn't even tell my family (besides my husband) or friends about that hospitalization. My husband does the best he can in taking care of me, but I feel that he can only handle so much. He says he likes that I'm home, but he has major stress with his family of origin plus a demanding job. So I feel guilty asking for anything more. My best friend lives 300 miles away and if I'm lucky, I get to see her twice a year. We call each other infrequently. She also experiences mental health issues and has a demanding job, so I feel guilty in asking her for anything more than what she can provide. My other friends are scattered around the country, with the closest one being 100 miles away. Until recently, I was friendly with some women in a creative scene in my city, but they all paired up and became friends on their own and didn't really invite me along, you know? (Note: I was not as open about my issues with them as I am with you people.) I don't really have an official mental health diagnosis. A pdoc said I had bipolar II seven years ago, but the two psychiatrists I've seen since then have said my issues include a mood disorder, anxiety and attention issues. I did EMDR with my therapist a year ago and she said I may have some PTSD too. So what do I do to make myself feel like I am understood, that I have worth, that I matter? My past methods of self-soothing (shopping and eating and resting) all became crutches. Your input is welcome!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
If you like cheap groceries and live in Massachusetts, you may have noticed this weekend that the shelves were bare at Market Basket. Employees of the company staged a walkout on Friday to show their support for Arthur T. Demoulas, the company's recently ousted president. Many people have questioned the sudden change in management. Last night eight employees were terminated; despite this, a rally is planned for this morning in Tewksbury. Employees of Market Basket have set up their own website, with up to date information about the rallies, and much about the back story to this saga, including some links to copies of court documents. The Demoulas family's legal battles are the stuff of legend in Massachusetts. The family has been feuding in court for decades. Two lawyers were disbarred for their conduct in one Demoulas case. Last year, Arthur T. survived an attempt to remove him from the board. Amid the protests, some remain skeptical of Arthur T.'s cause.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
19 U.S. Maps that Will Blow your Mind Or, um, not. If you love beautiful infodata, you'll really something this.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
As someone who is socially anxious and has difficulty interpreting social interactions, what is an appropriate follow-up response to someone who appears to be being friendly but may actually just be following social niceties?I was at a dinner party last night consisting of mainly unfamiliar people and got talking with another guy (both of us straight, so there are no romantic overtones here) who seemed genuinely friendly, as far as I can tell. At the end of the evening he offered me his business card and suggested staying in contact (this was around 1am after a evening of drinking, so everyone was pretty relaxed at this point). I believe this was intended in the social sense, rather than the business sense since there is little or no overlap between our fields of work. At the time I didn't have an opportunity to give my contact details to him. My problem is that I don't know if this is something that people do just to be nice but don't actually have any intention of following up on it. As I say, I suffer severely from social anxiety (attending this party was pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone) combined with low self-esteem and have great problems deciding whether people's actions towards me are genuinely friendly, or just one of those things people do to get through an evening talking with strangers at a party. My initial thought is to send him an email along the lines of "Hi; thought I'd just send you my contact details since you were kind enough to give me your business card last night". Is that appropriate? Or does it come across as weird?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Carlos Slim calls for a three-day working week "We've got it all wrong, says Carlos Slim, the Mexican telecoms tycoon and world's second-richest man: we should be working only three days a week." also btw: The four-day work week (previously)

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Hot on the heels of his mindblowing mashup extravaganza Mouth Sounds (prev. on MeFi), resident internet demiurge Neil Cicierega (also prev.) has released a "prequel" album: MOUTH SILENCE. Whereas Sounds was largely taken up with various hilariously mashed meditations on Smash Mouth's "All Star" and other '90s ephemera, Silence is a more diverse affair, mashing NIN with the Ohio Players ("Rollercloser"), Billy Joel with R.E.M. ("Space Monkey Mafia"), and System Of A Down with Elton John ("Crocodile Chop"), and many, many more. Like Sounds, Cicierega has released Silence as an MP3/FLAC download and Soundcloud stream, as well as on YouTube (playlist): Goodbye Rollercloser Furries Friends Best Pokemon Sexual Lion King Crocodile Chop Transmission Love Psych Orgonon Gurlz Born To Cat What Is It It's Close To The Sun Numbers Space Monkey Mafia Wndrwll Piss

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
