posted about 2 hours ago on metafilter
I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem.My mom is alone, she is lonely, she hates getting old alone, and this causes her, I think, so stay in her comfort zone and as a result she hasn't used her retirement and her significant financial safety net and even the fact that she speaks 4 languages fluently to do things she used to always talk about doing (travelling, living abroad, taking courses, etc). She often talks about how her other friends who are retired have managed to do all these great things (find partners, go to the theatre, try out new restaurants, etc) and she is often quite sad that she can't do these things "without a man". She has several friends but social engagements seem to be limited to walks, and teas, and "at home" visits. She is 68. She is aware that many of her married friends are "stuck in unhappy marriages" but yet is convinced they are happier than she is. Years ago she did a very good job to convince me she was happy being single and had no interest in pursuing a relationship, but a few years ago the truth came out: she is terrified of being alone and yet seems terrified to be proactive about finding a solution (is there even one? is being alone so bad? I know women of her age that have amazing single retired lives.) Over the years, I've encouraged her to: seek counselling to get her life back on track, reassuring her it isn't a sign of weakness but rather of self love and strength; encouraged her to travel and attempted to sign her up for a group travel for seniors program (she kept saying she'd do it but never did); encouraged her to online date (but I was, I admit, personally apprehensive because my mother is quite "green" and I was worried the experience wouldn't be a good one. Protector instinct perhaps!) Nevertheless, I did take some beautiful photos, but in the end, she didn't make her profile (I think she expected me to do that too, and I admitted that this was quite a personal thing and that perhaps she should take charge in the final steps of on-line dating.) I've emailed her volunteer opportunities, and encouraged her to travel with me (and we have managed to take a few trips together, which have given us some good memories). I encouraged things like yoga, spa treatments, group therapy, Meetup type gatherings of like minded ppl, ways to connect with other single women her age who might feel similarly, etc., but she just hasn't taken me up on these ideas. I wonder if she has a kind of fear about doing these things alone? Might be a generation/cultural/personal kind of thing. I'm not sure. The irony is that her mom, my grandmother, was insanely independent and had amazing adventures after her husband died and I have always been quite inspired by that. Our last trip together when she came to visit me abroad resulted in one such episode where she burst into tears and said she sometimes didn't want to live because she was so alone. Now, she has cancer, and I just don't know how to best support her and myself as she is going through this. I hate giving off a "I told you so" vibe, but for years I've tried to suggest to my mom to improve her life in ways I thought she'd enjoy based on all the hints she'd drop in conversation about what would make her happy, but she ended up not doing most of it or going once and then totally bashing it ("Oh, that was so BORING, it was all OLD PEOPLE!" not realizing it was people in VERY similar situations as herself). Denial in her life is a major factor. A lot of her life pre-cancer was solitude, gardening, and tv watching. None of this is a bad thing, mind you, unless it's not the life you've secretly wished for. With her cancer treatments, she's able to still DO all these things, but now she says things like "This illness has ruined my life, I can't do anything I used to do and I feel so stuck" when a. she IS doing everything she used to do and b. everything she WANTS to do now like travel, go over town, take a weekend getaway, etc. she could have done before she was ill but she never did. Things JUST took another turn for the worse, as she has a colostomy bag, and now things like going to the cinema or a restaurant are terrifying for her because she feels even MORE limited, despite the fact that she is, actually, physically able to live her life as before. There is a deeper decades-long problem here coupled with the current problem of cancer + bag. This to me = catastrophe. How do I support her without going mad myself? I find I carry her emotions on my shoulders and it prevents me from living life with a certain lightness because I am always thinking about how my mom never fulfilled her own desires, and this makes me sad. I also know that expressing these feelings on my part is normal but I feel a little insensitive. I can't possibly know what she's going through. It's always easier to observe from the outside than experience it. I know she's in pain, and I don't know if I can help her.

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posted about 3 hours ago on metafilter
After controversy over a bull sculpture's genitalia the owner of a Hurricane, Utah restaurant removed the offending penis from his business' sign. In an interview (skip to 19:50) he made sure it was known he wasn't bowing to pressure and removed the penis for aesthetic reasons, and that the testicles are staying.

