posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.)She is a smart girl, well behaved, honor student, never in trouble at school, always been mature for her age. I like the BF. He is outgoing, motivated and very smart. We have tried to "keep an eye" on them - obviously not too well. I was initially very upset about this news. Yeah, I think 15 is too young. She is still my baby. I think high school in general is too young, but I was in high school when I had sex the first time so ... I told her, while I did not approve, I would put her on birth control. I told my husband she wanted to be on birth control, but not actually that she has already had sex. One step at a time for him. Her BF decided to tell his mom, WHY I DON'T REALLY KNOW. Now, all hell has broken loose. The mom wants the adults to meet, tell the kids that this is unacceptable, and that from now on, they have to be under our watchful eyes at all times. My husband was upset, but not too shocked. He was initially opposed to putting daughter on birth control, but has come around. He also wants them watched like a hawk, now. He wants the BF to only come to our house, not let her go to his. I feel that the genie is out of the bottle. I am trying to analyze my feelings about kids that age having sex and find that I am ambivalent, especially now that it has already happened. I know my husband and BF's mom (not sure about B.F's dad yet) would think I am NUTS if I say, maybe we shouldn't worry about it so much, as long as Daughter is on birth control. I think it is just a matter of time before it happens again - they start driving soon. Is the issue that they are not emotionally ready? Yes, they probably aren't. Is it that it is immoral? That is not my issue, but is probably the BF mom's issue. Why is sex such a big FUCKING (ha ha) anyway???? My daughter is upset - this is practically the end of her life. I'm trying to tell her that this will all settle down (without saying, you know, you two are 15 and could break up next month.) I don't want to have to chaperone them 24/7. But I don't want to abdicate my parental responsibility. My question is, what would you do in this situation?

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
The first British pier opened 200 years ago this month in Ryde, on the Isle of Wight. Photographer Simon Roberts spent three years documenting the country's remaining piers. (The Guardian) Roberts describes his collection of photographs, Pierdom, as "a comprehensive survey of Britain's Pleasure Piers," and he captures the current state of powerful reminder of the achievements of Victorian engineers and entrepreneurs. The Telegraph has a bit more on how he set up his process. The Photographers' Gallery has a slideshow of some of Simon's photos, and Lens Scratch has a still series of his photos.

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
Psychiatric magazine ads from the seventies.

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
My oven is bipolar: when I follow the instructions for frozen pizza, it's done in about 66% of the time, i.e. instructions say 18min, it's done in 12, usually less - 18min would burn it to a crisp. Thicker things, like pork roasts or heating a pre-cooked ham, are barely tepid in the center at the time in their instructions, i.e. instructions say 45min, takes over an hour to get to the recommended temperature. The oven is a generic, in-every-apartment-I've-ever-had kind of stove. What's it's problem?Preheating and all recipes and instructions are followed exactly, and it's consistent across different items and whether it's 350` or 450`; for example, porkchops count as "thin" and are done early; cookies, rolls, etc are "thin" as well, Banquet fried chicken is done sooner too, but closer to actual time. Baked potatoes (various varieties of potatoes) count as "thick" so they take about 1-1/2 hours despite cookbooks saying 1 hour is enough. It seems weird that, despite following directions, thin things are always crispified while thicker things never get cooked through. Is the stove wonky, or is there something I'm overlooking in its care and operation?

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
Margot Adler, most widely known as a journalist and New York correspondent for NPR, passed away this morning at 10:30 am at the age of 68 from complications related to endometrial cancer, according to a Facebook post from her son Alex. In addition to being a successful journalist and correspondent, Adler was a Wiccan priestess and a member of the board of advisers of the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans. Adler is well known in the pagan community in America for her seminal 1979 book Drawing Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess-Worshippers, and Other Pagans in America. Obituary.

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
Please give me guidance on how to find professional bloggers and work with them.I do marketing communications work for clients, and one client in particular has developed an ongoing need for blog posts. I've been writing these posts myself, but for a number of reasons, I don't feel like this work is the best use of my time. I'd like to outsource these writing tasks. I'm looking for advice on finding and working with a blogger or two on a consistent basis. The blog topics are fairly general and would require only basic research. Think along the lines of "The history of the Christmas Tree" or health topics like "How to take care of your feet properly." Length would be about 300-500 words or so. The posts need to flow, make sense and have minimal errors, but they don't need to be masterpieces. I don't care about SEO keywords or anything. Once they are submitted to me, I'd expect to do a little light editing. Some areas I have questions about are: Finding candidates I've used oDesk in the past to outsource design work, and I know they have bloggers looking for work on it too. Would platforms like oDesk, Elance, etc. be a good resource for these tasks? I've noticed that often writers' profiles on such sites have a smattering (or worse) of basic grammatical mistakes, and that turns me off. Are there other sites out there that would be better and also blogger specific? Should I look to operate outside of these freelance platforms and just hire direct? Costs I'm not looking for the cheapest blogger who charges only a few bucks a post. But what can I expect to pay for something of decent quality as described above? Discretion I have it my contract with my client that it's OK for me to use outside vendors, but I don't want to advertise the fact that I am using them. Ideally, I wouldn't want the blogger to use what he or she has written for me for their own portfolio or marketing purposes. Is that a reasonable request to ask? And if a blogger does agree, would it be naive of me to expect them to actually honor that request? Plagiarism How concerned should I be that the posts turned into me were copied in part or in whole from elsewhere? I've heard of the service Copyscape that cross checks for copied material, and I've seen some bloggers for hire advertise that they use this service or another one. What services are out there, and how does this all work?

