posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I've been sick and out of work for four days, and I'm probably going to be out for a couple more. The guilt and anxiety I'm feeling about this is...surprisingly overwhelming, and I feel like my sense of what's reasonable may be broken. (But how broken?) Help me think about this rationally.I work in an office, and I've been out since last Thursday, so even though I've only been off for four business days it's really six calendar days so far. I've never taken this much time off at once in my life without advance notice (and, yes, I realize that I've been privileged with relative good health/youth in this regard). I definitely have something once-every-five-years nasty, but I'm not, like, injured or hospitalization-worthy. I expect I'll be back on my feet in a few more days. I chose to take the time off rather than come to work sick as a privileged stand against presenteeism, and because I soldiered through sciatica last year without taking a single day off...which probably prolonged my discomfort for weeks or months. (And because my paid time off has been maxed out and no longer accruing for something like three years.) A lot of my responsibilities are largely invisible except in their absence, and my workplace is somewhat old-fashioned in that it probably places an unnecessarily high value on butt-in-seat time (asking to work from home, which is essentially what I'm doing, would probably be unthinkable). Also, though it isn't a formal part of my job, there's a strong expectation that I'm "interruptible" for most of the day in case someone needs to ask me to do something, and, obviously, I'm not interruptible while I'm out. However, I have been working diligently from home and have been available for conference calls, etc. Realistically I'm doing as much or more work than I would if I were physically present--I'm slower than normal because I feel crummy, take naps, etc. but this is balanced by the fact that I'm missing many of the "live" workplace interruptions that break my flow (I do realize that these things are also a legitimate part of my responsibilities, and that I'm failing to meet them in this regard). Overall, I'm putting in a solid 8+ hours per day, plus monitoring email over the weekend, vs. a variable 8-12 hours on a normal workday. And I feel terrible about it. Like I'm getting away with something, and should be punished. Like, if I push this for a day or two longer, I'll deserve unpleasant meeting with my boss and/or HR, or that I should be fired, etc. Do I also have a bad case of the Protestant work ethic, or should I be listening to my gut when it says that I'm violating very basic American workplace mores? I feel like we tend to give lip service to the idea that presenteeism is bad and you should stay home when you're sick, but in practice this means "stay home one, maybe three days in extreme cases, and then come back to work coughing and blowing your nose." (Who gets over even the common cold in one or two days? Whenever I have it, I'm symptomatic--and probably contagious--for a solid five to seven.)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Trump is coming to Japan from November 5 to 7, and I'd like to peacefully protest him with a sign. I can't find an event though, and I'm nervous about being alone.I don't have a lot of protest experience, but I'd really like to take this opportunity to actively protest my president while he's in-country. But, I would prefer to do this with other people, even one or two. It appears he's scheduled to golf with PM Abe on Sunday the 5th, which seems like my best bet (unless it rains). I keep waiting for Democrats Abroad to say something but they keep going on about a Halloween party. Is there another group, Japanese or American, that is or should be all over this? I know his visit could get canceled. I just want to be ready if he comes.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Cosmic Crisp is the next thing in apples -- 12 million cloned offsets to be planted, their apples in stores maybe in 2019. Higher prices for sweeter crisper fruit. Orchards in the US NE now put in irrigation when they replant; summers are dryer, water-tables lower, and we replant more often. That's a cost of fashion in apples; new trees have shallower roots. We used to grow more kinds; hundreds in the US, thousands across the world. A few survive in yards and hedgerows; there are detectives finding them. There's even an archive-orchard managed by the USDA. (You can order grafts!) And all these seem to come from five wild species, none tasty by modern standards, despite apples not fertilizing themselves well or replicating themselves closely by sexual propagation.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
So I am looking to hire an expert radiologist who specializes in brain and spine - or - 2 radiologists with expertise respectively in those 2 fields. Where can this be done ONLINE or in Israel? TIA