or repeated mistakes? If you have any insight or personal experience please give it. I'm starting to suspect that I may never make any progress because it keeps happening again and again and the consequences are only getting worse. Details inside.I am a second semester college senior who has essentially been dragged kicking & screaming and spoon fed throughout my entire academic career thus far. In the past 6 years (late hs and college), I have not gotten through a semester without multiple extensions, incompletes and/or withdrawals. Even so, I barely get things done and virtually never at a quality level with which I am satisfied. Right now I am in summer school taking two courses necessary to finish my degree in December. There is no doubt I will fail them if I continue and it's mostly because I spent the past few weeks feeling very upset and falling into old bad patterns of behavior (big time procrastination, binge-eating, insomnia and similar) rather than due to any difficulty with the material. If I withdraw (or fail) I will lose about $6000 of my parents' money and be in a tight spot in terms of graduation, because my school does not allow students to spend more than eight semesters there. I could take a leave and fulfill my credits at another institution and transfer but that is incurring additional cost and pushing back my graduation date even further. Plus, I don't know how I will break this to my parents because I think they will react even worse than I can imagine and it may never blow over. I have also not been totally honest about my recent academic issues and I think the betrayal will be a much bigger issue than the $6000, which I would of course offer to save up and pay back. I've seen multiple therapists (some were a better fit than others but none were right, I suspect cultural factors make me especially not susceptible to this sort of treatment, or maybe my issues would be best handled in other ways) and have tried a few medications for depression: a handful of SSRIs (no effect) and wellbutrin which was somewhat helpful. I feel it is losing efficacy which makes me wonder if I experienced a placebo effect before or that I am not really depressed but just understandably upset because I keep self-sabotaging and ruining my own life for no good reason, which I feel is most likely. At this point, I just really don't believe that my behavior will ever change. I always tell myself that I will do better and I almost never do, or I do drastically better but then the next semester I backslide entirely. I get that I have to "just do it" but the point is that I never really do. I feel incredibly hopeless and like I will never be very competent. My parents are tired of dealing with this and will be furious and heartbroken if they have to again. My friends really have nothing left to say either. It really doesn't help that my peer group is almost uniformly absurdly successful for our age (all ivy grad school or professional school, wall street firms, top research institutes. how?? HOW????) which makes me feel even worse (and dumb), as many of them had to overcome way more serious issues. At this point, there's really nothing I can see myself wanting to do in the future at all. I'm sorry this is so long. I know that these types of issues are hardly unique (and most people have to deal with much much worse) so I was wondering if anyone on here had ever had fairly permanent improvement after basically a lifetime feeling low & making bad decisions? If so, how? I know people who have pulled themselves out of depressive episodes but those all seem to be stories of a one-time thing, not a 12+ time thing. Even if I am just really really lazy and have zero excuse for my behavior, it still doesn't give me a solid starting point for changing it. Or what to do with myself.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I've been making the transition into international development and am looking to join a relevant association. Which should I join?I've been making the transition into international development and am looking to build my professional community and keep up with research. I follow a few academics and practitioners on Twitter, and browse SSRN now and then. What I'm looking for now is a relevant professional association, and a community to share ideas with, publications and conferences. Things I like in an association: ability to attract key thinkers to journals, discussions and events, a broad perspective (ie not US only members as I am based in Europe but work worldwide), communities of practice/discussion lists etc, formal and informal events (conferences and meetups), research, a good mix of practitioner and researcher members. My work is moving more towards policy analysis, monitoring and evaluation, learning, capacity building etc. I don't specialise in any one region/country. I am/was a librarian by background but also have a degree in political science and remain very interested in this area. As I asked in a previous question, I have an interest in development economics. However I don't have the ability to get another degree. I have previously been a member of APSA (good journals but all events are in the US), American Library Association (as my professional identity has changed this is less relevant), Society for International Development (their Europe chapters are rather inactive). I have never joined AEA. What associations should I look at? Or should I relook at other APSA chapters? Alternately, if there is no one association to join, what are the key events, publications that I should be picking up?