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
I'm looking for some short, easy, free, browser-based online games to play-- ideally ones that approximate narrative fiction in some way (well-defined plotline, focused exploration of a particular theme, etc.). The two I've got so far are One Chance and Every Day the Same Dream. What else should I be trying?I know there are about a billion lists on this subject, but the ones I've read seem to be full of broken links and dubious choices. Ideally, I'd like to find games that well-attested to be playable, fun and thought-provoking, in the space of approximately 10-15 minutes. 100% online only-- unfortunately, I can't download anything. What would you recommend, Metafilter?

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
Two great pieces by Jess Zimmerman: Men, Get On Board With Misandry and Opinions Are Like Orgasms: Men Will Get Theirs All Over You. (Some additional background from the Geek Feminism Wiki: 'Splaining and Resources for Allies. Finally, Feminism 101 also has a useful FAQ.)

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
My boyfriend (just turned 30, and I'm 24) of nearly 7 months is very recently divorced (it was finalized 4 months ago and they have been separated for 9). He's the most open and communicative person I've ever met and keeps me as much in the loop as I need to be about where he's at and how he's feeling regarding his loss (but also keeps some details to himself that I probably don't really need to know about.) Our relationship started out very mutual and enthusiastic, and mostly still is but he's taking a few steps back to analyze himself and it's triggering my relationship anxiety. I don't know whether to trust my gut or quiet the fear.He's past reconciliation and wants to move on from his divorce and I've never been worried about that. We started out spending a lot of time together, possibly even too much at first, but he says that is how he is with all new relationships– he throws himself right in and wants to spend much of his time with his SO, and in my limited dating experience that seems to be my pattern too. He's a serial monogamist and as had many longer-term relationships before his last one (7 years together, the last 2 married.) His ex-wife is the one that wanted out and didn't want to try counseling or working through her issues so I imagine that alone was huge for him. When we started seeing each other/hanging out, we genuinely enjoyed each other and wanted to spend all of our time together and it felt very natural. Both of us were healing from a recently failed relationship– obviously his was intense and more extreme, but mine also impacted me deeply and brought out abandonment anxiety that I didn't know I had and which resurfaced once I started realized I wanted a relationship and not just a cuddle-buddy/friendship with him. After some reading and introspection I discovered that I could also describe myself as having codependent tendencies and an anxious attachment style, while he was very clearly secure in his attachment, but healing from the loss and working through his issues. I once tried and plan to again try to start going to counseling to work through some of my own issues because they do not line up with where I thought I was and how much I thought I valued being independent (apparently I'm not.) He has been seeing a counselor as well for a while since before and after the divorce and is very supportive of me going too. Anyhow, he's told me since the beginning that he can't be 100% and for the most part I was just along for the ride and had no expectations and didn't truly believe him simply because he gave me no reason to worry– as far as I could tell he was giving me 99% as he's been very caring, compassionate, and in-touch with his feelings and I feel so fortunate to have found someone, I thought, to help me heal in a supportive relationship. However we've had several deeper talks over the months where he's revealed more and more that he is not 100% and took a few shorts steps back to give himself more days to meditate, read, and do things alone or spend time with friends that he's since neglected, without me there. Previously we were spending a lot of our free time together and when it became more established, we would spend about 5 but usually 6 days a week together. I've become familiar with his whole family and he wanted me to come to his youngest sister's wedding pretty early in the relationship, even though his relatives might question his new girlfriend before the divorce was finalized. We had one big conversation after 3-4 months where he said he needed more time to himself to process his feelings about the divorce since he said he enjoyed his time