posted 1 day ago on metafilter
A distant but very dear friend of mine is in need of help. She is currently in the hospital and doesn't have many local friends. I'm in Wisconsin and she's in Louisiana so there are physical limits to what I can do, but I want to do something! Also I don't want to burden her by asking her what I can do to help. Please give me suggestions, ideas, anything I can do to help her.My friend's life has been really hard the last few years. She's very socially isolated, and she's been living in the house she inherited from her dad when he died, becoming more and more housebound. I think she's been looking for reasons to stay alive and not finding enough of them. She has two cats who have been in cages at the vet for a month. She will be getting physical therapy at the rehab center for another few weeks and just needs someone to look after them until then. She can't have a petsitter at her house due to renovations. In the meantime, she is beating herself up for not being able to look after her pets, and for her situation in general creating this stress for them. I am trying to find someone to foster her cats at least, but haven't had much response from shelters and rescues I've contacted - and the responses I have had have been along the lines of how to surrender the cats! Can anyone nearby suggest another solution? I know there are probably other things I can do to help as well, so please hit me with all your suggestions!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I lost this hoodie many years ago, and have never found the like. Anyone know of something like it/very similar?I've thought about getting one made for a while, but I thought maybe someone on here could point me in a direction?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
What was that song from 2008 - 2009?Ok, I can't believe I have to use a question for this - Back in 2008 - 2009, there was a song. Part of the melody popped in to my head tonight, but I cannot for the life of me remember the rest enough to look it up and listen to it. The singer was male, the tune was a little blue and jazzy and had the refrain "loving you is" or maybe "is not" something or other. It seems to have been very popular but I can't find anything that I recognize on top 40 lists from those two years, but it had to be prior to the spring of 2009. Maybe as far back as 2007, but I doubt it. It was about unrequited love, perhaps, or loving someone who was cold, or hot and cold? The music video, if I recall correctly, had a close up of someone pressing on a drum pedal. It might have been in black and white. Please hope, I don't know that I'll be able to sleep until you or Google can fix this brain fart for me.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
The Wikipedia list of "LGBT people from New York" includes Howard Stern. I don't think the "LGBT" part is accurate, but I don't see any way to edit it. How can I fix this?This also shows up at the bottom of Stern's Wikipedia page (under "Categories," which can't be edited). I can't see any way to remove items from the list of "LGBT people from New York" page. I do have a Wikipedia account and I have edited Wikipedia before, but if there's some obvious way to do this, it's not clear to me. I've clicked "help" on categories and haven't found anything useful. As Wikipedia says, Stern is married to a woman. This is his second marriage, and his previous marriage was also to a woman (with whom he had 3 children). Wikipedia also lists other women he's dated. Wikipedia doesn't mention Stern ever dating any men, and his Wikipedia page doesn't include the word "bisexual" (or "straight" or "gay" or "homosexual" or "heterosexual"). Googling for lists of who Stern has dated turns up lists of women. Googling for info about whether Stern is bisexual doesn't turn up anything relevant that I can see. I've listened to many hours' worth of Stern's show, and he reveals a lot of personal info about himself, but I don't remember him ever hinting at being bisexual (or transgender). Stern is always expressing his sexual attraction to women. AskMe has never before considered the possibility that Stern could be bisexual. Also, Wikipedia's policy on LGBT lists is that "living persons must self-identify as LGBT," and I don't think Stern "self-identifies as LGBT." So, am I wrong, and if not, how can I edit Wikipedia to fix this?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"How SJWs Always Lie About Our Comparative Popularity Levels Kindle Edition" In the wake of this year's kerpupple surrounding the Hugo awards, Alexandra Erin has created a Kindle book in response to Theodore Beale's (Vox Day) Amazon release of "SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police". At first it was merely a joke prompted by her twitter feed but then File770 got involved and suddenly John Scalzi is looking into doing a dramatic reading via audiobook with the profits going to the charitable organization "Con or Bust" Scalzi has tweeted a review of the book saying "This may be the best and truest book ever written in the history of humanity and I encourage everyone to buy it." but seriously ... can he be trusted?