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Are there any contemporary examples of communes or intentional communities that are tech-centric -- that is, that sustain themselves economically through some clever use of computers?I've been reading about utopian communities in 19th century America, and the various ways they supported themselves economically. It seems that some of the more successful examples (such as the Oneida community in upstate New York) relied more on industry than agriculture. Given the changing nature of production, it got me wondering what tech communes are out there. I'm not really looking for examples of techno-utopianism. More intentional communities, preferably outside urban areas, where people are sustaining themselves through computers. I'd love to read about or even visit some modern examples! Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
What to drink with savory souffle at a sci-fi book club brunch?I'm hosting friends for brunch on Sunday and planning to serve a gruyere and thyme souffle, and later carrot cake. This group assembles approximately monthly and we usually have coffee and some form of bubbly, but I'd like to branch out. Searching for what to serve with souffle yields endless recommendations for white wine and prosecco--the opposite of what sounds good for a chilly October morning. I'd prefer something warm, but mulled wine seems too heavy, and coffee with Bailey's is tasty but obvious. Last winter I enjoyed many cups of chai tea with bourbon and orange, that doesn't seem like it will complement the souffle. I don't have cocktail gear, but my budget can definitely handle a couple of bottles of liquor, if that's the way to souffle bliss. We're reading Ancillary Justice so buckets of bonus points to anyone with ideas for themed beverages!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Tacky is also a way of saying, "That is too much." It's a way to say, "Hush." You're too loud, too bright, too attention-seeking. You take up too much space. You're too costume-y. You're too dramatic. Your excesses are not welcome here. Its antithesis is that old chestnut "flattering," which, in my experience, applies to any item of clothing that makes you seem smaller than you are, both in personality and in physical size. (See also "tasteful," which assumes a hell of a lot about whose taste you are trying to please.) An essay on tackiness, by Margaret Eby.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
So this might be a stretch but I bought the "Zag on em" pin shown here. It basically looks like a snake emoji with the words "Zag on em". I put it on my bag but then I was wondering if people would see that and think I'm some kind of Gadsden flag MAGA creep. Should I not have it on my bag? I don't want to make people feel unsafe when I'm commuting. Am I imagining a connection that most people aren't going to make?For reference, it's a reference from the podcast "My brother, my brother, and me" that is wholly positive and humane if you know what it is.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"...yet still nothing could have prepared us for Tuesday night: the worst game in Jeopardy! history. That, my friends, is the moment that then–two-day winner Manny Abell became a three-day winner with a sum of one (1) dollar, besting his opponents' combined total of zero (0) dollars. ... Our boy Manny, who entered Final Jeopardy in third, is responsible for the greatest abomination in the long history of Jeopardy!dom. And he will get to come back for more."

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I do not have the time or spoons for cleaning, and as of a couple of weeks ago, I can't physically do certain things for a while due to a herniated disc. Google searches are stupid for this: a few months back I got pages of results insisting that baking soda and vinegar was the most effective way to clean an oven. It failed miserably, and I ended up going the chemical burns route for actual effectiveness. Please err on the side of chemical burns.* Even seconds saved counts for a lot right now.Surfaces in our new-to-us home that are a particular challenge: travertine tile throughout (takes forever and a day to sweep with our standard broom and mop with our little wring mop, and it's still not clean afterwards); ceiling to floor natural stone tile showers; sliding glass shower doors; greasy gas stove. Suggestions for other typical home surfaces are also welcomed and greatly appreciated. It makes me happy to have at least a basic level of cleanliness going on, so I'd rather not let things go altogether. We cannot afford to bring in professional cleaners. *I've been using natural cleaners for years and vastly prefer to, but I Just Can't elbow grease right now.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My wife is trying to make costumes for Halloween and wants to find some cheap family pajama sets to embellish. The problem is there doesn't seem to be anywhere that sells simple cotton pajamas without patterns or frills. At best we have found heavy (and pricey) fleece pajamas and plain long johns (which are too thin and underwear-ish). Does something like this exist?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
