posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My coworker once sent me an email link and I clicked on it and this big jack in the box poped up and scared the crap outta me.I want to be able to send something similar. But I'd rather it not be TOO scary. Startling would be nice, but not Nightmare inducing trauma. I can't find the email he sent me so I may have trashed it. So I can't find what website he may have gotten it from. Maybe it was a video website for all I know. Any link suggestions where I can send it and the user gets startled?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Driving! I very much disliked it. It made me sweat through all my clothes. I avoided it a lot. Haven't done it in 9 years because no license in this country. But I'm finally getting back in the saddle. Coping tips?I'm going back to driving school to get a local license, starting this Saturday! I'm looking for input about how to frame driving in my mind as not scary and how to calm down if driving feels overwhelming. Maybe it will be fine, after all this time? I'm not sure. It's possible it will be less anxiety inducing than boring. Anyway, mainly looking for coping tips and reassurance from people who've been there (as someone put it recentlyish, "pats." Pats please!) Thank you!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
It's a flowering tree of some sort. The blooms are slightly larger than a golf ball. It blooms in spring. My grandmother's friend brought back a seed from a trip to Jerusalem sometime in the 1960s, or at least that's the story. She may have also visited Jordan and Lebanon during that trip. The photo is from a more recent planting, growing in coastal North Carolina (Zone 8a).The tree my grandmother planted died after Hurricane Diana. The tree my mother planted just died in Hurricane Florence. My mother's tree was 20-30 ft tall when it fell.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
My boyfriend is still pretending to be happily married to his lesbian wife. How do I move forward without losing my mind?I'm (still) in this relationship. He's an amazing person and I want to be with him. Please assume this is 100% genuine, we are very well matched. However, he still hasn't sorted his side of this issue out. His wife has come out to her parents recently, but he is still keeping me/their separation a secret from his. Living with this 'happy marriage' scenario over the last six months has resulted in me having a constant fear of rejection and inadequacy; whether these are real or imagined. On the plus side, he says he is travelling home (from the UK, where we live) to file for divorce in a month, and is likely to tell his family in person that his marriage is over. I don't expect him to mention me for another year or so if I'm still around, which makes me a little sad - but I understand. Generally, I feel like I have no control. He says that I'm not just a passenger, I have agency, but I don't know how that can be true. It feels like my options are either walk or wait. In the meantime waiting is making me a bit cray. The more feelings I develop, the more I stand to lose, so my lizard brain tells me it's best to try and tamp them down - which makes me feel awful and snappy. 'You think you can reject me, well I'll reject myself better!' So, how do I keep my terrified feelings in check until a) he divorces b) he acknowledges our relationship? I know it's not a great foundation for a partnership, although I appreciate the genuine reasons he got into/stayed in this mess. I hope that moving forward with my own processing will help.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I have to upload a collection of images to Flickr and some other photo sites. I need a tool where I can batch the filename, photo titles, alt tags and metadescriptions/captions. Is there a free tool for W10 that does this?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I am in the beginning stages of hiring more clients for my writing career and want to make sure I cover all my bases legally and specifically for new work outside of a large company's context. I work in the NJ/NY area and want to make sure I don't get rolled over by unscrupulous clients.Any anecdotes, words of advice and resources are most welcome from folks already living La Vida Freelance in NYC.