posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I switched therapists about four months ago when I moved. I was with Pete for just under a year and *loved* him. New lady is very different, but I wanted to give her a fair chance. However I find now that I often leave therapy angrier than when I went in. Is this normal? Is there something up with me, that it might actually be beneficial for me to stick this out? If not- how do I leave?Pete used strengths-based psychotherapy. I came in with ADHD, depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive symptoms. I had recently accepted that I'm bisexual, but I wasn't out to my family. I was a wreck. Pete never told me what to do. He never suggested there might be some fucked up underlying cause behind my crazy relationships or my vices. I learned a lot from those experiences (polyamory, BDSM, soft drugs) It was Pete's guidance thru that, that helped me become the more integrated, emotionally mature person that I believe myself to be today. Janice is... a hardass. She sees both aneurotypical high performers (yours truly) and severely personality-disordered low-income folks. She gives her patients life homework and checks up on them. She always demands to know, whenever I tell her a thought or a habit, "What function does that serve?" When I came to her I was in an admittedly toxic relationship that was also the strongest chemistry I've ever had. She talked shit about him constantly and questioned my judgment for ever having started to date the guy, given red flags like being unemployed and living with parents (in my defense he had just repatriated.) She was totally right to tell me to get the fuck out of it--but I can't help thinking that Pete would have, well, trusted me enough to let me come to that on my own. Recently I told her I'm identifying as a political lesbian, for several reasons: (1) feminist politics, (2) aforementioned previous relationship unearthed a really unhealthy tendency to use men in my life as a punching bag for all my frustrations about patriarchy, which isn't fair to them or healthy for me, (3) having only come out recently I want to spend more time dating women, and (4) most of the bi girls here seem to be opposite-sex partnered and looking for thirds or side-chicks, whereas I am looking for serious partners. Well, instead of telling me she was proud of me, or even just saying "OK well we'll see how that goes," she had to take the opportunity to pry further into that decision, to speculate out loud "why I feel the need to limit myself," "surely you can't think all men are like that," (sorry gents but I PRETTY MUCH DO) "shouldn't you just try and be happy with whomever you find, whether that's a man or a woman?" And it felt like she was trying to talk me out of calling myself a lesbian. Like I was only doing it because there's something deeply fucked inside of me that has nothing to do with my actual sexual/dating preferences (and then I guess it follows that if I sorted my shit out, I would start dating men again?? which trivializes even my bisexuality) Then she kept pushing and pushing me about how this all relates to my need for control (which I KNOW is the primary problem in my life thankyouthatswhyimhere) and basically wouldn't stop til I broke down crying--then seemed surprised and sympathetic because "you're usually so aloof," like she had no idea that pushing on my weak spots would cause me to break. I am just flummoxed because NONE of this EVER happened to be before. Pete let me work through my shit but he didn't feel the need to call me out on it. He never pushed me farther than I wanted to go. Sometimes I feel like Janice just wants me to follow HER advice, be who SHE thinks I ought to be. So I guess querying the hivemind... based on the slivers of experience I've shared above, is this typical for other people's experience of therapy? is it possible my own psychiatric conditions have biased my sentiments against her? And if not... how do I break up with her?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Recent situations have shown me that I am not helpful enough and that I'm being selfish.I am annoyed when people ask me for favors. I'm in my early twenties and live with my parents rent free and I'm still not grateful enough to help some more around the house. Right now I live with relatives who have recently immigrated and I've become resentful of all the things I have to do for them. (filling out paperwork, driving them to places, etc.) I have this fear of a loss of control and that they will take advantage of me. I rarely go out of my way to help others, although I do have empathy for those in bad situations. I scored 37% on the egoism/altruism test by psychology today. Help me be less annoyed and want to be more helpful!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Asking for a friend: he remembers watching a animated series online a long time ago where there was a cat who had a feminine yet very childlike voice but did these amazing insightful interviews with scholars and scientists. He remembers nothing else but is dying to see these again. My googling keeps pulling up critiques on vocal fry or "how to be a female in animation" stuff. Anyone else remember this series? (We were talking about Maria Branford to give an example of the vocal type)

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"Ferrer was the son of top 1950s singer Rosemary Clooney and actor Jose Ferrer, and first cousin to George Clooney."

