posted 1 day ago on metafilter
A male equivalent of "fashionista?"First off, I know that grammatically, "fashionista" can be male or female. An acquaintance of mine from way back when once told me an excellent word that meant a well-dressed man -- as in one who pays a lot of attention to his appearance. (He used it, semi-jokingly, as a more "manly" version of "fashionista.") It's definately only one word, and it's not "dandy." I seem to recall it beginning with "c" or "m" (though I could be wrong) and that it had a vaguely French or Spanish sound to it. I am wracking my brains trying to remember it. Can anyone hope me?

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I applied for a scholarship to do a Masters program starting next April, but I might also be offered an internship that starts then. If offered the scholarship, I'm 90% sure that I would be able to start the Masters in October instead, but I'm not certain. Can you help me decide what to do? Details within.Both options would allow me to move where I want to move (different cities, but the same general area). The internship would be paid and I definitely need the professional work experience. However, it's only six months long and while there's the possibility of being offered a job afterwards, it's not guaranteed. I have a small amount of savings that would allow me to job hunt for a couple of months afterwards, but no longer. If offered the scholarship, I would definitely be spending two years where I want to live. However, I think that the chances of being offered the scholarship are quite a bit lower than being offered the internship. I'm quite certain that I would be allowed to accept the scholarship for April or October, but I'm anxious about clarifying that in case it hurts my chances while they're still deciding who receives it. I won't find out the outcome until about March. I could ask to be considered for an internship in October instead, however if I am accepted into the Masters program, the internship wouldn't fit into my course progression. There might be the option of doing another internship at the later date. I don't feel super confident about the scholarship application, so I don't really want to put the internship off until October while hoping for the scholarship. If I don't get the scholarship, I'll have to deal with that disappointment and also the delay in doing things. The ideal situation would be to do the internship and then the Masters, but I'm scared that by trying to keep all my options open, I'm going to mess up both of them. At the moment I am strongly leaning towards saying yes to the internship and then worrying about the scholarship later - if I even get it! - but I am worried that if it turns out I couldn't delay the scholarship, I'll end up messing up potentially my only chance to be able to do a Masters. Is there a way that I can enquire about the flexibility of scholarship dates without them thinking I am flaky and taking myself out of the running? (Sorry if I am asking too many questions. I'm really stressed out about this)

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Now that my wife's been bitten by the radio bug, the desire to do a show/podcast is starting to sink its teeth into me as well. The high-concept idea that I'm working with is to do a 16-part series that are all the soundtrack to a forgotten movie -- the title of the movie is the same every week, but the movie itself changes.So say the title of the show is "Griffon and the Big One". In Week One, Griffon and the Big One is a forgotten movie from 1984: Jessica Lange is a widowed mother of three living in California, whose oldest son lives in paralyzing fear of the giant earthquake that will wipe the state off the map. Week Two, Griffon and the Big One is a 1978 forgotten family-friendly classic about a St. Bernard and a pet hamster that travel across the country to reunite with their family. Week Three, Griffon and the Big One is a forgotten Lee Marvin vehicle that pairs him with a youthful Kurt Russell as an oddly matched duo of retired detective and crime-solving scamp. Etc. I don't think Griffon and the Big One is really the best option here. But I'm looking for great ideas for fake-movie names that are both super intriguing ("what's that show? I totally want to listen to it!") and kind of super-adaptable (could be a cartoon about teddy bears; might be a drama about leukemia). What's my show/movie called, MetaFilter?

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm considering pursuing a degree to further my career in child welfare, educational and cultural non-profits. As I'd love to spend time living abroad and I wouldn't get into a especially impressive school here in the US, I'm wondering if it would be useless to get my degree from a university in Europe (most likely in the UK). If it is worth doing, what schools should I be looking at? Would I be eligible for any sort of financial aid?