with me so much but when he was with me he was not addressing his grief or processing his emotions about the loss of his marriage and future, so then it was down to two days during the week to himself while we still did things together for most of the weekend, frequently going out of town camping and to running events together, or just spending a rainy day cuddling in front of a movie. Now we've had a more recent discussion the week following more than a week-long vacation where we were together 24/7 with his two siblings and their spouses abroad and had a fantastic stress-free time and I felt like we got so much closer and bonded on another level. He mentioned getting comfortable with spending so much time with me afterwards but realized he was not where he's at to go forward in our relationship until he's had more time to work on himself. He wants marriage again and a family in the future and is very future goal-focused and worried about taking the right steps to get "where he needs to be" and I know he wants to be really cautious this time around. So now it's gone down again and we might only see each other once or twice during the week since I said I really wanted (most) weekends together. We still keep in touch throughout the day and he always calls when he can in the morning or at lunch and again in the evening to catch up and be thoughtful. He also just adopted a puppy (he's been wanting a dog since he let his ex take the dog that was really more his) and is getting busier with his work which I'm happy for him since it means his business is successful and I do a lot to support him with it, but it seems like he doesn't seek me out anymore for the occasional breakfast or lunch on days we can't see each other in the evenings just for the sake of seeing me, and I'm afraid he's going to keep on wanting to spend less and less time with me. He assures me he doesn't feel any less for me, but I feel otherwise. I even started worrying about why he didn't want me to see the puppy on the first night he brought her home (I insisted on coming when he was looking for a dog a few days prior and even found her at the shelter first) but he said he wants to make sure she is established as his dog (not mine, not ours, which I never considered it that way) since he's always had experience of losing a dog he felt close to in his past relationships once they ended. I see where he's coming from but I've never experienced this withdrawal from him before. I recognize a lot of my fears are irrational and I've talked to him about these feelings often and initially his reaction is to get defensive and irritated until I explain to him that these reactions are only increasing my anxiety until we come to an understanding and I can calm down and respect his boundaries again. I'm obviously not handling this very well when all he needs is to either be alone or have someone who will respect his wishes for space more without freaking out, but I really want to address my own issues both for my own self healing and for our relationship to grow again, since it seems once we took a step forward we're now taking a big one back and it feels like it came out of nowhere, but he's told me it's been building up. I also don't have any close friends still, but a lot of sorta-close friends and this has been a lifelong issue for me growing up and moving so frequently. Now it is even harder for me to find a best friend after college and I realize my lack of close socialization with other girls and out of the relationship is also impacting me more than him. I'm working on it but it is also tough. I have no reason not to trust him and he says and shows he still cares about me, but my fear is telling me that this is just going to keep happening until he realizes he really can't do this and heal at the same time like his counselor suggested or he realizes my insecurity is toxic for his healing and he leaves me (my abandonment fear.) In my mind, if he doesn't want to spend as much time with me as I him then something is wrong, but at the same time my anxiety is making me crave affection and reassurance more than normal because of my insecurities, so it's hard to know if I should listen to my gut or silence the voices. To clarify what I'm asking: • Am I being stupid for waiting around for him to move on? • Am I being extremely clingy and insecure or is there some truth to the worries (probably a combination of both?) • Is he really capable of dealing with what he's going through and still seeing me or is this just a lie we tell ourselves? I personally feel that he is worth waiting for but maybe I'm just blind sighted and afraid of being alone again, but I care for him deeply and have not felt this way about anyone before.

