posted about 16 hours ago on metafilter
Agonizing over my future career. Snowflakes inside.At the end of July I got fired from my previous job behind some bullshit which doesn't merit discussing. I'm looking at the ensuing job hunt as an opportunity to take the next step in my career. I have customer service and administrative skills and I've worked for the past 3.5 years in a health-care setting. (Before that I was in college.) So far I've had four in-person interviews. Two were meh. One was for a secretary in a PT's office, which is probably my best prospect currently. The other was for a job that seemed great and which I was really excited about--I'd be a combination shift scheduler and personal living assistant in a retirement home. It would give me great experience in two areas that I'm interested in developing, they were willing to pay me a reasonable amount, the people I would be working with seemed amiable. Today they call to tell me that they've filled that position, but they do want to hire me on as a personal living assistant. It pays less than I've made in my brief professional career and it wouldn't be a guaranteed 40 hours a week. On paper, it looks terrible. But I'm strangely attracted to the prospect. I think I'd enjoy the work and the experience. I won't starve on what they're offering and my partner is also bringing in income. I hate being unemployed and I want to get back to work, and this doesn't seem like such a bad fit all things considered. But I'm also feeling depressed about the whole situation and that might be distorting my good judgment. What should I do?

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posted about 16 hours ago on metafilter
We're trying to decide whether to have another kid, and stuck a bit when we try to evaluate potential effects on the first one. I'm looking for your experiences with sibling relationships (good and bad), including what things we as parents could do (if any) to make it a good one.My husband and I have one son, 22 months old, and are currently trying to decide if we should try for another kid. We've considered lots of factors and at least feel like we know how to go about thinking about them, but one of them is one that I think we'd considerably benefit from the wisdom of the hive mind: the effect of having a sibling on our son. The main reason this is an issue is that my husband and I had dramatically different sibling experiences growing up, and this is colouring our views to the extent that we don't know what is normal, what kinds of things we could realistically expect, and what power parents have to affect the sibling relationship. I had four siblings, all of us separated by about two years, and they were among my best friends growing up. They've been a hugely positive influence in my life and are relationships I treasure into adulthood. Conversely, my husband had one sibling (a slightly older brother) who has really had a negative impact on his life. The brother had massive amounts of sibling jealousy, and hated, resented, and bullied my husband for a lot of their childhood. Even now their relationship is a real sore point for him. My husband is very worried about similar effects if we had another kid -- especially because our son is pretty mommy-focused and we give him a lot of one-on-one attention, so a new kid might be a rude shock. (I have no idea what the norm is for either of these things, and he does go to daycare three days a week, but still). Husband is worried both on behalf of the new baby (being on the receiving end of all of that resentment was not a fun thing for him) but also on behalf of our son, who he is afraid would be greatly and negatively affected by the change in routine and attention in ways that he wouldn't easily recover from. When I think about the issue, conversely, I think about how I want my son to have someone else in his family to grow up with (we have no other extended family in the same country). I think of what a support and source of fun my own siblings were. I also think I learned a lot about how to deal with other kids, how to be less selfish, and how to get along with others -- which, if our kid is as much of a loner/outsider in school as both of us were, might be really instrumental in making his childhood a better one. Importantly, my husband's parents were good: they didn't cause the situation as far as we can tell. In fact, neither of us can really identify anything consistent our parents did differently from each other, so we can't just assume that we'll do the right things and avoid bad outcomes. (Of course we were both very young when the closest siblings were born, so we might have missed things). In any case, we're at an impasse: for both of us our personal experience is colouring things so much. As such just hearing other people's personal experience, and getting some sense about how much control we as parents could have over this outcome, would be really valuable. We have two specific questions: 1. In your experience, either as someone with reasonably-close-in-age siblings or as a parent with multiple reasonably-close-in-age children, were your sibling relationships on balance a good or a bad thing in your/their lives? How or why? 2. In your experience, can you pinpoint any factors that a parent could influence that might affect this outcome? We're particularly interested in this one because the more we can do to influence things, the better we can be reassured we can avoid the horrible childhood my husband had. Other possibly useful details: If we started to try to get pregnant soon the age difference between them would probably be around 2.5-3.5 years. I don't have that much more time to wait so we can't realistically plan for a much larger age range than 4 or 5 years at the outside (and 3 would be better for many reasons). There will almost certainly not be a third sibling. I have asked son if he wants mommy to have another baby and he said yes, but then he said he was a giraffe in the same conversation so it's unclear whether that is meaningful or how much he understands at all.

