posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Katha Pollitt believes it's because, unlike gay marriage, "Reproductive rights are inescapably about women." Same-sex marriage is something men want. Lesbian couples account for the majority of same-sex marriages, but even the vernacular "gay marriage" types it as a male concern. That makes it of interest to everyone, because everything male is of general interest. Though many of the groundbreaking activists and lawyers who have fought for same-sex marriage are lesbians, gay men have a great deal of social and economic power, and they have used it, brilliantly, to mainstream the cause. According to Gail Collins in the New York Times, abortion rights doesn't have the advantage gay marriage does of having the business community behind it to "rise up in support," when bans are proposed and enacted. Marilyn Katz in In These Times comes to similar conclusions and believes it's down to "the power of money and never-ending misogyny," even among gay rights allies. She adds While I and most other feminists applaud the successful protests against Indiana's retrograde actions and have been among the most staunch defenders of gay rights—and in fact I would argue that we are the birth mothers of the movement through our insistence on decoupling sex from procreation—I find the disparate trajectories of our movements and society's disparate response to our injuries more than a little disturbing. Meanwhile, Slate writer Mark Joseph Stern points out how conservative attempts to link abortion and gay rights have failed (to the benefit of gay marriage) because It's Logical to Oppose Abortion and Support Gay Marriage. Catholic Millennials follow the pattern by being more in favor of gay rights and contraception but still split on abortion. Amanda Hess describes the existence of antichoice activism by gay activist Jimmy LaSalvia who says ""There are many people in the LGBT community who think that abortion is about personal freedom, just like gay rights is. It is about personal freedom—but only in the sense that the personal freedom of an unborn child is important."

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Is cole slaw a chopped salad? If not, what's the difference?Culturally, cole slaw seems like more of a condiment to me, especially as it is often served alongside a sandwich in a little plastic cup. But I made this Pea, Radish, & Cabbage Slaw tonight, and it seemed an awful lot like a chopped salad. Relatedly, are other slaws different from cole slaw? Does cole slaw have a narrower definition than other slaws? Would love to hear from any food historians or anthropologists who can shed some light on this.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
How do I cultivate a more relaxing/sensual/sexy mood while masturbating, as a trans woman very much over old dudely habits? Vibrators, lube, and Bjork inside..For many years, masturbating was this complex, dysphoric thing for me, and I approached it very very much in a mental and disembodied way. It was about visuals and fantasy, but also about pretending my body wasn't my body. As you might imagine, this contributed to some pretty painful dynamics in my life. I'm happy to report that I am 100% over this BS. I have enjoyed the increasing confidence and vibrancy that transition is bringing to many other parts of my life (about 5 months in). Hormones made my sex drive near nonexistent, but now I'm feeling a little color in my cheeks and ready to bring explorations to the personal, lovely space of self-pleasure. So! My question to you is what are your best tips, tricks, strategies, whatever for cultivating and exploring what masturbation can be for me, now that it's removed from its old connotations? Already, I have started exploring by getting a vibrator, lube, and also exploring a less visual/mental and more embodied focus while going at it. I really really enjoy this! Do you have any suggestions for increasing my sense of embodiment and feeling grounded? I am interested in exploring scent a bit in some capacity (I know that I really love lavender, but I want to explore more!) As for music, I find myself super in-tune with the vibe in Bjork's Homogenic. It's personal, sensual, and electro-fuzzy without feeling too party-y (I like warm, organic electronic sounds, but I quickly feel offput by anything that makes me feel like i'm at urban outfitters or a club or anything like that.) Gillian Welch is lovely and I feel an affinity for that gentle soulful thing, though her arrangements can be a little bit too repetitive sometimes.. In terms of strategies of genital stimulation, one awesome thing about the vibrator is that I can have a decisively non-thrusty stimulation for my genitals that makes me feel more feminine and less dysphoric. I'm willing to explore other types of stimulation including anal in the long term, but it still scares me. And in general, after years of having sex in ways that sucked for me, and after a childhood full of sexual threat and emotional abuse, I'm trying to be really patient and gentle with myself. I'd like to explore more all-over and body-engaging stimulation than just try new penetrative techniques or whatnot. If that makes sense. Also, I have almost never used lube in the past (I know) and juuust got my first water-based lube, which I've tried and liked. I think I'm off to a good start, but I would love more ideas to play with, including any kinds of strategies, games, ways to really concentrate on sensation, etc. thank you!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I just picked up this book on collective/anarchist childcare and got intrigued by the concept....help me find more! I just happened to find a book on anarchist childcare - care for families, kids and parents through collective action. I can't seem to find other books on it, and a Google search just turned up a lot of blog posts about how parents, families and children are often left out of anarchist movements. I'd be really keen to find other books that address anarchist childcare, that are less about getting left out of a movement and more about how it works and success stories. I'd also be interested in reading more about anarchist parenting specifically, but what I've found online so far has involved "attachment parenting" and "unschooling", which I'm less interested in reading about. Are there other forms of anarchist parenting?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Short stories. Crime. Hardboiled. Noir. Something like that. 700 words maximum. Make it tight. Make it hum