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
Looking for a book that gives a detailed description of a famous person's psychoanalytic treatment.I was in the Museum Of Fine Arts and read something about Jackson Pollock being in Jungian psychoanalysis. I wondered what his sessions actually consisted of and how his therapy affected his life and thought it would be interesting to read about. I'm looking to find a description of a famous person's treatment (hopefully a wild, tortured, interesting famous person). I'd like the writer of this book to be well versed in clinical psychoanalysis but also be critical about whether or not the treatment actually works. Is there a work like this out there anywhere?

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
After sketching combat in WWII, Howard Brodie drew the Watergate trial, Klaus Barbie, and Jack Ruby. Bill Robles drew Charles Manson and his followers, Roman Polanski, and the Unabomber. Richard Tomlinson drew "Son of Sam" and John Gotti. Elizabeth Williams illustrated the Central Park Jogger Case, Martha Stewart, the Times Square bomber. Aggie Kenny sketched Oliver North, Angela Davis, and the Gainesville Eight trial. They are all featured on The Illustrated Courtroom blog*, and Kenny and Williams were interviewed about their craft. Their book, The Illustrated Courtroom: 50 Years of Court Art, came out last year from CUNY Journalism Press. When cameras are banned from courtrooms, sketch artists are there to record it... at least in America. In Britain, where drawing in courtrooms is illegal, Priscilla Coleman must take detailed notes while watching, and sketch the likes of Julian Assange and Gary Glitter from memory. However, Aggie Kenny's sketches of the aforementioned Gainesville Eight trial led to the court case United States vs. Columbia Broadcasting System, which established the right of artists to sketch in court and publish those sketches. (Depicting members of the jury is generally verboten, and artists can also be prohibited from sketching minors or victims of sex crimes.) Mona Shafer Edwards combined her fashion illustration work with her courtroom sketches when she produced a famous 2010 sketch of Lindsay Lohan being escorted away in handcuffs while sporting red-soled Louboutins. She has produced her own book, Captured! Inside the World of Celebrity Trials. The highest-profile trial being sketched today is probably that of Dzhokar Tsarnaev. WGBH News contrasts the interpretations of Jane Collins (who also sketched the Shoebomber, John Connelly, and John Martorano) with Art Lien (who is posting extensive daily updates on his blog). Both were taken along when the jury examined the infamous boat. Previously on metafilter * Please note, "The Illustrated Courtroom" contains written descriptions of violent crime in the context of criminal trials.

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
Just bought an iPad mini, but finding the right case is proving to be a challenge.So way back in the day, I bought an iPad 3 and used a case similar to this from grovemade. Unfortunately, now that I've shrunk down to an iPad Mini 3, there doesn't seem to be anything similar on the grovemade site. I really like bamboo as a material, and something that can be used as a stand as well as a case is a plus (but is not absolutely essential). Has anyone come across something that would meet these first world needs?

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
I belong to a Ulysses (James Joyce) book club, we do a chapter a month. We've been doing very well. But now we're at Circe, the chapter that's part random hallucination, part stage play, part ????. What I'm finding though is that the writing is not as brilliant as the earlier chapters, and the randomness seems pointless when it goes on for so many pages. Am I missing something? Do you know of an analysis that brings out the rewards of this chapter? Also if Circe is your favorite chapter, tell me why!This chapter is unlike the others we've gone through. The earlier chapters rewarded in-depth study. (I have the Ulysses Annotated by Don Gifford, and the New Bloomsday guide, as well as Ulysses: Critical Essays). This chapter however seems to be a reiteration of previous themes jumbled together in random ways, an exploration of sexual boundaries and a climactic point near the end (when Stephen confronts his mother's ghost). I've come across all kinds of opinions about what certain things mean in the Chapter, but they seem to be mostly speculations rather than something intrinsic to the novel.

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
You know all those Sensodyne commercials featuring dentists that claim our teeth are being dissolved by everything we eat? Is acid erosion a real thing to be concerned about or is that just really effective (for me) scaremongering to sell product?Those ads hit my teeth anxiety button. Will someone with healthy teeth and an average diet who brushes and flosses daily and drinks fluoridated city water wish at 80 they had used a so-called enamel renewal toothpaste all along?

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
I need a piece of material for a classroom exercise which involves some succinct explanation of the 'prime directive' in the Star Trek franchise (with which I'm very unfamiliar). Ideally it would be Kirk explaining it interestingly and theatrically, but any bit of video or text, that I could show or read to my class, would be useful.