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posted about 17 hours ago on metafilter
I have a specific question about a particular type of "mythology made reality" transformation via language and cultural contact. I'm looking for other instances of this sort of thing, but I'm not sure what to call this or where to search.I recently learned that when Chinese explorers encountered the giraffe in Africa, they called it a kirin, believing giraffes to be the mythological creature itself. Weirdly, giraffes kind of match the description of kirin – antlers, long neck, "scales" on the skin. And today the word for giraffe in east Asian languages is still "kirin," almost as if the mythological creature became real by coincidence of being similar to a real but undiscovered animal. I find this myth-made-reality transformation via language really fascinating. Are there other examples of a similar correspondence between a mythological thing and an actual thing? I would assume this mostly takes place when explorers from Culture A encounter Culture B and try to use their mythological or religious systems to understand Culture B's practices, but maybe there's more going on here.

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posted about 17 hours ago on metafilter
My office has an opening for a supervisor. They've decided that since things move slowly in our organization (government), before selecting someone permanent for the job, it will be opened up to the office and anyone interested can serve in the position for four weeks to "get full sense of the responsibilities." I'm interested in the job for a few reasons but concerned about the pitfalls of being a supervisor for merely four weeks.I don't know how many others in the office will throw their hat in the ring. It hasn't been presented as a test for those interested in the permanent supervisory position, but, if someone did well, I can assume that when he or she applies for the position, that will be a huge factor in the hiring decision. I'm not sure I want to be supervisor in this particular office because of the strange personalities (I repeat, it's a government job) and lack of strong leadership. However, at my current grade, I need some supervisory experience before advancing so I'm thinking, if nothing else, this may be something to put on my resume. How should I approach this opportunity so that I get the most from the experience? How best to be a supervisor when I only have four weeks? What should I be leery of in accepting this challenge? Thanks much!

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posted about 17 hours ago on metafilter
I need a new job but I'm not sure where to even start looking. I don't feel like I'm qualified to do much of anything but what I'm doing now but I am BURNT OUT! So what's a 20 something with a sorta-liberal arts degree who hasn't done much but hang out with kids all day supposed to do?I've been an aba (applied behavior analysis) thearapist for about 2.5 years now. Burn out is very common from what I understand. I've enjoyed working with kids with autism and I enjoy the problem solving aspect of my job but the position I've been in for close to a year (doing home based therapy) has many more bad days than good. I haven't liked this position since the beginning (it's very issolating, not much collaboration between therapists, parents being disrespectful, not given enough hours and inconsistent scheduling. I could go on.) I would like to continue working with kids with special needs but I'd also rather not work in a school setting. I'm open do doing something else but since all I've ever done is work with kids I truly don't know where to even apply. My resume looks something like: Home based Aba therapist Center based aba therapist (loved it here! Great coworkers, lots of consistency and communication .Finding another place like it has proven difficult) Girl Scouts schools day program for low income Jr high girls (I'm apparently awkward around awkward teenagers but our subject matter [relationships, health, goal setting] was fun. Everyone was super chill too.) Camp for adults with special needs (liked it but was over resident camp after doing it for so long and everyone was so much more extraverted than I am) Art camp (it was fine, nothing noteworthy to even say...) Girl scout camp (both as a counselor and program directo at the camp I grew up going to. So much fun! Learned a lot about myself and how I deal with/ lead people.) Liberal studies-ish degree from an art school So I've done a lot but I don't have a broad experience. I would like to get out of this company asap! I'm applying for a position at the local Girl Scout council but I would like to broaden my job search. I am planning on going to grad school for something eventually but its been hard to pinpoint what I'd like to do. So what's a job (not even necessarily a career) where there's opportunities for collaborating and problem solving but mostly working as an individual, some chances to have fun/ be silly, and preferably with humans other than adults...

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posted about 17 hours ago on metafilter
On a lanai in southwest florida, there is some heavy daily smoking going on. Even with three walls made of screens that open to outside, the smell remains. Looking to find ways to mitigate the stale and persistent smoke smell. The amount of smoking is not going to decrease, looking for a product that will help with the smell from the actual smoking and the ashtrays full of butts (which are emptied fairly often.)Obviously, not smoking in the area is a great solution to this problem. Please refrain from expressing this; we know - its not us. Have tried the charcoal and vinegar remedies, not much difference was made. Willing to spend $150+ on a product of some sort. Cigarette receptacle? Odor removing apparatus? Anything! Any suggestions?