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Flying out to Oahu, staying in Kailua tomorrow and would love absolute can't miss places in Kailua town or anywhere else on the island. Looking for great food, beautiful (not greater than "intermediate" difficulty) hikes, where to go to rent jet skis, and any other literally-we-have-to-see-this off-the-beaten-path sort of suggestions.We're here until Sunday of this week, we have a car, I have hiking boots and jeans, but also shorts/swimming equipment, etc. Definitely going to spend some time on the beach, of course, but specific tips on where's best for nice snorkeling, jet skiing, hiking, etc., are welcome. Willing to spend a bit of money on something if the experience is fantastic. Mahalo!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Scientifically I'm not sure what is going on but the doctor said I most likely broke a bone in my hand and I have am MRI in a couple days. (The x ray was inconclusive but he is 90 percent sure)I've got pain meds and am trudging along. I'm tring to adjust to my new one hand lifestyle as it is in a cast.I'm looking for tips and tricks for handling life as every moment I'm awake I'm finding new things that are hard with one hand. Suggestions for work (typing especially) and life would be great like how do I wash one hand in the bathroom? I'm trying to handle this like a champ.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells?I have recently discovered that in terms of attachment theory I am fearful-avoidant. A history of sexual abuse, family issues, and two damaging previous relationships (one year with an emotional sadist, seven years with a compulsive cheater and liar) mean I have pretty much zero self-esteem and zero trust in others. In a relationship, I tend to completely idolize the other person, while at the same time being deadly afraid of them, so I go through exhausting anxiety-avoidance cycles. I am now in a LTR with someone whom I love very much, and with whom I am closer than with anyone before (let's call them Y). I have been with Y for 3,5 years, living together for a year. However, what worries me is that the longer we are together, the more insecure I get. In the last year, I have become very, unreasonably jealous and my anxiety is off the charts. I am worried that this is eventually going to seriously affect my life and my relationship in a very negative way. I've recently read the book 'Attached'. It made me look past my own issues and for the first time ask the question of where Y fits in all this, and I realized I'm unable to judge that. I know that the main reason why I stayed way too long in the previous, bad relationships was because I was so focused on my own inadequacies that I couldn't even see my then-partners' behavior clearly. I love Y and I want to be with them, but I feel that if I am to work on this, it's really important for me to be able to look into _our dynamic_, rather than just _my own insecurity_. Unfortunately, my insecurity is making it impossible. I have been working very hard on communication with Y and they know about my past and my issues. In general, I feel I get mixed responses ranging from "I see how hard it is for you and I will do anything to help" to "This is all in your head and I will not engage with your insecurities". Because I oscillate between seeing Y as perfect (idolizing) and seeing them as a cold, dismissive monster (fear), because I know it must be difficult to deal with someone else's issues, and because I have no previous experience of a good relationship, I honestly cannot tell to what extent what I perceive is real. Of course, I don't expect you to be able to tell either, as I can't give you a complete picture. My question is just: How do you recognize someone secure and loving if you have no experience of people like that in your romantic history, and if your insecurity is going off the charts? Note: Unfortunately, therapy is currently not an option (no time and no money.) I have had therapy in the past, so I am trying to do some self-help CBT and ACT/mindfulness.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I inherited two nazi era armbands. How do I sell them?I have two nazi era armbands that I'd like to unload because I find them repulsive, but I realize they might be worth a few dollars. And I need the money for extravagant things like food and shelter. One is an SA sports referee armband, and the other is a full blown swastika thing. They both have postage stamp sized labels attached to the inside of each. Each label is written in German and each armband has a serial number on it. These things are pristine. I doubt they were ever worn. If I wasn't so broke, I would offer them up to a Holocaust museum, but I am FUCKING BROKE and soon to be homeless. I hate to say it, but I would sell these things to white supremacists if I could make enough money to keep me alive til I can get a job. Any ideas, hive mind?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm cooking this recipe and it calls for one 7-oz can of fire roasted chilis. Can I substitute a NM dried red pepper? I also have crushed red pepper, but I'm not sure if either would be a good option.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Has anyone ever quit their jobs, went back to school and started a 2nd career later in life? How did it work out / is it working out?I'm in grad school now preparing for a completely different career (one much more suited to my passions but will pay way, way less). I'm still single, in my 30's and I've spent all my savings for school. It's quite scary when all your friends have bought houses and having kids and you're at the same level as a 22 year old recent grad. Am I doomed?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
John Faherty tells his story of undergoing a pancreas transplant in a bid to cure his type-1 diabetes. "Pancreas transplants are not experimental, but they are not common. In 2013, there were 16,894 kidney transplants performed in this country and only 256 pancreas transplants."