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
Husband, son and I will all be embarking on an adventure soon across the US. Our dogs will be joining us in their own grand quest to mark everything we see. Assume for this we have no deadline, no end date, no....scary pressure hanging over our head. We have some general ideas of what we want to see, but we need a way to start marking up route possibilities, and sharing them with each other (well, the dogs don't care much - if there are national monuments of dog parks, they have no idea about them). The problem is finding the right tool/app to do this.We like things like wunderlist, grocery gadget (which has changed our shopping experience) and other apps enabling collaboration. Well, OK, son is kind of ehhhhh, but I think once he gets to add in his ideal spots on the map it may help a little (he has things in mind already). He also will be helped, I think, just seeing the plans laid out. We are all Apple users, iphone friendly, we all have ipads and son has a Windows laptop (the dogs? They have no computers. Or maybe I'M A DOG OMG). I'm technically adept, as are husb and son. Son just has less patience with it all. So simple and stable are good. How is there not already a "Road Trip" app, where people can pick things they want to see separately, and get route recommendations and maps based on that? Is there? Tell me about it! Bonus points if it will throw in things like, "This is on your route and it's weird/interesting/wonderful, should we add it in?" Although I may be dreaming with that one. If there is not one already - what do you all use for things like this? Google's custom shareable maps don't seem to work anymore (we couldn't find a way to make one, though husb and I have both in the past) and they lack the simplicity that would appeal to son anyway. His super power is a very short attention span (to be honest I have that too - have I mentioned the dogs?). A web based app would work, as would an ios app. But if you have other recommendations, we want to hear them. Obligatory dog photos are here and here.

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
Comedian Mitch Hedberg died 10 years ago today. He was known for his distinctive style of delivery and short, often absurd jokes. In addition to his stand-up, Hedberg had a number of small roles in "Home Movies", appeared twice as himself in "Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist", and once on "That 70s Show." More standup: Comedy Showcase 1995 On Letterman, date unknown Just for Laughs 1998 Just for Laughs 2001 Just for Laughs 2004

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
This is my situation- had ascus and hpv negative 4 years ago, then 3 years ago was all normal now I have lgsil and they did a biopsy which was negative. They did not find anything in the colpo or biopsy. Now they tell me to redo the pap in 6 months. Has anyone experienced that- bad pap but normal biopsy and have to retest in 6 months? What is your experience? I am kind of scared cause I am wondering what is wrong with me

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
Seeking learned suggestions/contributions for slightly messed up anti-climate-trolling mother/daughter project.A friend of mine is becoming quite exasperated by her mother, who frequently emails my friend right-wing, reactionary and often climate skeptic material (said friend works in climate policy...). She decided to respond to her mother, who is an engineer, by questioning some basic tenets of engineering in a manner that illustrates the ridiculousness of climate skeptic arguments. Can anyone with expertise in both engineering and climate science/scepticism) come up with some remarks/questions that might actually prove informative to her mother? Bonus points for being light-hearted and amusing, yet pointed. [Their relationship is complicated, obviously, but not mean-spirited...] And yes, I realise this is probably not a good way to persuade anyone.

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
Jessica T. Matthews reviews Henry Kissinger's "World Order" and Bret Stephen's "America In Retreat": Almost from the beginning of its history, America has struggled to find a balance in its foreign policy between narrowly promoting its own security and idealistically serving the interests of others; between, as we've tended to see it in shorthand, Teddy Roosevelt's big stick and the ideals of Woodrow Wilson. Just as consistently, the US has gone through periods of embracing a leading international role for itself and times when Americans have done all they could to turn their backs on the rest of the world. Two new books now join this never-ending debate. Can U.S. Foreign Policy Be Saved? for lighter fare, Overthinking It: What time is it? Foreign Policy Time! Lemonhope and the conundrum of freedom

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
I'm 36 years old and had my Mirena removed almost a year ago. Since then, my hormones appear to be losing their tiny little hormonal minds.I had my second Mirena removed in May of last year due to suspicions that it was contributing to my chronic headaches. While I had the Mirena, I had no periods for almost 6 years and it was fabulous. However, the return of my cycle has been fairly mysterious and unpleasant. Each cycle presents with different "symptoms" such as bloating, crankiness, etc. Nothing ridiculous or uncontrollable, but different every month. Over the last several cycles, though, my breasts have been unbelievably painful. This cycle, I ovulated (per ovulation strip) on day 14. My breasts started hurting on day 18 and today is day 21 and I'm losing my mind. Should PMS symptoms be occurring at this point in the cycle? If it's not normal PMS pain, what is it? It feels exactly like early pregnancy breast pain, minus the nipple element...it's centered over the top of the breast and the outer sides, symmetrical on both breasts. Both breasts are also extremely full and heavy. Relevant info: I am not pregnant. I am not on any form of birth control. I take various medications related to chronic daily headache/migraine, myofascial pain, and ADHD. I have large breasts and am somewhat overweight, but have lost over 70 pounds in the last two years.