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
"Basically, somebody who worked at Twitter back in 2009 added me to that list, and all of a sudden my online network got upgraded to the kind of numbers that are usually only reserved for rock stars." Nobody Famous — what it's like to have the social network of a celebrity, without actually being famous, by Mefi's own Anil Dash.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
So I have a few years to kill and I'd like to spend them fully understanding what physicists and mathematicians know about time. I'm not looking for any sort of summary, I want to understand the math from the bottom up. I once caught my father going through the Annus Mirabilis papers with a red pen; that's the sort of proficiency I have in mind.Unfortunately my physics and calculus largely left off at the end of Freshman year, so I have a ways to go. I'm looking for some sort of hierarchy of the form: In order to understand the math for Special Relativity you'll need to understand Z In order to understand Z you'll need to understand X and Y In order to understand X you'll need to understand U, V, W Etc. I realize it's not as simple as a straight line, but that's the general idea. I'd also like to find such a chart for the math that goes into Quantum Physics.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Where do i find small batch handcrafted spicerubs to send as a gift.I have a friend that loves to bbq and wanted to give him a selection of spice rubs that he can use for the summer. He loves spicy food and is a grill master. Thanks in advance

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have a 160GB iPod Classic that's a few years old. Over the past few months it's needed to be charged more often. But three days ago, it would'nt charge at all. A friend sent me to a repair place that put a new battery in for $50. I got it charged it all night and it started the day with the charge meter at full but within an hour it shut down. I took it back to the store and the guy said it was a defective battery, and he put in a new one. I charged it all night again and the same thing happened. There's a warranty so I can keep doing this, but I'm wondering if something else is wrong that needs to be fixed. Also, the iPod works perfect when it's hooked up to a power source. And I'm moving to a place with a longer subway commute so I'll need my iPod more than ever. Thanx in advance.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Bruce Jenner Says He's Transitioning to a Woman [New York Times] Bruce Jenner, the Olympic gold medalist and member of the Kardashian family, ended months of speculation Friday night when he announced during an ABC television special that he identified as a woman and was making the transition from male to female. Related: - Bruce Jenner, Transgender American [The Atlantic] - Bruce Jenner's remarkable authenticity: What he teaches us about life, laughter & vulnerability. [Salon] - Trans people need an icon. But Bruce Jenner is the worst possible choice. [Washington Post] - How To Talk About Bruce Jenner [Think Progress] - Bruce Jenner's Kids Take To Social Media To Voice Support Ahead Of Diane Sawyer Special. [Huffington Post]