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The Rise of the Abortion Doula As Abortions Become Harder to Obtain, Pro-Choice Activists Eschew Policy Debates for Flesh and Blood Activism The Job of an Abortion Doula My Year As an Abortion Doula True Story: I'm An Abortion Doula On Being an Abortion Doula: The range of emotions involved in helping women terminate pregnancies

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I've put all my career eggs into a single basket. Can you help me come up with some alternate ideas? Scared chicken inside.I've been out of the official workforce for a few years. In that time, I've been caregiving, doing casual work, and upgrading my mediocre GPA to prepare for applications to fairly competitive master's-level programs in allied health. I've run into a couple of hiccups. I'm working on addressing those, but want to explore ideas for a fallback plan. My criteria: 1) employers might at least entertain the idea of hiring me; 2) the work is suited to me in some way; and 3) it provides a hope of achieving a vaguely middle-class lifestyle within the next five years, and the opportunity to save a bit for my later years. (I am closing out my thirties.) Hoping for some assistance exploring possibilities I don't know about or may have overlooked. *** Education: BA in a social science; a couple of now-useless certs in dead industries; most of a second BA. Work history: junior to mid-level admin/coordinator/jack of all trades (small non-profits & higher ed); various entry-level jobs in publishing (this is going way back); ESL instructor (unqualified); tutor. Of my experiences so far, I've found tutoring and teaching the most rewarding. I loved working directly with motivated (adult) learners, and seeing them progress. As mentioned, I wasn't qualified, but one strength seemed to be intuiting how and why students struggled with particular concepts, and finding ways of tailoring explanations so that they made sense for a given student. (I found the "diagnostic" aspect of that work especially interesting.) Teaching is out, due to a longstanding glut of teachers in my area, but perhaps jobs involving similar functions are out there. I've been described as "personable". I'm pretty good at quickly establishing a rapport with people, from all walks of life. I'm a good listener; strangers and acquaintances often surprise themselves by divulging things they normally wouldn't, in both personal and work settings. I think this is because I'm just really interested in people, and am willing to give them focused attention. (I think it might also be because I seem to have a bit of a knack for asking questions at the right time, if I may say so. In work settings, this has been helpful in getting unofficial background information, and in situations involving negotiation and "soft" persuasion.) I'm just about equally extraverted and introverted. WRT personal exchanges - I'm more than happy to provide any support or encouragement I can when people seem to want or need it, but am sometimes drained when people get into very difficult emotional territory, or need more support than I'm able to provide. I'm not terribly comfortable when people express very strong negative emotions, or in the presence of conflict. (I mention this because social work, psychology, and related fields always come up as recommendations on career assessments, but I'm moving against those ideas for this reason. Also, because I think I'd be a strong candidate for burnout. And because the problems for which people usually see social workers or counsellors don't often have easy or tangible solutions. I like quick, obvious wins. Also, because of those hiccups I mentioned. ) I very much enjoy troubleshooting, and devising creative solutions to practical problems. I've received praise for making improvements to work processes and systems in the past. (One area of at least casual interest is ergonomic design / usability. I often notice design flaws in objects, and have ideas [of admittedly unknown quality] about how they could be improved. I'm also very interested in human factors, as they might apply to organizational or administrative systems [not so much HCI]. But I recognize that there's almost no way for me to get into that at this point, and I'm doubtful about whether I have the right temperament for the longer-term processes involved in e.g. manufacturing.) I'm