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
I went to a gastroenterologist recently who tentatively diagnosed me with Acetaldehyde Dehydrogenase Deficiency (which causes the so-called "asian" flush). I am caucasian with some Russian descent, and I do not get flushed when I drink. Are there any precedents for non-asian, non-flushing sufferers of this enzyme deficiency? Should I get a second opinion? (some background: I am 29 and female, and have been dealing with certain hangover symptoms -- nausea, sometimes vomiting -- for as long as I have been drinking, though they vary in intensity. As unbelievable as it may seem, I didn't know until recently that these symptoms were irregular in most drinkers. In college and even high school I would binge drink on occasion. I now never drink more than 6 drinks in one weekend night, and usually around 4. My peers drink the same and are fine the next day. There is no apparent correlation between the number of drinks, hydration, food ingested before drinking, and the symptoms. They come and go, and I only really see an improvement in "tolerance" when I go without drinking for a week or more. And yes, I am actively starting to phase drinking out until I find a solution, if I am lucky to)

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
We're looking to switch providers, and the quotes are based on very different replacement-value amounts. What do we actually need?We bought a house last year for $PP (purchase price). At that time I went with the employer-discount-associated Company 1 for home insurance, who insured it for $PP of replacement value. For Reasons, I'm looking to leave Company 1. Company 2 is quoting our replacement cost as 150% of $PP, and the quote comes out to $850/yr, while Company 1 was insuring us for $PP at $430/yr. I know that replacement cost is "the cost it would take to rebuild your home". I'm not a contractor, but I also understand that whatever the cost would be, it's highly variable. I do think Company 2's 150% value is too much, as bigger newly built homes close by are selling for much less. The quote for Company 2 came from their generator, which took square footage, 'builder grade' bathrooms, attached garage, etc. into account and spat out the 150% of $PP number, saying we should be insured for that much. So, are we currently underinsured? How would I know, short of finding, and wasting the time of, 3 contractors?

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
What are the best websites/blogs/etc. to read contemporary fiction? I'm particularly interested in writing by women, experimental fiction, and magical realism, not necessarily all at once.The websites I currently read daily and love, such as the Hairpin and the Toast, publish tons of great personal essays but not much fiction. I mostly get my fiction reading from books. Some recent favorites include Jenny Offil, Roxanne Gay, Kelly Link, Jeanette Winterson, and Karen Russel. I'd like to expand my online reading to include more fiction, especially because I have some short fiction of my own I'd like to submit, and would like to explore some websites that might be a good fit. What websites do you read for great contemporary fiction? I'm also interested in excellent print publications, but would like to focus more on online publications for the purposes of this question. Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
OkCupid: we experiment on human beings! But by comparing Love Is Blind Day to a normal Tuesday, we learned some very interesting things. In those 7 hours without photos...people responded to first messages 44% more often, conversations went deeper...in short, OkCupid worked better. When the photos were restored at 4PM, 2,200 people were in the middle of conversations that had started "blind". Those conversations melted away. The goodness was gone, in fact worse than gone. It was like we'd turned on the bright lights at the bar at midnight.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
Your 'Craft' Rye Whiskey Is Probably From a Factory Distillery in Indiana. The Daily Beast covers the phenomenon of a large list of whiskey brands serving only as bottlers, purchasing their spirits from a "hulking factory in Indiana". Thirdhand hattip to blogger SKU for leading the charge on this. This is my first post, so please be gentle.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I left a damp down comforter sitting in the dryer for a couple of days, and now it has a gross moldy smell. How can I fix this?I foolishly washed my king size down comforter before leaving for a weekend trip, and didn't realize how long it would take. It was still soaking wet when I had to leave, so I left it in the dryer on the longest possible cycle and hoped for the best, but when I got home two days later it was still damp and smelled awful. I tried washing it again, dried it fully this time, and hung it up to air out, but it still smells pretty bad. I have a front loading HE washer, and I have been using this wool and cashmere shampoo because I had it on hand and it seemed gentle. I could try again with a harsher detergent, but I'm worried that might cause a different type of damage. Would Woolite do the trick? Should I take it to a dry cleaner? Laundry sages of Metafilter, please hope me! I really don't want to have to buy a new comforter!