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'd like to bicycle the Greenbrier River Trail, a state park in West Virginia, and most of the information I can find about it is sparse, outdated, or covers only small sections of the 77-mile trail. I'm looking for advice from people who have done the whole trail recently.Specific questions: There was a lot of flood damage in 2016 and again in 2018. Can anyone speak to its current condition? Are their closures and/or sections where I really need a mountain bike instead of a road/cross bike? Recommended accommodations in the middle of the trail, since I plan to break it up over two or three days? Two days or three? I am planning on two since I regularly bike 35 hilly miles, so 35 flat ones per day doesn't sound too bad, but wouldn't mind taking three if there are cool side trails or attractions I might want to stop and check out. Are there specific dates I should avoid due to big events / races / crowding? There are conflicting reports about the availability of cell service, probably due to the information being outdated. Is it still nonexistent for the entire trail, or has that improved? Any other tips/advice are welcome and appreciated.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"O.K. Well, my name's Vivian Zwick, and I'm 101 years old. And I came to this issue quite a long time ago." Did you know about abortion? "No, I'd heard about it, but I really didn't know much about it. I didn't start really working for it until about the early '60s, just the time that Governor Rockefeller in New York signed the bill to have abortion available to everybody — not in Missouri, but in New York State. So we were just delighted that there was actually a place where you could get an abortion here in America." As a growing number of states are introducing, moving, or enacting 6-week abortion bans, the NY Times Daily Podcast visits the Last Clinic in Missouri (transcript) and explores the Illinois option. More from The Daily on Roe V. Wade - Who Was Jane Roe and The Culture Wars.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have been overanalyzing what car to buy for months and could use some advice.I've driven my current car, a Honda Accord, for almost 20 years, and it's been very reliable. However, from the moment I bought it, it felt too big. I'd like something slightly smaller. Here's what I'm looking for: - Comfortably fit my tall family of 3 (partner is 6'4") - Reliable - Under $20K (open to used but not sure it makes sense given how long I keep cars) - Good gas mileage - Easy to park - Good safety ratings My commute is around 20 minutes. We go camping a a couple times a year, but nowhere that's particularly remote. We also live somewhere where it snows a couple times a year. Cars I've considered: - Honda Fit - Subaru Impreza - Honda HR-V - Kia Soul I'm learning toward the Honda Fit but would really appreciate advice. I'm kind of frozen in the analysis stage right now. If you have one of these cars, I'd love to hear how you like it. I'm especially interested in hearing how reliable your car is and whether you think it's worth getting the extra safety packages.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I have a deep passion for environmental sustainability. I had a realization that my skills align quite well with being an advocate for change, and helping people learn to change. I'd like to turn my passion into a depth of knowledge about best practices and current science. What are the blogs, publications, news sites, or researchers I should familiarize myself with and follow?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Hi! I purchased the XP-Pen Deco 01 graphics tablet, which seemed perfect for my needs -- cheap, for a beginner, large workspace, etc. It never worked because the driver never worked. I spent a long time talking to support; they were only intermittently available. Support insisted it was a bum USB cable. I am...less sure. Googling around, it seems lots of graphics tablets have trouble with the Mojave update. What do?What tablet set up would you recommend for a beginner who a) needs the thing to work, and b) might want room to expand, and c) who is using Mojave on a MacBook Air? My biggest problem with Wacom was the price to work space issue (3 inches? 3 inches??), but if that's what works... Thank you!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Why does Roman Mars' voice make some car stereos lock up and restart? In order to find out, Reply All creates the best lineup of podcasts in the business. Less Than, Approximately, Greater Than, a cooking show with Samin Nosrat || 88% Parentheticals, hosted by Sara Koenig (it's about her mail (and her day)) || Carrot Space Carrot, a trek into the universe of carrots || 100% Related?, where Judge Goldman Sr. promulgates paternity pedantry || Blank + Blank = FUN, a very frank investigation into relationships with Kalila Holt Note - you can find RSS or Apple Podcast links from inside the OP. Links in the above are to MP3 files hosted on