good in an emergency - i.e. both work "emergencies" and actual, physical emergencies. I'm able to act decisively and efficiently when there's a car accident, for example, or when someone breaks their leg, or cracks their head open on the sidewalk [drawing from actual events, here]. (Fast reaction times in general, for whatever that's worth [maybe it's worth something??] .) I was decent at basic database stuff (i.e., designing simple databases using what is probably now obsolete software); got a kick out of solving those kinds of logical problems. It's not the sort of thing I'd like to do all day, every day, though. Same for copy editing, or working with e.g. Photoshop (or even my hobby-level music production stuff) - I can easily spend hours tweaking this or that defined problem. (Freelancing was terrible for me, in that I'd get completely absorbed in a project, losing sleep and all sense of life balance in the process.) I'd rather not spend most of my time at a computer, if possible. I'd ideally like to spend time: - Providing individuals with practical assistance in achieving tangible goals - Troubleshooting problems, coming up with solutions - Doing varied activities that involve talking to people more often than not, with some independent work (I understand that all this is pie-in-the-sky stuff. Just putting it out there in case it might not be.) Challenges - Age. I won't be in my thirties for much longer. I'm often taken to be several years younger than I am, but I'm not sure how long that's going to last. And the dates on my resume are what they are. - Lack of a viable professional network where I live. - Not great at routine admin. I recognize that this is probably my most feasible option. It means spending most of the day doing things I'm bad at, though. - Physical weakness. I have a number of musculoskeletal problems, and acquire repetitive strain injuries easily. This is another reason "talky" jobs appeal. - Night owl/DSPS - this has been aggravated by my recent lifestyle. 9 to 5 is totally fine, but I'd have a rough time with hours much earlier than that. In a perfect world, I'd work late mornings to late afternoons. - Probably many things I'm missing. - Explaining not only the past few years, but my work history. It's as common as grass, and I haven't been able to make it work for me, for various reasons. There's no evidence of clear progression in a single career path, or a commitment to a particular industry; I'm up against better-qualified people almost half my age, in a highly competitive city; some of the job titles on my resume are idiosyncratic. Much of my good experience took place in another country; upon my return (at an inopportune economic moment), my professional network was DOA. I'm now certain that I lost valuable time in that first year back due to pitching for the wrong jobs and level for my experience. (I'd hoped to make something close to my last salary, doing work like the last job I'd done; didn't happen.) I didn't feel I had many options at that point, which is why I decided to take a shot at retraining in what I thought might be a safe field. I started part-time, and was going to cut my losses if I got anything less than an A. I ran into hiccups during my final year. There's a slim chance I might be able to recuperate the GPA, but I'm blocked with fear - the stakes are paralyzingly high. I'm getting help with some of the disruptive hiccups, and with my anxiety, but there's only so much time available in therapy. This question is beyond the scope of what's happening there, for the moment. In The Now Habit, Neil Fiore talks about developing a "safety net", an alternate source of self-worth, in order to make the failure of an important goal easier to accept and face. I need to think of a real safety net, and I'm blocked with that too, so any help from you lovely and clever people would be so appreciated. I apologize for the length of this question; I hoped to be comprehensive. If for whatever reason, you feel even more information would help, please feel free to poke around my past questions or answers. (Also, please be kind... very anxious.)