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
A right-wing Indian politician's racist, xenophobic, and anti-Muslim books are making their way to schools in Gujarat. More on the right-wing Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) and the rise of Hindu nationalism. It's important to note that the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) and the BJP are both part of the Sangh Parivar, a group of Hindu nationalist organizations that is pretty closely-knit. The BJP recently won India's general election and installed Hindu nationalist poster boy Narendra Modi as Prime Minister.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
There are a couple bushes in our front yard that are attracting an insane amount of flies. How do I destroy them, and make my front yard livable again?We noticed the problem about two weeks ago; there's a couple of half-dead bushes on the front of our house (facing west). In a perfect world, we would cut them down. We can't cut them down, as we rent and the owners would prefer said bushes to remain. They're about 6 feet tall, and 2-3 feet wide each. There is a veritable swarm of flies living in each one; I'm guessing upwards of 50-100 flies in each of them. Every movement near the bush makes them go insane and then the front yard is just lousy with flies. I can't really identify the type of fly, but they're medium sized. Bigger than a fruit fly, but smaller than like a horse fly or something. They have a greenish blue tint on the outside. They don't bite or seem to bother anyone in the family, other than being in a gigantic cloud. We have a dog, and have made sure to pick up after him every. single. time. he uses the yard. There is no garbage nearby. There is a hose spigot, but it's not used regularly. I have no idea what their eating, if anything, but they seem very attracted to said bushes. What tactics should we be using to get rid of these miserable little beings? This seems beyond a couple little curlicue fly strips hung around the bushes.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
How to open "file://" hyperlinks in Internet Explorer 10?I'm having a hard time setting the correct settings to allow IE 10 to open file:// hyperlinks. When I click on a file:// hyperlinks, nothing happens. In Chrome, it opens fine. From what I research so far, this is a security setting. I need to enable file:// hyperlinks in both Windows 7 and Windows 8.1. Thanks for any help!

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I'm housesitting and the loo roll (toilet paper) seems to have gone a tad mouldy. I obviously took the moudly bits off and chucked them in the bin but I am now left wondering whether the mould might have left spores in the rest of the loo rool, invisible to the naked eye.A bit of a random question, I know, but I thought if mefi won't know, noone will! Would you use this paper? Or should I be worried about it transferring anything icky onto my body (whether I use it for its intended purpose of toilet paper, or even tissue paper to blow my nose etc.)? Thanks in advance!

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
A few related questions about light renovating and filling of an apartment (with some NYC-specific stuff.)We were approved by the co-op board (yay!) and should close some time around August. Then we have to fix the place up. On the to-do list is: -Ripping out carpets and refinishing the hardwood under them -Putting in a new fridge, dishwasher, above-range microwave and (possibly but unlikely) stove. -Painting -Purchasing rugs (required by the board) and furniture -Professional cleaning My wife and I spoke about this and from what we can tell the best order is as above, but we're not totally sure. The main thing is that I think it'd be better to have it cleaned before furniture/rugs (to get more surfaces cleaned) she thinks it's best after (because movers will be bringing in dusty boxes/furniture from storage.) She generally has more sense than I do about such things, but if there's something either of us are missing about the scenario, let me know. Also: what does a store's markup on appliances look like? My boss clued me in on a place where you can haggle (especially with the leverage of buying and having delivered and installed three major appliances at once) but I'm not 100% sure what the numbers on that look like for mid-range appliances. Finally, if you have someone good in NYC (preferably Brooklyn) to recommend who does floors, let me know.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I'm looking to rent a new apartment in NYC. For our 3 previous NYC apartments, we've filled out an application and paid an application fee and then once our application was approved, paid security deposit / first month's rent at lease signing. The management company for the apartment that we are looking to rent is requesting the following: we fill out an application, pay an application fee and give them a security deposit equal to one month's rent. If our credit is approved, then the security deposit is non-refundable and we basically have to sign a lease. Is this legal?It seems to me that they should run the application/credit check after receiving the application fee. To request a one-month security deposit to process the application seems really aggressive. My wife and I have good credit so this isn't an issue for us, but this process seems to be fairly predatory for renters with borderline credit. If someone applies with borderline credit and their application is ultimately denied, then they may have to wait up to 10 days to receive their deposit back. In the meantime, they may not have enough funds to put a deposit down on another apartment.