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The headscarf has been banned, made mandatory, hailed as a symbol of religious virtue, accepted as a means of controlling female sexuality, and politicized by governments and colonizers across the world. Manipulated and misinterpreted, it is seen as both a sign of liberation and imprisonment, of progress and regression. It's a source of friction both outside and inside the communities that wear it.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I recently started a side business. I already own another relatively successful business, and I want to operate this second one as kind of an occasional thing, just to explore for now and maybe grow down the road. Both businesses are consultancies. How do I communicate this dual-operation situation without scaring people off or sounding like a jack of all trades?I will be discussing this situation with existing clients and colleagues, and I want to prepare for that. I'm hoping that my potential clients, existing clients, and colleagues will: - Understand that I have multiple specialties and that's just a thing some people do - Understand that I'm doing this seriously - Not fear that I'll cease operating my main business (I like it and plan to continue), as it provides important online communications software and infrastructure for many organizations. I'd appreciate any perspectives on this. My first business is a web communications consultancy, and the second business is an individual coaching thing where I specialize in helping people find themselves, connect with potential new interests, escape from anxiety, etc. I hold certifications relevant to both businesses, and have clients in both as well, though far fewer in the newer one.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
What is it like to live in Colorado Springs, CO?I'm nearing the end of a long postgraduate training period and am contemplating a job opportunity in Colorado Springs. I have lots of outdoorsy interests and have always wanted to live out West. I've heard varying things about Springs - conservatism, big military presence and some run-down bits being specific areas of concern. Specific questions: how accessible is world-class outdoor stuff from town? I know it's closer to the moutains proper than Denver is. Thinking of hiking and biking opportunities in particular. How is the climate? I have lived in Boston and am not a huge fan of the "six months of cold and darkness" thing. I've visited and the downtown seemed pretty nice -- are there interesting things to do in town? Many thanks for your thoughts, Mefites.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Very quick (& time sensitive) question: my 40th is February 23rd. The weekend before that is radically cheaper to fly & stay in New Orleans than the weekend after. Much of what we like is the parades & atmosphere on St. Charles. I see there are many parades on the 18th & 19th; is this a similar atmosphere to the weekend just prior to Mardi Gras, or is it muted/different?I have 50 hotel & flight tabs open so any advice is greatly appreciated! I'm there for oysters, pig, and the parades; too old for Bourbon Street (and it doesn't really make me feel super safe for me and my wife) except crossing it to get to Felix's. Probably staying at the Wyndham on Iberville either way. Thanks in advance!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I'm supposed to write a listicle on romantic things to do in different cities, but Stockholm and Prague have me stumped. Does anyone have ideas of romantic things that are not "take a walk through the Old Town"?I'm looking for things that aren't super obvious. So for instance the botanic gardens could be romantic (and steamy). And also eating special kinds of food could be, or climbing to the top of a bell tower or...base jumping together. But really, if you've been there, I'd love your ideas on what a couple could do there to create special memories together! Thank you!

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"New Impossibly Intricate Embroideries by Chloe Giordano" Colossal: "We continue to be enthralled by the work of Chloe Giordano [...] who produces everything from tiny coin-sized depictions of woodland creatures to entire book covers typography and all. The Oxford-based illustrator is entirely self-taught, learning her craft "through a lot of trying things out and messing them up." Each piece is deeply connected to her pencil drawings, as she works out many of the details on paper before turning to thread. Giordano frequently fields questions on her Tumblr and you can follow more of her progress on Instagram." A 2.5-year old previously -- this is new work.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Nigerian synth-funk pioneer William Onyeabor died January 16, 2017. Onyeabor previously on MF.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
"In North Lawndale, Chicago, a public basketball court is changing the way people relate to local police. Built just last October, it's a half court built right next to the West 10th district police station, and it's designed to get cops to shoot hoops with young men and women they might otherwise never meet."

