posted less than an hour ago on metafilter
The executive action that tore a nation apart (previously)

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posted about 1 hour ago on metafilter
Retailers prepare as Black Friday goes global. And even the UK is getting more and more into the feel of a Thanksgiving meal. Wow, even Denmark is joining the fray too!

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posted about 1 hour ago on metafilter
I've been out of college for about 15 years, where I minored in music composition, but I wouldn't say it was a complete education, although I'm pretty good on basic theory, counterpoint, modulating, etc. In the meantime I've done a bit of film and video game music on the side, but I really want to have a rigorous education in modern composition.My time isn't quite flexible enough to go back to school, so I think my only choice is finding a composer who will take me on as a student. But where do I look? Should I just contact the local university music school? I've found a couple online instructors, but they seem more like lesson factories, and I want something more local (Austin, TX) and personal.

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posted about 2 hours ago on metafilter
I absolutely love the vibe of the song "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith. Would like more songs like this, please.The tempo makes it perfect for slow dancing...if only the lyrics weren't so depressing. Can you recommend more songs like this, preferably a bit happier? And what IS this sound, anyway? Is it soul? Jazz? I feel like this is probably a whole genre that I'm unaware of. I feel very ignorant...

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posted about 2 hours ago on metafilter
"Eat Turkey, Become American." (SLNYTimes essay)

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posted about 2 hours ago on metafilter
The list to follow is offered purely in a spirit of fun and education, and is not intended to be definitive. It concerns only the most basic physics concepts, and nothing electronic. No answers are offered. Remember the wise words of Bob Crease in Physics World (Oct 2014): "Googling is not the Gardner way. The Gardner way is to ignite your fascination so that you experience the pleasure of finding the answer yourself."

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posted about 3 hours ago on metafilter
There's a particular meme that I remember seeing a while back, probably on Reddit, and I'm wondering if (a) it has a name and (b) if anyone has curated examples of it.The meme goes like this: one person will relate, in the first person, a story that happened to them. Then in the replies, other users will relate the same story from the perspectives of the other people involved. I can only remember one concrete example, which I think occurred in a "what's a spooky thing that happened to you?" thread: User A writes a story about how he was sitting round a campfire at night when a guy wanders out of the woods playing a guitar. User B replies with a story about how he was wandering through the woods at night playing his guitar and came across a group of campers. User C replies with a story (written from the point of view of the guitar) about how he was being played by his owner as he wandered through the woods etc. etc. Often the replies closely mimic the structure of the original story (same sentence structure etc.) Has anyone ever seen a name for this particular meme? Or a list of examples?

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
"He was a fun-loving, care-free sort of see-ball, hit-ball guy with a cheeky grin" ... "We would have late-night coffees and he would just be in awe of the fact he was playing for Australia.... He would just say 'I'm going to go out there and smash it bro'. That was how he would talk. He would not think about it. He would just go out there and whack the ball. He was just positive all the time, he never moaned or complained. Australian test cricketer Phillip Hughes has died in hospital two days after being hit by a bouncer during a match between South Australia and New South Wales in Sydney. [Warning: graphic images.] Hughes was struck on the neck by a ball from NSW bowler Sean Abbott, causing a rare vertebral artery dissection, which flooded Hughes's brain with blood. Widely regarded as one of the most promising batsmen of his generation, he was expected to return to the Australian side for the upcoming test series against India. Now, top-level cricket matches across the globe are being suspended to enable players to mourn and the first Test against India may be cancelled. Hughes rose to prominence in 2009 by becoming the youngest player (at 20) to score centuries in both innings of a test match. He was known for his thrilling, fluent stroke-play and straightforward approach to the game. Hughes, who grew up in rural Northern New South Wales and once joked that "he knew a lot about cricket and cattle but not much else," was three days away from his 26th birthday.

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
President of Eckerd college Donald Eastman III wrote a letter to the students about preventing sexual assault. His recommendation? Less alcohol and less casual sex. The college's student paper, The Current, responds in a civil, well spoken and cogent rebuttal.

