posted about 2 hours ago on metafilter
The pic of the switch described in this question is here. I have these 16mm diameter switches with these tiny little contacts, with tiny little holes in each. I have to connect wires to all of them, and soldering onto them is really tough because they're so little and so close together. I have a bunch of them to do so I was wondering if there's some sort of ultra-tiny female spade solderless connector that exists, or some other sort of solderless connector that would allow me to skip all that soldering. If so, where could I buy them?If I have to solder them then I also have to goop them with liquid rubber to make sure I get no shorts, etc. Altogether a real pain, and they don't seem real robust so I'm kind of concerned that they could break off if I move the soldered-on wire too much. Any help? Thanks! Tom

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
House on sale through broker, but it's not moving. Are there alternatives that I should consider?This was me several weeks ago. So my house has been on the market with a leading sales broker for nearly two months and not even a serious nibble. One of the main problems is that it's small, set off the street and surrounded by two behemoth multistory homes - shared driveway. Neighborhood isn't the greatest. It seems like the buyers' brokers (who are providing the bulk of the sales leads) are sending mostly single women over to see it, and guess what, they're not interested. (I bought the place years ago as a single woman, but that was the nineties, the country was in a different state, and I was young and dumb.) Open house was held today: nary a nibble. I'm thinking that we need to tap into some different markets. Have you been in this situation, and can you suggest any resources? I'm thinking of going down in person to my town's housing authority to see if I can connect with an interested buyer who might not be as picky about some of the property's flaws. I've tried calling them but their phone system seems to be an endless loop for someone with a general question. I will also be talking with my own broker directly about different markets for this house other than residential buyers referred by brokers. I can't believe that NO commercial buyer would be interested in this house to the point of paying an OK but not great price for it. The house is close to a local community college and could be renovated and rented. (I'm also considering calling the community college.)

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
Fascinated by those Best of Enemies, Gore Vidal and William Buckley, going at it in 1968 live on national television? (youtube). It's Buckley against Vidal, but don't get pulled into the Buckley Myth Or listen to James Baldwin debate William Buckley

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
Mefites, Trying to help my sister with her Federal student loan payments which are serviced by a group out of Pennsylvania at myfedloan.org. We have gone through multiple rounds of paperwork and hours on the phone with more than a dozen different customer service representatives and managers. Any ideas? Details inside.Sister was given a waiver last year b/c her student loan payments were more than 20% of her income. She filled out the paperwork to renew that waiver. Waiver denied because of "substantial increased income." Not so much - a few hundred dollars increase, but enough that her income is $8.00 over the limit for the waiver. $8 whole dollars. After paperwork for an income-based payment plan, she's now being asked to pay over $800/month. Which she doesn't have and our family doesn't have. Meanwhile, her student loan account is in default. I know her payment isn't being calculated correctly as I have (lucky me!) more loans than she does and my payment is much less -- and is calculated based on a two-income household. My servicer is much easier to communicate with than these people. It's like one big circle. If anyone knows of a person inside myfedloan who is helpful, I would welcome contact information. Or if there are loan mediators? I suppose a lawyer would be a possibility, but that seems ridiculous for student loan terms. Not sure what to do. Feel like this is a losing battle. Thanks, folks.

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posted about 4 hours ago on metafilter
What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato?So I have cerebral palsy. Mentally okay, and all that's notable physically would be the use of a wheelchair. I'm a big guy, but not horrifically unattractive. OKCupid here, and open to critiques. I have some issues with social anxiety and I do stutter. Even given all that though, why can't I seem to pierce this thick fog of asexuality that seems to be ascribed to anyone with a disability? It's so bad that the very idea of having another person who is sexually attracted to me touch me fills me with anxiety. I'm old enough now that I realize this isn't going to go away unless I work on it. It bothers me that, at my age, I still give off an over-eager innocence that kills any potential butterflies anyone else might have. Either that, or I'm pursued by much older men with an attraction to that innocence that borders on creepy. It's because of this that all my "relationship" needs are filled through friendship with eternally unavailable attractive straight men. Not healthy, and painful for me. How do I fix this? How do I express to others that I've come into my own and am a whole person with needs and desires like most anyone else. How and whom do I date? Already in therapy- looking for new perspectives and/or practical suggestions. Thanks all!