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The wedding is on Sunday, interstate. My not going is unavoidable as of this morning. A tremendous, epic, work emergency has developed. I got the news at 4.30am this morning. There is no way I can get through it without serious sustained time and effort during the period I'd planned to be travelling and interstate. What do I say to the couple and how do I say it? More over the fold.Other relevant information: There is no one else who can do the work. The work has to be done. I've told my husband, he's sad I'm not going, but is OK with it. Husband will still be going. I don't think it is a huge wedding where I'll be one of a throng. They were at our wedding. We had a big 'invite everyone we've ever known' party though. The couple are friends of my husband, but more acquaintances of mine. I do like them, they're lovely, but we're not close. I don't have phone numbers, and neither does my husband. Communication is entirely by Facebook Messenger. To say this does not seem like an ideal way to tell someone you're a no show is an understatement. I don't have an address to send flowers to or any other apology gift. I would understand if someone cancelled on me. Maybe they will be maybe they won't. This does not influence my decision. If they are upset I will wear it, but I would like to be as kind/caring/sincerely apologetic as I possibly can be in communicating. I AM sincerely sorry. But I can't be there. I'm leaning towards asking my husband to tell them in person, and to get their address from a relative, then on Monday send a big bunch of flowers with a heartfelt congratulations/apology card. But is there something I'm missing? Finally, I'd be so grateful if answers could focus on the question and leave out telling me that this is something I shouldn't do. I have to do it. I'm well aware it's not ideal. However, this is not work vs friends, it is continued employment, healthcare for my husband, payment of mortgage vs friends.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Did Andy have two weeks left or was his rapid decline of this morning merely a temporary problem that was easily fixed? Unsure, Andy turned to me and said, "Two weeks? I'm not ready for this 'A Walk To Remember' shit." He had been fighting to live, but now it seemed he was merely fighting for a year. Sarah McBride writes beautifully about losing her husband. She was 24. He was 28.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The Black Tapes Podcast started when Alex Reagan of Pacific Northwest Stories profiled Dr. Richard Strand of the Strand Institute about his rigorous career debunking claims of the paranormal. During the interview, she discovered that he had files on cases that he had not yet debunked. The podcast episodes follow the two as they check up on details of the cases, usually reaching frustrating and obscure dead ends, where tantalizing hints fade into confusing incomplete stories and lack of hard evidence. Along the way, questions about Strand's past begin to appear. Produced by Paul Bae of You Suck, Sir covered previously.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
100 great films by female directors. Part 1: 1912-1953, Part 2: 1962-1975, Part 3: 1975-1981, Part 4: 1982-1991, Part 5: 1991-1997, Part 6: 1998-2001, Part 7: 2002-2009, Part 8: 2007-2009, Part 9: 2010-2012, Part 10: 2012-2014. (This is not "The" 100 Great Movies By Female Directors. It's merely 100 movies we love and honestly think you will too.) The complete list (without accompanying text): 1. Falling Leaves (Alice Guy-Blaché, 1912) 2. Suspense (Lois Weber, 1913) 3. The Adventures of Prince Achmed (Lotte Reiniger, 1926) 4. The Seashell and the Clergyman (Germaine Dulac, 1928) 5. Merrily We Go to Hell (Dorothy Arzner, 1932) 6. Triumph of the Will (Leni Riefenstahl, 1935) 7. Meshes of the Afternoon (Maya Deren, 1943) 8. Death is a Caress (Edith Carlmar, 1949) 9. A Portrait of Ga (Margaret Tait, 1952) 10. The Hitch-Hiker (Ida Lupino, 1953) 11. The Connection (Shirley Clarke, 1962) 12. Something Different (Vera Chytilová, 1963) 13. The House is Black (Forough Farrokhzad, 1963) 14. Brief Encounters (Kira Muratova, 1968) 15. Wanda (Barbara Loden, 1970) 16. The Arch (Cecile Tang Shu Shuen, 1970) 17. Terminal Island (Stephanie Rothman, 1973) 18. Double Agent 73 (Doris Wishman, 1974) 19. India Song (Marguerite Duras, 1975) 20. Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (Chantal Akerman, 1975) 21. Seven Beauties (Lina Wertmüller, 1975) 22. Harlan County, USA (Barbara Kopple, 1976) 23. The Ascent (Larisa Shepitko, 1977) 24. Girlfriends (Claudia Weil, 1978) 25. The Second Awakening of Christa Klages (Margarethe von Trotta, 1978) 26. Chilly Scenes of Winter (Joan Micklin Silver, 1979) 27. Old Boyfriends (Joan Tewkesbury, 1979) 28. My Brilliant Career (Gillian Armstrong, 1979) 29. Germany Pale Mother (Helma Sanders-Brahms, 1980) 30. Freak Orlando (Ultrike Ottinger, 1981) 31. Boat People (Ann Hui, 1982) 32. Born in Flames (Lizzie Borden, 1983) 33. Valley Girl (Martha Coolidge, 1983) 34. Desperately Seeking Susan (Susan Seidleman, 1984) 35. Vagabond (Agnès Varda, 1985) 36. Ishtar (Elaine May, 1987) 37. Big (Penny Marshall, 1988) 38. Celia (Ann Turner, 1989) 39. Pet Sematary (Mary Lambert, 1989) 40. Daughters of the Dust (Julie Dash, 1991) 41. Dogfight (Nancy Savoca, 1991) 42. Orlando (Sally Potter, 1992) 43. Wayne's World (Penelope Spheeris, 1992) 44. Billy Madison (Tamra Davis, 1995) 45. Strange Days (Kathryn Bigelow, 1995) 46. Clueless (Amy Heckerling, 1995) 47. Home for the Holidays (Jodie Foster, 1996) 48. Grace of My Heart (Allison Anders, 1996) 49. Eve's Bayou (Kasi Lemmons, 1997) 50. Fire (Deepa Metha, 1997) 51. Divorce Iranian Style (Kim Longinotto, 1998) 52. Xiu Xiu: The Sent-Down Girl (Joan Chen, 1998) 53. The Apple (Samira Makhmalbaf, 1998) 54. Boys Don't Cry (Kimberley Peirce, 1999) 54. Ravenous (Antonia Bird, 1999) 56. Beau Travail (Claire Denis, 2000) 57. Faithless (Liv Ullmann, 2000) 58. American Psycho (Mary Harron, 2000) 59. A Ma Soeur! (Catherine Breillat, 2001) 60. Lovely & Amazing (Nicole Holofcener, 2001) 61. Whale Rider (Niki Caro, 2002) 62. In My Skin (Marina de Van, 2002) 63. Morvern Callar (Lynne Ramsay, 2002) 64. Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola, 2003) 65. Innocence (Lucile Hadzihalilovic, 2003) 66. Me and You and Everyone We Know (Miranda July, 2005) 67. I for India (Sandhya Suri, 2005) 68. Longing (Valeska Grisebach, 2006) 69. An Education (Lone Scherfig, 2009) 70. Lourdes (Jessica Hausner, 2009) 71. XXY (Lucia Puenzo, 2007) 72. The Headless Woman (Lucrecia Martel, 2008) 73. Treeless Mountain (So Young Kim, 2008) 74. Wendy & Lucy (Kelly Reichardt, 2008) 75. Bright Star (Jane Campion, 2009) 76. Craneway Event (Tacita Dean, 2009) 77. Double Tide (Sharon Lockhart, 2009) 78. Everyone Else (Maren Ade, 2009) 79. Fish Tank (Andrea Arnold, 2009) 80. The Milk of Sorrow (Claudia Llosa, 2009) 81. Archipelago (Joanna Hogg, 2010) 82. The Arbor (Clio Barnard, 2010) 83. Winter's Bone (Debra Granik, 2010) 84. Attenberg (Athina Rachel Tsangari, 2010) 85. Dreams of a Life (Carol Morley, 2011) 86. Tomboy (Céline Sciamma, 2011) 87. Nana (Valérie Massadian, 2011) 88. One. Two. One (Mania Akbari, 2011) 89. The Loneliest Planet (Julia Loktev, 2011) 90. Stories We Tell (Sarah Polley, 2012) 91. Wadjda (Haifaa Al Mansour, 2012) 92. Sister (Ursula Meier, 2012) 93. Butter on the Latch (Josephine Decker, 2013) 94. A Thousand Suns (Mati Diop, 2013) 95. Dusty Stacks of Mom (Jodie Mack, 2013) 96. Appropriate Behaviour (Desiree Akhavan, 2014) 97. Rocks in my Pockets (Signe Baumane, 2014) 98. The Babadook (Jennifer Kent, 2014) 99. Selma (Ava DuVernay, 2014) 100. Eden (Mia Hansen-Lɵve, 2014)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
When I was in a pinch a couple of years ago I sold an annuity from a settlement. It worked out just fine, however, I guess I was put on some list that I had done this because after it was final I started receiving TONS and TONS of junk mail soliciting me to sell other annuities, etc.Every day in my mail inbox (we're not talking email) I receive fake checks with my name on it, SELL NOW mail pieces, etc. I've lived in my home for years, so my address is pretty fixed. Anyways, this is still happening 2 years later and I am frankly sick of it. 1) If there is some master list of people that have sold their annuities, how do I get off of this list? I have asked the company I sold it to for help with this but that has been fruitless. 2) Is there another way I can stop all of this junk mail? I'm talking 4-5 pieces a day.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My partner and I are breaking up after 20 years. Neither of us trusts the other's judgement and dividing our only asset has become hugely problematic. We purchased our home 18 years ago as a fixer-upper in what has since become a very desirable location, so there's a large amount of equity in it. I never gave proper thought about how we'd move on from it, meaning this is one of those "explain it to me like I'm five" inquiries. I'd like to have sensible questions to ask at our bank meeting tomorrow. We have a meeting next week with a therapist and have agreed to some kind of professional mediation in the future. The thing is... my partner demands that we extend our joint mortgage-backed line of credit to allow her to purchase (outright) a smaller place in the countryside. For 10 years, she's only done part-time work for my home business, so she won't have any income going forward (except for support payments). I doubt she could get bridge financing under her own name. I want to avoid being drawn deeper into debt with her.My psychiatrist, lawyer (in a 1 hour consult), and my best friend have all strenuously advised against going along with my partner's plan because she has unhealthy control issues that played a major part in the breakup. My stated desire is to sell the house, clear the substantial credit line/credit card debts and give her two thirds of the remainder. This would leave her enough cash to purchase a cheaper house (outright) and still have at least 100k left over. We still share strong feelings but an untrusting attitude towards each other (for reasons I'm not