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
This wasn't a reality show, nor was it one of the elite bookings Anna enjoyed back in New York or Milan. We were there for a fake beauty pageant, one our Beijing modeling agency had booked us for, telling us it was a "fashion show" and providing no further details. It was only after we boarded our early-morning flight to Ordos that the true nature of the event was revealed. "We're on our way to another 'Miss' thing," a Ukrainian girl said from her seat with a groan. I was hired as Miss America; Anna, despite being Brazilian, as Miss Chile. It would have been the strangest 36 hours of my life—if, over the previous two months, I hadn't done it twice before. Life as a Fake Beauty Queen in Small-Town China

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Which books explore the question "What does it mean to have lived well"?I'm looking for examples of fiction--any genre, any century--that explore different metrics for living well. I.e. maybe the good life is lived through material wealth? or spirituality? Or maybe it is through serving others. Or having a family. Or...? You get the idea. Especially examples that knocked your own socks off enough to materially affect how you chose to live your own life. But only fiction!!

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Basically, our company would like to replace aim for our office instant messaging solution. After much googling and some testing, the top two currently on my list are hipchat and slack.I did see this similar question last year: Best-suggestions-for-Team-Communication-and-Collaboration-Tools Others that I've looked at and could certainly be reconsidered: hall unison lync hangouts We are a non-profit and so anything involving much of a cost was pretty quickly disqualified. Hipchat, Slack and a few others offer a free option for non-profits which is a huge plus. Does anyone have recent first hand experience with both Hipchat and Slack? What made you take the plunge with one after trying the other? (slack seems to be growing a little faster and might eventually be the better option, but I'm concerned that the lack of a real client for windows will make overall adoption difficult) I would say that our needs are not that great, but I'd like to be able to administer whatever we choose. The free version of slack is already in use by one department in the office. This wouldn't necessarily need to change if we move to something else, especially if it integrates with slack. We use other atlassian products if that helps put a point in hipchat's favor.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
What are the loudest, shrillest, most brutal metal albums of all time? I want cacophonous, demonic noise. The hardest of the hard stuff. It doesn't have to come from any particular metal subgenre, and it doesn't even have to be stuff you've liked. As long as it is being as extreme as possible.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
"HVNGRY is an online publication for teen girls (and boys) wanting more from mainstream media. It's a belly full of inspiration, motivation, passion, power, and taking-over-the-world." This digital magazine aimed at teenagers was designed by a group of New Zealand students who wanted magazines for teenage girls to contain more than diet plans, fashion and tips for pleasing men. Instead this magazine has features like: How tos from perspectives you don't often see in teenage girls' magazines: How to get over embarrassment about your body in a swimsuit, how to feel powerful Inspirational pieces on female scientists: e.g. Jane Goodall, Ada Lovelace Confessionals: e.g. How a show about killing vampires makes me feel okay with the world , I was a manic pixie dreamgirl. And pieces about everyday phenomena: e.g. The Grammar Police and new uses of "like", and Periods.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
The Governor of New York Owes an Apology to a Bunch of Meteorologists Governor Cuomo's attempt to scapegoat the National Weather Service for an inaccurate forecast in advance is not only completely in error–the NWS did an outstanding job–but is a disservice to the public and to the hard-working staff of this federal agency.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Software testing job interviews: help me ask the important questions.I'll probably be interviewing for some software testing jobs in the near future. The job I have now is the first testing job I ever got... and I've been there for almost a decade. Obviously some of the questions I will ask will pertain directly to the nature of the work. I know I don't want to be a full-time automator so I'll make sure that I cover that area well. Things like whom I'd report to, what their role is in the organization, seem pretty obvious to me. Agile/waterfall is an important area too, although I have only a cave-shadow idea of what Agile is in practice. So I might miss some important questions there because of lack of domain knowledge. Let me know your thoughts, even if you're a developer/business analyst/PM/ITwhatnot and not a tester. Agile developers who've worked with testers, I would like very much to hear from you.