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
She started by diving into PubMed—an online search engine for biomedical papers—hunting down everything she could on Charcot-Marie-Tooth. She hoped that her brief fling with a scientific education would carry her through. But with pre-med knowledge that had been gathering dust for 30 years and no formal training in genetics, Kim quickly ran head first into a wall of unfamiliar concepts and impenetrable jargon. "It was like reading Chinese," she says.

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
Can you recommend shows or books that act as great "love-hate" letters deconstructing and showing off the flaws in a particular idea or genre while also being loving examples of the genre?The ones I am thinking of while writing this are Cabin in the Woods (Hollywood Horror story) and Madoka (Anime magical girls). To a lesser extent Worm does this with the superhero genre (there must be more superhero ones, I'm just not thinking of them at the moment) and the children of earth season of Torchwood with sfnal terror.

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
I'm undertaking a research project in which I'm evaluating several different organizations based on specific yet qualitative criteria, e.g. "promotes outreach", "reports on progress", etc. I need to able to capture the information and then display the results in some sort of meaningful way so that it can be incorporated into a report.Excel would seem the obvious answer here, but because of the heavily text-based input rather than quantitative (numeric) data I feel like a spreadsheet is not really the way to go. I've looked into various database options, but there are so many that I feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start. Oh, and I'd prefer a Windows-based solution. I'm not sure what other information I should provide in order to get recommendations, so please feel free to ask! Also please assume I'm completely ignorant about data management solutions, if that wasn't already glaringly, embarrassingly apparent.

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
TV, movie, and book suggestions for a Daria fanI love Daria and am dismayed that I am just about done viewing the series. I found it to be smart, funny, and poignant, the last of which really surprised me. I appreciated its focus on life lessons and really appreciated that overall it never ventured into vulgarity. I'm really going to miss Daria and Jane and am looking for tv, movie, book, and graphic novel recommendations that might ease the transition. Ideally it would have a female protagonist or a good amount of female characters. Thank you!

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posted about 10 hours ago on metafilter
How did you learn to feel comfortable in your body after trauma? (Possible trigger warning)I am currently seeing a psychologist to discuss sexual trauma that occurred when I was an adolescent and how this has played into intense self-esteem and fear of intimacy issues. I don't feel comfortable in my body, I find it unpleasant to touch and I am particularly sensitive to others touching me. (I can be hugged/touched by people I trust and get enjoyment out of this). Talking really helps, and I'm definitely seeing the value in this but I am looking to see if there are any practical and perhaps more physical things I may be able to start doing to help me begin to love and feel comfortable in my body. I have been doing very tiny things, such as lying in my bed and placing my hands on my stomach and just sitting with it to see how I go - It is uncomfortable and slightly weird but I'm getting better. I've also been making an effort to wear really bright and (by my definition) pretty clothes to make me appreciate how I look in some form (can't appreciate my body, but I can appreciate what I'm wearing). I know there is such thing as trauma sensitive yoga and I intend to investigate this further but I would love to hear from individuals who went through a similar experience and who put things in place to learn how to combat this. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
Long story short, my wife and I are separating and I may try to find work and live in the US (I'm currently in Canada and a Canadian citizen). I'm trying to hear from others who have shared custody of their children where their ex- lives in another country. My situation is across the US/Canada border but I'm interesting in hearing other experiences as well.Both of my children (6, 2) were born in Canada and have Canadian citizenship. My so-to-be ex and I are splitting amicably and I'm hoping to figure out a way to maintain as much of a presence in their lives as possible while living across the border. How have others worked out schedules (when the children stayed where), schools, day care, and other logistics? Am I fooling myself to think it might be possible to make this work?

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
The NYT calculates the probability of pregnancy using 15 common birth control methods, for up to 10 years of both "typical" and "perfect" use. Protip: the graphs do slidey comparison things on mouseover!