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
I have been swiping mystery candies from a dish where I work. They aren't mine and they aren't there for me to eat. But I find myself alone with the dish sometimes and they get eaten. I've eaten too many for it not to be noticed, and I don't want to confess my crime and ask the candy's rightful owner. I really love these candies, but I don't know what they are and therefore, can't buy my own. They are about the size of peanut M&Ms, oval, and are dark chocolate inside. On the outside, they resemble smooth, matte-surfaced berries. Some are the color of blueberries and some are the color of cranberries. The coating is only about half as thick as the coating on an M&M. Anybody know what these are?

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
My mom got sick to the point she was hospitalized for two days, pretty much vomiting up her stomach lining. Now she's home, she's lost her discharge instructions, and has a significant loss of balance so she tottering up and down flights up stairs with extreme risk, almost collapsing in the store when she goes to get groceries. She needs a visiting nurse service, something.She lives alone and there's no family available to help--I'm in a wheelchair and can't do the whole stair thing. She needs monitoring. She needs to stay off the fucking stairs as much as possible. We don't know what the hell is wrong with her--hospital staff kept asking her if she had traveled outside the country but couldn't find any known viral agent in her bloodwork. That's all I know. THANK YOU for any and all suggestions.

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
Juan Romero, the Ambassador Hotel busboy who cradled a dying Robert F. Kennedy after he was shot on June 5, 1968, carried the weight of that moment through the decades. Now, he says, "I don't carry the cross anymore."

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
I want to try learning shorthand as a way to more quickly transcribe interviews. I'm open to recommendations for typewritten shorthands, but think I might prefer something handwritten, so I can use it even when I'm not on my laptop. Ideally, I'd like to be able to easily read it later, long after taking the notes.I also don't want to be very distracted as I'm jotting things down (I'd like to take notes while I'm interviewing someone; right now, I record interviews and then type them later). Does anyone have experience with shorthand? Gregg? Teeline? Something else? Also, please tell me if you think it's easier to get faster at typing than shorthand (I type around ~60 wpm, so it seems like maybe I could get faster if I trained somehow).

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
A light somewhere on my PC motherboard, my best guess is near the Ethernet connector, has recently begun to flash irregularly even after system shutdown, which is driving me nuts, because I sleep in the same room. I can't easily cover up the light or open my case, and since the PC was built for me by someone I can no longer reach, I need your help to kill that light.My motherboard is either a Gigabyte GA-Z77-DS3H or H77-DS3H, and the light is below and to one side of the fan, closest to the wire connected to my cable modem. The behavior started approximately 2 days ago as far as I can tell, with the flashing being very intermittent but still at least hourly after shutdown. I've been running Windows 10 now, upgraded from 7, for at least a couple weeks, so I doubt that's it. Thanks for reading!

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posted about 5 hours ago on metafilter
I'm currently writing a song and part of that includes recording lots of vocals. I have available --my computer, an apple laptop, with a built-in mike --garage band --my headphones with a voice input/mike Help me make it the best it can be!Should I use the computer, the headphones, or experiment? Is there anything I can do to make this chintzy setup sound less chintzy? Any big mistakes to avoid? I have an A/C and a fan running in the background, obviously should turn those off, right? Any particular things I should keep in mind when singing? I am a great singer within about a 3 note range but since I'm writing the song, that's not a problem. I mean more like "don't breathe too much" or "keep an equal distance from the mike the whole time". Think "I am stuck in a bunker with only this equipment and I am going to record the fuck out of this song, what do I do" not "I am going to go to the shop and buy a bunch of things" because, well, I'm not going to do that

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
My beloved stand mixer has stripped its gears, and is in need of repair... but the official repair centers are far out in Brooklyn and Queens, and closed on Sundays -- rendering them inaccessible to me.Is there an unofficial small appliance repair place you'd recommend in Manhattan, close-in Brooklyn or Queens, or even somewhere in Westchester that I might be able to drop the machine off without losing too many hours of work?

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
Mount McKinley Will Again Be Called Denali [New York Times] President Obama announced on Sunday that Mount McKinley was being renamed Denali, restoring an Alaska Native name with deep cultural significance to the tallest mountain in North America. The move came on the eve of Mr. Obama's trip to Alaska, where he will spend three days promoting aggressive action to combat climate change, and is part of a series of steps meant to address the concerns of Alaska Native tribes. The central Alaska mountain has been called Mount McKinley for more than a century. In announcing that Sally Jewell, the secretary of the interior, had used her power to rename it, Mr. Obama was paying tribute to the state's Native population, which has referred to the site for generations as Denali, meaning "the high one" or "the great one."