In keeping with my previous theme of caveman phrasing... I have run out of new comedies to fall in love with. Help me find more?Things I love (with some reservations that are too lengthy to get into) include, but are not limited to: The Good Place Party Down Rick and Morty Community Parks and Rec Bob's Burgers Lucy, Daughter of the Devil Space Ghost Coast to Coast It's Always Sunny Simpsons 1-7 Key and Peele Inside Amy Schumer Futurama 1.0 Also, stand up! Patton Oswalt's latest seems pretty great Ali Wong Tig Notaro Maria Bamford Michelle Wolf (why doesn't she have a 30 min anywhere? does she?) probably about a zillion that I'm forgetting... Thank you in advance for your wonderful recommendations, I will laugh frequently and enthusiastically, because otherwise holy shit the world is on fire. But we still have comedy, so.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Hi, I am helping to start a literary magazine at my children's elementary school. The kids will (ideally) be very involved in designing and editing it. What software/sites/apps/etc. should we consider using to create and publish it? More inside...Hi, I am helping to start a literary magazine at my children's elementary school. The kids will (ideally) be very involved in designing and editing it. What software/sites/apps/etc. should we consider using to create and publish it? A few relevant details... We'd like to put out 2-3 digital editions and one print edition per year. Digital distribution should be easy -- via email and/or having a home on the web. Our design standards are high and we want it to look beautiful, but also we want the kids to be able to help with layout and design elements. So basically we're looking for something that is super user friendly and easy to learn, yet offers decent customization. Definitely want a rich, artsy experience and not an MS Word/Clip Art situation. Cost is an issue but it doesn't have to be free. We could make a one-time purchase but would look to avoid anything with ongoing costs. Also, anything that includes any kind of advertising would be a no go. The kid editorial team will be largely "high ability" 9-11 year olds. They don't need to carry out every step of the process but should feel a high degree of ownership. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and have been prescribed salt pills by my doctor. I feel sick every time I take them. Help?I had previously been prescribed salt tablets, and couldn't tolerate those. My doctor suggested that instead I just take plain table salt and put it in a gel capsule (these are the ones I bought)--since it's more natural and doesn't have any other additives he said I shouldn't have any problem with it. Well, I do. 5-10 minutes after taking the capsule, my stomach starts to feel bloated and sick. Sometimes this turns into actual pain and digestive upset. Drinking a ton of water beforehand seems to lessen the chance I'll be in pain, but the bloating and nausea seem to be present no matter how much water I drink. I always take them after food so my stomach isn't empty. The nausea/pain doesn't always last very long, but sometimes I feel pretty sick for up to an hour. I'm supposed to take them three times a day and I can barely handle it once. I definitely can't take it on days when I have classes in the morning and over lunch, because I can't risk being sick in class. But I need to find some way to take them. I can't do the major thing my doctor suggested for my condition (aquatherapy) because, per his explanation, the reason I can't exercise for more than 5 minutes without dying is I don't have enough salt "fueling" me. I can't see him until December and I don't want to wait that long to start on aquatherapy. A couple of questions: 1) Is this just a case of my body needs to get used to it? Should I start with one salt pill a day and work my way up? Will the awfulness eventually go away? 2) Is there anything else I can do to make the nausea/bloating/pain go away? Preferably, keep it from happening at all? I am willing to drink ten billion different kinds of magical herbal teas if that is what must be done. 3) Is just using any table salt fine? Or would a different type of salt be less likely to upset my stomach?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
The new law, banning employers from asking about salary history, goes into effect Jan 1, 2018. AB 168 also requires employers to provide the pay scale on request - no more, "tell us what you made before, and we'll tell you if you might be a candidate for the position." This has the potential to reshape the contractor-based industries. The new law says, "An employer, upon reasonable request, shall provide the pay scale for a position to an applicant applying for employment." It doesn't say, "shall provide pay scale for those applicants who are being seriously considered for the job." It means info about job rates will be public, and job-seekers can compare rates across companies. The law was enacted to prevent discrimination against women based on past discrimination; it looks like a tremendous boon to anyone who's looking to switch industries, or who's been stuck in a low-wage job while they learned more skills and had more responsibilities heaped on them. It also means hiring managers will be scrambling to figure out how to rate applicants if they can't use past salary as their quick y/n for "is this person maybe a fit for this position?"