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posted about 11 hours ago on metafilter
I'd like some recommendations for books to get my 6 year old girl who has a vast interior life I only rarely get glimpses of.I'm gone a lot because of work. My wife is not a big reader, though I am and so is our daughter. My wife suggested I start sending her books as a way of staying in touch. I love this idea. However, I don't really have an idea what she likes or will be drawn to. I know she's got a lot going on inside, because every now and then she'll let some comment fall that is wholly beyond my baffled, paternal experience. We went camping recently, and amid a mild conversation about art she exclaimed "Everything is art! You are art! This [stamping the ground] is art!" I'm at a loss. While I'm astonished and pleased at this, I'm also slightly worried about her becoming Sylvia Plath. Anyway, I remember books were such a formative part of my childhood, and it seems like they will be for her, too. Please help me pick some books that sparked an interest in you or someone you love, for this someone that I love. PS, while I am deeply interested in science, she seems more interested in medicine. And zombies. And cake pops.

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
My father is, and always has been, a loving, decent, supportive, honorable person. He's also always been crotchety, unworldly, domineering, and set in his ways. Is there a way to encourage him--without preaching and without being strident--to reflect on the ways his attitudes sometimes cross the border from "Sh*t My Dad Says" into less defensibly hateful/ignorant territory?Some examples of what I mean, in more-or-less chronological order of how long I've noticed them. Some of these may be more benign/everyday than others, but I'm trying to list as wide a range of examples as I can think of: - He regularly uses the word "beaner"--especially to refer to landscapers--and he seems to take pleasure in using it. (He's careful not to use it in front of the people it actually refers to.) - He becomes noticeably cagey and irritable whenever he's in a non-majority-white environment. He avoids cities that are known for having large black populations, and overcautions me about safety whenever I visit them--usually avoiding the topic of race for as long as he can manage but he'll always end up saying something like "you know, [Town X] is a predominantly black town, so be careful. Not that I mean anything racial by that." (Er...come again, dad? O_o ) Related examples: I lived in Oakland for six years; when he visited he commented, offhandedly, that the town is "80% black." (Actual percentage: 28%) When I was 24 I did a web site for a black photography exhibit on the South Side of Chicago; when I mentioned this to him he basically tried to forbid me from going to the gallery opening because he was convinced it was too dangerous. - He has little patience for TV roundtable discussions about the black community ("yeah, you've all been suffering for millions of years...") Whenever he watches college football he makes jokes about how black players have probably never "seen a classroom." (N.B. He doesn't express this in explicitly racial terms and it doesn't seem consciously racially motivated, but it's noticeable that he never makes these jokes about white players.) - When I told him anecdotes about being an Anglophone white dude in Korea he responded that "Koreans are white"--the idea being (I guess??) that anything that isn't black is white. When he visited me in Japan he kept commenting, with apparent surprise, that Japanese people "don't look Oriental." - Due to a series of ridiculous coincidences worthy of a Norman Lear sitcom, we had to walk through long stretches of the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade to get to a baseball game during his last visit. His first reaction was to mutter something about believing in individual expression and complain that "you never see a parade for the Marines"; later in the day he said something about how if he saw the "queers" coming through his neighborhood dressed like that he'd "mow them down with an M-16" (weird that his brain kept going to the military); then, that night, when we saw some parade stragglers on the train, he said that they were "what's wrong with this country today: too much freedom, not enough discipline," and asked me if I thought it was "normal behavior" (it wasn't clear if "it" referred to non-heteronormative sexuality or to the parade itself.) I tried to argue that the parade is as much a party as an advocacy event--that it's meant as a celebration of diversity and a momentary questioning of dualistic gender roles (forget the exact wording I used), that there are people in the LGBT community who would agree that it's too ostentatious, and that nobody was saying he had to like it--but none of this really seemed to sink in. (We were, admittedly, both pretty tired by the time this conversation wound down.) For the most part these comments of his don't come across as elements of a deliberately thought-out political philosophy or belief system, and with the exception of the M-16 comment I'm not sure any of it really falls outside what a lot of people of his age and background (73, grew up in conservative Western Pennsylvania, although he did live in Chicago for 40 years) would feel about these topics. So despite the inflammatory thread title I don't think my dad is a "bigot," at least not in the sense that he would understand that term. It's more a case of him having had little social contact with people different from him, never having had any reason to think about what it feels like to live outside mainstream society, and reacting out of emotion to things that are unfamiliar to him, than of him literally "believing" this stuff. Still, it's depressing to me, because I've always known my dad to be a caring and good-hearted guy--way more empathetic than any of his relatives. Yet he seems viscerally resentful of any discussion of minority experience, and he keeps coming back to these attitudes even though he's never seemed particularly invested in them. I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with anything similar with a loved one, and if there's a good way to illustrate that you can be a bigot without "being" a bigot--or to nudge his thinking, gently, about how some of the ideas he expresses can come across as hateful and paranoid even though he, personally, doesn't believe anything hateful or paranoid about them. At times it seems like he really wants to understand the other viewpoint, but at the same time he's so reflexively uncomfortable about it all that the whole thing feels beyond my diplomatic skills. The "structural inequality" argument seems too abstract to get the point across, and everything else seems too accusatory... Any thoughts, as we head into this season of family togetherness? :-)