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I have a ton of old classic Mac software and bits of hardware that I need to clear out of here. But, is tossing it into a landfill really the only way?I have a semi-large collection of classic Mac apps and games that I need to get out of here. We're talking mostly OS 8 software (plus a few OS 7 things) including Adobe apps on floppies (with SN) and cool games (Zoombinis!) Most everything includes manuals, too. Hardware includes a great Umax flatbed scanner (SCSI) and, possibly, a PowerComputing PowerCenter 100 (if I can figure how to ship the monitor.) I was arranging a deal with a non MeFite who has a classic Mac collection, but she's dropped off the face of the earth and hasn't responded to nudges in ages, so I fear that option is dead. Sadly, there's no place around here that would take it all as a donation. I'm simply looking for someone to spring for shipping for everything. Anyone know of anyplace that takes this stuff? Or, is it all doomed to a landfill? :(

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
After 10 years almost exclusively using Apple products we are thinking about moving back to a PC environment but are weighing up how to and if it is worth the drama.Currently we use: A 10 year old 24" iMac (hard drive already replaced once, optical drive doesn't work) A 9 year old MacBook Pro that we use exclusively to run downloaded video files through our television (battery doesn't work, optical drive doesn't work) A 7 year old MacBook for general browsing and some word processing (intermittently shuts down) 2 iPhone 4S A 5 year old iPad All of these 'have their moments' and frankly I think will all die/need replacing over the next 1-3 years. The other main tech we use are kindles. We think that if we did this we would probably just completely switch over - computers and phones in one go. Our thought is that for our needs we would probably get two laptops and replacement phones, and some kind of device to relay files from a hard drive to the wide-screen TV we own (we live in Turkey so roku stick is not really an option and trying to run stuff through the Internet on our LG smart TV has proven to be ridiculously difficult). And I do love my iPad so maybe a tablet device if I found something as good. We previously were seriously in to photography, and found the iMac to be good for that (and have the Adobe Creative suite) but now just want something that we can do a bit of photo editing, surf the Internet and organise all our multiple files. And to run movies and TV. Our son desperately wants us to move to a PC environment for gaming - both for games available only on PC and the fact we can upgrade graphics cards (there are a lot of games he can't currently play because our graphics card is not good enough on the iMac). The other things the computer gets used for is homeschool, general internet browsing and a bit or word/excel/PDF stuff. So - other than the hassle of transferring files from an OSX to PC environment, and the sunk cost on the ridiculous number of IOS apps we have bought, what else do I need to consider before I defect from the cult of Mac?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Conor Knighton is a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning. During the course of 2016, he visited all 59 U.S. national parks in celebration of the 100th anniversary of the National Park Service. At every park, he stopped and recorded himself singing "America The Beautiful," and made this compilation video in which you can get a glimpse of them. (Instagram) [h/t Miss Cellania]

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I Am A Child – Children in Art History, more than 3,100 artists and more than 30,000 paintings. A sampling of various artists' works from horrific depictions of children in war to gently sublime storybook illustrations. Site created by Marco Regali Children in Art History Facebook page So many marvelous artists with many different styles, a random few of them: Maurice Sendak | Ken Danby | Chuah Thean Teng | Henry Jules Jean Geoffroy | David Graeme Baker | Johann Zoffany

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I've been looking for a scary movie that I saw brief moments of when I was a kid. All I remember is this little catapult throwing ice and a barrier between the desert and what looked to be a little farm that had a family out having a picnic in the 1800's. I think it might have had Ethan hawk in it but I can't be sure . Long story short the barrier brakes and the protagonist runs through it and is instantly attracted this family who are really like vampires. Anyone know what movie that is ? I figured this would be a good page to find out .