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
Duck army (SLVine) - just six seconds of video but what seconds they are. (Requires audio)

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
Does anyone know who's in this NSFW picture with Ernest Hemingway (?) and what's the scenario? Thanks in advance!

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
I'm an attractive, successful, and put-together woman in my late 20s, and find it impossible to meet men I'm interested in. I have zero social circle in my newish city, live and work with older people with families, and have had no luck online. I'm also not naturally outgoing so don't meet people at random places. Not desperate but just want to find a good person to share my life with. What's a girl to do?I've asked coworkers but most are older than me. I've tried tinder, okcupid, meetup, and even paid for match, but it's been disappointing. Not sure if online is right for me. It always ends up disappointing, people are less attractive than they portray on their profiles, and you can tell instantly there's no chemistry. What's worse is that since I'm introverted, I feel like I have to expend energy to finish the date when I'd rather be at home! I do have to say I have high standards, not in terms of material goods and accocolades, but in the depth, humor, and values of people in my life. I'd like to believe I'm awesome, and I want my partner to be able to keep up. Most people who contact me are boring, unattractive, or seem to be unable to string together a full sentence. I've always had to be the asker of dates I'm interested in, and even those are hard to find. I'm not aggressive or scary-- just confident and upfront, even in real life. Summary is I can't seem to meet single, attractive, intelligent gentlemen who have their lives together. Are they too rare or all taken? Advice appreciated.

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posted about 6 hours ago on metafilter
I'm a guy living with my girlfriend and her elementary school age son. My girlfriend lost her job about three years ago, and has only worked for six total months in the time since. I'm trying to stay positive and encouraging for her because I know unemployment can be soul-crushing, but lately I'm starting to wonder if my "support" isn't just "enabling." Is the future as dark as I fear, and what kind of changes does she need to make in order to restart her career?When my girlfriend "Diane" and I first met, we were both working as teachers at different schools in the same school system. After we had been together for about six months, Diane lost her teaching job after getting into a verbal altercation with an administrator. Diane later explained to me that this administrator had a history of speaking to her in a demeaning and unprofessional way, and that she released a lot of pent-up anger after being talked down to again on a particularly bad day. After an investigation, Diane was barred from working for our school system. This was especially harmful to her career as a teacher because there's a constant flow of personnel, information, and rumor in the good ol' boy network between our school system, the only other local public system, and our town's private school. She is effectively blacklisted at all three. (The administrator in question was removed from her position about a year later after multiple complaints similar to Diane's were lodged against her.) About six months after that incident, Diane and her son moved in to my apartment after her brother, with whom she had been living, developed a drug problem and threatened to abuse both my girlfriend and her child. I have been the sole financial support for my girlfriend and her son for a little over two years now. We make enough to get by on my salary alone, but just barely. We have nothing left over at the end of each month to save or invest. Diane has absolutely no desire to be a stay at home mom, and at first she seemed determined to find a new job in business, the area of her undergraduate degree. As time goes by, this seems less and less likely. We have stopped talking about her job search entirely because Diane says it is humiliating to discuss being rejected time and time again, and that the subject makes her feel like a failure as an adult, a girlfriend, and a mother. She has every sign of depression. I've tried to stay encouraging, avoid nagging, and build her up as best I can. Still, I'm more worried about the future than I let on. She has said that she doesn't want to marry me until she can hold down a job, and neither of us want to have a child together until we are married, so some of my most important goals in life seem to be on indefinite hiatus. I'm just not sure what we should do at this point. Diane is very intelligent and a hard worker, but I'm not sure that anyone would be looking to hire someone with no business experience, a ten year old unused bachelor's degree and a resume gap of over two years. Her family and friends can't provide her with a "connection" to get a job (believe me, she's asked), and I work for the same system that she's blacklisted from. We can't leave the town we live in due to her need to care for elderly parents and her custody arrangement with her ex-husband. Leaving the relationship is not an option for me because of the love I have for Diane and her son, who I have helped to raise for the past two years and view as my step-son. I'm at a loss. I want to continue to encourage Diane, but I don't know if her current goal is realistic. I feel like I should give her advice on something else to try, but I'm not sure exactly what that should be. A part of me keeps thinking "tough love," but I don't want to leave the relationship or to be cruel to someone I love who is clinically depressed. I suppose I'd like feedback on a few points: 1. If you've been in Diane's shoes, what did you need from a partner? 2. If you've been in my position, how did you balance realism with encouragement? 3. What do you think Diane should be doing to improve her chances of restarting a work career?

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
salad - healthy, right? or is it?