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posted about 12 hours ago on metafilter
I'm interested in teaching high school students mathematics through a tutoring agency. I have the required experience in mathematics, but very little in teaching. This doesn't seem to be a massive problem for many tutoring agencies, but I want to know: do you have any specific tips/advice about teaching mathematics? And more broadly, any advice about applying for and going to work for a tutoring agency?I'm a big fan of maths, and very interested in teaching it. I don't simply like it because 'there's only one right answer' etc, I like it for a frajillion reasons: the beauty of elegant proofs, the fun of problem solving, and the fact that it underlies the functioning of the universe as we know it. Heck, I do maths in my spare time. I make lame maths jokes. I am ready to accept that I am a fully-fledged maths nerd. I understand that enjoying maths is not the same as being capable to teach it. I have gone through much of the high school maths syllabus (I am in Australia) and understand how to teach it from first principles. Anything you can give me that would help me more ably engagingly teach mathematics to potential future students would be much appreciated.

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
What are your favorite super-involved, day-long recipes?I absolutely love cooking big, elaborate meals on weekends. Killing a Sunday cooking a complex dish is one of my favorite things in the world - nice roasts, interesting braises, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, I'm running out of ideas. What are some great big, involved recipes that I should try? For reference for the kinds of things I'm looking for, last weekend I made this bo ssam, and the weekend before that I braised and oven-grilled pigs feet, then made soup dumplings with the collagen-ey broth left behind from the braising. Weird or esoteric ingredients are fine - I'm based in NYC so I can get a hold of most things with a little notice. Equipment should be limited to anything you'd find in a well-appointed American kitchen, though I'm not adverse to buying new equipment if I can find it online and its under fifty bucks or so.

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
How have you reconciled differing sex drives?I am looking for stories and anecdotes about how you (and your partner) have reconciled your seemingly incompatible sex drives. As the person with the lower drive, what has helped you to compromise and have more sex with your partner? As the person with the higher drive, what have you done to better deal with and accept a frequency lower than you'd prefer? Tips on communicating about this issue, things that have improved the situation, mental hacks for accepting the state of things, all are welcome. If things worked out, and how; or if things didn't, and at what point you realized it was a losing battle. Thanks!

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
I am doing some pre-cooking for tomorrow, and hit a snag. The recipe I used for dressing was one loaf of cubed sourdough bread, some sauteed-in-butter celery/onion/green apple, fresh parsley, thyme, salt and pepper, and baked with turkey broth and eggs. The result is a dressing slightly too tangy and without much interest. Hoping you can help.As it stands, the sourdough bread just kind of overpowers the dish and the tart apples add to the tartness. The dressing isn't a sold baked mass and needs more time, so I can fold in some new ingredient- but what? Raisins might be too sweet. Sauteed mushrooms, maybe? That doesn't sound appealing to me, for some reason. I have cranberries on hand, but we already have cranberry sauce. Pecans? Eh. I am thinking diced dried figs for sweetness (but not too much) and toasted pine nuts -? Any suggestions are so appreciated. Thanks, and Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