comfortable going into here, even anonymously). I'm miserable and emotionally burnt out. The lawyer gave me a ballpark figure on what I'd be expected to pay in support, etc. but his advice hinges on dividing the assets. Her need to own another home before selling the current one seems rooted in family history and is something she can't be easily reasoned out of. The idea of moving into an apartment in the interim is off the table. She'll react badly if I refuse to go along with her plan but I really don't want to retain a lawyer and push her to sell. Are there any ways I can get my wife financed without exposing myself to further debt and obligation? Is it realistic to think a lawyer could structure a contract between my wife and I that would allow us to safely extend the credit line and organize a purchase? Am I kidding myself? We're in Ontario.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The 51 Best Fantasy Series Ever Written [Buzzfeed] Whether you're a Swords and Sorcery type of fantasy reader, a fan of battles and betrayal, or you just want a few more goddamn elves in your life, there's something for you here. These are the truly great fantasy series written in the last 50 years.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
One of the most influential sports figures you've never heard of, Darryl Dawkins has passed at the age of 58. Dawkins was an NBA star in the flashy, no-defense, pre-Michael Jordan days, an early Nike-splashed icon, with multiple self-styled nicknames, although "Chocolate Thunder," was bestowed on him by Stevie Wonder. Think of the image of a basketball player shattering the backboard glass. You're thinking of Dawkins.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Tonight, I found out that my parents, both registered Democrats, support Donald Trump. I need to explain to them why this is bad.My mom leans more to the right than my dad (she voted Obama/Romney, while my dad voted for Obama both times) but both think Obama has been a terrible president. They both dislike HRC, and my mom literally shuddered when I expressed my support for Bernie Sanders. They both vote in the primaries and will likely change their registration to Republican. That's fine by me, but I can't in good conscience not try to talk them out of Trump. I know how I'd address this with my peers, but how do I calmly and rationally discuss this with my sixtysomething parents? They've become rather anti-immigrant, despite being of NINA Irish and fleeing Poland at the turn of the century descent. They also think Trump will be better than Obama in regard to foreign relations, like the rest of the world will like the US more with a racist, sexist blowhard as President. See, that's why I need help. I cannot tell my parents that Trump is a racist, sexist blowhard. On the other hand, my mom is a huge supporter of gay rights and they're both adamantly pro-choice. My dad was also in a union for most of his working life. Both are retired. Neither are religious. They contain multitudes. Talking points that affect them would be extra appreciated.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My coworker chews gum really loudly and it annoys me. Best way to tell him (if at all)?I sit in an open office. The guy next to me chews with his mouth open so you can hear these smacking noises. I can put up with hearing the mouth noises during lunch, but he also chews gum all day long, so there is this constant smacking/chomping/saliva noise (with the occasional popping) that drives me insane. What's the best way for me to tell him to chew his gum more quietly without seeming like a jerk? Or should I just put up with it? I've worked in this type of open office environment my entire career and I have never been annoyed by anyone's chewing noises. I really think the problem is just that he doesn't chew with his mouth closed. On the other hand, I'm the type of person who gets annoyed by little noises, so I don't know if I'm just overreacting. Also, I'm aware chewing with your mouth open can be a cultural thing. We are both of the same ethnic background (and both 2nd-generation) and 1st-generation immigrants of our ethnicity generally chew with their mouths open. My parents eat like that. He is very Americanized in all other aspects, so I suspect he just isn't aware his chewing is loud. For what it's worth, he is also my direct report, so I don't want to sound like a tyrannical boss. It's just impacting my ability to concentrate and be productive. I don't want to make it "don't chew gum", because I chew gum myself, and I've sat next to people who chew gum all the time and never noticed it, but I don't want to make it as personal/demeaning as "chew with your mouth closed." Thoughts?