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
I am stuck in a constant cycle of deep underemployment. I live a life of sheer financial terror and bitter dissapointment. I can't continue like this.(This post is not totally unlike posts I have made before...but I am still searching for answers. I am starting to think I am a truly imbecilic person who just doesn't "get it". So bear with me, and treat like a 10 year old if need be...) Stats: 42, male, Toronto, Ontario As of now, and for the past 2 years, I have an income of as little as $650 to no more than $1200 a month. It generally sits at about $800. My rent is now $500; this is because I now live with two psychopaths who make me want eat bullets. The only jobs I have been able to get are in retail merchandising. These positions are always part-time, and while I work for two agencies, the shifts are overlapping. Often shifts are cancelled or run short. Minimum wage with no chance of advancement. I *used* to have an almost-career that I miss terribly. I was a territory sales rep / merchandising supervisor for an agricultural supplier. I fell into this gig; I started as a (surprise!) merchandiser and impressed the higher-ups suitably enough to be offered my own territory. I did very well at it and lasted 7 years until the company restructured and elimented the sales force. It did not pay that well, for the record. That was two years ago, since then I have had no luck in finding a similar role. I am becoming convinced that jobs like that no longer exist. Brass tacks: I am obviously not marketing myself correctly. My resume is a piece of shit, no matter how hard I try I can't make it sound good. How do people know how do this? I'm such an idiot. I've read articles and used templates...nothing sinks in. Fail. I also have no idea where to seek out these kind of jobs. I've scoured Kijiji and Craigslist, Indeed, LinkedIn, Monster, local job banks, Addecco, Randstad, SalesRep.ca....No avail. What I am finding too is most positions in this field require experience and education far beyond what I have. Here are my skills, I think: I read planograms. I can write them too (I've never been able find this job listed). I can sell. If I understand the product well enough, I will sell it. I would educate the potential buyer on the benefits of said product, and demonstrate its competitive value. I always dealt with re-sellers (B2B), thus I would present a whole catalog to the customer, help assess their needs and then build orders. I would help the customer best present the product (display). Then, the follow-up. Markdowns, damages / returns, I would lead the process. One of my specialties was conflict resolution...my bosses nicknamed me the Hostage Negotiator. I would put out fires...Things go wrong sometimes, our company would screw up - and an owner would be ready to cancel all orders and send our stuff back. I'd show up, and with a little soothe-saying some olive branch offers they would double the original order. On top of this, I built, from scratch, a solid team of seasonal merchandisers that I would send into the stores. These guys would come back to me year after year; I loved them and the stores did too. Other skills? 15 years ago I went to community college for graphic design; I didn't finish. I was a hack. I'm good at photoshop, though. I'm pretty good with a socket and ratchet set. I'm a low-rent musican, too. So, thats what I can do. I don't know how to traslate that into a resume that would make a hiring manager drop everything and call me in. A few things I have found: Many sales positions are commission-only. This will not work, I need an initial income to survive and do the job properly. Also, territory sales rep jobs require a car. I do not have one, nor can I get one. I can't even rent one, with my bad credit. (I really, desperately wish I could go back to school. Event Co-ordintor calls my name, it seems to play to the best of my abilities. But I am ineligable for OSAP, and will never ever see the $7000 or so it costs to go. So that's out.) At this stage, if I could just get a gig that pays $2000 a month, I'd call it a win. Is that too much to ask? Maybe I'm not worth it. So many folks I know make much more then that, I wish I were as capable. Do jobs that fit my skills even exist? I can't find them. Are there alternatives? Is my age getting in the way? I'm competing with people 10 years younger and way more education, do I have a chance? Or should I just get used to poverty for my remaining life? (Sorry, that's bitterness ripping through. I've just...never really lived, you know. I want to travel, do things...get my ugly teeth fixed, get the sleeve inked that I've wanted forever. I can't even date. I've struggled for years it seems to get nowhere. This life sucks, that's all...)

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
My Search-Fu is utterly failing me. Where did I read the line (paraphrased): "He was like a tennis player who mistakes his best game for his everyday game [or natural level or basic capability]". I want to say it was in a novel by a female author,: Lessing, Christie or Woolf maybe? I might be completely wrong. Fairly sure the narrator's voice was female. Can anyone help?