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
How to Build a Hard Tech Startup | CEO Jason Rosenthal deep-dives into the trials and tribulations surrounding the development of Lytro Cinema technology. Below are the lessons we've learned so far about how to build a hard tech startup. Although the examples are specific to Lytro, I believe they apply more generally to companies trying to build anything radically new leveraging cutting edge technology. Lytro previously

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
For the record, it was NOT on purpose, but a mistake in ID-ing the plant. Had thought it was a type of cabbage growing wild. Usually I do my homework on these things and do post photos to a certain group online to help with the ID-ing this time I just went with my gut. I don't have a photograph but will attempt to describe it as best as I can because I want to know what it was. Hospital wasn't clear - they went from kundalini awakening to Datura. From the photos of Datura - doesn't seem likely. If only the shape of the leaves. It looked like a fatter version of a dark green Bok Choy. It had one long root. Some tendrils shooting up ending in a bud - about 4 of them. Straight up. It was curled up - not flat on the ground - like the a/m cabbage. Place - Israel Time January 13 Took some effort to dig up. Way of ingestion - cooked in a cast-iron pan with oil, garlic, salt. It got burned, ate it anyway. A bit bitter. 20 minutes into it TSHTF - woozy, heart palps, called medics, hospitalization - unpleasant is an understatement. Visuals, lots of shamanic insights. But would never do a repeat if only due to losing consciousness eventually and having to be brought back 3x. WTF was the name of this plant? Looked at mandrake - eh - maybe - the shooting tendrils are not present in the mandrake that I'm aware of and the symptoms don't match either.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
And then be able to share that customized map with other users, to use on their phones when navigating. Also open to other mapping software with decent navigation capabilities.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I searched the previous topics and didn't see this one specifically: I have an old Sprint iPhone 4 that I want to give to someone to use with a Tmobile plan. Sprint says they can't unlock it, Apple says the same- that it's Sprint's job, and the local cell places Ive trued also refuse. Does anyone have any advice? Is Sprint lying when they say they can't? Thanks in advance.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
I am a New England Patriots fan who works with a Steelers fan. In anticipation of the game this weekend, I would like very much to wear some sort of Patriots shirt tomorrow. What brick-and-mortar store would I go to in order to find a Patriots shirt/hoodie/whatever? Difficulty level: NW Chicago suburbs.What stores does one go to for out-of-town team sportswear? I know Old Navy sometimes has a range of sports teams T-shirts, but they are hit-and-miss. I don't want to go to like 5 different places tonight, so if anyone knows of a store where they are more likely than not to have something Patriots-related, that would be great. I am a woman, but men's clothes are no problem.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Will I get in trouble bringing them back over the border?I'm going on vacation to Mexico this weekend. I'll only be there a few days. I'm currently not pregnant or trying to get pregnant. But I'm also NOT on any hormonal birth control and in a relationship, so I'm a little concerned about Zika. I know birth control pills are over the counter in Mexico, so I was thinking about going to a pharmacy as soon as I arrive, buying a month's worth, and taking them while on vacation and after returning home to be extra pre-cautious. Are there any problems with this plan that I'm not thinking of? Am I allowed to bring the pills back over the border? Thanks for the help.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
Current events has made me realize that I need to learn more about China, it's history, it's politics and particularly what it's doing in the world right now.I've started doing some reading but sourcing has been a challenge, particularly being unfamiliar with sources both inside and outside of China so I don't know where bias and POV lie. Also the issue navigating through propaganda both Chinese and as I have also discovered US and Western based propaganda. So I'm looking for help with sources, ones that are good at sorting through the crap. More bias sources are also fine with the bias explained. Learning about Chinese media and it's relation to the state would be good. If any one has any must read books on China would be great as well. I'm also particularly interested in what China is doing in Africa. What do I need to become and expert on all things China?

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
The percentage of 15- and 16-year-olds who had been drunk in the previous month plummeted from 42 per cent in 1998 to 5 per cent in 2016. The percentage who have ever used cannabis is down from 17 per cent to 7 per cent. Those smoking cigarettes every day fell from 23 per cent to just 3 per cent. This is how Iceland did it and why the Icelandic strategy for preventing/reducing teen substance use may or may not work elsewhere.

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