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
Just sixteen years years after the Trail of Tears, the Choctaw Nation collected $710* and sent it to Ireland to help during the potato famine. In 1992, a group of Irish people retraced the Trail of Tears to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the gift. * A misprint in Angi Debo's The Rise and Fall of the Choctaw Nation results in this number being erroneously reported as $170 in some sources.

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
I'm not sure which I would rather as far as living situations, so I would like to gather opinions on it.It feels like a stupid question. But I'm living in the city (Minneapolis) by myself for the first time. It'll be a year come August that I would have been here. I live in a very undergrad area with roommates now, but I'm looking to get a studio or one bedroom next semester in a more adult area with more grad students and professionals. Sadly, most apartments that I can afford are not in the safest areas or are very, very old but near bustling areas. I found an apartment that is ridiculously nice though, everything I could've dreamed of with seemingly kind landlords that live above and have dogs I could babysit. The drawback is that it's in a boring suburb neighborhood that is away from school and away from the hustle and bustle (that I have been told would keep my from feeling lonely.) I'm sort of at a draw. Part of me thinks I won't find an apartment this nice and this affordable in the city but I'm hesitant to sign the lease because it's in such a suburb location. I guess I've wanted to try the whole 23-and-walk-out-the-door-and-there's-a-beer-and-bakery-place thing, but DANG this apartment in the middle of nowhere is just so nice, I can totally see myself feeling at home there. (Also the landlords would throw in a lot of the furniture at no cost which would save me money!) So, what would you rather do? Live where there are cool things but in a crappy and expensive apartment, or the middle of nowhere with a super nice, home-y apartment? (If this has any importance: I'm a 23 year old female grad student that likes to explore the city and go do things when I have time. I do have a car! But would rather take public transport.)

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
I own an apartment in New York City, which I need to rent out. I found tenants who seem to be lovely people, but I'm struggling to decide whether or not to be concerned about their finances.They're both self employed and paying comparable rent now, though not living together. They're moving in together. They seem like genuinely nice people. I like them. I realize that probably isn't relevant, but there it is. I haven't run a credit check. I plan to, though I'm not even sure how I'd evaluate the information. I don't have any way to gauge what should be cause for alarm. One of them filled out the application claiming a comfortable and reasonable income but included tax returns with an adjusted gross income that is waaaay below that, in part because of a lot of self employment deductions, including a home office. I'm open to the possibility that she can pay the rent, but her AGI is less than 1/10th of the income she put in the form. Her total business receipts are consistent with the income she put down but that doesn't take into account the expense of running a business. No debts, though. The other has 1099s documenting a comfortable and reasonable income but has not actually filed income taxes in some years. I'm somewhat concerned that he is in for a *very* nasty shock when he does file or get audited if he hasn't paid any estimated taxes. He also has non-trivial credit card debt (about 30% of his annual net income). I have contact information for their current landlords and permission to call and confirm that they're reliable tenants. My instincts (which usually serve me well) say they're solid people. But their finances seem kind of sketchy to me. Another factor: the apartment has more bedrooms than they really need. They both live with roommates now, there's no reason they can't bring in a roommate if they find the rent unmanageable (it is about 20% higher than what they're paying now). If their credit report indicates that they keep up with payments and didn't give me bad information about their debts, and the pay their rent now, should I be concerned? Or should I just let it go?

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
Based on what we currently know from satellite imagery, would summiting Olympus Mons be likely to require technical climbing skills, or would it just be a long, long walk up?