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posted about 7 hours ago on metafilter
I'm single (straight male, 32) and starting to date women online again. I tend to have much better relationships with feminist-leaning women than with women that believe in traditional gender roles because they match better with my personal feelings about gender. How do I represent this in either my online dating profile or messages without coming across as awkward? I tend to overthink these kind of things.I identify as straight but generally have had the most successful relationships with women that identify as Bisexual for whatever reason. I've been primarily dating on OKCupid, haven't tried Tinder or other apps because they seemed more focused on physical attractiveness than personality. I have two questions: 1. Does it make sense at all for a guy to say that he's feminist somewhere in his dating profile? Because I'm a programmer, I worry that the rest of my profile may make me sound like a "typical male computer nerd" and put off women I'm interested in, but I'm not sure how to phrase it. Writing "I believe in women's rights and fluid gender roles" in my profile feels weird and inauthentic. 2. When do you bring up something like this in messages? If someone strongly identifies as a Feminist in their profile, is asking about that in an initial message a good or bad idea? I'm never sure when to bring politics or personal philosophies up when exchanging messages, but I am genuinely interested in other people's views on gender. Yeah, I'm probably overthinking this. Anyway, any related advice is welcome as well.

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
Lucian hangs out next to Indiana Jones. Buford's favorite is Splash Mountain. Bernice prefers California Adventure. The Cats of Disneyland. Also: In Defense Of Disneyland: Why It's Worth Revisiting As A Jaded Adult Still, watching thousands of people head for the exits after the fireworks show and witnessing the situation not dissolve into madness makes me marvel, every time. Previously: A Special Saliva-Cleaning Solution. I worked at Disneyland for two years in the late 80s. I saw cats all the time, but never during the day, and they never had names.

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posted about 8 hours ago on metafilter
In Surfacing, you are a signal traveling across the undersea network... In the process, narratives about the history of the cable network, the companies that construct it, and the ecologies that it runs through will orient you in your journey. A digital mapping project made to accompany a new book on international cable networks, The Undersea Network. Read an excerpt here, or listen to an interview with author Nicole Starosielski on the New Books in History podcast.

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
It's finally time for me to get serious about getting healthy. Walking more is a key part of this. But is there a 'too much more'? Snowflakes inside.Details about me: I am 5'9" and a little north of 400 lbs, and though I'm probably more active than the average 400 lb person, I need to change. Otherwise mostly healthy in other respects; slightly elevated BP controlled well by low dose meds, normal cholesterol and periodic bloodwork, aside from a genetic clotting disorder for which I am on lifelong Coumadin. No signs of diabetes (yet, I know). I have a mostly sedentary desk job. My plan is to start eating better (which I don't need help with), and walking (which I do). As a baseline I tracked my steps last week during a 'normal' week and clocked in an average of about 3000 steps/day. I know, not great. I need more, but because of my excess weight and lurking knee issues, I want to slowly ramp things up instead of suddenly throwing excess activity at my body with no 'workup'. My plan is to set a goal of increasing daily steps. My main questions are: What is a good goal increase, and how often? Is it a good idea to periodically 'plateau' at some points to let my body adjust more completely before continuing to increase the daily goal? Anything specific as far as knees / feet I should be aware of that might tell me I'm pushing too hard? Could loose tennis shoes contribute to foot/knee problems when walking? Mine are slip-them-on-already-tied level of loose. How troublesome is this, physically? My initial thought was to take that 3000 and add 500 daily steps every two weeks until I get to 10k, and then evaluate my progress and the need to continue to increase. Too conservative? Too aggressive? Initial goals are to be able to participate in more 5k walks (I can do them now, but need to sit for a few minutes 2-3 times because my ankles and calves get really sore, and I want to keep up with family / everyone else, plus I ache like crazy for 2 days after) and to be fit enough to enjoy all the walking that might come with touring the UK / Ireland next spring. Mid-term, lose 70 lbs in 1 year, long term get close to 200. Any and all advice welcome. Thank you!

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posted about 9 hours ago on metafilter
My sister bought a couch several months ago that arrived with a tear. The store sent a replacement which was also in terrible condition and which they refused to accept. Now the store is offering a partial refund, but my sister and her husband just want their money back at this point. Is this realistic?My sister and her husband live in Chicago and bought a couch and chair several months ago (floor models). When the furniture arrived the couch had a rather sizable tear in the arm, which they are confident was not there in the store. After a lot of hassle, the store agreed to replace the couch, but sent a replacement with even more tearing in the back. This was fixed, but barely. The work was obvious and clearly would not hold up, so my sister did not accept the replacement delivery. So now they just want their money back. They paid $1100 all together, and figure 300 for the chair and 800 for the couch. The store is offering $400. Do they stand a chance of getting a full refund at this point? How can they achieve this?

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