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Here's a song I didn't know existed until summer 2007, when Lemon Jelly's Fred Deakin released an impeccably curated three-CD mix (full 4 hours on Mixcloud). Halfway through the first disc, the music slipped into an easy, loping groove, sunburned and hungover, and a regretful voice offered Otis Blackwell's lonesome lyric: "You know I can be found/ Sitting home all alone ..." [Billy Swan's version of "Don't Be Cruel" is] a beautiful record, though, and utterly different from Elvis's 1956 recording. And it opens a fantastic collection of country funk songs, collected and remastered by Zach Cowie of Light in the Attic Records. More sounds below the break. "Don't be Cruel" opens the second compilation of that imaginary genre, Country Funk. The first compilation, which spanned 1969-1975, came out in 2012, as commemorated in The A.V. Club's review, Remembering when country music wasn't so white or so conservative. Country Funk 1969-1975 1. Dale Hawkins - L.A., Memphis & Tyler, Texas (L.A., Memphis & Tyler, Texas, 1969) 2. John Randolph Marr - Hello L.A., Bye-Bye Birmingham (John Randolph Marr, 1970) 3. Johnny Adams - Georgia Morning Dew (Heart & Soul, 1970) 4. Mac Davis - Lucas Was A Redneck (Stop and Smell the Roses, 1974) 5. Bob Darin - Light Blue (Commitment, 1969) 6. Jim Ford - I Wanta Make Her Love Me (Harlan County, 1969) 7. Gray Fox - Hawg Frog (Hawg Frog / River Song, 1969) 8. Link Wray - Fire and Brimstone (Link Wray, 1971) 9. Bobby Charles - Street People (Bobby Charles, 1972) 10. Cherokee - Funky Business (Cherokee, 1971) 11. Tony Joe White - Stud Spider (Tony Joe, 1970) 12. Dennis The Fox - Piledriver (Mother Trucker, 1975) 13. Larry Jon Wilson - Ohoopee River Bottomland (New Beginnings, 1975; video taken from the Heartworn Highways documentary) 14. Bobbie Gentry - He Made A Woman Out Of Me (Fancy, 1970) 15. (Cold?) Gritz* - Bayou Country (Bayou Country single, *the only release from the short-lived group Cold Gritz and the Black-Eyed Peas) 16. Johnny Jenkins - I Walk On Gilded Splinters (Ton-Ton Macoute!, 1970) Light in the Attic recently released the second volume in this ongoing series, which even includes some CanCon, as pointed out by Exclaim.ca Country Funk II 1967-1974 1. Billy Swan - Don't Be Cruel (I Can Help, 1974) 2. Bob Darin - Me and Mr. Hohner (Commitment, 1969) 3. Hoyt Axton - California Women (Joy to the World, 1971) 4. Townes Van Zandt - Hunger Child Blues (from his first Nashville recording sessions in 1966, released on In The Beginning, 2003) 5. Thomas Jefferson Kaye - Collection Box (Thomas Jefferson Kaye, 1973) 6. Willie Nelson - Shotgun Willie (Shotgun Willie, 1973; the story of Shotgun Willie) 7. Jackie DeShannon - The Weight (Laurel Canyon, 1969) 8. Gene Clark & Doug Dillard - Don't Let Me Down (Through the Morning, Through the Night, 1969) 9. Bill Wilson - Pay Day Give Away (Ever Changing Minstrel, 1973) 10. Dolly Parton - Getting Happy (Love is Like a Butterfly, 1974) 11. Larry Williams & Johnny Watson with The Kaleidoscope - Nobody (Nobody / Find Yourself Someone To Love, 1967) 12. Jim Ford - Rising Sign (unissued Capitol album, circa 1973) 13. JJ Cale - Cajun Moon (Okie, 1974) 14. Donnie Fritts - Sumpin Funky Going On (Prone to Lean, 1974) 15. Kenny Rogers & The First Edition - Tulsa Turnaround (Transition, 1971) 16. Great Speckled Bird - Long Long Time To Get Old (Great Speckled Bird, 1970) 17. Willis Alan Ramsey - Northeast Texas Women (Willis Alan Ramsey, 1972) Of course, there is plenty more country folk out there, or as Light in the Attic folks said, "there's plenty of gas in the country funk trunk yet."