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I'm looking for newsy/magaziney/commentary/journalism websites with good, interesting, even inventive, uses of annotation (more interested in notes made by authors/editors than comments by readers, but that is also interesting!) in their articles. Grantland's use of annotation is a good example. Thanks for any tips!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My friend just found out that she has a drug test for her job coming up in a few days. The problem is that she just came home from Colorado and apparently smoked... umm... a lot of marijuana. it's still illegal in her home state and she is freaking out since she doesn't want to lose her job. she was told by her friend that she would pass with synthetic urine no problem and she is planning on using it. Is synthetic urine really the answer? If so what kind?I suggested just drinking a lot of water since i heard about that. but she has a friend who tried flushing with water and failed the test. so she doesn't want to try that. She has another friend who claims that he has many friends who have passed with the synthetic urine. My friend thinks the syn. urine is her only chance to pass but I don't know... wouldn't they be able to detect something like that? I don't get it. but I told her people on this site are smart so I would ask you folks. would synthetic urine really help her pass the test? What kind? The one her friend recommended to her was called xstream. She also heard quickfix was good. The test is in two days. Please help me help her, I worry how she will support herself if she fails this as i know she is financially strapped.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Our son is entering first grade (public school in Minnesota, if that matters). We just got the new class assignments and it looks like literally every other kid in his class is a year or two older, obviously because their parents held them back a year, or more in some cases. How worried should we be?Our son is on the younger side to begin with (end-of-summer birthday) so I think that this means that he is bound to always be behind on his physical and cognitive development - IF "behind" were defined as "perfectly normal for his age but forced to always be compared to kids a year or two older". (Please assume I am not exaggerating when I say "every kid is older by a year or two", our teacher confirmed this). Plus, his class is 75% boys. Has anyone had experience with this? Should we be worried, both from developmental and emotional perspectives? Will he get beat up constantly when the older boys reach a certain age? Is there something we could/should do about this, and if not, what can we do to help him deal with always being last, physically and sometimes academically and/or emotionally? P.S. I am especially worried because my brother skipped a grade on account of high academic achievement and I don't think that it was good for him. P.P.S. I did not go through the US school system myself so I have no knowledge of how anything works but I did read a bunch of studies showing that kids get better test scores if they are older than the standard age.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
A while back there was a sort of trading site, I know some mefites were on it. It had cute little "stickers" that you could paste on your "wall" and trade. What was this site? I can't remember how it operated. I want to say zefrank created it? Or had something to do with it? Anybody have any links or info? I doubt it still exists, but if it does I'd like to see what it's like again, and if not, read about it to refresh my memory.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Last year, Laura Nowak used Instagram to document the responses she got when she asked men on Tinder about their views on feminism. Nowak said she started the project because "I don't want women thinking they have to settle for being objectified if they want casual sex, and I don't want men on Tinder being systematically categorised as creeps." In February 2015, Instagram deleted her @feministsontinder account, stating that it violated their guidelines. Now Nowak is back on Instagram with @feminist_tinder, recording the responses she received when she put the phrase "hello I am a feminist" in her Tinder profile. Previously, related: Bye Felipe 'Feminist' seemed to put men off, but now I realize, who cares?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Meet The Indie Newspaper Man Who Documented The East Village In The 1980s "The Other Paper office's front door always seemed to be unlocked," he recalls, "and it wasn't uncommon for some gray-haired hippie, a young performance artist or even a Hells Angel biker to come wandering in past midnight with a citizen's concern, promotion or request. We were open to them all."