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
You are a lean, female athlete. Take me through your breakfast, lunch and dinner. Take me through your snacks. If you use supplements and/or protein powders, those too.I am 28, moderately athletic, and I have no dietary restrictions or allergies. I recently noticed that when I weighed about 15 pounds less than my current weight, I was able to run faster and longer. I would like to lose that weight and a bit more, but without going back to my old eating habits (1200 mostly empty calories of crap a day - eating that way didn't work out in the long run - hence the 15 pound weight gain). I'm working my back to a more raw fruits and vegetables based diet, with lean meat - but I don't really know the best strategy. I am looking for what athletic women with lean body types eat on a daily basis, and when and how much they eat of it.* My current exercise regime, to give you an idea of my daily energy expenditure: - I run 2-4 miles a day, about 5-7 days a week. On average, 18 miles a week. - I mix up straight runs with HIIT runs, alternating days - I cross-train with cycling and vinyasa yoga, about once or twice a week - Daily restorative yoga - I lift free weights once a week (I have access to two free gyms - one at work, one at my apartment complex - and neither have barbells, so I have to do dumbbell versions of barbell deadlifts and squats) - but I'd like to get back to doing this 2-3x a week again, if that's even necessary (I know there's debate about this) - I've got a new routine in place to tackle my weak core (I someone neglected it until now) My personal goal is to get down to 18-20% body fat (no more, no less). So, again I ask: what do the athletic women out there eat to stay lean, energy resourceful and race-ready? The more details, the better! *While I recognize that most women with Olympic athlete figures are usually just that - Olympic athletes who train for a living - I do know working women who work equally hard at their nutrition and exercise to achieve that lean, athletic body type. So I know it's possible, I just haven't been able to solve how it's possible.

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
I have a clinic. Rather than magazines, I have mechanical/manipulative puzzles in the lobby. I was wondering if anyone could recommend any I was not familiar with. Ideally they should be one piece, as there are a few children in and out of there. Things like tangrams or take apart puzzles wouldn't work. I am familiar with twistypuzzles.com , but their listing is too exhostive to tell the grain from the chaff. Right now I have: A perplexus Cubes with ball bearing dexterity puzzles (do these have an official name?) A Rubik's Cube A Rubik's Snake/Twist A Rubik's Magic A Turnstile A "The Brain Puzzler" I was thinking about putting a 20 Q, but I am afraid it would grow legs. What puzzle of this type do you love?

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I need a time flexible online therapy/therapist reommendation. Special snowflake details inside.I have been living abroad for the last four years. Due to a set of unfortunate circumstances (ill advised moves and sexual assault isolating me from any in country support systems and severe family dysfunction at home) I've reached a point were I think I could benefit from professional help. Unfortunately, there isn't a large resource of English speaking therapists in the country I'm in (South Korea) and social stigma/a lax attitude toward foreigner's privacy makes me hesitant to contact anyone here. (I haven't ruled out staying in country for sundry reasons and any job applications ask about mental health issues so I want to be able to keep this as hush hush as possible.) Does anyone have any personal recommendations for therapists who conduct online practices. I think I may prefer person to person skype sessions, but anything would be better than nothing. I've created a burner account if anyone has more questions/doesn't want to share publicly burneracount246753@gmail.com TL/DR: Living abroad and in over my head. Need an online therapist to help me sort my fucking life out

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I want to find out the volume of specific produce items (e.g. baby lettuce, arugula, basil, vine tomatoes) sold at typical grocery stores. For example, how many pounds of baby spring mix are sold over the course of a month at the average Whole Foods or the average Trader Joe's? How many pounds of basil? Can anyone point me to a source of data that I can extrapolate from? Detailed information on a single store would be helpful just to get a ballpark figure for specific produce items. Is it 500 lbs a month? 5,000 lbs? I'm more interested in total weight than dollar figures, but I'll take either.My ultimate data set would include detailed quantity data per product for the entire produce department in a well-defined store (e.g. a 40K square foot Whole Foods in the Northeast, or a 10K square foot Trader Joe's in California). But I'd be pleased with even a few specific data points that would tell me monthly sales quantities. In particular for green leafy items: lettuce, arugula, kale, herbs. Does any of this data exist publicly? I found a lot of industry-wide data but could not find store-specific data. I do plan to befriend a produce manager at some point, but I hope to find an existing data source before I go human to human.

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