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posted about 18 hours ago on metafilter
I have a major issue with tights fitting, how could this be so difficult? My tattooed and soon-to-be-dealing-with-cold-weather legs need your help!I honestly don't get what I'm doing wrong with tights. I feel like I should know how to do this! I'm a 24yr old woman. 5'4" I only weigh 106 but my hips/butt is 37" and I wear about a size 4 or 28 ish. I cannot for the life of me find tights that fit. I even got an L/XL and they DIG into my sides. I mean they're rated for someone up to 200lbs - yeah right! I always grab the biggest size available. I like to wear my tights where I would wear my pants, on my hips. However, even if I pull my tights way up toward my belly they basically cut me in half! So no matter what I've tried, they dig into my skin and make huge red marks, not to mention making unsightly bumps. It's laughable when I put them on. What the hell kind of tights to I need? Do I need to go into plus size? What do you wear? Why is this such a problem? I've considered garters and stockings but that seems like a lot of fuss. (Just from my limited experience with lingerie type garters and stockings.) I also am aware of the trick of cutting the sides of the waistband, but even the butt area is wayyy too tight still. I've tried Hue and some other normal brand tights. I desperately need opaque black and opaque gray (preferable a heather or charcoal) to cover tattoos for professional reasons and for cold weather. I'd also love some fun patterns and whatnot, but again, opaque. The tights that have worked are sweater tights, but they aren't professional at all, not to mention they have a thicker waistband and are therefore not great under anything form fitting. I despise leggings without feet. (They're fine with boots but not much else.) Please help hive! My butt and hips thank you.

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posted about 18 hours ago on metafilter
The more we learn about the emotions shared by all mammals, the more we must rethink our own human intelligence More Notes on Humans and Animals I am growing increasingly convinced that people who believe we have an absolute moral duty to see to the well-being of all other human beings, to install water-purifying equipment in villages on the other side of the world, etc., and who, at the same time, happily contribute to the ongoing mass slaughter of animals, are really just picking and choosing their causes. There simply is no compelling reason why I, or anyone, should suppose that all and only human beings are the worthy targets of moral concern. This is not to say that you should care about animals. It is only to say that there is nothing natural or obvious or conclusive about your belief that you should care about all and only human beings. Your belief is a prejudice, characteristic of a time and place, and not the final say about where the reach of moral community ends. Consider the lobster? Pity the fish I was thinking of Wallace's essay while reading a new paper in Animal Cognition by Culum Brown, a biologist at Macquarie University in Australia. Brown does for the fish what Wallace did for the lobster, calmly reviewing the neurological data and insisting that our undersea cousins deserve far more dignity and compassion that we currently give them. Brown does not mince words: "All evidence suggests that fish are, in fact, far more intelligent than we give them credit. Recent reviews of fish cognition suggest fish show a rich array of sophisticated behaviours. For example, they have excellent long-term memories, develop complex traditions, show signs of Machiavellian intelligence, cooperate with and recognise one another and are even capable of tool use. Emerging evidence also suggests that, despite appearances, the fish brain is also more similar to our own than we previously thought. There is every reason to believe that they might also be conscious and thus capable of suffering." When Animals Get Bored Or Anxious They Develop Tics Just Like Humans Even ant colonies can have 'personalities.' see more at The media's growing interest in how animals think more links at Omnivore

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posted about 18 hours ago on metafilter
My workplace doesn't have wifi, so I am not able to access the internet from my laptop, which is what I use at work (I don't have a desktop). What is my best option of getting internet at work?I have heard of the MiFi as well as tethering my phone, which I think is equivalent to making my phone a hotspot, but I know that really eats up data and incurs charges. Then I saw someone use an air card, but she said her husband got it for her and she doesn't know much about how it works. So I'm wondering what my best option is here. My phone does have 4G, which is what I currently use to go online, and I have AT&T. Thank you.

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
Do you like games with awkward controls and physics? Do you dream of playing QWOP against your friends? Well, Mount Your Friends is just right for you! The Greenlight begins by dissolving into fits of laughter, and ends with pretty much the same thing. Hardcore Gamer says: "If nothing else, those damn schlongs flailing everywhere never get old." (That's right, the entire game is burly men in thongs with swinging dongs. Gamasutra has some backstory on the dong physics.) Rock Paper Shotgun says: "It's the kind of experience that draws a crowd." The creator, Daniel Steger, discusses how he built the game in 2 days at his blog. More Videos! Jim and Yatzhee of The Escapist show off the horizontal challenge. This is not a euphemism. Giant Bomb do a (25 minute) quick look and show off the custom face options.