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posted about 13 hours ago on metafilter
I'm the frontman for a band and I recently had a come-to-Jesus moment using in-ear monitors for the first time, as opposed to monitor wedges. But some of the pitfalls scare me and I'm interested in your experiences.We're a five piece powerpop band playing pretty small stages but we are LOUD onstage -- two guitars, Hammond organ, drums, bass, all in a small space. My voice is at its best when I'm not oversinging and as a result I usually end up with the gain on my vocal channel cranked and my monitors absolutely blazing. It's a recipe for feedback and it's very rare that I can really hear myself, which means I'm often off pitch. I recently tried IEMs and HOLY SHIT I CAN HEAR MYSELF. I was pretty much an instant convert. However as the frontman I really need to be able to interact with the audience properly -- that's a big thing for us -- and there is that weird isolation effect going on. I've been experimenting with ambient mics but it hasn't really helped me feel less of a douche -- I'm just wondering what other people's experiences have been and if it's something I'll just get over. FWIW I am using a Shure PSM300 system, with no problems.

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posted about 14 hours ago on metafilter
I find it very hard to cope with extramarital attractions that are cropping up several years into my marriage. What gives?I started my current long term relationship when I was in a very bad place in my twenties - depression and substance abuse issues, mess of family and health troubles etc. Due to this, my libido was really low, let's say displaced, for a decade. We lived together and were busy with grad school, several international moves, then we married and had a kid, bought a house, settled down. Our marriage is going strong and I admire and love my partner, whom I believe to be an exceptional human being and an extremely good fit for me. We make a great team and he is my best friend. But recently I feel like I'm surrounded by men I find attractive, and I'm sorry to say, I love it. It brightens my days and brings me joy to flirt even with strangers (I had never enjoyed this before). I try to channel these energies into other fields like music, art, I exercise a lot, I keep busy. But I feel like this flirty persona is the real 'me' that after all these years of difficulties and stress, I've finally found. I've grown into my skin, and to discover men find me sexually attractive - and vice versa - is such a thrill. It's like a whole different world - like somebody switched me from mono to stereo, or from black and white to color vision. I wouldn't want to go back to being blind to all this. But it's also putting me in uncomfortable spots and sometimes advances are hard to resist. Ultimately, it fills me with dread to imagine that I'll be in a marriage for the rest of my life, and that I'll never have another man. I know - this seems like something that should have come up much earlier, like before getting married, but back then I was never strongly interested in other men in a sexual way and assumed it would just stay like that...but now, oh boy. I didn't even know women could feel that way, I thought that was reserved for guys! I feel like I'm resisting a constant barrage of temptations, every.fucking.day. And what to do about it? All the answers I find when I research this start with the assumption that my marriage is somehow deficient - that it's missing something deeper. But after some consideration, I don't think it is. I think we're doing great as a couple and both of us are happy individually, too. We have great sex, communication, respect, etc. It's just...sometimes I feel like I need more than this one man, in a purely physical sense. I realize that putting it out there in the cold daylight like this makes me sound like a total asshole, but there it is. Have you dealt with this? How did you get through it? I understand, therapy, etc., but I'd love to hear how you personally dealt, or deal, with being in a monogamous relationship, and having an active libido and strong physical cravings for other people. Is it just always a struggle? How did you turn it into something that works for you long term? Or is everybody else just having affairs right and left and not telling me about it?

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posted about 14 hours ago on metafilter
MeFi Kitty Experts . . . I come to you: I have extensively googled and asked friends and family, but I want to hear your own stories and experiences. Today, at the local animal shelter, I met the most amazing 3 yr old male (neutered) kitty. I want to know if he is a good match for my 10 year old (also neutered) male kitty. This is a ten-year commitment and I want to get it right.6 months ago, we lost our beloved female kitty. She and the 10yr old male got along great . . . they had been together for about 8 years. Existing kitty is a Siamese/Tabby mix. He is playful and vocal and seeks out attention. I love on him when I am home, but am typically gone about 10-14 hours per day. I went to the shelter seeking another older female, but instead met this awesome young male who totally stole my heart. I am ready to bring him home, but for the part of me that somehow believes that two males (both neutered) cannot successfully co-habitate. Tell me your stories and prove me wrong, MeFi . . . can two male kitties live together without dominance and territorial issues? Is this a good match or should I keep looking for a female companion for my boy?

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