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My younger colleagues at University are using some either template or software to build slide decks that have a web2.0 look and feel, head and shoulders above your average google slides / powerpoint decks.Googling "what slide deck constructor are young people using" didn't get me far and I'm embarrassed to ask. Features I noticed were consistent among the three I saw: - The frames of the slides were sort of paint-brushy complex textures - Many slides had multiple z-axis layers with, e.g. a gif or a photo in a back layer with a colorizing filter layer on that, then the frame of the slide where text goes on top of that with a ragged aperture through which you could see the lower layers - text looks a lot like the text done in something like Adobe Spark, with lots of alternating color text on white background / white text on dark background. - looked to have native support for embedded gifs - font package was definitely expanded beyond typical offerings in PP / gslides

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Several years ago I heard a podcast episode about a US academic who set up a free community program to teach humanities subjects to uneducated or unemployed people in his area. My sketchy recollections include: Initially his idea was treated with derision ('Poor people don't need the arts, they need real life skills' etc) but after a crash course in subjects like philosophy, many of his students were able to improve their lives in unexpected and profound ways, and all found employment - except for one who was fired after trying to set up an employee's union. What was this program, who ran it, and what podcast did I hear about it on?At the time (maybe as long as 10 years ago) I was listening to things like This American Life, Wiretap with Jonathan Goldstein and a few other podcasts, but I've spent some time searching through the episode descriptions of these and I can't find any matches. I've been thinking of this story on and off for years now - it was a fascinating case study on the value of the arts, and in particular how so-called 'elitist' subjects like philosophy, history etc made a huge practical difference to people's lives thanks to this rogue professor who believed in taking them out of the hallowed halls of academia. I'd love to read more about this course and its effects. Please help me track it down!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Our household runs macOS Mojave. My wife uses her own AppleID and I want to give her access to my entire Photos Library containing ~40,000 files. If I put the library into our shared Dropbox folder, turn on iCloud and make it the System Library on both computers, what issues will I have? E.g., will simultaneous access cause corruption? Does a better solution exist?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
'Decades of denial': major report finds New Zealand's environment is in serious trouble (Eleanor Ainge Roy, Guardian) A report on the state of New Zealand's environment has painted a bleak picture of catastrophic biodiversity loss, polluted waterways and the destructive rise of the dairy industry and urban sprawl. Nature at risk: Damning report warns environment in serious trouble (Kate Gudsell, RNZ) New Zealand cities are spreading, eating into our environment as they go (Alex Braae, the Spinoff) State of Environment report reveals NZ's dirtiest industry (Greenpeace NZ) Download the full report here: Environment Aotearoa 2019

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
In some European myths, from Plato's Cratylus to Rumplestiltskin, knowing someone's True Name means having special knowledge about them, or power over them. What kind of powers are those? What about other cultures of the world?I want to write something about this topic, and I don't want to use exclusively examples from an European/Christian tradition, which is my background and what I know about. I'd also like to have a better granularity of examples of the power of knowing someone's True Name: Does it give dominion over that person? Ability to defend against them? Power to find them, or power to hide from them? My starting point is the Wikipedia article, but I was hoping people in the MeFi community with a wider range of backgrounds could add to my research. And to give an example of a question I have about a non-European culture: In the manga Death Note, people can be killed by writing their true name in a Shinigami's notebook, but what part of this is traditional Japanese culture and what part of this is the contemporary author's invention?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Heathers, the classic dark comedy, has turned 30. AV Club: Heathers' director, writer, and star reflect on its legacy after 30 years AV Club: How the Heathers team crafted the definitive teen satire New Yorker: "Heathers" Blew Up the High-School Comedy Variety: Why Winona Ryder's Agent Begged Her Not to Do the Subversive Teen Movie The Independent: Will this kind of movie ever be made again?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
So, here's everything I ate today, but I'm still craving something that I can't put my finger on...Fatty red meat, egg yolk and egg white, white rice, flax seed, lentils and chickpeas, cherries, butter, salt, pepper... I had quite a bit of all of the previous in some proportion, and I have zero "calorie" hunger, but I'm craving something that I can't put my finger on. Looking at minerals, trace minerals, and vitamins, it seems like I've gotten at least a little bit of everything. There's no particular food I'm craving, but my mind is casting about. I was in the sun for a bit, too, for vitamin D. I know I'm under the RDA for a bunch of things, but what's bugging me is I can't put my finger on what I want. If I eat cheese pizza, then I don't have this weird phantom craving, so that's some sort of clue. But I can't figure out what pizza, even with fortified flour, can possibly have to the point where I don't crave anything. I know there's some sort of insulin component, too. Can anyone guess what I'm missing??? When you look at this, would you feel like it's missing something--like, what actual food would you add to complete the meal where it would otherwise be unsatisfying?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I want to make custom photo books (maybe through Snapfish, which I've seen recommended here) of my great nephews having adventures via Photoshop. Maybe I'd write some rhymes to go with the pictures. Riding dinosaurs, as superheroes, on a spaceship, etc. So Metafilter, what's the etc.? What else should I Photoshop some little boys doing? Any other ideas to make these the coolest presents ever would be gratefully accepted!