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
We're stumped. He's turning 15 and our budget is $100.We don't want to get him a smartphone upgrade until Christmas, he has a watch and wallet he likes, and a separate clothes/shoe budget he hasn't used up yet. He has social anxiety, so an experience gift like tickets somewhere would not work. Books don't work because we buy any book requested automatically. So far his suggestions, none of which he's particularly keen on are: a second-hand bicycle, the new SIMS game, or a guinea pig pet. He likes listening to music, drawing (has lots of art materials already), no other big hobbies, and is generally a homebody. Posted with his permission.

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
"A great nightclub with amazing DJs, virgin drinks made with love, and hopefully an exciting atmosphere. It will be just like any club in Berlin, London, or Ibiza - minus the drunks." Stockholm's new nightclub Sober.

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
Things You Only Know When Both Your Parents Are Dead

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
We're looking at water softeners for the house. In searching around the net, I came across Magnetic Fluid Conditioning. Is this legit? or snakeoil?

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posted about 19 hours ago on metafilter
I'm responsible for the IT for a small business, and I'm constantly worried that one of our users, despite my frequent warnings, will click on a gmail phishing link accidentally, perhaps in an early morning daze. I know that Google and some others (Netcraft and Wot) maintain blacklists, but I'm sure none of those have nearly perfect coverage. So I'm basically just looking for an extension or pre-existing option (that I might not know about) which warns the user clicking on an email link, unless the destination domain is on a whitelist.I know if a user receives a lot of diverse email with diverse links then this type of blunt warning system would get tedious, but we don't. Thank you!

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posted about 20 hours ago on metafilter
I wander into the room calling out, "hey beautiful" to the gorgeous five year old kitty I just adopted. She was named the same in Italian and though she is, the name is just a little too precious for my tastes.My last cat got her name in a roundabout way. She was born under the house to a feral mother. Initially we thought she was a he and looked a lot like a abandoned male who liked to hang out on our deck. When I discovered Junior was a girl after taming her we fooled around with the name. For awhile she was Hoonior (say it like you're hacking up a furball with castanets and a Spanish guitar playing in the background), but that was shortened eventually to Joon. On a lark, I looked up her name never expecting to discover it's a Persian term of endearment that means "beloved" and, she very much was. I want to do the same for this kitty, but I'm no language expert. I'm looking for foreign words (bonus if I can pronounce them) that have that sense of adored, loved, fond of and, though dear usually leaves me spitting mad, that option would be ok here too. Hopefully the story of Joons naming will give you a sense of what I'm striving for. Help? She chirps and brips at the laser pointer. Has a really loud deep purr and throws herself on the floor at the sight of the brush, I think she has furgasms when I brush her she likes it so much. She likes to talk a bit and makes these noises that just ... *sigh* Out of focus obligatory photos of one frantic furball on her second day here. Pt 1 and Pt 2.

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posted about 20 hours ago on metafilter
With all of the technology and information at our fingertips, I am having finding the best way to watch movies. There are no longer any video stores near me. I have amazon prime, HBOgo and Netflix & my cable company on demand. It seems like every time that I want to see a movie it is not on Netflix or HBOgo, but is on Prime.I wanted to watch This is the End, but don't want to pay $10.00 for a movie that I am going to watch once. Am I missing something? Is there another option? Ideally I wouldn't have apple tv, netflix, hbogo prime and have to get apple tv too. I'd like a one stop shop that is reasonably priced - extra points for streaming video. I also know that Amazon Prime is increasing in cost at the end of this year. I don't know if that changes the equation. Thanks in advance.

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
When I was in high school, in 1990, I found a humor collection in my school library. I am trying to remember the name of the collection. It contained a play written entirely in palindromes. I believe, but am not certain, that it contained a story by James Thurber, possibly about a man named Margaret. I'd really like to track down the name of the play and/or the author. Does this ring any bells for anyone?

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
My sister-in-law, who has been trying to find this poem for years, first heard it from her grandmother. It's at least 50 years old and rhymes.