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
Smith doesn't really have an hour to spare tonight. He and his bandmates are scrambling through what might be their only rehearsal for their first US headlining tour, which launches later this week. The goal is to road-test new material for the follow-up to DIIV's 2012 debut album, Oshin, an underground breakout hit that marked them as one of indie rock's most promising bands on the rise. Tomorrow he has to take care of countless logistical matters for the tour such as picking up borrowed gear and buying a van, which would be stressful enough for a random Tuesday. But tomorrow is also the 22nd birthday of Smith's girlfriend, the model and acclaimed pop singer Sky Ferreira, and he needs to make it special after spending much of her 21st birthday stressing out about an impending European tour. "Last year I blew it," Smith says. "She was so upset." On top of all that, he's also supposed to meet with his probation officer upstate, one of many unpleasant consequences of being arrested for heroin possession and other crimes last September in upstate Saugerties, New York.

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
I have about 1/4+ cup of sourdough starter to use up. Tell me what I can make that I can eat today.I would prefer not to throw the starter out. Is there anything I can make with just the ingredients I have on hand with 1/4 cup of starter or less? Large or small bread items, pancakes, savory or sweet--anything edible goes. The less work, the better. But the most important factor is time--I'd like to eat the thing today. I have the basics (other common ingredients are OK; I don't need to use up the below): 2 lbs white flour salt/sugar/etc. oil water/milk oats Please use cups and Tb/tsp--no digital scale on hand right now. Thank you!

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
I have a piece of furniture that I bought at a garage sale about 8 years ago for around $50. We need to get rid of it, but I don't know how much to sell it for. I think it's possible it's worth more than $50.I don't know much about furniture, and googling hasn't been a great deal of help here. I have a sideboard (?) with a glass hutch that looks Mid-Century Modernish. It's not pristine or anything, and I have no illusions that I have a piece of furniture worth thousands, but when I put it on Craigslist, I'd at least like a general idea of how much to list it for. Here are some photos (sorry I didn't clean it out completely for these. I will take better photos for the listing.) There is some stenciling on the back that says, "1656-19 Wall Unit" and "Lot 456" but those are the only words I can find on it anywhere. The drawers are dovetail construction and tend to stick when I'm trying to open them. One of the glass doors was put in incorrectly, it seems, but I have no idea how to fix that. It looks like the glass part had a back on it at one point, but it's missing now. For all I know, it came from Big Lots or something, and frankly, I don't care if I don't get more than $50 for it. But I also don't want to miss out on a couple of hundred bucks if it's worth more. Any tips on how much to price it for, or how to easily get a value for it? And how best to describe it?

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
Former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland, Rep. Tim Ryan (OH), Rep. Jan Schakowsky (IL), and Rep. Barbara Lee (CA) are among those have been participating in the Live the Wage Challenge, posting on social media about their experiences. The Challenge (pdf) "asks elected officials, community leaders, advocates and anyone concerned about the growing inequality in this country to walk in the shoes of a minimum wage worker by living on a minimum wage budget for one week. That's just $77."

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
We have friends with restaurants who would buy fingerlings, table flowers, herbs, etc. We have an artesian well. We have a giant ancient hops vines we could grow more with clippings. That's about all our ideas for now. Thank you.

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
I'm trying to get to the bottom of something that happened over the weekend -- to nutshell, was cuffed and placed in a holding cell and charged with an OWI. Never been in trouble before. Looking for a lawyer, but seem to either be told that they have fees that I could never afford to pay, or that they can get me into a diversion program which I'm pretty sure is offered to first time offenders anyway. Help? Details behind cut.Without writing a novel, I work full time and am also in school full time. I'm not much of a drinker, but I've been under an extreme amount of stress lately and went out and had about 3 beers on an empty stomach. I was crying on the road which probably didn't help and was pulled over in what I now believe was some kind of DUI trap (given the amount of women in the holding cell that got pulled over in the same place I did). AGAIN -- I've never been in trouble with the law before. I didn't blow until actually at the jail and while I didn't see anything with my own eyes, the cop said I blew a .10. This is Indiana by the way. That said, what should I expect? I know a friend of mine was on probation for a year and her license was suspended for 3 months. The consultations I've had this morning have all been the same and talked about the same diversion program -- and that at the end of the year, as long as I don't get into further trouble, the charges will be waived and it will no longer on my record. One of them spoke about that blow-n-go device they can stick in your car so your license isn't suspended. I guess the question is -- given my current financial situation (I wasn't even sure how to pay all of my bills without basically having a 40/month food budget BEFORE this happened), is the lawyer truly necessary or am I going to be offered this deal regardless with a public defender? I also have no idea if I should tell my employer or not -- if they haven't already found out thanks to a little app they like to frequent called Mobile Patrol. Should I -- or should I wait until they bring it up?

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
Why R.E.M.'s Out of Time Is the Most Politically Significant Album in U.S. History (Hint: It's not the music).

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