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm visiting New York for Thanksgiving. I'm driving from Pittsburgh to Manhattan and I arrive late tomorrow. I'm staying in the Upper West Side through Saturday, but I'm spending Thanksgiving with family in Monroe, NY. I have one night booked at a hotel in that area. Where can I conveniently and cheaply park my car in Manhattan for 5 days? How can I get from Manhattan to Monroe, NY, reliably and cheaply? I'm currently planning to park on the street and take the Port Jervis line.On a previous trip to New York, I parked my car on a street near my accommodations, which was also in the Upper West Side. I had to move it once for street sweeping, but I only had to think about it that once all week. I don't really care if my car is near where I'm staying. I'll leave my car in Queens if I only have to drop it off, pick it up and maybe move it once. I'd rather park it far away and not have to move it at all then park it closer and have to re-park later. I'm particularly concerned about moving and re-parking my car on Black Friday. How does that affect parking? What about Thanksgiving Saturday? Is there some insider trick to finding parking in New York? I've taken trains to NJ and CT on past trips and it's always seemed reliable and stress free. Will Thanksgiving mess that up? I called NJ Transit and there's a train that matches my schedule. It's due to leave Penn Station at 1:11pm. When do I need to get there to be reasonably assured of getting a seat? Is it already too late? Can I buy a ticket in advance? Are the trains likely to run on time? Would it be easier to drive? I'm not a native and I've never been in town on Thanksgiving. I just assumed that the holiday makes driving completely impractical. It looks like my hostel (103rd and Amsterdam) is over a mile north of the parade route. Am I over-thinking this? Can I just mosey into Manhattan, park at leisure and then leave as if it were any other Thursday? Is it enough to avoid the UWS? Could I park anywhere else in Manhattan and then have a clear shot across the Holland Tunnel? I'm willing to avoid Manhattan entirely. I'm happy to park anywhere in NYC within reasonable walking distance of the subway. Is there somewhere to park in Queens or the Bronx? Could I avoid Manhattan entirely by heading north to the Tappan Zee Bridge? If I take the train up, I should be able to get a ride back. If I drive, then I'll need to find another parking space on Black Friday. Will that be possible? Bonus Points: Can you park my car near the most delicious thing you've ever eaten that will be open on Thanksgiving? I'd prefer not to fast all day and then gorge myself at dinner. Thank you.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
You'd think this would be an easy thing to Google, but it's not.I'm trying to locate a New Yorker story, published in the Talk of the Town section of the magazine probably 3 or 4 years ago. The premise of the story is that the reporter has to make his way across an entire Manhattan city block without ever going outside. He dashes through the back rooms of stores and passes through all sorts of unmarked doors, and finally he does it: he makes it to the other side of the block. From what I recall, it's a really fine example of non-news reporting; totally frivolous but fun to read. If anyone remembers the story in enough detail to find it online, I'd be grateful for a link.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Please help me select, buy, and actually wear accessories/jewelry that look great and make me happy—from scratch. I need best practices, inspiration photos, or just that One Weird Trick that makes you look great and put-together every day. Go!So I've been dialing in my clothes situation, and I suspect accessories are the next step to having A Look that feels more finished. My general style has landed on fairly polished, almost austere—slim jackets, cigarette pants, just-so slouchy sweaters. I wear a lot of conventionally feminine things like pointed-toe heels and pencil skirts but kind of in a hard, not-girly way, and my hair is a VERY short asymmetrical pixie. I usually like a little softness or surprise to temper the general hardass aesthetic, with mixed textures (handknits, silk, raw-edge wool) or one super-femme thing like leopard print pumps. Or—this question is from my apparent style twin, down to the black and gray and gold. Specific things I struggle with: Understanding when I need an accessory. I often look at myself and despite liking the outfit feel like it needs...something, a visual stinger of some kind. I like my general minimalism so maybe it's not about something big, but more like wearing exactly the right black belt or piece of (small) jewelry? How do I know what it is? Or if it IS about bolder touches, how do I do that well? Especially statement jewelry; for example I would love to wear a super-simple outfit with a fantastic necklace but whenever I do this it looks wrong and incomplete, like pajamas and a tiara. Is it about silhouette, or fabrics, or what? UGH. Combining items and not wearing too many or too few things (I already wear a chunky-ish rose gold watch and thick black plastic-framed glasses every day). Can I mix metals? Can I wear jewelry AND other accessories together? Hair stuff? Confidence—obviously the self-consciousness is not helping me get better at this. I would be more confident about accessorizing if I at least thought I had done a great job, but...I never do. Finding things I love—where do grown-ups buy jewelry and accessories that are cheap (under $30) but don't look cheap for fun/novelty items, and not expensive (under $100) for everyday/workhorse pieces? Things that I know I do like: 1) Metal jewelry, with a tendency toward hard/geometric shapes. I like organic things sometimes but more like one big unpolished stone than delicate floral or fauna motifs. 2) Interesting textiles, for a very specific value of interesting that tends to mean overall plain but richly textured and imperfect up close, like handwoven fabrics or raw weaves. ...And that's it. But I know there are more things out there! Basically I need help developing a point of view or sense of taste about accessories, and help developing a critical eye about them on me as part of an overall outfit, not random add-ons. I've been very specific about my tastes here, but I think general tips for thinking about accessorizing, no matter your own style, would totally help me out—I'm basically starting from zero here. Thanks, well-accessorized AskMeFites!!