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
"It just adds to the whole idea that you go to a physician feeling bad and you walk out feeling better, but you go to a dentist feeling good and you walk out feeling bad."

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Heinz Hajek-Halke - (NSFW) - was an experimental photographer who joined the newly founded German post war Fotoform group. Picking up where Bauhaus left off.

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
My partner has struggled with attention, memory, and executive functioning issues her whole life. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in her teens, and her doctors have always told her that her attention issues are because of her MDD/GAD and that it would get better as her mental health improved. 8 years later her mental health has improved significantly, but the attention and memory issues have not changed. She went to get evaluated for ADHD and had the intake interview last week and did not feel good about how it went.Due to her medical records, the doctor knew about her GAD/MDD going into the interview. The doctor focused very strongly on questioning her about her depression/anxiety, and talked over her a lot. She felt like she had very little opportunity to talk about her attention and memory issues. After about half an hour of questioning, it seemed clear that the doctor had decided my partner's problem was depression/anxiety and low self-esteem , and spent the rest of the time trying to convince her of that and insisting that CBT would "fix" her (exact word used multiple times). The doctor said repeatedly that my partner has no problem doing xyz, she is just "choosing not to" (this was repeated 5-6 times). My partner knows inattention is a symptom of depression and anxiety and was open to that possibility, but she is seeking the evaluation because she feels like she's actually in a pretty good place right now and yet her attention symptoms haven't improved. She feels pretty good about herself as a person and rarely has anxious thoughts or low moods anymore, and is doing a lot of things she couldn't do when she was depressed (exercise, hanging out with friends and family, volunteering), she just still has trouble with things that require mental focus (filling out job applications, planning meals, handling budgets, etc.). Yet the doctor kept telling her she has terrible self esteem and impostor syndrome and that's the cause of all of her problems. The doctor also told her that she's just "avoiding life except for the fun parts" because she spends a lot of time playing video games and has trouble doing chores and getting food for herself. My partner came away from the interview feeling basically steamrolled and like the doctor did not get an accurate picture of her at all. The doctor did agree to still conduct testing, though she implied this was to show her nothing's wrong with her. The testing session is coming up, but we're a little worried. We're afraid that even if testing shows attention/memory/executive functioning/whatever issues, the doctor will just chalk it up to anxiety because those all can be symptoms of anxiety. Again, my partner is open to this possibility, but was hoping the doctor would help her parse that out by comparing when and how she experiences these symptoms. At this point, though, the doctor seems convinced it could only be anxiety and low self-esteem, and she said very bluntly, "Your problem is not ADHD." She is on the hospital's financial aid program and will not be paying for the assessment, so she's planning on still going through with testing. There was a six month wait to get this assessment so she really doesn't want to cancel and schedule with another doctor. She's going to try and talk to the doctor again during testing, but 1) the doctor may just talk over her more, and 2) given the size of the hospital the testing may be administered by a tech instead of the actual doctor. Is there anything she can do to make sure she gets an accurate and unbiased assessment? Also, I am sure many people will suggest getting a second opinion afterward, but practically, how would she do that? I know you can't re-take most psychological tests within a certain time frame. But if she takes these test results to a different doctor and says "I think this doctor diagnosed me wrong," is that going to be received well?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
I'm leaving Madison, WI at the end of May, but have a lease through end of August. I'd like to avoid all the risk of subletting and instead transfer the lease directly. I'd be willing to incentivize that with up to half off a month's rent. Good ways to do that without opening myself up to scams?

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posted 3 days ago on metafilter
Who doesn't love a good panoramic shot - this phone technology is perfect for capturing gorgeous meadows, hilltops or colorful deserts. Still landscapes can be captured with ease at just a touch of a button and scan with a steady hand - but what happens when you want to photograph an object that has a little bit more trouble sitting still - like your precious pets - well, you end up with a creature that has eight legs, two heads, and six tails! (SLBoredPanda)

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