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio has called for changing the admissions criteria of NYC's elite high schools, arguing that relying solely on a single exam (the SHSAT) "creates a "rich-get-richer" dynamic that benefits the wealthy, who can afford expensive test prep. However, the reality is just the opposite. It's not affluent whites, but rather the city's burgeoning population of Asian-American immigrants — a group that, despite its successes, remains disproportionately poor and working-class — whose children have aced the exam in overwhelming numbers." "Asian Americans' cultural niche comes largely from the fact that [they are] a product of a "brain drain"— the immigration preference system that encouraged the cream of the educational crop in Asian countries to come here for better schools and a better life. The "model minority" stereotype mostly comes from the fact that the immigrants who came here were the ones who were already on track to get Ph.Ds." Diversity and elite high schools: To Be Black at Stuyvesant; Admitted, but Left Out Previously on Metafilter: Diversity and ivy league admissions: The Myth of American Meritocracy

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I left a ring with sentimental value in my hotel room in the bathroom this afternoon, checked out of the hotel and didn't remember until now. I've called the hotel lost and found and they said the room was cleaned, nothing was reported found and that they will have housekeeping check tomorrow, the room is occupied already. Is there anything else that I can do about this?The hotel was not interested in taking a description of the ring and told me to call back tomorrow. (I am extremely upset with myself for having left it in the first place.) Thanks.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Dave's Classic Limousines is dedicated to documenting Limousines prior to the Super-Stretch era and features pictures and descriptions of Custom Coachworks cars and one offs (home built and commercial) plus a page devoted to presidential limos. The site is older than us so please excuse the primitive navigation.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Test Pattern: Downscaling 2997fps 10Min. Reviews are streaming in for Test Pattern: Downscaling 2997fps. Test Pattern: Downscaling 2997fps. Test Pattern: Downscaling 2997fps. Test Pattern: Downscaling 2997fps. Satisfied viewers are saying "Not as good as the book" but still a "A start to finish THRILL RIDE!" and "Deeply. Riveting". It's currently the most popular Netlix movie on Instant Watcher and destined to be a classic.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
If someone completes a Postgraduate Diploma (in Engineering) and they do not have an undergraduate degree in Engineering (but rather in something else, i.e. architecture), does the postgraduate dip. qualification enable this person to be called/ titled an engineer?This question for Australia specifically - the postgraduate diploma qualification is at RMIT University and could be counted towards the masters program.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Touching the Art "Ovation's newest digital series tackles the contemporary art world's least favorite subject – art. Host Casey Jane Ellison asks her panel of insiders all the dumb questions, so you don't have to." "Contemporary art is having a breakthrough moment, thanks in part to recent celebrity cross-overs (Lady Gaga, James Franco, Jay-Z), ubiquitous fashion collaborations and record-setting auction returns. So why is it still so difficult to talk about? Comedian and artist Casey Jane Ellison wades into this conversational quagmire in the pilot for Ovation's new original web talk show, Touching the Art. "As host, Casey's blunt, reductive line of questioning takes aim at the barriers between the uninitiated viewer and the contemporary art world, and the show creates a platform for her panel of art world professionals to demystify, in their own words, the most fundamental issues surrounding art and its place in broader society. And as a meta critique of the perceived gender imbalance of panel shows, all the show's guests will be female. Discussion topics range from art and celebrity to gender politics to the art market. Future episodes will coincide with and cover timely topics and events such as Miami Basel, The Armory Show, etc."

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Will these suckers be edible after premature opening and an ill-fitting lid?I started some pickles today using this recipe. All was well until about 4 hours after I had covered the jar and left it out to cool down to room temp. I picked up the jar to feel if it was still warm and noticed that a bit of pickle juice was leaking from the lid. Stupidly, I opened the jar and put a new lid on. I'm not certain that this lid is secure either; it may be a case of the lid not matching the jar. The jar is now sitting in the fridge with its new lid on. Anyway, my questions are: did I screw up my future snack by opening the jar a couple hours after the initial canning? And, if indeed the lid is not fitting on exactly right, is it a danger to eventually eat the pickles?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
What it says on the tin.

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