posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
Serious advice about protecting your privacy/identity online is often monstrously impractical. Which are the tools/practices that offer the best real-world security-convenience tradeoff?As an example, installing a password manager and (over time) converting all my passwords to random ones ...that's been a big gain in security and about a wash in terms of convenience or effort. On the one hand there are recurring annoying situations, like installing an app on my iPad, where it's sandboxed away and can't auto-fill, and I have to copy and paste the password, etc. On the other hand, I already had at least some variety in the passwords I kept in my head and often forgot which ones were for which site, and it removes that hassle completely. Two-factor authentication for the password manager and my google/twitter/fb accounts is also a pretty minimal inconvenience, since I always have my phone on me, it takes a few seconds to input the token, and you rarely have to do it again on the same device. As a counterexample, doing all my web browsing through Tor and/or a VPN/proxy is just too slow (and annoying in various other ways) to really stick with it, even if the security gains are much greater. I realize that this privacy-for-convenience tradeoff is not something anyone can totally avoid, but what are the inefficiencies on that spectrum, the ways to get a lot more privacy/security without much extra inconvenience/effort?

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
A friend has been given an opening by a leader in a large, conservative organization to help him understand women's experiences of sexism in the workplace. Is there a book or article by a woman talking about her experiences you would recommend?This person is a conservative Christian leader who is, I think, open to changing his opinions about this subject. He's been hearing women who work there saying they have problems with the way they are treated, and he acknowledges that this seems to be a legitimate problem, but that he doesn't understand what they're talking about. He thinks women have a pretty good numerical representation and voice at this workplace. I think he himself sometimes treats women in sexist ways without realizing it. My friend thinks, given this admission, that he might be open to reading a book or article that might help him understand the issues better. We think the best option would be something by one or more women relating their experiences of what it's like to be on the receiving end of sexism in the workplace. Something that might help him empathize with his employees. It would need to be something that doesn't have too much feminist jargon and that isn't hostile to Christianity, something that won't give him an easy way to discount the writer's experiences. Any recommendations?

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
I'm looking to jump ship from my current job, and I'm struggling with keeping my cool. I've been dealing with some pretty rough anxiety as I respond to recruiters and companies, slip out of the office for interviews, prepare presentations for said interviews, and do it over and over again with multiple businesses. How can I deal with the guilt of completely dialing it in at work so I can find a new job?I could use some advice. Here's the overview: - I work at a small tech company with a very relaxed time off policy, so nothing I'm doing by taking some hours off here and there during my job search is technically wrong - Morale on my team is the lowest it's ever been, and I am feeling very negative during work hours - I'm getting my work done, but just barely. I am typically an overachiever and have been dealing with burnout for several months, and I can't keep up the level of engagement and productivity I have in the past - I've been actively interviewing with almost a dozen businesses, and each interview requires several rounds, presentation prep, video calls, quick responses to emails, slinking in and out of the office, "getting coffee," lying to my manager... - I have a ~12 hour a week commitment to classes on top of this, and after having a social life there is minimal time for self care I'm now at the point where I'm experiencing severe anxiety anytime I am alone, and I need to find time to talk to a therapist. I've scheduled more formal vacation time off of work and crammed it full with as many interviews as possible, but I'm beginning to feel like I should quit my job so I can avoid losing my mind. How do I deal with my guilt? Is it reasonable to just quit? Should I give up on hunting for a new job, and suck it up? Or should I just grind hard until something comes through? I don't know how long it will take me to nail down a new gig, but I have enough savings for a few months off work.