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I am attending a social event in a few weeks where everyone is attending dressed as a version of Santa Claus. I have no problem with dressing as a normal Santa -- but that is too easy! Any ideas for a (more) creative Santa costume/outfit?Also, I am open to buying something (vs making it myself)

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I am hoping to find the US equivalent to the Australian "What Bird is That?" book and my google fu is failing me.I am an Aussie now living in the US and trying to find out more about the birds that visit my many feeders. I am not looking for a basic pocket field guide I have those but I am looking for an indepth book that details more than the most common species. The book I am comparing it to, is my "What Bird is That?" book that served me well for years when I lived in Australia, it has pretty much every bird you could come across in the country and included information on juvenile colouring, colour variations etc as well as info on what the birds eat, call, nesting habits etc. As well as amazing drawings. I am looking for the US version. Size is not an issue, the book I am comparing it to is huge, in fact the bigger & more info the better, hell multi volume if needed as long as it has a lot of info. I'd prefer a reputable source, and if the cost of the book helps a group that supports birding etc instead of just a publisher even better. I am happy with drawings or photos of the birds. The "What Bird is That?" book groups birds by location (swamp, grassland etc) not species to make it easier to find the bird you are looking for when you don't know much about birds. So it would be nice there was a US book set out the same way as I found it very intuitive to use. If such a thing doesn't exist in the US, I live in the Midwest now, in Northern Indiana so an regional guide with the same sort of detail I'm after would also be good. Or if you can recommend any other books you think I might find interesting. I am not a birder per se, in that I don't go out hunting for birds to watch, I just love watching the ones that I see as I go about my daily life and like to know what they are up to.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
13 amazing food and life hacks you need to know right now.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
The Shack Up Inn is a hospitality institution just outside of historic Clarksdale, Mississippi. Their FAQ page helpfully provides information regarding any questions you might have about amenities, bedding quality, or Didelphimorphia reproduction.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
You're not really supposed to try to find this sign up-close in person, you're supposed to look at it from a distance. Arguments begin on how short that distance can be... Chronologically, today's take on the issue starts with some instructions for those most ambitious tourists who really want to see the hollywood sign up close but culminates in a new [lightly buried lede alert] Gizmodo article detailing the efforts being used to cut off access to the sign.