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I have two "retired" city street signs, but the paint is peeling off. I'd like to slow their decay and prevent the paint from flaking off. [images and detail inside]I bought two street signs from the City of Toronto in an online auction. They are awesome, and way cooler than the new ones, but they have lived their whole lives outside and aren't in the best condition. Here's some images. As you can see, in many places the paint is starting to peel and flake away. I'd like to take some steps to slow or prevent further decay. Any tips or links would be very appreciated. Eventually, they'll be mounted on the wall in my home.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
How do I put my achievements into context as I apply to graduate schools, and not fall prey to impostor syndrome?So I've been out of undergrad for four years, and the whole time I've worked as a statistician/programmer type at a pretty prestigious university in clinical research. Since then, I've managed to get my name on 12 peer-reviewed publications as either first or second author, including two first-author papers in two of the top journals in the bioinformatics-y niche field I specialize in. I've developed a lot of statistical/machine learning methodology that everyone -- from the professors to residents and students and other staff -- in our group is piggybacking off of and using to publish their own papers, which, in retrospect, is kind of awesome and a bit crazy given how little I knew what I was doing when I first got here. I'm also in the process of putting together everything we know about this methodology into a little mini-course or workshop-type thing that I'll be using to teach people here as well, and I'm pretty excited about that. I've also reviewed for a couple of pretty decent journals too, but that's more like a feather in the cap than anything. I've always been drawn to grad school for the (relative) amount of freedom and ownership it gives you over your work, and I'd love to be able to build upon what I've already done so far around students and (hopefully!) similarly-minded people, as opposed to doctors and other 100%-clinically-minded professor types here who aren't as knee deep in the quantitative side of things. But in spite of what I've managed to accomplish so far, I feel like what I've done here just won't cut it to get me into the programs I want with advisors I'd like to work with. Contributing to this is that there's not a whole lot of overlap between my current department and the programs and advisors I'm looking into right now, which makes it hard to choose programs that best fit me, how I stack up against the other applicants out there, and to figure out whether or not I should shoot for the moon. I've gotten in touch with grad students at these programs, and they encouraged me to apply but that was a while ago and who knows what kind of position I'm in now. The only thing I can see hurting my application is my transcript: my GPA wasn't all that great at 3.3-3.4 with a bunch of random Cs here and there, although maybe that's what happens when you do a heavily quantitative major at a massively grade-deflated state school. Yet all my reading so far into the grad admissions process seems to indicate that GPA has next to no significance as long as you can demonstrate research ability, and I guess I have that bit nailed down... so I guess I shouldn't be worrying about my GPA, right? It's not like I'm applying to law or med school here. Above all, though, I hate how I keep finding ways to minimize my accomplishments. That paper I wrote? We sucked up to and schmoozed the reviewers, and it's not novel enough, anyway, even though it's been cited a couple of times already. That, and it feels like such a silly thing to be obsessing over, since at least quite a few PhD graduates don't even manage to get a single publication out of all the time they put into it. My volume of papers? Nothing impressive, when you consider that the group I'm a part of is geared towards publishing, publishing, publishing like maniacs -- yet most people in my position here never get directly involved in research to begin with, never mind writing papers. Anyway, I guess I just need some reassurance that, hey, I've actually kicked a bunch of ass so far and showed that I can not only do, but disseminate, some pretty neat work, and hopefully that'll shine through on my applications when I apply this fall. I get that impression from the PIs and professors I work with now, but it feels kinda hollow as they have zero experience with the programs I'm considering. So I'm a bit lost as to where I stand; and this might sound a bit silly, but sometimes I'm not sure if I'm competitive enough to even bother applying to these schools. If there's anything I should be doing, it's probably reaching out to prospective advisors some more but I feel a little silly cold-calling them. Any suggestions or bromides, Green?

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