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
$40,000 was deposited in my bank account last week, and it's not mine. I've figured out that it was tax money owed to my old employer (from 2013) but they never claimed it so the tax office waited until now and forwarded it to me. What do I do now?The details are needlessly complicated, but as far as I can tell my old company paid some tax on my behalf due to complex foreign employment tax laws, so I had a large tax return that year but most of it should have gone to the company. I signed a form saying they can cash the cheque and keep the money, but it looks like they never cashed the cheque. So, a year after the cheque was issued without being cashed, the tax office cancelled the cheque and desposited the money directly into my account. By this point it's about two years since I was last employed by the company. This is my train of thought at the moment: From what I can tell, the money is legally theirs. No one in the company has noticed this since late 2013, so it seems unlikely that they would notice now. So, unless I get in touch with them, they are unlikely to come to me looking for the money. This is a huge multinational company, and no one's going to be hurt if I keep the money. I'm not badly off, and don't NEED the money and will live perfectly well without it, but of course would love to have it. If I did end up keeping it, I would want to give a good chunk of it away to good projects/charities to spread the goodness around. But it's not my money. And, despite how much I'd like it or how little it matters to a giant corporation, it's still not my money. I think there are a couple of basic options: 1) Give it back. 2) Keep it, spend it, hope that no one ever comes looking. 3) Keep it, leave it it some high interest account, and if someone comes asking I can give it back, but in the meantime it's been earning interest. So what do I do? What would you do?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I just got my new MacBook Pro and I want to get to work, but I cannot figure out why active windows remain in the background. Clicking on an inactive window doesn't bring it to the foreground. If I want to actually see what's in the active window, I have to minimize the inactive window that's on top. I've looked at different settings but I don't see how to change this. Help is much appreciated.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Although competing theories about urban planning were part of the long battle, it was about more than just the best way to move people through a sprawling megalopolis. The freeway became a focal point for resistance to paternalistic urban renewal, but then, ultimately, an example of socially responsible civil engineering. When the rubber finally hit the road on the 105, Judge Pregerson's ruling ensured that central planners could no longer impose public-works projects on communities without residents having their say.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
"You'll be standing in front of a classroom, and you'll want to look pretty." Mary-Anne Mohanraj writes about a conversation with her breast surgeon, who was shocked when Mohanraj suggested she might not want breast reconstruction after surgery. Meanwhile, many women do choose not to have reconstructions - even though studies from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons have found that more than 70% of women aren't fully informed about their reconstructive options before mastectomy.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
A recent study suggests younger women who have heart attacks may hesitate to get help because they're afraid of being labeled hypochondriacs. But the bigger problem is just how justified that fear really is. - Is medicine's gender bias killing young women? [Pacific Standard] Some of the most popular cardiac misdiagnoses that heart attack survivors have told me about include physician guesses like indigestion, menopause, stress, gall bladder issues, exhaustion, pulled muscles, dehydration and more. But perhaps the most distressing misdiagnosis to trip from the lips of an Emergency Department physician is "anxiety". - When your doctor mislabels you as an "anxious female" [Heart Sisters] "Women may experience a combination of things they don't always associate with a heart attack," Lichtman says. "Maybe we need to do a better job of explaining and describing to the public what a heart attack looks and feels like." - Younger women hesitate to say they're having a heart attack [NPR] "We need to move away from the image of an older man clutching his chest, when we think about acute coronary syndrome," which includes heart attacks and angina, study researcher Dr. Louise Pilote, director of the Division of General Internal Medicine at McGill University Health Centre, says. "The reality is that chest pain, age and gender are no longer the definers of a heart attack." - Heart attack symptoms differ in young women [American Heart Association] Despite the fact that half of the 17.3 million deaths from cardiovascular disease (CVD) each year happen in females , women are still discriminated against when it comes to the management and treatment of this disease. Women are more likely than men to be under-diagnosed and under-treated, mostly because the presentation, progression and outcomes of the disease are different and less understood in women than in men. - Heart to heart: experts call for an end to gender bias in cardiovascular disease [World Heart Federation] Cardiovascular disease (CVD) is the most common cause of death in American women and accounts for a full one-third of all deaths.1 Although the common perception may be that CVD affects mainly men, there is equal prevalence of this disease between the genders by the age of 40, and by the age of 60 more women than men are affected. More women than men have died from CVD causes on a yearly basis since the mid 1980s, and whereas the CVD mortality has steadily declined in men over the past 30 years, it has remained steady in women until very recently when CVD mortality was noted to decrease for both genders. - Status of women in cardiovascular clinical trials [Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology] "I attended an FDA workshop five years ago where the agency seemed receptive to mandating that more women be included in medical device trials," Redberg said. "But that still hasn't happened. The perception among industry sponsors who attended this workshop was that it's harder and more expensive to enroll women in these trials." - Medical research still lags on women [Boston Globe] Previously.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
If Cats Were on OKCupid [ via | via | for dogs ]