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I know the bare minimum about this person--her age, the city she lives in, not even her name. A (tumblr) post from her came across my dash about how she is planning to kill herself next week. I need resources, preferably where I could actually talk to someone and get them familiar with the situation.I have no idea if this should be/belongs here but honestly I don't know what to do and I don't necessarily need point by point suggestions from you guys, I just need a reference on where I COULD go for that sort of thing at least. Going to try to keep this short. - All of this is taking place on tumblr. I do not know this person's name, I got her to tell me what city she lives in, I know how old she is. That's about it. - She is getting a lot of responses on her blog but seems to be shutting most of them down. - As it's on tumblr I am at basically at her whims when it comes to her replying to things. She was very chatty yesterday which was good but less so today. - She made a vague post about killing herself next week. - She is bipolar. I am bipolar, so I got her talking about that a little bit. I'm not sure if she's medicated but I think she probably isn't. She didn't seem to want to talk about it. - She is young. High school young. I'm like 30 so I'm trying here. - She posted just a little bit ago that she is hearing things and is scared. I haven't been able to get her to respond since then. She seems set on not killing herself until after she does a show next week. I'm not confident but she seemed VERY intent on it so... Her perspectives, I'm not sure how true they are because she seems to be super depressed: - She has a family situation that she thinks is pretty bad. She doesn't think she can get out of that situation for another ~4 years or so. - She has lost a lot of her friend support network due to infiltration by a toxic friend who sort of took the group over. This toxic friend also 'stole' all of her interests including her favorite band. - She wants to be a musician but her parents won't let her. I could break down our convos but the long and short of it is a lot of people were sending 'it gets better' and 'please don't kill yourself' which is great and all that she was getting messages but she was brushing all of those away and not really responding. I've read suggestions about what to say online but I feel like I'm sort of grasping at straws here now. I'm just trying to be understanding and optimistic enough to not encourage her but not enough to scare her away because she's shut some other people down. Really I just wanted to keep her talking. I tried calling the suicide prevention hotline and the woman was remarkably unhelpful. Basically I was told if I didn't know her contact info there was nothing at all they can do. I get that, but she couldn't point me to anyone who could maybe counsel me through something. Can/should I call the police? Would they even be able to do anything? Would this help this situation or escalate it? If you have any advice whatsoever I would appreciate it. Really sorry if this shouldn't be here.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I wrongly assumed that the Coney Island amusement parks (Luna Park, Deno's) would be open weekday afternoons mid May. Having gotten the family excited to spend an afternoon there on our upcoming vacation, I am now left scrambling for an alternative. What's better than Coney Island?Two kids - 6 and 10 who are very much into amusement parks and not very interested in museums or historical landmarks. Things we are already planning to do: Top of the ROC, Matilda, The Beast boat ride, the High Line, Times Square, Central Park, possible Prospect Park, walking the Brooklyn Bridge, maybe Museum of Natural History. We are fond of street food, pizza, and ice cream and plan to hit food trucks if possible. I am now debating another show, maybe Stomp? Some other kind of ride or experience or physical activity? I need something fun and exciting, a worthy substitute. We are only in town during the week. Note - this may not feel like much of a blow to some, but the kids were looking forward to it.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have several federal student loans from graduate school. They are in groups according to interest rate (5-8%) and the balance on each varies, from $2500-$60,000. Is there any benefit to proportioning the payment to each group, or strategy for paying them down while making income-based payments?I am just beginning the process of paying my loans back at an income-based rate, and I see that I can divide my monthly payment among the different loan groups. Is there any benefit in throwing money at the low principal, medium-interest group, or should I try to proportion my payments to the higher principal groups? Or does it really matter? I was granted income-based repayment so my monthly fee is something like $375, versus $1000 on the standard repayment plan. I realize this payment is based on a 25 year repayment calendar, but would love to pay them off sooner. (Although it's unlikely I'll ever move into a higher income bracket). Also, will paying more than the monthly amount affect my income-based status? (Not a lot, but, say, $20-50 each month), or is it better to save that money or do something else with it?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
For a family member. How do I find a therapist/psychiatrist in my area (Colorado Springs) who can help with addiction & mental health issues?BONUS: medicaid, sliding scale, *or* there is a family member who can pay cash for 'a little while'. Is there some web resource I'm missing that would help? Google isn't very helpful. I think it's also weird that no sites say 'taking new patients' or not. I'll take anything ya got. Thx!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Tsunago is a pencil sharpener with a clever twist; it can take the stubs of pencils too short to easily use, and join them into a useful sized writing instrument again. [via]