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
How do I pick the right therapist to help with my anxiety, stress, indecisiveness, and perfectionist tendencies? What kinds of therapy/techniques/approaches might be most helpful? How do I quickly assess whether to stick with someone or look elsewhere? What are reasonable expectations of how much I can improve in therapy and how quickly? I'm terrible at making decisions-- I need help! (Especially since we want to start trying for kids in a few months so I feel real urgency to make progress quickly to feel comfortable going ahead, for both my and the kid's sake.) DC-area, FYI.Skip the details if you want, but here's more about me: I have general anxiety disorder, usually decently manageable in low-stress times but which can flare up and make me pretty miserable under even medium-stress conditions (like home-buying and making big decisions after the inspection, which I imagine is far easier than pregnancy and parenting.) And even day to day, while I can certainly function, I have a hard time really relaxing and enjoying myself, and I just spend a lot of time worried and stressed about what's not getting done on my to-do list, or whether that weird symptom is actually life-threatening, or what other people are thinking about me. It's kind of exhausting being me and I'm increasingly realizing how much this stuff interferes with me feeling truly happy and satisfied about my life. And it seems likely it will get worse in pregnancy/postpartum/as a parent (worrying about miscarriage/something happening to the kid/how the choices I make are going to screw up the kid) unless I address it in advance, right? I also have a terrible time making decisions... even easy ones like what to have for dinner or what birthday card to buy (although I've gotten better at being able to kick myself out of that loop once I catch myself.) But if something seems Really Important to me-- such as anything that could have any health consequences or significant financial consequences or whatever-- it's incredibly hard for me to stop short of feeling almost positive that I'm making the absolute best choice. (It took me 7 years of dating my husband to decide to get engaged.) And what's more Really Important than things that affect the health and well-being of your kids? I know there will be SO many decisions ahead (it's already started with choices around prenatal vitamins, which I've researched and agonized over) and it seems like it could get really paralyzing and miserable. I've toyed with the idea of anti-anxiety meds and actually got a prescription once but never took it because I was too anxious about side effects. After reading and thinking more about meds and about my issues, I think if I wasn't looking to get pregnant soon I'd want to give meds a try. But while I know SSRIs aren't super high risk in pregnancy, there do seem to be risks. But then again apparently stress and anxiety in pregnancy is pretty bad for the baby, and leads to higher rates of postpartum depression and anxiety which are obviously bad for the baby and for me. So I'd really like to make some progress in getting less anxious and stressed without meds. I've been in therapy in the past, and it's helped modestly but not all that dramatically. (Most of the therapists I've worked with have had CBT as part of a mix of techniques they use, but the therapy wasn't super-focused CBT work.) There were a couple folks I only did one or a few sessions with, and a couple others I stayed with for months/years making slow progress when I probably should have looked for someone better sooner (but I stayed because I was trying to fight my tendency to hunt for the perfect therapist-- and because I knew that between my ADHD and my indecisiveness (and my busy schedule) it ends up being months between therapists even when I intend to find a new one immediately.) As I said, my problems with being indecisive mean I get really anxious and uncomfortable if I feel like that I haven't done enough to find the best possible outcome, so it's really hard to figure out how much of my "this therapist doesn't seem good enough" feelings to trust, and sometime I end up going the total opposite direction to try to counter-balance it. Maybe slow progress is all I can really expect? I hope not, I hope there are ways to improve things more deeply and more quickly, but I don't know, and that's part of what's made it hard in the past to know who to pick and whether to stay, when I'm wondering whether my expectations are too high or too low or what. What are reasonable expectations for how much I can improve in therapy and how quickly? Anyway, I'm ready to find another therapist again, and I'm hoping I can find a really good one. But I need help figuring out what I should be looking for, who I should contact (i.e. folks who use technique X or have experience with Y), what kinds of questions I should ask them/what kinds of things I should discuss with them in initial consultations/first visits, and how I should decide relatively early on whether to stay or go. TL;DR-- I am bad at decisions, y'all. Can you help me figure out how to pick a good therapist to help me with my anxiety and other issues? (P.S. I would also be delighted to get specific recommendations of particular therapists-- I'm in the DC area. Especially great if you know they take insurance/Cigna.)