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
My family is considering a move to Nashville from Chicagoland next year. The idea of being able to afford living in the city center after having been trapped in the 'burbs sounds appealing. Listings at places like Zillow (via GreatSchools.org) and Trulia show ratings for assigned schools in these areas... and the ones for non-suburban schools are scary, like one to three out of ten kinda bad. How seriously should I take these ratings? I'm interested in both specific-to-Nashville comments and more general thoughts on school ratings.So are these ratings crap? I have a suspicion they penalize schools for having less moneyed, less white student bodies. But if these are garbage, what should I use? As for Nashville, any thoughts on neighborhoods? We're going to be looking for a 4 or 5 BR with a decent-sized yard. I'd be commuting to Franklin and would like to keep my drive time minimal.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
We've decided to go to Germany in early June, rent a car, and drive from Frankfurt to Dresden over the course of a week. Where shall we go?We're married, 40s, and will be traveling with a German friend of similar age. The endpoints are fixed, and Quedlinburg and the Harz Mountains have been suggested as one good destination. We've been in Germany before, but this is the first trip where we'll rent a car. We're looking for smaller towns (places the ICE doesn't stop!), outdoor destinations, half-day-or-less hikes, castles, and the like.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I need pictures that are funny or creative in some way, but also have several subjects/actions visible. Here's one that works really well. Here's a page with several that could work. Can you help me find more that are 6th grade appropriate and have limited/no text on them?I'm a 6th grade teacher in Marin, CA, at a fantastic public school. Part of my class is teaching grammar and writing through images. I have a link on my blog (most recent post, link in my profile if you want to know more) explaining the process. But it's surprisingly hard to find suitable images, and I need some help. Here are some that don't work, either because of content or lack of subjects/actions. GIFs could work, though I'd prefer static images. Thanks for the help, hivemind!

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Practitioners of Marie Kondo's tidying method, can you please help me understand the experience of an object under consideration "sparking joy"?I'm halfway through Kondo's book, but am still stymied by the idea of an object sparking joy. What does that mean? What does that feel like? I found mono blanco's commentary helpful—maybe there's another idiom (along the lines of "useful or beautiful") that would resonate more with me? a translation issue?—but I am, despite being a crouton-petter about specific types of things, uh, not good at being led by my feelings. If you have tried this method, and it has worked for you, what kinds of thoughts or feelings led you to keep objects? What did you tell yourself in order to let things go? If "joy" is an insufficient metric (and I mean really, my Zip-It gives me no joy, but it is absolutely the necessary object to have on hand for a clogged sink), what other criteria did you use to make decisions? I would also like specific advice about discarding clothing; I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe, but can't get my head around quite how to execute it. How do you connect with a piece of clothing/handbag/pair of shoes? How can you assess whether something suits you, especially when you are the only one looking at it? Part of why I don't particularly love clothes is that I tend to regard them as functional/non-functional, and the idea of how to feel good in an outfit escapes me. Your experience with KonMari and advice, please? Thank you.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm on a couple of email lists, and what happens is someone will email everyone, then someone else will reply to everyone, and so on... Sometimes it's something I'm interested in, sometimes it isn't. Is there a way to have an initial email go to everyone, then those who are interested can continue the conversation among themselves and those who are not can just ignore it and never see any follow-ups?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I am searching for an apartment for the first time in my life and all I seem to be finding are Craigslist scams or people that don't reply. What's the best way to look for an apartment?I live in New York in Westchester County and I am fairly flexible about where I can move to. I am looking for something in Westchester or Putnam county. I have mainly been searching through Craigslist. I've also used Padmappers.com, Hotpads.com, Rent.com and Apartments.com all without much luck. What are the best resources to find apartment listings in my area? Any other advice about apartment hunting in 2015?