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
In need of recommendations for a comprehensive financial planner in the DC area.I soon will be getting a significant inheritance due to a couple of deaths in the family (about $500k from my father and around $800k from my grandmother, both post-tax) and am looking for a comprehensive financial planner in the DC area to help me figure out what the heck to do with all of this and how to manage my incredibly privileged financial situation. This inheritance is on top of about $400k in trust fund monies I already have that are diversified in several investment accounts chosen by my father when I was very young, in consultation with various planners at the time (and which I have dipped into on occasion for things like a house down payment and my honeymoon). Other pertinent details: I am 30, got married about a month ago, make about $90k per year, own a house in Texas for which my mortgage is about $1850 per month (it's rented out for about $150 less than that), and my partner has about $30k in debt from grad school. In the future I want to use some of this to have kids (my partner and I are both women so we could have to shell out some serious dough to get pregnant, depending on the route we go), send my kids to college and buy a house (potentially in DC). My financial literacy is on the low end of moderate. I haven't yet figured out whether I want someone to consult with once (I realize "once" could mean several times over a few months in this case) or more regularly. And for those who can offer advice but want to do it more privately, you can email me at DCmoneyhelp@gmail.com. Thanks for your help!

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
I'm researching Teach for America as an organization, and I was wondering if there are any lawsuits against them by former corps members currently in the works.

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posted about 21 hours ago on metafilter
Help! I need a toolbelt-like sling or sash that I can wear in my classroom, to hold a tablet, pens and pencils, and a remote or two. Preferably something that doesn't look ridiculous.Hey folks, Basically, I have decided to start teaching with a tablet that I project to a screen, which is awesome. I can access presentations, get to videos quickly, track student participation and discussion.... all while being free to move around the classroom and manage it! However, I am super super super absent-minded when managing a class of 30 kids. All last year I controlled my computer with a remote control, and it was a running joke in my classroom that I never knew where the remote was, because I would set it down to talk to a group of students and then walk away to help another student without picking it back up. I'm a female, and I like to wear dresses, which thanks to gender norms beyond my control frequently are made without pockets. My solution? Some kind of toolbelt or sling, preferably adjustable so I can make it fit, that has a pocket in which I can place a tablet when I need my hands to help students. It'd be nice if it had pockets for paper/pens, but honestly, just the tablet would be a dream. Does this exist? I'd sew it myself, but that's a scary task to take on with first class of the school year starting in about 80 hours.

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posted about 22 hours ago on metafilter
I bought a vase at a thrift store today (pics of the vase and the marks on the bottom are here). I'd love to know who made it, but I don't even know what to Google.I assume the marks won't look familiar to anyone, and searching for "h pottery mark" is fruitless. I'd like to add more key words to my Google search, but I'm not sure what to even Google to find out more about my vase. Is it stoneware? Earthenware? What type of glaze style is that? Are there any other key words I could Google to find the maker of my vase?

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posted about 22 hours ago on metafilter
I like dark and/or intriguing television shows. I like shows with interesting characters and long pay offs. What I do not like are any sudden scenes with violence against women or children. I have access to all counties of Netflix but no other streaming services. What can I watch?I am burning through Netflix catching up on things I have missed. I enjoyed Orphan Black, Utopia, Hannibal, Downtown Abbey, etc. I am not put off with the violence in Hannibal because it doesn't revolve around sexual violence of women/children. I was enjoying Battlestar Galactica until they threw in an episode where a cylon was going to be raped. I don't want to watch children's shows. I have a hard time watching just seasons of comedies (not dense enough plots to hold my interest). I don't really enjoy English mysteries. I don't really enjoy twee or Dr. Who. I want darkness and intrigue. I just don't want sexual violence. Can you think of any shows that fall under this? Or if you can recommend shows and specifically point out episodes with such violence I can skip that would be ok too?

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posted about 22 hours ago on metafilter
I'm looking for vegetarian high protein / paleo foods that are easy to carry while on the go. Snowflakes inside...I already eat high protein bars, but am looking for other foods that might work. I've tried veggie beef jerky but it tastes awful. Are there "protein shots" like Clif bar shot bloks? Is there protein goo? Some super easy way to get protein throughout the day that doesn't need refrigeration? I carry almonds around with me, but am looking for other options. I've tried mixing up protein powder and water every day but I keep forgetting the bottles and they get icky fast. I'm also curious about easy to find snack foods (at convenience stores or fast food restaurants) for a (lacto-, ovo- eating) vegetarian who wants to eat a lot of protein. Basically, where is it easy to find cheese, eggs, nuts, and protein-enhanced foods?

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