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm attending a wedding in Mumbai this upcoming weekend and am having a crisis of apparel.My husband and I were invited to a wedding in Mumbai; we leave in 2 days and I'm second-guessing all of my clothing options. The groom is a college friend of my husband. To my knowledge, we will be the only "western" guests in attendance (there will be several other alums from our university but they're also Indian). There are 3 days of "semi-formal" events: Mata Ki Chowki, Mehendi, Pithi Pawna, etc. There are 2 evenings of "formal" events: Sangeet, Baraat, Wedding, Reception, etc. All events will be at the 5-star hotel where we will also be staying. Groom told husband to wear shirt and trousers to semi formal events and full suit to formal events (did not/cannot provide help for female attire). However, he also said there are no set rules and we can wear whatever we're comfortable in (but is this genuine?? agh!). Questions: -I know red is the color the bride wears, but is red off-limits for the events other than the wedding? An Indian friend said that I would be fine wearing red b/c it would be nothing like the wedding saree, but now I'm reading conflicting things online and second-guessing my choices. I have a tea-length red dress I was going to wear to one of the semi-formal events and a floor-length maroon dress I was going to wear to the sangeet. Both are solid colors w/ no embellishments, I'd be wearing with a shawl in a different non-red/non-gold color, and they tick all of the "conservative" clothing boxes. Can I do this or is this the worst idea ever? -What's the general consensus on wearing local attire? I'm not going to attempt a saree (I do not have the grace required to pull that off and do not expect to have assistance with draping). But would consider a lehenga or anarkali for the formal events or a churidar kameez for the semi formal events. Yay or nay? -I am 5'11" (180cm), and have been told not to expect any ready-to-wear items to be even close to being long enough (I'll be wearing flats to all events). If it's ok to wear local attire, is there a place in Mumbai to have it made-to-measure with a quick (i.e., 1 day) turnaround? If so, how much should I expect this to cost? -Are there any other things I should be aware of apparel/beauty-wise? I would like to avoid offending/upsetting anyone; your assistance is greatly appreciated!

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I regularly delete my messages from my droid. I have a bunch of protected messages that I have locked and they always stay there when I delete all of the thread. I just went to look for one of those messages and they are all gone!!!!!!!!!! Is there any way to retrieve these? I see a bunch of threads on the net, but can't find anything that works HELP!!!!!!!!

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
So last year's mix CD was quite a hit. Now the baby's turning 18. Got any ideas about songs that reference being/turning 18? Especially for a girl?So far I got Alice Cooper and either the Derrick Harriot or Pete Wingfield version of '18 with a Bullet'. Thanks!

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Paul Ford explains the long road to HTML5 and the web standardisations process in the New Yorker. In "Gathering of the Player Men at Buffalo," the Music Trade Review described a heady scene in which Mr. P. B. Klugh, speaking for the Cable Company, said that it had adopted "the nine-to-the-inch scale" and that "they were not open to argument on the subject, as such a scale had given entire satisfaction." Swayed, the manufacturers resolved the issue in favor of Klugh. As a result, we now live in a world where nine-holes-per-inch piano rolls are the standard. You would be a fool to build a player piano to any other metric. Of course, the Web page is far more complex. It requires dozens of standards, governing words, sounds, pictures, interactions, protocols, code, and more. The role of Web parliament is played by the W3C, the World Wide Web Consortium. This is a standards body; it organizes meetings that allow competing groups to define standards, shepherding them from a "working draft" to "candidate recommendation" and "proposed recommendation," and finally, if a standard has been sufficiently poked and prodded, granting the ultimate imprimatur, "W3C recommendation."

Read More...
posted 1 day ago on metafilter
"Every month, Netflix quietly clears its virtual shelves to prepare for the arrival of new offerings. There are roughly 80 movies expiring from Netflix Instant at the end of November. We've picked seven that we think you should make sure to watch before they're no longer streaming – one for each night until Dec. 1." (Paste Magazine)

Read More...