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
How the Sacklers, especially Arthur, helped create the current opiod crisis.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Now that temperatures are dipping, I need a new jacket/coat. Help me find one (or two) that I can wear in the Bay Area (walking around and bike commuting) and in DC in January. Aesthetic - boring classic. Caveats - must be vegan, should be good for rain.Now that it's getting kind of cold at nights, I realized I finally need a new jacket/coat. The requirements: Must be rainproof Must be vegan - no leather, no down, no wool Suitable for a range of temperatures with layers Decent pockets for storing things like phone, keys, wallet Classic look like the Penfield Kasson or something similar that skews more masculine than feminine Right now I'm leaning to this jacket from Bridge and Burn. My current jacket (not rainproof) is from them, and it's OK. I would prefer something a bit more masculine though. I do like this men's jacket from them, but I am a short, round woman with hips and don't think it will fit. It would be nice to be able to wear this to bike to work as well, but I will also concede if I need to get a different jacket to bike to work in. (I currently use a shell which is OK, but not warm at all.) If you have recommendations for jackets for cycling in mild wet weather, I'd love those too. I'd prefer not to spend a ton of money on it (~ $150) but would go higher if it's great and will last years since I tend to be outside a lot.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
It turns out I'm the only geek in the life of a 7 year old girl, which means I'm responsible for nurturing the geeky side of her. Help me find a birthday present for her?My first option was a USB microscope, but it turns out none of the android devices available support USB OTG and I have lots of memories of smashing slides on the proper microscope I had as a boy. So, I'm open to any suggestions. She loves her kindle, dolls, nature, batman, and Lego. But she's not the most focussed of kids and things that involve too much fiddling with parts put her off.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My sister used to own this mug and has lost it. I'd like to get her a new one for Christmas, but can't find it anywhere on the web. I think she bought it in Edinburgh, Scotland. Can you help me find it online? Thanks!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
dogs trying on halloween costumes | cats trying on halloween costumes

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I had laparascopic gallbladder surgery on Monday at a small private hospital in England, subcontracted by the NHS. When I came to after general anaesthesia, I was told that my pulse had dropped to 28bpm during the surgery and I'd had to have an injection to speed it back up. The anaesthetist actually said to me that "it was scary!" During recovery my pulse dropped again to 31 and was up and down over about 24 hours before stabilising at my normal RHR of about 50bpm (I'm not an athlete but have always had a slow heart rate).After the surgery I had difficulty urinating. On the first day I could only go a few drops and on the second day just a little dribble at a time. I had to be catheterized three times and on the third day I was finally able to urinate almost normally in terms of flow rate but still had urinary retention of about 450ml. I was sent home and told if I stopped being able to urinate or became uncomfortable I should go to the emergency room. I'm now home, urinating pretty much normally and feeling good. During my entire recovery I was attended to by nurses and didn't get a chance to talk to any doctors apart from the "scared anaesthetist" but at that point I was still pretty out of it. I do have an appointment to see the surgeon for follow up in 3 weeks and would like some advice on what to ask about. Basically: 1. How concerned should I be about what happened? 2. Should I try to insist on a referral to a specialist such as a cardiologist or urologist? 3. If I need surgery in future (I've been told I may need a hysterectomy at some point) how scared should I be?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I am a white, non-religious woman in the US. Is it unprofessional or culturally appropriative for me to cover my hair with a scarf every day?I have frizzy curly hair and I also have trichotillomania. I've got a great haircut but it's a lot of work, I have the trich under control but that's also a lot of work. The upshot is there have been quite a few days when I just don't have time/can't deal, so I throw on a kerchief/scarf and call it done. Like this, or this, or with a regular bandana and the ends tucked up. Not having to style my hair is a relief and some of the scarves are pretty cute. But I worry that that wearing a scarf every day, or even most days, comes across as somehow weird or unprofessional--or worse, culturally appropriative. I am white, in my mid-30's, and I work at a large university in New England with a diverse population. Many women on campus wear head coverings (e.g. black women, Muslim women, Hindu women, Orthodox Jewish women, and probably some others). But I am not a member of any of those groups and I am sensitive to any implication that could cause offense. I also need to dress professionally for work and worry about being seen as dressing less professionally because of my hair choices. Additionally, I am somewhat active in the Jewish community and don't want to give people the wrong impression (I am a liberal non-observant Jew, but I do go to Chabad for stuff). Am I overthinking this? Would this styling meet business casual in your white-collar office? If you are a woman from a group that covers your hair, would you find it strange for someone like me to wear a scarf every day? And if you don't think it's weird or appropriative, can you suggest some styles that would be both professional/adult/polished? (I did see this question, it just made me more worried since I am already doing this, like, every day.)

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
While Google Street View may have made it easy to see the world from a roadway (also, also), as well as other selected locations, allowing some people to curate artistic and fascinating vistas from the automated panoramas, since 1999 Untraveled road allows travelers to document scenic views themselves and identify must-see locations for fellow travelers. While focused on the United States and more specifically National Parks and Monuments, as well as US highways, Canada, England and Italy are also represented. If you don't know where to start, check out locations popular today.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault. It turns out that being assaulted is a lot of work; I've got all sorts of things I need to keep track of, and other parts of my life aren't being attended to (normal things like dealing with my budget, and accomplishing bureaucratic tasks related to things like health insurance, savings accounts, etc.). Could an organizer help me get my affairs in order? I guess I'm looking for someone who can help me for an afternoon or two to deal with all these things that feel like I can't quite manage on my own.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
DestructionNation posted a series of videos where they drive virtual vehicles over 100 consecutive speed bumps at high speeds in the simulation video game, BeamNG.drive. Oddly relaxing and hypnotic.

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