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I get really anxious before I hang out with my boyfriend. Its frustrating. What can I do?My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 1/2 months. He is 25 and I am 22. This is my third boyfriend and third longest relationship. This is his longest relationship ever. I am typically a very anxiety prone person. I overthink everything, I know this. I get so caught up in my head and make problems out of small things and skew everything. Every time before I see my boyfriend, I get really nervous. I think about our relationship all day and think about hanging out later. I worry about it being awkward when I see him or what I'll have to even say or if he'll think I'm really boring or weird. When I see him it's usually just fine, we talk and hang out and have a good time together. Almost always when we hang out I go over to his house. His family is a lot closer than mine, his mom is always super nice and inviting and warm and his brother and dad kind of do their own thing but they'll talk for a min or whatever. I have a lot of anxiety about inviting him over to my house, he's only been over like twice, once on thanksgiving and once just picking me up. He's asked why, I've told him there's notbing really to do at my house, my parents are always saying it's not the best night, I think they don't like entertaining and stuff, but that I can do what I want. I don't know what my problem is. We planned on seeing each other today and I was finally going to invite him over, but I'm freaking out. I think it's because as a kid I was really embarrassed of our house, it was always really dirty and stuff. I've never liked inviting people over. My Dad and stepmom can be embarrassing and I hardly ever talk to them, and don't want my boyfriend to feel awkward. And they won't let us go to my room, and we only have two couches, and that's where my parents are all night... I don't know. How can I deal, I hate my brain for the anxiety like this, ugh.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
3 Second Cooking, in Japan: Fried Shrimp and Fried Dumplings.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
My friend is graduating in 6 weeks from college. She is usually really animated and bubbly, but I was hanging out with her yesterday, and she mentioned in passing that she's thinking about going back to college for another major (she is currently getting her second major after her first didn't work out for her), but she's iffy on whether her dad will let her or not.She's a math major, and she said that while you'd think that math would be a great major for the real world, there is very little out there for her because she has never taken a marketing class or learned any programs or anything. She said that she has very little that is marketable to the real world. She said this in a light 'haha' way, as we were waiting to jump in the college river. For whatever reason, I kind of joked back that I don't know what the hell I'm doing either (I don't. I'm a Psychology major who's a senior.) It was a light conversation. I've never known her to be anxious about anything... she always seems like the happiest person in the room. So for whatever reason, I didn't think much of it. But I had this sense through the night that she was really pensive underneath that cheerful exterior. I texted her after she had left and asked if there was anything wrong, perhaps if she's worried about her future. She texted back that she's really scared and anxious about her future. I reassured her that I'm always there for her, and I'd love to help her. The problem is, I have no idea how to help her. I'm in the same position and haven't found it out for myself! I can listen, but that won't change her situation. I don't want to see her go through the same quarter life crisis that I know all to well.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
The oldest wooden statue in the world was found in a Russian bog in 1890. The Shigir Idol is believed to be about 9500 years old. It is 2.8 meters high; an additional 1.93 meters of statue were lost during the turmoil of the 20th century.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Mac McClelland's Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story is kind of changing my life. What else can I read that touches on similar issues?I'm looking for more personal writing about PTSD induced by something other than military service. Memoirs would be great but I'll take essays, blog posts, whatever. Happy to cast a wide net here and sort through the responses afterwards. Trawling Goodreads is turning up some possibilities but I would love some personal recommendations.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Yemen's President Abd-Rabbu Mansour Hadi has fled the country as Saudi Arabia initiates a bombing campaign against the Houthi rebels. A ground invasion by Egypt and other members of Saudi Arabia's 10-country coalition is apparently to follow the bombing. The United States has withdrawn its special operations forces from Yemeni territory with a potential civil war looming. The Houthis are aligned with former president Ali Abdullah Saleh, who was ousted from the presidency during the Arab Spring. They have recently seized intelligence files that contain details of US operations from Yemen's National Security Bureau. Updates and analysis from these twitter handles. (Previously)