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Angela McRobbie on the rise of the creative economy. Why are young people attracted to creative jobs with low pay, and how does this benefit the neoliberal project?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Heaven Knows I'm Mexican Now: Morrissey's Latino connection goes live "I would hate to see a cheesy Mexican tribute to Morrissey," he says. "I knew I had to use well-known Mexican artists" – among others, the group features underground icon Chetes, trumpet player Alex Escobar and Cafe Tacuba's violinist Alejandro Flores – "and to mix it with electronic elements and other non-Mexican elements. To just play these songs with mariachi trumpets would be touristic – we didn't want to come and dress in ponchos." Mexican musicians pay tribute to Morrissey and The Smiths with 'Mexrrissey' tour "According to our sources [Morrissey] is aware. I don't know if he's going to attend any of the shows. We're not sure if he's going to like it, he might hate it. But I think that's what happens with him and fans of his music — people are very passionate. They might love it they might think it's sacrilegio [sacrilegious]." Listen here: Ask Everyday is Like Sunday

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Where can I go in Philadelphia to get a beer to enjoy while working on my laptop? Strict quiet isn't required, but reasonably reliable wifi is a must. I'd be equally happy with a coffee shop that serves beer or a bar where laptop use wouldn't be weird. Outlets aren't necessary.Brew/Ultimo on 15th is the only place I can think of, and it's great, just looking for variety. Capogiro's West Philly location no longer serves booze, not does Bar Cafe on 17th from what I've read. I know that various coworking spaces have booze, but that's not what I'm looking for. Bonus points for something accessible from West Philly by MFL or trolley without transferring, so Fishtown, Kensington, Northern Liberties > South Philly (for the purposes of this question - south philly is great).

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Does anyone have experience with a truly super glue? My sunglasses just snapped in half at the bridge. I've had them forever, so I can't really fault the manufacturer. But they're prescription, and I'd like to avoid having to go out and get a new pair right now if I can help it. Is there a glue in existence that bonds quickly and permanently?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have a Metro shelving unit from the Container Store that needs wheels. The casters they sell are really expensive. Will another brand of caster work? Needless to say, I don't have a lot of experience with hardware. Thanks!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
An earthquake with a magnitude of 7.8 has hit Nepal, killing over 1,000 people. The epicenter was just outside Kathmandu, but the effects have been felt as far away as Tibet, Bangladesh, and India. Regular updates at The Guardian.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Kate Mulgrew tells the Chicago Tribune's Heidi Stevens about giving her daughter up for adoption and reconnecting 20 years later (Video). The story is a key moment from her new autobiography Born With Teeth. Also: NPR audio/transcript, AARP article.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Which organizations working with arts, culture, activism, and/or social justice are based in Central Asia (especially Uzbekistan) and would take international volunteers?I've been thinking about visiting Uzbekistan (and maybe the surrounds) for a spell, since I apparently have some ancestry there but know nothing about it. I really enjoy volunteering and community work, and was wondering if there were organizations or groups based there that I could work with - as a volunteer, artist in residence, anything. I'd especially be interested in groups that worked with LGBTQ rights, gender/feminism, arts, and/or international relations, but I'm also really open to suggestion.

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
An oral history of The Littlest Hobo, Canada's greatest TV show. "My second episode was a few years later, as a DEA agent who was tracking some drug smuggling that was going on in a movie unit. So I was undercover as a vampire in this movie. And the dog was helping me unearth the bad guys."

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posted 2 days ago on metafilter
TWO PROMINENT DOCTORS. ONE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LOOKING FOR ROMANCE. AND A LIKABLE MISFIT WHO SPUN TALL TALES. THEIR LIVES INTERSECTED AFTER AN INTENSE RELATIONSHIP TURNED SOUR, BUT NO ONE GUESSED THAT THE PATH TO LOVE WOULD LEAD TO MURDER. - Texas Monthly: "A Deadly Dance" By Skip Hollandsworth

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