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
There was a recent thread on the green about what happens when people are arrested, And then I saw the 22 March 2015 episode of John Oliver's Last Week Tonight that discussed how people get screwed over with municipal fines. How can I help to Shut Down The Fuck Barrel?It's been bugging me for a few years now: more and more it seems like if you make one wrong move in America, you can lose your job, your house, your family, your savings ... everything. Somebody can't afford to pay a ticket or fine, and months later they're arrested, they lose their job, their landlord tosses everything they own out onto the street because they don't pay rent ... it makes me sick. And often when I hear these stories, it all starts over some trivial amount of money, like $40. And I find myself thinking "I wish I could have paid that $40 for them". And yes, I know I sound like an entitled bastard for thinking that $40 is "trivial". That's a lot of money to many people. Whether it's obvious or not, I count my blessings that I am at a place in life where I can think of $40 as "trivial". I'm not by any means rich. But I could afford to help a few people out. So what I'm asking is, basically: is there some way I can arrange to anonymously pay off some number of these kinds of bullshit trivial fines for random strangers? A few years ago I read about "Layaway Santas" who hang around at Target or Wal-Mart and pay off the layaway accounts of random strangers. Is there some way I could do this for people with, I dunno, unpaid parking tickets (or whatever)? I don't know a whole lot about how cops, fines, municipalities, warrants, tickets and so forth work. I don't want people hitting me up for donations. I also don't want to get mugged. I'm also somewhat concerned that if I were to just go down to the county courthouse and start handing people cash to bail themselves out or stuff like that, that I'd end up in jail myself. But I'm asking y'all: is there any way I could pull something like this off? There are probably charities that endeavor to do this kind of thing. But I'd like to do this on a more personal level, ala Clerk: "That will be $100." Person: "But - I don't have $100!" Me (to Clerk): "Here's $100." Although maybe this simply isn't possible. I'd like to stay as anonymous as possible. If anyone has ever done such a thing, I'd really like to hear about it. I understand that a "real" solution to this issue would involve politics and laws and so forth. But for the purpose of this question, I'd like to focus on how I could help people in the immediate here and now. Can it be done? How? Thank you.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I'm reaching out to my fellow Sydney-based Australians for recommendations on Accountants that are geared towards small business/consultancies. I've recently hung up my shingle as a consultant and would like to engage with an accountant that will grow with me and set me off on the right foot.My business is just me at the moment and I'm working with large organisations. Need tax advice, invoice/booking advice, and how to best structure my company. Stuff like that. I of course need someone who's knowledgeable, but it's also important to for me to work with someone (or someones) who is personable and accessible. If you've had a great experience, I'd love to hear about it. Feel free to email me directly if you're not comfortable making a public recommendation.

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
Inside America's Toughest Federal Prison For years, conditions inside the United States' only federal supermax facility were largely a mystery. But a landmark lawsuit is finally revealing the harsh world within. (SLNYT)

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posted 1 day ago on metafilter
I have a lot of things I want to do during my day, but I get overwhelmed by to-do lists. Is there a program that can manage them for me so I don't have to think about it?I am currently working part-time (8 hours) and doing an online certificate program. In the rest of my time, I have a bunch of things I want/need to be doing - learning programming through MOOCs, cleaning the house, cooking food, running errands, filling out internship applications, working out, etc. However, when I just make to-do lists I get really overwhelmed, I'm not sure what to do first, and I get frustrated. What I'm looking for is a program where I can plug in all the different things I want to do, how much time I want to spend on them, and then have the program schedule them throughout the week (taking into account my job). I've tried using Todoist but I can't really figure out how to get it to work for me. I want something that will tell me "you will be washing dishes from 3-3:30!" so that I don't have to decide whether I'm going to wash dishes right now or apply for an internship. I know I could schedule these things out myself, but it would take me a while and I'd probably end up second-guessing it. Does this kind of program exist out there?

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